Matters of the Heart
by twilightgirl224
Summary: Heartbroken when Tanya told him she cheated on him with his best friend after he proposed to her, Edward vowed to give up on love and women. Bella Swan, the shy freshman at the Univ of Wash, catches his eye.  He fights to stay away, but can he?
1. Chapter 1  Broken Heart

**C/N: **_**This is the introduction and background to Edward, before he heads back to school. He is hurting and broken, give him a little love. He needs it.**_

_**Thanks to the PTB Beta Team who reviewed this chapter for me: MrsDazzled and BellaDean**_

Chapter 1 ~ Broken Heart

EPOV

Two weeks before the start of the semester, I was actually looking forward to returning to school which was kind of amazing considering the fucked up year I'd had. I had originally not wanted to attend college, but I kind of agreed to it for my parents' sake. I was a sophomore at the University of Washington majoring in pre-med with a minor in music. The music bit was my idea. It had always been part of my life since I was little. I played the guitar - well, used to play is more like it. I hadn't touched my baby in more than six months, but more on that later. I was hoping that getting away from Forks for another year would help me get over some of the lingering issues I have because of _her. _

Something happened during my freshman year at college, on Valentine's Day, no less. It totally blind-sided me. I never imagined in a million years that it would go down like it did. Looking back on it, I never saw any signs. As they say, love is blind. Fuck that cliché, but it rang true. I thought that we were in love; at least I knew I was in love, but I guess I was too naive. Because of what happened, my trust in women other than my mother and sister had gone to hell in a hand basket. I still had issues with my sister, but that was for other reasons. One thing was for sure - I would never give my heart to anyone like that again. I would not put myself in the position again to get hurt like that. _Fuck them all!_

My girlfriend was Tanya Denali -_ a bitch, and_ _I'm being generous with that description now_, and I was hoping she was going to become my fiancé and then after I graduated, we'd maybe even get married. That was my dream of course, but that went to shit when she told me she was having an affair with a friend of mine and that she was pregnant with his baby. I had been with her since my junior year of high school and at the time, I was more than halfway into my freshman year of college. I honestly thought she was my everything. She was supposed to become my wife, be the mother of _my_ children. I could see my future with her when I looked into her crystal-blue eyes every time we made love. _What a crock of shit! _

I was going to propose to her during an incredibly romantic evening that I had planned for over a month. I reserved a room at one of the most sought-after restaurants in Seattle. I had it decorated with roses and candles everywhere. I wanted it to be special for her. I was there when she walked through the door, wearing the most beautiful red dress I have ever seen. It was a strapless, empire waist satin gown. It flowed openly with a slit up to her thigh. She was beautiful. Her strawberry colored hair was pinned up with loose strands falling around her face, and she was wearing just a touch of make-up. She was naturally beautiful. My heart skipped a few beats as she walked toward me, and my breathing became erratic.

She didn't come up to kiss me when she got to the table; which was unusual for her. The waiter helped her with her chair. Once she sat, I followed in my chair. My mouth was dry and my hands were shaking. I was so fucking nervous. I couldn't stop running my hands through my hair every thirty seconds. The waiter took our order, and when he left, I just began to stare at her. I moved my hand over to grasp hers, but she moved her hand back before I could take it. That should have gotten my attention, but no, of course not. I didn't think anything of it. _Now Is just a good a time as any_, I thought_._

"Tanya?" My mouth felt parched.

"Yeah, Edward." She answered as she took a sip of water; fidgeting in her chair.

"You know how much I love you right?" I asked as I looked right into her eyes. She met my gaze and then suddenly looked away. _Signs, right?_

"Sure," she said nonchalantly.

"I was hoping to take our relationship to the next level. I know that I just started college, and I have a few years ahead of me before I graduate, but I wanted to let you know that I will love you for the rest of my life and you are the one for me. I want you to be in my life forever." She didn't look at me. Her gaze was focused somewhere in the distance. I started getting even more nervous; if that was even possible. I pulled the little black box out of my pocket and opened it.

"Tanya... honey," I said, causing her to finally look back over to me, and then look down at the box where her eyes grew wide. "I wanted to ask you something." I smiled at her.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she gasped as her breath got caught in her throat.

"Will you marry me? Make me the happiest man on this earth…" I trailed off as she quickly stood up from her chair and started pacing behind it.

"Tanya, are you okay?" I asked. I was getting concerned.

What was she thinking? She couldn't stop shaking her head. I heard a noise coming from her. I thought that maybe she was crying. _Boy was I wrong._ She didn't say anything at first, but out of nowhere she started laughing, and my heart shattered into about a million little pieces. _What the fuck is going on? Where did this come from? What did I miss?_ I was about to find out what kind of fucked up relationship I really had with her.

When she finally stopped laughing, about two minutes later, she began to tell me why she couldn't marry me. First, she told me she never thought our relationship was that serious. I was just some sort of play thing to her. Second, she told me about James, _the fucker _and my friend, who she had been sleeping with before I graduated from high school. Thirdly, she found out the week before that she was four weeks pregnant with his bastard child. Of course it wasn't mine, and my heart was torn to shreds again. She was supposed to be _mine,_ and _we_ were supposed to have a family together. I knew the baby wasn't mine because we hadn't been together since Thanksgiving when I had made it home for the holidays. I had to pull myself together from sobbing out loud, her confession weighting on me heavily, nearly crushing me.

**~*MoTH*~**

I went home to Forks that night. I needed to be close to my family, but I wasn't ready to talk. The next day when I told Alice and Emmett what had happened, After some serious provoking from my dear little evil pixie of a sister, they were out for blood.

Alice was worried about me when I didn't get out of bed that morning. She knocked on my door, but of course, I wasn't up for company. My heart had been ripped from my chest, trampled on and torn to pieces. Alice, being Alice, wasn't having that. She just walked right into my room. _Damn, I knew I should have locked my door last night. _ I had my covers up over my entire body, with my pillow over my head. Alice came and sat the end of my bed and shook me.

"Edward," she said lowly. I ignored her, which was a bad move.

"Edward!" she yelled and at the same time she tried to pull the cover off of me. I had a death grip on it. "What is your problem?"

"Alice, get out of my room!" I growled from underneath the covers.

"Not happening, Edward. Come on, what's the deal?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"FUCK OFF, ALICE!" I yelled at her.

"DON'T YOU YELL AT ME, BROTHER! I didn't do a damn thing to you, you prick!" she shouted. She was getting pissed. I should have known better. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

My voice was softer this time. "I'm sorry sis, but I don't want to talk about what happened, please."

"Uh uh, get from underneath the covers, Edward. What happened to you last night? You came home so late. We weren't expecting you home until next weekend. I thought you had a special night planned with Tanya," she asked with concern.

My heart clenched at the mention of her name. I didn't ever want to hear her name again. I could feel the anger building in my body and I immediately tensed. Alice felt the shift in my body.

"Edward, come on, you're starting to scare me." Her voice was cracking at the end of the sentence and I knew what would come next. _Oh no, please don't._ Then I heard it, the sniffle. _SHIT!_ _I'm in trouble now._ I couldn't stand the thought of my sister crying. It broke my heart. I tossed the pillow off to the side of my bed, and I threw the cover off of me. I looked up at Alice and I could see the tears threatening to spill over. _FUCK!_

"I'm sorry, Alice. Don't cry. I'm fine, see," I said sitting up and placing my hand under her chin angling her head up to look into her eyes. "I just had a really fucked up night last night and I needed to get away from Seattle to be close to my family." She nodded, but of course it didn't stop there.

"What happened?" She moved closer to me. I sighed and rolled my eyes. She was pouting. _Ugh! Damn it!_

"I proposed to Tanya last night," I whispered.

She gasped and Emmett coughed in surprise. I looked over to where the noise came from. I didn't even know he was in there. I should have known she would have brought back up. If she couldn't get me out of bed, all he would have needed to do was toss my mattress, while I was still on it. _I'm so not ready for this. _

"W-Wh-What? I knew you had a special night planned, but I didn't think it was anything like that? How did I not see this coming?" She asked, as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. My wannabe psychic sister thought she could see things that were supposed to happen in the future. She wasn't always one hundred percent accurate, but I still wouldn't bet against her. I snorted at her comment.

"Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen, obviously, because she didn't say yes," I said sarcastically.

All of a sudden all the emotions I was holding in wanted a release, but I fought to keep them back. I was not going to cry in front of my sister and brother, but I couldn't keep my voice from cracking.

"She laughed at me after I proposed. She told me that she had been fucking James for over a year and, to top it off, that she was pregnant with that fucker's kid," I said, still fighting back the tears, but also growing angrier by the second.

"SAY WHAT?" they both cried in unison.

_I'm so not going to repeat that shit again._ "Please don't make me say it again. It was hard enough to say it the first time," I said, pleading with them.

"I'm going to go kick her ass!" Alice growled, spitting mad. She was red with fury.

"I'm going to fuck him up, Edward. How could James do this to you? He has been your friend since high school." Emmett was marching around the room, beating his balled up hand into his other for emphasis. That man was always looking for a fight. I had to laugh inwardly just thinking about it. I told them both to just let it go. It wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth it, and I definitely wasn't worth it. It was my fault that it happened; I never saw the signs.

"SERIOUSLY!" Alice screamed at me. I cringed at her anger. It wasn't worth them getting involved. Tanya wasn't worth seeing my family get hurt, or arrested for that matter.

"NO WAY, BRO! They can't do that shit to you and get away with it," Emmett jumped up still pounding his fist into his hand. He wanted to hit something really badly. His face was beet red in anger.

"Come on guys," I said. "I can't handle this right now."

I sat back against the headboard of my bed, running my hands through my hair. It probably looked like shit. I'd been pulling it for hours out of frustration…and I was ready to pull it all out.

"Please, promise me that you won't tell mom and dad," I pleaded.

They both nodded, but I knew that wasn't going to last very long. As a matter of fact, my parents came up later that evening to see if there was anything they could do. _Damn them!_ I told my parents no, but I asked them if they would mind if I stayed home for the week. I wasn't ready to go back to school yet. They understood, but I knew they were worried about me.

During the week at home, I shut myself off from my family. They tried to help me, but I locked myself in my own personal hell. I actually made it back to school the next week, but my classes suffered over the following weeks. I didn't want to concentrate on anything. After letting my grades slip and my professors threatening to fail me if I didn't turn in my work and participate in class, I decided to at least get my shit together in the one aspect of my life I could control.

I'd let my personal life go down the toilet, but my educational career I needed to manage. I was able to do some extra credit to make up for the assignments, quizzes and tests that I had missed during those few weeks, and I finished my freshman year with a three point eight GPA, surprisingly. I left in May to return home after the semester ended. I was glad to be going home to my family, but I didn't want to run into _her_.

**~*MoTH*~**

I still didn't talk to my family when I returned home. I was so used to being by myself, in my self-enforced seclusion. I stopped being social at school, so I was used to being alienated from everyone. All I did was focus on my classes. Even my music suffered. I stopped playing my guitar the day she blew my proposal off and strangled my heart. Good thing I didn't have any practicals for my minor yet. I didn't think I could have handled having to play.

I think God was playing with me the day I decided to venture out of the house for the first time in a month. I took a drive in my car to go into the city. I didn't know where I was going, but I figured I would know when I got there. Just for the hell of it, I decided to go to the music shop on the strip, and when I got out of my car, I turned around.

_FUCK MY LIFE! ROYALLY!_

I'll be damned if I didn't run into that bitch. I looked up into the sky and mouthed 'Seriously?' She was walking towards her car with bags in her hands. She was wearing jeans and a loose fitting shirt. Not loose enough, though, because I eyed the baby bump underneath. This was like a dagger to the heart! I pounded my fist on top of my car and growled under my breath. _Fuck this shit!_ I got back in my car and headed home.

I continued to distance myself from everyone and everything in my life for the next couple of months. _Poor Jasper._ He had been my best friend since elementary school. Even he tried to help me out, to cheer me up, but I wasn't having it. I was a dick to everyone, including my parents. The more everyone tried to help, the more I pushed them all away and basically, in not so subtle words, told them to 'fuck off'. After awhile they let me be, and I fell back into myself, into my self-imposed hell of a universe. I couldn't believe I let a woman affect my life that way, but I thought I was in love with her. I was in love with her and that was what made it all suck so much. I thought she was 'the one'. Looking back, I truly didn't know shit! _Argh!_

My band was suffering as well as a result of my breakdown. Music had been my life before. It always soothed every fiber of my being, but after that night, I didn't believe I deserved it. I missed playing. I truly did. I couldn't even look at my guitar without wanting to break it against the wall. I hoped getting back to school would help me get away and deal with all the shit, or I was truly going to be fucked for the rest of my life. One damn thing was for sure, I would never trust another woman.

Now that the summer was ending, I needed to get ready to leave for school. I started packing my room up again. I was throwing away everything that had to do with Tanya. Even thinking her name made me want to puke. I tossed all that shit into a pile near my door. _I will burn every last bit of it until it is nothing but ash!_

When I finished packing what I felt like packing that time around, I stood against the wall and slowly slid down until I was on the floor. I was sitting across from my bed, and I glanced over at the pile of Tanya's stuff from the corner of my eye. I moved my head to just stare at it. After about five minutes, I put my head in my hands and began to cry.

_WHAT THE FUCK!_

I honestly thought I was going crazy. Before I felt the tears, I heard the sob escape my chest. _I am fucking crying over a girl. How much more of a pansy can I become? Oh my God, I need to get a life!_ I closed myself off in my room again that night. I didn't have an appetite for food. I hadn't really eaten much those last few months. I knew I had lost some weight because my already baggy clothes had gotten even baggier over the summer. My mom and dad were seriously worried. The tried to talk to me sometimes, but when they would try, I'd just give them the death stare that told them to just drop it and leave me the fuck alone. My mother came up to my room the next day to check on me. When she walked into my room, I pulled the cover over my head and tried to ignore her.

"Edward?" She called my name and it was etched with concern. _God I hate hurting her._ I loved her, but she just didn't understand.

"Go away, mom," I whispered back to her calmly, not wanting to hurt her anymore with my words.

"Are you okay?" she asked, either not hearing what I had said or she's choosing to ignore me. I hoped it was the former.

"Mom, please go away!" I said with a little more force in my words. I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to crawl into myself and let my sanity go out the window.

"Edward, I'm not going anywhere until we talk. You are scaring your father and me." Her voice broke at the end, but being the dick that I was, I just rolled my eyes.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I growled. _Seriously! Why can't anyone take the hint?_

"NO!" she exclaimed. Now, my mother very rarely raised her voice and the thought of this made me cringe, but I still didn't care. I brought the cover just below my chin so I could look at her and hopefully she would hear what I had to say.

"Mom, I don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone," I said my eyes pleading with her to understand, but when I finally looked into her eyes and saw all the hurt and confusion, my heart sank. I hated being the reason why it was there and she was hurting, but damn it, my heart was broken. I just wanted to wallow in self-pity. I didn't want to burden anyone with my issues, but I could see how this was affecting her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I don't mean to make you upset. I just don't want to talk it," I said, my voice cracking.

"Oh, Edward, I'm just really worried about you honey," she cooed.

"I know you are. I'll be fine. I just need time to figure all this out. Maybe getting back to school will help me get over some of this. I just need to be away from here for a while," I explained to her.

"I hope so honey. I hate seeing you in pain knowing I can't do anything to fix it," she said, only that time it was her voice that was cracking. She looked like she was going to cry. _Oh God! No! I can't stand this. This is a million times worse than my sister crying of course. Who the fuck wants to make their mother cry?_

"I know. I'm so sorry Mom," I said, looking into her eyes. I saw the wetness threatening to fall. I couldn't stand it.

"Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong," she asked incredulously as she ran her hand through my hair. I used to love when she did that when I was younger and right then, it actually felt good.

"It's all my fault!" I sobbed. She moved closer to me on the bed. She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me to her chest. She continued to run her hand through my hair, and I felt like I was five again. _Wow, how I have missed my mother._ She put her finger under my chin and pulled it up to meet her eyes.

"Why do you feel this is your fault?" she looked at me quizzically.

I sat up. "How could it not be? Tanya was cheating on me for over a year mom! How could I not see it?" The tears were still falling down my cheeks. "I never thought she could do this me," I cried as I reached up and clutched handfuls of hair and sobbed into my chest.

"Oh baby!" she cried out as she pulled my hands out of my hair and pulled me back into her chest. She wrapped her arms around me and just held me, rocking back a forth a little. About a minute later, I pulled away from her. I was so disgusted with myself and, I didn't want to impose on her.

"Stop, please!" I croaked. She looked at me with such concern and love. I didn't want or deserve any of it. I lay back down and pulled the cover back over my head. "Just leave me alone right now, please!" I begged.

"If you need _anything_, please let me know," she said as she emphasized _anything_. "I love you, Edward." She left and closed the door.

"I love you too, Mom," I whispered, but it was too late. Sighing, I rolled over and went to sleep.

The next week passed pretty much like the one before it. I locked myself away in my room, only coming out to eat and when I did, it was like I was a walking zombie. My family tried and tried to get me to talk, but I just pushed them away. Every time I looked at my mother, the hurt was emanating from her eyes. They always looked like they were on the verge of spilling over with tears, but I never saw them fall. That would have been my undoing. Alice tried everything to get me to talk. I loved her for trying, but even her hyper, cheery self couldn't bring me out of the hell I had put myself into.

My room was completely packed up, and I was finally ready to go. The pile of crap that was everything Tanya had been burned to ashes. I wasn't joking about watching it burn - it felt good, though I didn't let myself enjoy it for long. My heart that was shattered six months prior was still dead and cold. How can one person cause so much misery and distrust in another? How is someone supposed to recover from the hurt, the loss and the shock to their mind, body and soul? _Thank God I leave for school tomorrow. I need to get away from all the fucking pain._

_**~*Twilightgirl224**_


	2. Chapter 2  College Bound

**C/N**: _**This is an introduction to Bella and a little bit of her background. She lost her best friend and is starting her freshman year at the University. Being away from your friends and family is hard for a young person, give her a little love – she's gonna need it soon.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Thanks to the PTB Beta Team who reviewed this chapter for me: Lindsey21412 and tiffanyanne3; I know they thought this chapter wasn't really necessary, but I wanted everyone to get a little insight to Bella's state of mind, sort to speak.**_

Chapter 2 ~ College Bound

BPOV

I couldn't believe it was almost time to head off to college. It seemed like only yesterday when I moved back home to live with my father after my mother remarried. She wanted to travel with her new husband while he was on the road for the baseball minors. I wanted to give them space, so I told her that I would go live with my dad for a while. I was seventeen when I returned home. The last time I was there I was twelve. I hadn't seen my father in over five years, and it was an awkward ride after he picked me up from the airport. We barely spoke, but when you haven't actually talked face-to-face for five years?

It turned into more than just a while, but I didn't regret it. I love Charlie, but I didn't know how he survived when I wasn't living there. The man couldn't cook worth a damn. He ate at the diner almost every single day. We were similar in other ways. Our personalities were almost identical, and it made it easier to live with him. I cleaned and cooked. If I didn't, then I would have had to eat at the diner every day, and I wasn't having that.

When we got to the house, Charlie helped me carry my things to my room. It looked the same way I left it when I left five years ago. Typical Charlie - he was afraid of change. There were some new additions though; a desk for my laptop, a standing mirror, and he bought new bedding for my twin bed. He put my things down, stood there for about two minutes, and then said he would be downstairs. One good thing about Charlie is that he doesn't hover.

When I had arrived in Forks, there was only a couple months left of my junior year. I couldn't believe I made the choice to move in mid-term. What was I thinking? I hated being the new girl in school and the center of attention, but my first day wasn't too bad. I met a few students that day, and they quickly became some of my closest friends. Angela, Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Eric and I had become our own little clique. Angela and I were the closest out of our little group. Outside of school, my true best friend, Jacob, was my sun and savior. He helped me through almost everything. He attended the school on the reservation. Jacob was a member of the Quileute tribe and Billy, his father, was the chief.

Jacob and I were so close that we were more like brother and sister than friends. I would do anything for him if he ever asked and vice versa. We used to hang out all the time whenever I would come to visit my father. Our fathers had been best friends even before we were born.

There were some rough patches during my senior year of high school. Mike decided he wanted to try and start something of a relationship with me. I knew that Jessica liked him, and I didn't like Mike in that way. She wasn't happy when Mike would show more attention to me than her. It wasn't my fault, and even though I spurned his advances, Jessica still had issues with me. I didn't know what else to do. I told her that I had absolutely no interest in him. Hell, I even told Mike that, but he thought I was just playing hard to get. I literally had to tell him to back off or we weren't going to be friends anymore. I also told him that he must have been blind if he didn't see how much Jessica liked him. I guess he got the hint; they went on a date the following week.

Next, Tyler tried to get me to go out with him. Lauren, Tyler's ex, shot daggers at me with her eyes for weeks. What were these guys thinking? I never had any feeling for them outside of friendship. I still had no idea what they saw in me. Jessica was much prettier than I was. Lauren was such a bold person; she always spoke her mind. I never had that kind of initiative. I was just plain ole' Bella. There was nothing special about me. I was short, pale, and skinny. I was a jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers kind of girl. I didn't like dressing up. I didn't even wear make-up. Well, except for a little mascara and lip gloss, but that's it.

~*MoTH*~

What happened after New Year's hit close to home, literally. I never would have guessed that Jacob had feelings for me. Looking back on it now, I guess I missed the clues, but I wasn't looking for them. Jacob was like a brother to me and I didn't feel that way about him. When he had told me he was in love with me, I about fell over from shock. What the fuck!

"Bella, I…I have something to tell you," he said, nervously.

_Now, you know, when someone says "I have something to tell you," it's not going to be good_.

I looked up at him concerned and put my hand on his arm. "What's wrong, Jake?"

"Um…uh…um…" he said as he wiped his hand across his forehead. "I want to let you know something, and I don't want you to freak out, but I need you to know." He was looking straight into my eyes. "God, I thought I could do this smoother," he sighed.

"Now you're scaring me, Jake," I said, concerned. My breathing and heart rate had increased, and I tried to keep my body from shaking with fear.

"It's nothing bad. At least I don't think so," he said as he put his hand on my cheek and moved closer to me. "Bella, I'm in love with you," he said huskily.

I stepped back, out of his reach. This was **not** what I was expecting. Where the hell did this come from? Again, I ask, what is wrong with these guys? Argh!

"What did you just say?" I asked incredulously. He looked at me confused.

"I love you, Bella. I have loved you since you came back to Forks. I just finally got up the nerve to tell you," he said while moving towards me again.

"Where did this come from?" I asked him as I took a step backwards. What I really wanted to do was run to my room, curl into my bed, and pull the covers over my head.

"I've had these feelings for you for a while. Being with you is as easy as breathing for me. I can tell you anything, be anything for you," he said with conviction. He stepped even closer to me and took my hand in his. I don't want this!

"What about you and Leah?" I asked, trying to take my hand back, but he grasped it tighter.

"There is nothing between Leah and me, never has been. She's just a friend!" he spat. Yeah, right. That's not what I hear.

"I'm sorry, Jake, but I don't feel that way about you," I said heatedly, trying to get him to understand.

"I don't believe you!" he said, sounding almost hurt.

"Why don't you believe me?" I asked incredulously – I was getting seriously angry with him. "I don't feel that way about you!" I said forcefully as I pushed him back, though he barely moved. I finally snatched my hand from his, but he moved closer to me again.

"Bella, I know you feel something for me," he said in disbelief. I looked at him like he was crazy. "I can feel it," he said in a husky tone.

"There is nothing there for me, Jacob!" I said with a growl, narrowing my eyes at him. I moved towards him. Jacob took the chance with the close proximity of our bodies, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned into me. He lowered his head and put his lips to mine. I couldn't move. I was in total shock.

What the fuck! 

When I began to twist and try to wiggle myself from his grasp, he tightened his hold on me. His mouth moved fiercely over my lips. I tried to push him away, but he didn't give up. He let the hand that was holding mine go and brought it up to cup my cheek. I took the chance to wiggle free from him. I pushed him as hard as I could, and when I got away from him, I looked him straight in his eyes, curled my hand into a fist and with all the force I could muster, I punched him in the face.

OW!

I wouldn't even let him know how much that freaking hurt. The anger I felt right then helped dull the pain that was shooting through my hand. I looked back at him, and he just stood there in a daze, like he was shocked that I hit him. What did he expect?

"How dare you!" I screamed at him. "I can't believe you did that to me!" I screeched the words between clenched teeth. I was furious with him. When I began to walk away, Jacob grabbed my hand, but I snatched it from his grasp immediately.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, pleading with me. "Please forgive me. I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me. I truly love you. I just wish I could convince you that you feel the same," he said, sounding defeated. He took a few steps back, and I watched as his face fell and his shoulders slumped over.

"I love you, but not in the way you think I do. You are like a brother to me. You are my sun and my warmth, but that is where it ends for me. I don't know what you think you know about my feelings for you, but I have never given you any indication that you could be anything more to me than my friend." I moved closer to him and placed my hands on both sides of his face, trying to get him to look at me, but he was avoiding eye contact with me.

"Jake, look at me please." My voice softened and his eyes slowly moved to meet mine. I could see all the hurt and pain showing in those deep black eyes. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but it was never intentional. I wish I felt differently for you, but I don't. I wish I could take away the pain you are feeling." I looked into his eyes, showing him all my concern and sympathy for him. "I don't want to lose you. You are my best friend."

Jacob's head snapped up the moment I said that. "But you will always be more than that for me," he said as his voice cracked.

"Please stop. I can't change the way I feel, and I won't keep apologizing for it either," I said as my eyes started to fill with tears. Damn him for making me feel guilty. This was not my fault! There were never any advances and I never flirted with him.

Fuck my life!

Things between Jacob and me were tedious at best over the span of the following few months. He barely spoke to me, no matter how much I tried. His father always made some excuse when I called so he wouldn't have to come to the phone. He was acting like a child. I almost went over to his place to see him, but I was not going to be the one to put the distance between us. I also didn't want to see the pain in his eyes caused by my reaction to his confession.

~*MoTH*~

The months dragged by slowly. My life at school remained the same. My friends and I were anxiously awaiting graduation. In April, I got my acceptance letter from the University of Washington. When I saw the envelope in the mailbox, my heart about jumped into my throat and it took me nearly two hours to gather the nerve to open it. My father kept laughing and me and finally asked if I wanted him to open it for me. Of course not! When I finally opened the letter, I didn't even get past the first word _Congratulations_ before I started to squeal with excitement, and I ran into the living room to hug my dad. He laughed and said how proud he was of me. I looked up into his eyes, and I could have swear that I could see the tears forming about ready to fall, but they never did. I called my mom to tell her the news and her squeals through the phone about rivaled my own. Even Charlie heard it. I looked over to him, and he was shaking his head.

My mom and dad were there when I graduated from high school. Mom and Dad's faces beamed with pride while mine was flushed from all the excitement. After graduation we went out to dinner. My mom and dad started talking about tuition and fees. They advised me that they were going to help me move into my dorm. This was the most they have talked to each other in years. I spent most of the summer getting ready for school.

~*MoTH*~

The last few weeks before term started I went to Florida to spend some time with my mom. She was such a carefree soul, and I had missed her so much. She took me around Jacksonville to some of the hot spots of the city. Of course she took me to some of the local beaches. Ponte Vedra beach was very beautiful and it was so different from La Push - it was much warmer! We took a walk through downtown then took a ride on the ferry along the St. John's River. We walked through Friendship Park after it got darker. I liked how the lights played on top of the water and how the Main Street Bridge and the Acosta Bridge lit up the night. It was really a beautiful sight.

On a spur of the moment, she decided we should go to St. Augustine for the day. She said we could shop, visit the lighthouse, and go on one of the ghost tours they had there. I thought it would be fun. As we drove down, we passed an outlet mall where you can buy all things designer. My eyes locked on the Converse store located in there. I made it a point to tell her we needed to stop on our way back and she laughed at me. I wasn't joking.

We finally made it to St. George Street in St. Augustine, the main strip location for tourists. They had so many shops and restaurants that contain just about whatever your heart desired. We ate at a fabulous Cuban restaurant there. Their food was to die for! We sat back and talked a little about school, what my goals were, and how proud she was of me. Then the subject turned to her and Phil. She would smile every time she said his name.

"So, what's Phil going to do when the season is over?" I asked her.

"They will go into training, which is good because their training location is here in Jacksonville. So we don't have to move or pick up again. Thank God," she said as she let out a long breath of relief.

"I thought you liked going on the road with him," I said confusedly. That was the whole reason why I moved back to Forks, to Charlie's place, my home.

"I did, in the beginning, but it got to be too much for me. I barely saw him, and when I got to spend time with him, he was to tired and fell asleep," she said with a laugh.

"Okay. Is that why you were trying to get me to move back home earlier this year?" I asked, a little annoyed.

"That and I really missed you, Bella. You're my little girl," she cooed as she put her hand over mine.

"I have never been a little girl, Mom," I said, laughing as I thought back at how much I took care of her growing up.

"So true, you have always been my little, middle-aged daughter. Sorry that I put you through all that growing up," she said, as her voice broke a little, and her smile started to fade. I put my hand on hers this time, comforting my mother, but it started to feel like I was being the mother, again.

"It's fine, Mom, I had to grow up a little quicker than normal, but I don't regret anything. I am happy. Look, I just graduated from high school and now I am about to head off to college. What can be better than that?" I asked as I looked up at her and smiled.

"I'm so proud of you, baby and don't ever think any different. I can't wait for you to graduate from college and make a name for yourself," she said as the tone in her voice changed and the look on her face made my breath hitch for a second, because I knew where this was heading. "Are you seeing anyone, Bella?" Oh no! I knew it. I wanna die -NOW!

"No," I huffed.

"Why not?" she asked. Oh, Mom, leave it alone. Why is she asking me this? Wasn't she the one who kept telling me, "You don't need a man to define you. Don't get married right out of high school. Live your dreams first! Argh! Maybe being married to Phil had changed her outlook on life a bit, but I was not ready to have this conversation with her. So I tried to change the subject.

"Hey, Mom, we need to get going if we still want to do the ghost tour before we have to leave. I still want to hit that Converse store also before we head home," I said, hoping to catch her off guard.

"Oh crap, yeah we need to go. It starts at seven-thirty," she said as she looked down at her watch. And that was all it took to move the subject off of my non-existent love life. She was so easy.

We left the restaurant and went off to do the ghost tour. It was interesting, but I couldn't help laugh under my breath at some of the things they said to get the people in the group scared. Some people are such pushovers. The tour ended about an hour and a half later and we just made it before the Converse store closed. I picked out a couple of new pairs of Chucks. One was a pair of black high-tops and the other was a dark green pair. They were just what I was looking for. We got back in the car and headed back to her house. I stayed in Jacksonville for another two weeks and then I headed home to Forks.

~*MoTH*~

When I finally got back to Forks, there was one week left before I had to head off to Seattle. My nerves had been getting the better of me, and doubt had weaseled its way into my mind. Was I strong enough to handle this on my own? Was I good enough? I finished getting things packed and ready. I wanted to make sure that Charlie had enough home-cooked food to last at least a week. When he came into the kitchen and saw what I was doing, he started shaking his head.

"Bells, don't worry about me. I've been taking care of myself for the past twenty years," he said as he laughed at me while I was packing up the food I made and stuffing it in the freezer.

"Yeah right, D,, Dad," I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "If I didn't do this for you, you'd be heading to the diner to moment I left." I laughed at him and all I heard was a mumbled 'hrmph.'

"There is nothing wrong with eating at the diner," he snorted.

"I know that, but home cooked meals are better for you," I stammered as I looked away from him, not wanting him to see the tears that had started forming. I was going to miss him so much.

Jacob still had nothing to say to me when I tried to call him to let him know I was leaving for school. This is beyond ridiculous; I did nothing wrong! I missed my best friend. I hoped things would start to look up when I finally got to the university. The next day was Thursday, and I would find myself on the road, making my way to Seattle. There I would officially become a college student.

Oh my God! 

_**~ Twilightgirl224**_


	3. Chapter 3  New Beginnings

**C/N**: _**Edward finally arrives on campus and meets up with Jasper and his sister Alice. It's been awhile since he has spoken to any of them. So take special care - he's trying to come back to the land of the living.**_

_**Thanks to the PTB Beta Team who reviewed my chapter and one of them has become one of my permanent Betas: Woodlily and PerAmore91**_

Chapter 3 ~ New Beginnings

EPOV

I decided to leave a few days before classes started to get a jump start on check-in and get settled. Thank fuck that Jasper and I shared a room. I didn't think I could have handled some fucking stranger all up in my space. I hadn't hung out with Jasper like I used to. He had given me the space I needed. I barely talked to anyone after the whole proposal fiasco.

I unpacked my things and got my side of the room settled. I glanced over at my guitar leaning against the wall; I wasn't entirely sure why I brought it. The only time I even touched it was when I packed it in my car to bring it up here. I had no music left in me. It was lost the moment Tanya opened her mouth. _Bitch! God I hate her!_

It was Wednesday, five days before classes began, and I was curled up in my bed with the covers pulled over my head. _Man, I am pathetic._ All this shit over a woman. I needed to be a man and suck it up and never give my heart out to another woman. _Wait! What heart? That's been dead and cold for months now, so there's nothing to worry about. I could use women like the way _she_ used me. That was a sure fire way to not get hurt._ I kicked the blankets off me and stared at the ceiling. With pure spite and determination I vowed to never let another woman into my life.

Jasper showed up on Friday. He opened the door with a loud bang and found me standing in the middle of the room with a look of surprise plastered on my face. He almost dropped everything in his hands. He was shocked to see me there; he'd probably thought I was going to drop out or something.

I smirked. "Hey dude, what's up?" I asked.

He looked at me like I'd grown another head. With one eyebrow raised, he asked…"You're talking to me now?"

"Yeah, um…ah, yeah, I'm sorry about that, Jasper," I sputtered as I ran my hands through my hair nervously. "I know I've been a total dick these past few months, but I've finally given myself a good kick in the ass to try and get my shit together."

He laughed, "Now that is something I would have paid to see!" He came over and slapped me on the back. It was good to see him again. I helped Jasper unpack and put his things away; we caught each other up on six months' worth of gossip. When he started talking about _our_ band and what they did over the summer, I got pissed off. But that was my own damn fault. I had let the shit with Tanya run my entire life and I missed going off with the group to play at different venues. I felt a growl build in my chest; I was disgusted by my behavior. Jasper glanced my way and I shook my head, letting him know not to worry about it. I looked back at the Gibson leaning against the wall next to my bed. I missed playing!

Once we had everything put away, Jasper and I decided to go out and chill for a bit. There was a club near campus called _Lucid_. We decided to check out some of the local bands. They weren't too bad, but I knew that our band could run circles around them, at least when I played with them. They probably were better off without me, who knew? After about two hours I looked at Jasper.

"Hey man, you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, in a few minutes," he said, looking back at me. Then his attention turned back to a group of girls that were standing near the stage. I moved my gaze over to the girls and then back to Jasper, snickering.

"Jazz, close your mouth, dude. Or do I need to get you a bib to catch the drool oozing from your mouth?" I asked jokingly, punching him in the arm.

"Fuck off, man; don't start with me. Anyway, when did your sister get into town?" he asked, pointing at the same group of girls.

_What did he say? My sister?_ My head snapped over to the group of girls. There she was my little sister. _How the fuck did I miss that?_ She was swaying to music with a couple of other girls. I looked closely at the blonde. Hah: it was Rosalie, you couldn't miss her. I didn't recognize the one to the left of Alice though. She was a little bit taller than Alice, not by much, but hell, everyone was taller than Alice. The girl had long mahogany hair. She was thin, but she had some curves on her. I couldn't really get a good look at her face even though she would glance over at Alice and Rosalie every now and then. _Okay, stop staring, Cullen. It's time to go._

"Jazz, dude, I'm heading out. You staying or going?" I asked, standing up. I was on my way out when Jasper looked up at me and told me he was staying behind. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine, I'll see you back at the dorm room." I snorted and left him at the booth while he stared at Alice. He had it so bad. When I got to the door, I looked back to where Alice was standing, but my eyes quickly fell on the girl standing next to her. _What the fuck is wrong with me,_I wondered_._ I sighed and opened the door.

**~*MoTH*~**

I called Alice the next day to find out why she hadn't let me know she was in town.

"Alice, when did you get in?" I asked in a growl.

"Edward, don't you _dare_ take that tone with me. You have no right! _You _never talked to anyone. _You_ were the one who shut himself off from everyone, _not_ me!" she screeched.

I was a little taken aback by her response. Softly this time, I said, "I'm sorry, Alice. I know it wasn't you; it _was_ me. I just had to deal with things on my own." Then I whispered, "I missed you, lil' sis."

"Oh, Edward," she said, her voice wavering. I missed you too." I heard her sniffling into the phone.

"Alice, why are you crying?" I asked surprised. I hated it when she cried. I nervously ran my hand through my hair. I was pulling it so hard that I was surprised it wasn't coming out in clumps. _Shit! Why was I such a dick to my family?_ "Alice?" I called her name again.

"I'm here, sorry. I didn't mean to cry. I … I … um, I just haven't talked to you in so long." Her voice resumed its normal tone again, but I could still hear the hurt in it.

"I know, and that is entirely my fault," I whispered, my voice trembling. I sat down on my bed and stared out the window, trying to keep the traitor tears from forming.

"Edward!" she yelled and it broke me out of my self-imposed darkness, "Are you there?"

"Yes," I said weakly, rubbing my hand over my eyes.

"That wasn't your fault. You just allowed it to consume you," she said, matter-of-factly. "You should have let your family help you. That's what we are there for." She sounded like she was going to cry again.

"I know that. I know that, but my stubbornness and pride that kept me from asking you guys for help. For two whole years she told me that she loved me, Alice. And I believed her!" I growled.

It felt like bile was rising in my throat. My heart was about to pound its way out of my chest; I thought I was about to have an anxiety attack. My hands were twitching; I was ready to throw something or punch a wall. I seriously needed to calm down before my room became a disaster area. I didn't need Jasper to come back and freak out on me either. I began to take slow, deep breaths in and out, to help get my heart rate down.

"Edward, calm down. Look, I know she hurt you. We all saw what she did to you, what she turned you into, but to know that you gave up on _us_ - That is what hurt us the most. It killed Mom to see you like that, knowing there was nothing she could do to fix it," she said.

It made me feel like shit because Alice was laying a huge guilt trip on me. She knew she could; I deserved it. I treated them all like crap. I felt like the biggest asshole known to man. For over six months I walked around the house in my self-imposed hell that I had created. It took everything I had not to pull my hair out. _Breathe, man._

The only thing I could muster was, "I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say. _God, I was pathetic. I needed help._

"Stop saying that!" she screeched through the phone. "Just get your shit together!" Alice very rarely swore and when she did you knew she was pissed off. I almost had to laugh because it was weird to hear my sister curse. I must have snorted into the phone because all I heard from her end of the phone was a growl. _Oh shit!_

"Edward Anthony Cullen: Are you freaking laughing at me now?" she shrieked.

"No," I whimpered. _I fucking whimpered_. I hated it when she used my full name. I felt like I was being scolded by Mom. A shiver ran down my spine. _Fuck!_

"You had better not be." She giggled. _What? She was giggling now?_ I thought she was mad at me. I rolled my eyes. I had to get back to the reason for my call.

"So, when did you get into town?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Thursday night," she said. "I ran into Rosalie on Friday," I heard the smile in her voice.

"I know," I quipped. I heard her gasp into the phone and I smiled. "I saw both of you at _Lucid_ last night. I was there with Jasper. He couldn't take his eyes off of you." I snorted and then I heard a sharp intake of breath. I had to stifle the laughter that was building. I knew that they liked each other. Why didn't they just act on their feelings?

"You saw me?" she asked nervously.

"Yes. You were up at the stage with Rosalie and some other girl," I snickered, but my mind quickly wandered to the girl who had her arm laced in Alice's last night. I wondered who she was for about ten seconds. Wait, I didn't care who she was! _Come on now fucker, get your act together._

"Who? Bella?" She asked. So, that was her name. Hmm...

"I don't care who she is. I just saw you at the club that's all," I scoffed disinterest.

"Edward, don't be such an ass," she said. "It wasn't like I was going to set you up with her," she laughed. I remembered that laugh and I suddenly got nervous. Damn wicked, fucking, conniving pixie.

"Ha ha, very funny shorty," I said, trying to distract her. "So, what are you doing today?"

"Nothing much. I am almost ready for when classes start, why?" she asked, her interest piqued.

I sighed. "No reason - just wondering."

"Oh," she whispered, sounding hurt.

"I'm kidding, sis." I laughed. "Do you want to go get some lunch?"

"Sure, what time? Do you want to meet somewhere?" she asked enthusiastically.

"How about one-thirty? We can meet up at the commons," I said looking at Jasper's clock. I went to the mirror. _Maybe I should freshen up before I see her? Nah! _I hated shaving anyway.

"Okay, I'll see you then," she said excitedly.

I laughed. "All right, short stuff, bye."

"Bye!" she squealed as she hung up.

I started to feel nervous again for some reason. I wasn't sure why: she was my sister for Christ's sake.

After I hung up with Alice, I glanced back at the clock: eleven-thirty. I wasn't going to shave, but I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I hadn't changed the clothes I was wearing since yesterday, _gross!_ I threw on a pair of dark jeans and one of my band shirts then looked in the mirror. I looked okay, I guess.

**~*MoTH*~**

It was one-forty-five when I left my room to meet up with Alice. As I walked to the commons, the area wasn't too packed with people. Most of them were in the quad and housing part getting checked-in. I still wasn't comfortable around lots of people yet, so I walked with my head down and my hands in my pockets. It was my 'leave me alone' stance.

I got to the commons a few minutes early. I didn't see Alice and I panicked a little: maybe she wasn't coming. I deserved it; I did treat her like shit for most of the year. I looked around again then I saw her. My heart stopped for a second. My little sis walked through the buildings and looked around. _Is she searching for me?_ I waved to get her attention. She saw me and a huge smile broke across her face. She ran toward me. When she got to me, she jumped in my arms. Man, I had missed her. I held her tightly, I didn't want to let her go, but I had to.

I pulled back to look at her. Her hair was a bit shorter, but it had always been short and spiky. I looked at her face and then into her eyes; they were glassy, like she was on the verge of tears. She must have seen the same in mine because her eyebrows creased.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you," I said as my voice cracked.

The smile that disappeared for a moment was back on her lips again, "It's okay, Edward. I'm here now," she cooed, running her hands through my hair playfully.

I grinned. _I was such a schmuck._ "You ready to eat?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" she exclaimed.

I had to laugh. "Let's go, then."

We spent the time catching up. I felt like a stranger as I listened to her talk about things that had happened to our family over the summer. Alice had received a full scholarship for the design program. Although she didn't need it, she was excited about being awarded it though. I congratulated her and she beamed.

I found out my mother had started her own interior design company. I couldn't believe it! My mother was awesome when it came to designing homes and offices. She was always re-arranging things at home and she gave decorating advice to people about to set up their homes. I was so happy for her.

My father became chief of staff at the hospital. He still hung around the ER although. That had always been his life's blood. Other than his family, he lived and breathed the ER. He always felt that he could do the most good with patients there. He still performed surgeries and practiced other avenues of medicine, but he always found himself back there.

Hearing about all this from Alice instead of seeing it for myself made me die inside a little. My stupid pride had kept me from my family and all of their accomplishments. _Damn!_ I could feel the tears invading my eyes, but I kept them at bay. I didn't want to worry Alice. I allowed her words to wash over me. I watched the images dance around in my mind. My attention snapped back into the present when she mentioned the club from last night. She told me about Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett was arriving tonight. He and Rosalie were sharing an apartment off campus. I guess their relationship was more serious than I remembered.

Then Alice began to talk about the roommate she had this year. She was the girl from the club. She was so animated when she talked about her. She told me she found out that Bella went to the same high school we did. Funny, I didn't remember a girl named Bella who went to school there. Then again, I was much too into Tanya to care about anyone else. Her father, Charlie Swan, was the chief of police. I knew all about Chief Swan. I had a few run-ins with him when I was younger, nothing bad, just stupid misdemeanors. But after my break-up with Tanya, he caught me speeding a few times. I was trying to drive out my frustration and anger. I didn't know he had a daughter, though it wasn't something I cared to know about at the time. I was angry and my heart was broken. Alice continued to talk, and I only half listened because my mind was dragging me back to the darkness that had claimed me back then.

I looked at Alice. I could see her lips moving but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

She finally waved her hands in front of my face, yelling, "Edward? Edward?" As she tried to get my attention her brow furrowed.

"What did you say?" I looked at her, struggling to clear the haze in my mind.

"Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, sorry, I just kind of went to a bad place for a moment. I didn't mean to do that," I sighed and looked away. "Can we call it a day, sis?"

"Um, yeah sure," she said looking worried, and she placed her hand over mine. "Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine, I just need to get my shit together that's all," I said angrily, but it wasn't directed at her. I was disgusted with myself. I needed to calm down because my sister wasn't going to let that fly. "Besides, Jasper and I need to get ready for classes on Monday. We are going to spend Sunday finishing setting up the room, and get all our stuff together for each class." That was such a low blow, using Jasper like that. I snuck a peek at her and she was blushing. One mention of his name and her body betrayed her. I wanted to laugh my ass off; she had it so fucking bad!

"Um…ye-yeah…o-okay," she stuttered, barely able to get it all out. This time I did laugh. She looked at me and scowled. I kept laughing until I had tears falling down my cheeks. I grabbed her hand as we got up from the table and I held it as we made our way back to the commons.

"See ya later, shorty," I said as I pulled her into a hug.

"Don't be a stranger, bro." She said and I nodded once before turning around and walking towards my dorm building.

**~*MoTH*~**

Sunday passed quite easily. Jasper and I had managed to get through everything that needed to be done, listening to music all the while. God, how I missed playing music. We went to bed a little after eleven that night. Even as we lay in bed we stayed up talking about nothing. It was kind of nice.

Later that night, I jumped up in bed screaming from a nightmare I had. Obviously Jasper was dead to the world because he didn't move. I glanced over at the clock – five- fifteen in the freaking morning. _FUCK ME!_ Please, not tonight. I've got class in less than four fucking hours. I went to the kitchenette to get a drink of water. _This was a fucking joke. Why did these have to start again? Because I was going crazy._ There was no doubt in my mind - I was losing it. It had been a couple months since I had had them, but they weren't this bad.

I leaned against the wall and sipped my water. I looked down at the glass and the water had ripples running through it. Then I looked at my hand, it was shaking. _What the fuck was going on?_

I slammed the glass down on the counter and walked back to bed. I sat down on the edge of the bed; I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I had to find a way to slow my heart rate down as I felt the trembling course through my body. I slowed my breathing down, trying to relax my body. After about ten minutes, the trembling stopped. I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, tugging at it lightly. I took in one final deep breath and exhaled before I lay back down in my bed; thirty minutes later, I was asleep.

**~*XXX*~**

The fucking blaring sound of my alarm clock was not a welcoming noise that morning. I slammed my hand on it to get it to stop. It didn't stop until I threw it on the floor and I smiled. Jasper shot up in his bed, almost falling out onto the floor. I laughed. _Oh now he moves! _What a fucking way to being my first day of classes_._

_**~*Twilightgirl224**_


	4. Chapter 4  A Fresh Start

_**In this chapter Bella moves up to Seattle to go to college. She meets Alice, who is her roommate. She also meets Rosalie, Alice's best friend. They learn that each other went to the same high school. Bella is introduced to Alice's brother, Edward - not face to face, but she can't get over his picture. She learned a little bit about him, but only what she hears from a one-sided conversation. She is surprised by her reactions!**_

_**Thanks to the PTB Beta team who reviewed this chapter and also my second permanent Beta was found: itsange ;) and furiouskitten; and to Woodlily who reviewed it again! **_

Chapter 4 ~A Fresh Start

BPOV

I arrived on campus on Thursday afternoon. I wanted to make sure that everything was settled before classes before classes started on Monday. My parents drove up with me so they could help me move my things into the dorm; I drove my truck while my parents used Billy's truck. I really didn't have much, but the boxes took up a lot of space.

I felt so small, insignificant compared to the size of the campus. _I don't think I'm ready for this._ I felt a sharp pain shoot through my bottom lip; I hadn't even realized I was biting it. It was a habit of mine when I got nervous. I rolled my eyes. _Get a grip, Swan!_ I dug through my stuff and found the campus map so I could find my way to freshman registration and orientation then to housing check-in. Luckily, there were plenty of signs placed around the Campus to keep me from getting lost.

I found the tables set up in the quad area for registration. There weren't that many people on campus considering that the official check-in time would begin the next day. Of course the tables were set up alphabetically by last name. I snorted. _It's_ _just like high school._ My parents caught up with me to help. They wanted to make sure I got everything I needed.

I signed in and received a copy of my class schedule. I also got a packet of information about the school and other school-related activities. Then we made our way over to the housing check-in area. After a short wait, I signed the housing agreement and was given a key to my room. The assistant advised me to take advantage of the small amount of students here right now and go get my student ID. _Ugh!_ I hated having my picture taken, but I needed to get it over with before there were a bunch of other students around.

My parents accompanied me to the main office building. We followed the signs and arrows pointing us in the direction of the ID office. As soon as I walked in, my face fell. It seemed like the other students already on campus had the same idea and were all stuck in this room. I sighed and looked over at my parents, who shrugged and snickered at my expense. They knew my aversion to pictures, or for that matter anything that could potentially make me the center of attention. My mother winked at me and put her arm around my shoulders.

I felt my nervousness begin to subside a bit. I took a deep, long breath and slowly let it out. After about fifteen minutes, I finally made it up to the counter. I was greeted by the smiling face of the office assistant working the camera; she wasn't much older than me. She must have sensed my uneasiness because she tried her best to get me to smile, but that wasn't going to happen. I looked at the picture when I got my ID card and I rolled my eyes. _Great!_ _I look like a deer caught in headlights_. I quickly shoved it into my back pocket and hoped to God I'd never have to use it. _Yeah, right!_ I scowled at the thought. My parents took one look at my expression and started laughing. _Damn them._

**~*MoTH*~**

We ended up at my dorm room shortly after I got my ID. I put the key in the door and opened it slowly. I had no idea what I was expecting, but when I walked in I was a little taken aback a bit. The room was not that much bigger than two of my old rooms put together. How are two strangers supposed to live and share a room together for a year? There was no "personal" space. This was going to be interesting.

I slowly walked into the middle of the room and did a complete three-sixty; taking a quick a quick survey of the room. The walls were stark white. There was one twin bed on each side, a small kitchenette off to the right and a very small bathroom on the left. There were two student desks behind the beds flushed up against the walls, and a closet, if you could call it that, next to the bathroom. There wasn't much "living" space. We would have to make do with what was here.

I was fretting about what my roommate was going to be like. What would she want to do with the room? I looked back over to where the kitchenette was. There was a small fridge and two small burners. At least there was a way for me to cook. The best way to describe the room would be to compare it to a very small studio apartment, but made for two.

My parents and I began to unload both trucks, and we piled everything in the center of the room as we went along. After a while I looked over at them; they looked as exhausted as I felt.

"You want to take a break?" I asked them.

"Yeah," my mother spoke up. "You want to go get something to eat?"

"Sounds good to me. Dad?" I looked at my father.

"Sure. I'm starving actually," he said with a smirk. _Dork._ Mom and I both laughed at him.

I turned away from the job I knew I had to work on later. I grabbed my bag and we left. We decided to take Billy's truck, which was a good thing because mine would have been a little uncomfortable. We would have been on top of each other in the seat.

"So what does everyone feel like for dinner?" Mom asked.

I looked at her. "Doesn't matter to me," I said nonchalantly. My dad glanced over to my mom and then he looked into the rearview mirror at me and grinned.

"How about Italian?" he asked. He knew my weakness for Italian food.

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Okay, works for me."

"Same here," Mom said in agreement.

We drove around the University District for a bit. We began to head down 45th Street and came up to a place called _Ciao Bella, _an Italian restaurant. I rolled my eyes and laughed lightly. _How freaking appropriate_. Dad parked the truck and we headed into the restaurant. The waitress sat us in a booth. Mom scooted next to me and Dad sat across from us.

"So are you excited, Bella?" Dad asked after about five minutes of awkward silence.

"What…about school?" I asked.

"Yes." He chuckled.

"Yeah…kind of," I said quietly as I looked down at my hands. "I'm more nervous, but also kind of excited."

My mom grasped my hand. "Why are you nervous, baby?" she asked, concerned.

"Because I'll be here all by myself," I whimpered, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh, honey, we are only a phone call away and your father is just a few hours' drive from here," Mom cooed as she brushed my hair back behind my ear.

"I know," I said meekly. "I'll be fine after a few days, once I start classes and get a routine down."

"Of course you will, Bells. Isn't that supposed to be all part of the college experience?" Dad asked teasingly. I snorted.

"What?" he huffed, looking puzzled.

Both my mom and I burst out laughing. "Nothing," we said in unison.

He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest with a "hrmph." We doubled over laughing. _I so needed that_. A little of the nervousness eased out of my body. We sat there eating and talking about what courses I was taking, and what my possible plans would be during the winter break. I advised them I would have to play it by ear given class assignments, finals, or whether or not I was working.

If I found a job that semester, I might not be able to make it home. The thought of that made me sad. If I didn't have to work, I would end up at Charlie's place. When I mentioned that, a big grin swept across my father's face, and I knew the reason why. He knew if I was going to be home, I would take care of the holiday meal.

After a couple hours, I told them that I needed to get back to the dorm so I could finish unpacking. The drive back to campus was silent. I knew my parents were going to have to leave me tonight, and I was going to spend my first night at college by myself. My eyes began to tear up. I turned my head to look out the window and gazed at the scenery as we passed by. My nerves began to rattle a bit thinking of the pending separation, but I knew this was part of life and I would have to get used to it.

We arrived back on campus, and my parents followed me to my room. Once we got inside, I looked at the pile of boxes in the middle of the room. _Ugh! I am not looking forward to this. _ I slowly moved to the middle of the room and ran my hand across the first box I saw. I opened it and looked inside; it was all my bedding. I took it out and tossed it on my bed. _Good, one box down._ I continued to open the boxes and put the contents in their corresponding areas. After about an hour, the boxes were empty and my things just needed to be organized and put away. It was about seven when my father looked down at his watch.

"Hey, Bells, I think it's time for us to head out." He looked up at me, his eyes showing a touch of pain.

"I know," I whispered. "I'm glad you guys were able to help me out and get me moved in here."

"Anytime, baby," my mother said. "You know that!"

I tried to feign a smile, but she could always see right through me.

"Everything is going to be okay, Bella," she said. She gave me a big hug, and I felt myself holding on to her tighter.

A tear escaped and fell onto her shoulder. Good thing my dad didn't see that; he was already uncomfortable as it was. I let my mom go and looked at my dad. I wondered if I should give him a hug. He answered my unspoken thought by opening up his arms for me, and I leapt into them.

"I'm going to miss you, Bells. Try to make it home for Thanksgiving," he said, his voice cracking.

"I will, Dad," I said when I pulled away from him. I looked at both of them. "I love you both."

"We love you too," they both said at the same time and I couldn't help but laugh. I watched as they turned and walked out the door. I slept alone for the first time in my life without the security of knowing someone was down the hall. I tossed and turned all night.

**~*MoTH*~**

I groaned when I looked over at the clock. It was eight. _What the hell!_ _Seriously?_ I dragged myself out of bed, took a shower and got dressed. I picked up some of the things I had left last night and put them away. It was around noon when the door to the room suddenly opened, and I about jumped out of my skin. I knew to expect it, but it just took me by surprise.

In walked this tiny girl, smaller than me, even. She had short, spiky black hair and bright blue eyes. She took one look at me and a huge smile broke out across her lips. Behind her followed a young-looking woman with deep bronze hair and green eyes, and a young-looking gentleman with blonder hair and blue eyes, whom I assumed to be her parents. They introduced themselves to me as Esme and Carlisle Cullen, and the little ball of energy was their daughter, Alice. _This is going to be very interesting,_ I thought to myself.

As if she was answering my unspoken thought, Alice chimed in. "We are going to have so much fun!" she squealed, her face beaming as she jumped up and down. _Oh yeah! Fun!_ I thought sarcastically.

I helped Alice where I could, or actually, where she would let me. She told me she liked handling it all herself. I watched while she worked. Every now and then she would start humming or singing to herself. When she would sing, in a high-pitched tone, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. She was very meticulous when she was putting things away or setting them up on her side of the room. Her section of the closet was colored coded and set by designer.

She told me that she was majoring in fashion. Well, that explained all the name brand clothes, shoes, and bags. The shoes that she wasn't able to place in the closet - and she had tons - she placed under her bed in a storage container. When she was done with the closet, I self-consciously looked over at my section. My things consisted of nothing but jeans, t-shirts, Chucks, and flats.

While Alice was organizing up her desk, she set her pictures out. I assumed they were of her family, but my eyes shot directly to the one where she was standing with two other guys. She was standing in between the both of them; she looked so small next to them. The bigger of the two guys was on her right, and he was BIG! He had short black hair and blue eyes. He was very muscular, kind of goofy looking, but cute. He was smiling in the picture, and I could make out the dimples on his cheeks. _Too cute!_

My eyes made their way to the other guy in the picture. I couldn't stop staring. He was the most amazingly gorgeous guy that I have ever laid eyes on. He was tall. He had beautiful bronze colored hair. It was messy but sexy. It was what I would call the "just fucked look," yum! His chiseled cheeks and jaw were picture perfect. He had a little bit of scruff growing on his chin. _What I wouldn't do to run my fingers through that!_ _OH MY GOD!_ _What am I thinking? Where the hell did these thoughts come from? I don't even know him. I shouldn't even be thing like this. Oh, but I can dream! *sigh*_

I moved closer to the picture and stared into his eyes. They were bright emerald green. He must have gotten them from Esme, but her eyes were a different shade of green. I could totally get lost in those eyes. _STOP!_ I gave myself a mental slap. _You need to get a grip._ I hadn't realized that I sighed outwardly again until I heard Alice giggling softly next to me.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said, embarrassed. I felt the heat coming off my cheeks.

"It's all right." She snickered. "Those are my brothers." She pointed to each, giving me their names. "This is Emmett." She pointed to the one on the right. "And this is Edward." She motioned to the one on the left.

"They look nice," I said while I stared at Edward.

"Yeah, they are, and they're very protective of who they care for," she said with pride. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No," I said, suddenly looking down. "I always wanted them, but my parents divorced when I was younger and I was their only child."

"That bites. I don't know what I would do without my brothers," she said with a shudder at the end of her statement. _What was that about?_

"Yeah, but my best friend back home was kind of like my brother. He was there almost all my life," I said and my voice was wavered a bit. I missed him so much. "Well…at least he was until earlier this year," I said with a sigh.

"What happened?" Her brows furrowed. "Something bad?"

"It's a confusing situation, more of a misunderstanding, and he didn't take it very well," I said as a lonely tear rolled down my cheek.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she said quickly, getting up to give me a hug. I was a little shocked.

"It's all right." I hugged her back, still a little shocked. _She doesn't know me_. We had only met two hours ago, but she made me feel like I could talk to her, so I did.

"We haven't spoken since New Year's," I sniffled. "I can't change anything that happened, but I had hoped he and I could have worked through it. But he didn't even want to try."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking," she asked. But she looked like she still wanted to comfort me.

I huffed. "Jacob, that's his name, told me that he was in love with me." I was still a little miffed remembering that night.

"And you didn't feel the same way?" she asked looking me directly in the eyes.

"No, he is like a brother to me, like I said. I never thought of him in any other way," I said, annoyed. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Really?" she asked in amazement.

"Yeah, why do you look so surprised?" I asked incredulously.

"Nothing," she said with a wicked smile that threw me back. "You just don't act like the 'typical' girl." _Wait? WHAT? What is that supposed to mean?_ I stared at her a little flustered.

"Wh-What do you mean by typical? You don't know me!" I stammered.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I meant that as a compliment, honestly." She seemed hurt by my statement. "You are different, in a good way. You have this aura about you. Nothing like the other people I used to know. I used to go to school with a girl named Jessica Stanley…" Her voice trailed off when she saw my reaction.

My eyes had widened and my eyebrows shot up in surprise. She was talking about my friend. She continued, "She had this thing for my brother but when he wouldn't give her the time of day, she tried to get her hooks into a guy named Mike Newton…" She looked up at my expression and her voice trailed off again, but she didn't continue this time.

"Mike Newton? I knew him. I went to school with him and Jessica Stanley. Jessica definitely had some issues." I laughed.

"Wait! You went to Forks High School?" she asked, surprised by my statement.

"Yeah, I showed up toward the end of my junior year," I said, still laughing.

"I went there too! So you were in my graduating class…" She stopped talking when she saw the confused yet amazed look on my face.

"Wait! Hold on! Cullen…oh my God!" I exclaimed. "You were in my biology class during my junior year and then in my English class during my senior year," I said, looking at her. "Man, I used to watch you guys at lunch all the time." I blushed big time after I made that remark.

"I can't believe I said that. I'm so embarrassed!" I hid my face in my hands.

"It's all right, girl. Most people watched us. We kind of stood out from the rest of the population. My parents have money. We dressed very well and we mostly kept to ourselves," she said matter-of-factly.

"I just didn't want you to think I'm some kind of freak or crazy stalker," I laughed nervously.

"Nah, it's all good," she said, touching my hand. "Though I kind of wish I met you in high school. You are my kind of people. I think we could have been best friends back then." She winked at me and I giggled.

I snorted, thinking back on the way I was back then. "I highly doubt it. I am a shy person and such a klutz, and you…are you. I used to hang out with Angela, Jessica, Mike, Eric, and Tyler when I was in school."

"Wow, really? How did you handle Jessica?" she asked, a smile dancing on her lips.

I couldn't help but laugh because I knew where she was heading with this. "I didn't really do anything. I just let her be herself. She _was_ one crazy person, and she always acted like she was better than everyone. When she tried to get with Mike, he kind of put her in her place."

I remembered the day he told her that he would never be interested in her while she was so into herself and treated everyone else like they were garbage. "It was hilarious but frightening because he basically told her that she had to be more like me before he would even give her the time of day," I said, laughing.

Alice doubled over with laughter. "Seriously? I wish I could have seen her face!"

I laughed harder, barely able to respond. "Priceless…is all I'm saying!" Tears welled up in both our eyes from laughter.

We both continued to laugh at Jessica's expense. Oh well, it was all her fault anyhow; she brought it all on herself. I never really liked her. When we finally caught our breath and wiped the tears that had fallen from our eyes, we decided to finish getting Alice unpacked. When we were done, Alice asked if I wanted to go with her to a club. I had never really been out before. There was never really anything to do in Forks except for going to La Push and to visit Jake. I needed to try new things. After hesitating for a moment, I agreed. Alice told me to go shower and change because it would take her a while to get ready. I laughed and headed off to the bathroom.

It took me all of thirty minutes to shower, change and make myself somewhat presentable. Alice saw me and grimaced a little. When I told her this was all I had, she laughed and said we would work on that. What did she mean by that? She whole -heartedly insisted on doing my hair and make-up, but I glared at her and told her no way. Who did she think she is? She said okay...for now. Again, I had no idea what she meant by that.

We were dressed and ready to go about an hour after Alice was finished getting herself together. I offered to drive, but she said no way, she liked driving her car. We walked to the parking lot and stopped in front of a yellow sports car - a Porsche. My jaw dropped and Alice started giggling.

"You like?" she asked.

"Um, th-this is yours?" I asked, stunned almost speechless.

"Yeah, I got this for graduation. My parents gave it to me. I totally love it!" she squealed, beaming with excitement. Good thing we didn't take my truck. _I'm in __**way**__ over my head. Sigh!_

We ended up at a place called _Lucid_. It was a club that played live music. Alice's friend, Rosalie, met us there. When she walked up to us, my breath got stuck in my throat. She was drop dead gorgeous. She was blonde and had curves in all the right places. She could be a supermodel. I knew I was definitely in way over my head. These people were beautiful and I was me…just plain Bella. I really needed to quit while I was ahead. I tried to stand a few feet away from Alice and Rosalie, but Alice would have none of that. She wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me toward her. I looked at her confusedly. She looked back at me and shook her head like she knew what I was doing. I huffed and turned back to the stage to listen to the music.

While we listened to the band play, Alice asked Rosalie about her brother Emmett. I looked at her with confusion on my face. Alice laughed and said Rosalie was dating Emmett. Then out of the blue, Alice told Rosalie that I might be a good match for Edward. I froze immediately in my spot. I felt the heat rising in my body and my jaw was literally on the floor. _That is so not going to happen_.

I shook my head nervously. The look on my face hopefully conveyed "Are you fucking serious?" and I didn't swear _that_ often. She just laughed at me. I could not even begin to think where that notion came from. I was not in the same league as them, not even remotely close. _Ugh!_ She was so exasperating. I flat out told her not to even think about it.

"Why not?" she asked angrily and that surprised me. "You couldn't stop looking at his picture earlier today!"

I knew my face at that moment changed to the brightest red known to man. _I can't believe she said that._ _How could she do that to me?_ _What is wrong with her? I'm gonna kill her…slowly. _ While I continued with my internal dialogue, I heard giggling that quickly turned into full out wanting-to-roll-on-the-floor-laughter. I turned to stare at Alice then to Rosalie. She had tears streaming down her face. I turned to storm off, but Alice caught my arm before I even moved an inch.

"Aw come on, girl. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you like that, but I truly think you would be great for my brother. He went through some stuff about six months ago, and he hasn't quite recovered," she said as a frown formed on her face.

I scoffed, "I don't want to be a rebound girl for anyone." I glared at her.

"You wouldn't be. He's been alone since Valentine's," she said quickly. I looked at her, perplexed. She shook her and said, "Long story and it's not mine to tell."

"Okay." I shrugged. "I honestly don't think it's a good idea, Alice," I muttered as I looked down at my hands.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" I huffed, waving my arms in the air.

"Um, obviously not!" she said, and I heard the anger in her voice seeping though again.

"I'm nowhere in the same league as you guys. You are all beautiful and gorgeous. I'm just me…nothing special, just plain Isabella Swan," I said in surrender, trying to get my point across to her. She wasn't buying it.

She snickered. "Ha! You don't see yourself clearly, do you?" She looked at me in amazement.

"I'm glad I can amuse you. Can we please talk about this later?" I begged her.

"Fine, but I'm not giving up on you two!" she sang.

I sighed and asked if we could head back to the dorm room. She agreed and asked Rosalie if she wanted to join us. She rolled her eyes but agreed. We ended up back at the room in less than twenty minutes and stayed up talking until about three in the morning. We talked about our classes for this semester and what we wanted to do after we graduated. Rosalie talked about Emmett - Alice's brother - her boyfriend. Alice talked about a guy that she liked and Rosalie snorted at a couple statements she made. When they were finished they both looked at me to contribute to the conversation but I just shrugged nonchalantly. _Like I had anything to say. _*sigh*

**~*MoTH*~**

Alice was up at nine. God, she had more energy than I knew one person could have. She got up, showered, and got dressed - I mean dressed as in a nice designer outfit and hair and make-up done. It was like she was prepared to go shopping on Rodeo drive, but in Seattle. Wow! Rosalie left while Alice was in the shower. When Alice was done, she grabbed a granola bar and some orange juice for breakfast. Her cell phone went off around ten thirty. She looked at her phone and gasped. She just stared at the phone for a few seconds before she answered it.

"Edward?" She answered it with a confused tone.

He must have said something seriously wrong because she flew back at him with a vengeance. "Edward, don't take that tone with me. You are the one who shut yourself off from everyone, including me!" she all but screamed into the phone. I looked at her nervously. She was seriously pissed. _What did he say?_

"Oh, Edward," she said with a touch of pain. _Now what?_ That was a complete one-eighty. "I missed you too," she said, sniffling. I got up out of bed and handed her some tissues. She mouthed, "thank you"_,_ before turning her attention back to the phone, tears falling from her cheeks.

"I'm here, sorry. I didn't mean to cry. I…I…um, I just haven't talked to you in so long. Her voice wavered, but she had calmed down a bit.

"Edward," she called into the phone. "Are you there?" She was getting nervous, and she took a deep breath. "This wasn't your fault. You just allowed it to consume you." _What the hell was she talking about? What could possibly have happened to him? Who could have hurt that beautiful man?_

Alice continued. "You should have let your family help you through your issues. That's what we are here for," she said as her voice started to waver again. A couple of tears escaped her eyes. She mouthed, "sorry", over to me. I waved her off mouthing, "It's okay."

She turned back to the phone. "Edward, calm down. Look, I know she hurt you..." I stopped listening the moment I heard the words, "she hurt you"_. _I saw red!My breath hitched and my heart started pounding. This reaction was new, and it was scaring the crap out of me. No one had ever gotten this kind of reaction out of me. I didn't even know him, but I had an overwhelming desire…no need, to protect him. I tried to bring myself back to hear what she was saying.

"Stop saying that!" She sounded pissed again. "Just get your shit together," she yelled as she slammed her hand down on the bed. _Wow! I wouldn't want to cross her any time_. I heard him again - not what he was saying, just his voice. He was yelling again. Alice's eyes widened and her body was shaking with anger.

"Edward. Anthony. Cullen. Are you fucking laughing at me now?" she shrieked. _Can I say, Holy s…crap?_ I was shocked. I would never have imagined this coming out of the little ball of energy I met yesterday.

He must have done or said something because her demeanor changed quickly and she started giggling. "You better not be." _Whoa!_ This was seriously fun to listen to, but scary at the same time. I got up to wash my face and get dressed. While I tried to scare up some breakfast, I heard Alice say my name. I turned to answer her, but she was still on the phone. I gave her a confused/questioning look, but she just waved me off.

She began to talk again. "Edward, don't be such an ass," she said sarcastically. "It wasn't like I was going to set you up with her." She was laughing, but I stared at her wide-eyed, and I knew my jaw was located on the floor. My heart was in my stomach. She looked at me and started laughing even harder. I mouthed, "Why did you say that?" but she just shook her head.

"Nothing. I'm pretty much ready for classes, why?" she asked, sounding confused.

"Oh!" she gasped. What was he saying to her? Was it about me? Of course it wasn't. _Where the hell did that notion come from? _I growled and slapped myself inwardly. _Get a grip, girl._

I heard her make plans to meet up with him later. When she hung up I stared her down, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Oh, Bella, lighten up, girl," she said as she walked over and put her hands on my shoulders. "I was just playing around with him." But something in her eyes told me differently. There was a wicked gleam shining in those baby blues. She reminded me of a fairy. An evil damn conniving fairy.

She left a couple hours later, so I decided to relax. Classes would begin on Monday and I wanted to be rested so I wouldn't drag along this week. So I made Saturday and Sunday my days of rest. I pulled out my worn copy of _Wuthering Heights_ from my desk drawer and curled up in bed. I loved that book; I could read it a million times over, though I probably knew it by heart now.

**~*MoTH*~**

I sleepily turned over and looked at the clock. _Oh my God_. It was five o'clock. _I can't believe I fell asleep. _

I heard my stomach growl about five minutes later. I needed to grab something to eat. I decided to freshen up and change out of my wrinkled clothes. I headed out on campus to see what was open. As I walked toward the commons, I saw Alice with some guy. When I took a closer look, I realized that it was Edward. _Oh my God._ He was stunning; so much better looking in person. That picture didn't even do him justice. My heart was pounding in my ears. I continued to walk towards Alice as Edward was giving her a hug and then walked away with his hands in his pockets and head down.

I looked at her, and she gave me a smile that didn't seem to reach her eyes. I continued to make my way over to her, letting my heart rate slowly return to normal as Edward walked away. _Damn that stupid organ_.

When I got to her, she still seemed down. "Is everything okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah, everything is good. It was so nice to hang out and talk with my brother. It's been so long," she said as tears filled her eyes but didn't fall. "He still has some issues to work through, but I think he's going to be fine," she said and her eyes started to gleam.

It was the same look earlier, and I started to get nervous again. I was beginning to learn what these different expressions of hers meant. She looked at my appearance and began to laugh.

"What?" I asked, breathlessly.

"Nothing!" she quipped.

"Yeah, right." I stared at her. "Look, I'm going to get something to eat, you wanna come with me?"

"Sure." She grinned.

We found a little deli nearby. I ordered a sandwich and Alice ordered a slice of cheesecake. After we ate and talked, we headed back to our room. We went to bed around eleven that night. I read a little more of my book and Alice listened to her iPod.

Sunday was supposed to be a lazy day, but it wasn't too bad. Alice spent hours trying to find the "perfect" outfit for her classes the next day. I just watched in amazement. When she was done, I decided to get all my books and supplies organized for each class. My first class was at nine. I found out that Alice was in the same class as me. I was actually excited about that; at least I would have someone I knew with me. We were both ready for Monday's classes but were too hyper and excited to go to sleep. We stayed up a bit and just talked more about our families and our time at Forks High School. We laughed at all the ridiculousness of everyone there.

I told her there was only person that I ever considered a true friend: Angela Weber. She told me that she could see that about her. She said that she seemed like she had a good heart, and I totally agreed. After a while, we finally got tired enough to go to sleep.

**~*MoTH*~**

Alice's alarm went off at seven and we both groaned. I couldn't help but snicker about that. I got out of bed first and took a shower. As soon as I finished, Alice jumped up and got in the shower. While she was in there, I got dressed and started fixing up some cereal. When she came out of the bathroom, she stopped in her tracks and looked me up and down.

"What?" I squeaked, starting to feel very self-conscious. "Is something wrong?"

"Are you seriously going to wear that?" She grimaced and I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. Her lips moved into a pout so I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Uh, yeah. Not everyone has access to Versace, Michael Kors, and Dolce & Gabbana on a whim," I scoffed as I pointed to her side of the closet.

"Let me give you a shirt to wear at least, please. You're killing me here. You are my roommate and I am a fashion major," she whined.

"NO!" I scowled.

"Please!" she cried and her mouth turned into a full on pout. I growled. _This is so not fair. How can I say no to her now?_

"Fine!" I said, annoyed.

She clapped her hands together and squealed, "Yeah! Thank you!" She was so excited, and I rolled my eyes again. She went to her closet and pulled out this deep royal blue silk shirt. It flowed when it moved. It was gorgeous, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I took the shirt from her and laid it on my bed. I pulled mine off and tossed it over my chair. I pulled her shirt over my head and felt the silk slide down over my body. I totally missed my shirt. This was so not me. I looked up at Alice and she was beaming.

"You look great. Okay, let's hit it before we are late to our first class," she said as she grabbed her purse and bag. I grabbed my bag and we headed out the door.

"Let's go!" we both said as we let the door close behind us.

_**~*Twilightgirl224**_


	5. Chapter 5 Fighting the Demons

C/N: _**This is where Edward officially meets Bella. He is still resentful of his past, he is still feels the pain it caused. It's the first day of classes and he learns that he will be sharing class not only with his sister Alice, but with Bella.**_

_**You can visit me on my facebook page for this story and chat with fellow readers **_

http:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/groups/152421278164462?ap=1

_**Much love to my two wonderful betas for helping me with my story: Woodlily and itsange.**_

Chapter 5

EPOV

I got out of bed and stumbled my way to the bathroom, still not quite awake yet. It had definitely been a fucked up night; I hadn't gotten much sleep. The damn nightmares were back, but I couldn't help but laugh when I remembered Jasper's reaction when I 'killed' the alarm clock this morning. Normally, Jasper slept like the dead. That was a good thing because this nightmare bullshit was embarrassing enough without someone else knowing about it. I made it to the bathroom and took a good look at myself in the mirror. _God, I look like shit_. _I have a feeling this is going to be a long day. _ I undressed and jumped in the shower; letting the hot water ease the tension from my muscles.

I looked over at Jasper when I stepped out of the bathroom and snorted; he'd fallen back to sleep. I went over to my closet to pull out what I was going to wear and tossed the clothes on my bed, then I wandered over to the kitchenette to make some coffee. Jasper began to stir the moment it started to brew.

"Damn, dude," he said groggily, rubbing his hands over his face. "That smells good. Can you make enough for me too?"

"Yeah, man, there's enough here. What time is your first class?" I asked as I grabbed two mugs.

"Ten. You?"

"Nine…I have English and a writing class during the day, and then the lab for the English class tonight," I said while I got the cream and sugar ready.

"Sounds boring." He snickered. I turned and glared at him. His eyes widened in surprise and he put his hands up. "Whoa, just kidding dude. Chill out."

I growled, "Fucker."

"Shut up," he laughed. "I know you like all that writing shit."

I shrugged. "Yeah, _actually _I do. It used to help me with my music."

"Well, hopefully these classes will help get your creative juices flowing again. We've missed you at the jam sessions, and we are kind of running out of material to play. We've had to continue to play all of our old stuff," he said accusingly, but there was a smirk playing at his lips.

I sighed. "I know man…I'm sorry about that. I know I was being a dick and shut everyone out when that shit with Tanya happened…" My voice cracked. _God, I sound like a fucking moron_.

He walked over to me. "Man, don't go there. No one blames you for that. We all know what happened. It's just not like you to shut us out. We were all waiting for you to come to us, but you never did. I'm your best friend, and honestly, I thought that even if you couldn't talk to your family, you'd at least come talk to me." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Better late than never, I always say," he added with the goofiest grin ever.

I snorted. "Thanks, Jazz."

I cleared my throat. "Alright, let me go before I'm late for my first day of class." I walked past Jasper and grabbed my bag. "I'll catch ya later."

**~*MoTH*~**

I made my way to the commons with my head down so I wouldn't have to make eye contact with anyone. I still wasn't ready to socialize with anyone. I was such a fuckin' pussy, but I had my reasons.

I was almost at the English building. I seriously hoped the professor was going to be better than the one I had last year. I had been so bored in that class. There was no challenge to me because I already knew the topics she covered. The 'A' I received was not even deserved. So this semester I decided to try the Advanced English Comp II class. It was supposed to go hand-in-hand with the writing class I was also taking.

I finally made it to the classroom and scanned the room the moment I walked through the door; there were some empty desks in the far back corner: perfect. Hopefully there wouldn't be that many students in the class. I watched as students came traipsing into the room for the next ten minutes. Thankfully, they stayed far away from my area. I looked down at my book and decided to glance over the first chapter.

As soon as I opened my book, I heard a voice that I would recognize anywhere. _Oh no. _Her voice got louder and louder the closer she got to the classroom. _Please, please don't let her be in this class._ I glanced up at the door and in walked my little pixie of a sister. _Why didn't she tell me that she was taking this class too?_

She stopped to survey the room. When her eyes locked on mine a smile exploded across her lips. I noticed there was a girl standing next to her. She was just a bit taller than Alice and had long, curly mahogany hair. Alice turned to her and pointed in my direction. The girl looked over at me and I saw her eyes widen. She looked back at Alice and started shaking her head frantically.

Alice pulled her by the hand and started to walk over to my area. The girl kept trying to pull her hand back, and she was still shaking her head no. As she got closer, I noticed that there was a light blush on her cheeks. _Why the hell is she blushing?_ Inwardly I was laughing, but on the outside I was giving Alice the _death stare_. I knew she could be very manipulative. _Damn evil pixie_.

Alice, and the girl who was still locked in her death grip, found their way to a couple of empty desks near me. Alice sat in the one next to me, and the girl sat in the one in front of her. For some reason she started to look a little familiar. _Was she the one from the club?_

It was like Alice was reading my mind. "Edward, this is Bella, my roommate and friend." Bella turned around and the blush deepened. "Bella, this is my brother Edward."

She looked at me and squeaked out a "hello". I couldn't help but chuckle. Bella's face fell slightly and I instantly felt chagrined, but I didn't say anything. Alice slapped me. I turned to look at her and saw that she was glaring at me.

"What?" I asked, rubbing my arm. _That actually hurt_.

"Be nice," she spat.

I pretended to look confused. "What did I do?" I asked innocently, but Alice wasn't buying it.

She raised the volume of her voice. "Edward. Anthony. Cullen." It was my turn to look flustered. Twice in two days I was being scolded by _my_ sister. I lowered my head into my hands, rubbing them over my face. One of them began to rake through my hair.

I groaned. "Alice, I hate it when you do that!" Before I started a mini-temper-tantrum, I heard soft giggling coming from in front of me. It stopped immediately the moment I looked over at Bella.

"I…I'm sorry," she said nervously. "I didn't mean to laugh, but it's funny to watch the two of you."

"It's alright. Alice always brings out the worst in me," I said with a slight smile to show no harm, no foul. She started laughing when Alice slapped me, again.

"Go ahead, Edward. See if I ever talk to you again," she said sulkily. She scooted her desk away from mine with a huff, then she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. _God, the pouty guilt trip works every time. She knows how to make me cave. Evil, pure evil I say._

"Ahhh, come on lil' sis, you know that I love ya," I cooed, laughing at the same time I pulled her desk back toward me.

"Stop it!" she yelled and slapped me again. I started laughing harder and she finally joined in. Bella was watching the two of us. She was laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her cheeks. It was such a lovely sight. _Alright Cullen, don't even go there!_ I gave myself an internal bitch slap. I was so not gonna head down that road again. I shook my head to clear it.

I happened to look over at Alice, and she had a wicked gleam in her eyes. _Oh no!_ _I know that look. What the fuck is she up to?_ I narrowed my eyes at her. I told her silently, 'No fuckin' way. Don't even think about it!' She shrugged, but that grin of hers still lingered on her lips. _Damn evil pixie_.

The professor started the class, and the spotlight was finally taken off of us and all our craziness. Thank God this was just an introduction to the class. He went over the syllabus and what his expectations were. It all took about an hour, and then Professor Marcus dismissed us early, but told us to be prepared to start the class in full force on Wednesday. _Oh joy!_

Alice and Bella quickly jumped out of their seats and headed to the exit. When I caught up with them, I put my arm over Alice's shoulders. I caught the last bit of what Bella was saying to Alice about her next class. I didn't catch everything, but when she mentioned the name of her professor, my ears suddenly tuned in to the rest of the conversation.

"You're taking Advanced Writing with Professor Aro?" I asked, not quite looking directly at Bella.

"Yeah…today at one thirty. You know the class?" she asked, her curiosity kicking in.

"Kind of. That's my next class for the day," I said. I looked over at Bella and I'll be damned, she was blushing something fierce. _What is with this girl?_ _Why does she keep blushing? It's kind of cute. _My inner monologue was suddenly interrupted when I glanced over at Alice. Her grin had gotten a hundred times bigger and, that fucking gleam of hers was back in full force. _Oh hell no!_ That was my cue to leave.

"Hey, I'll catch ya later sis," I said quickly, still trying to be polite. I looked over at Bella and nodded. "Bella," I said before I turned and walked away. I would be damned if I let Alice get me involved in another one of her matchmaking schemes.

**~*MoTH*~**

Jasper's class wouldn't be over for another forty-five minutes, so I texted him to meet me at the dining hall for lunch. I was going to throw Jasper and Alice together. That would get her to stay the hell out of my personal life, well, my lack of personal life anyway. I knew what that look in Alice's eyes meant. I saw the wheels turning in her wannabe matchmaking mind. But damn it, I wasn't looking for another heartbreak. I refused to get involved with another girl. Hell, I'd sleep with them, but there would be no emotional connection to them, and if I didn't sleep with them, my hand would always do the trick. _Fuck women, literally and figuratively_.

I got to the dining hall, and grabbed a coffee and table. While I sat there waiting for Jasper to show up, my mind started to wander. I'm not sure why my mind decided to go there. It probably had something to do with the nightmare I had had last night, but it went there. _FUCK_! I hadn't really thought about what had happened that night for a couple of weeks. Just flashbacks every now and then, but nothing like the ones I had had during the first couple of months after the incident. It wasn't like I wanted to dwell on that shit. I was really trying to get over it and move on with my life, woman-free, but my fucked up mind kept going back to the night my heart was shattered into a million pieces.

A lump formed in my throat. My heart fell to my stomach and it ached. It was rare because it had been left cold and dead since that night. I wouldn't allow it to _feel_ anything anymore. I didn't trust enough to let anyone in again. But, at this particular moment, my mind started playing over the events from that night.

_That night was supposed to be perfect. I had been arranging it for over a month in between classes and studying. I had known since Christmas that I wanted Tanya to be my wife. I had loved her for almost two years. After New Year's, I went to _Tiffany's_ and bought an engagement ring. I made reservations at a five-star restaurant in Port Angeles. I agreed to meet her halfway because she didn't want to drive all the way to Seattle. I had a paper due on Monday that needed to get done or I wouldn't have been able to spend the weekend with her. I was going to take her on a romantic little getaway after the proposal. I was so excited that I was on cloud nine all week long. _

_Being in school prevented me from seeing Tanya as much as I wanted to. I tried to get home every holiday and free weekend I could, but I needed to make sure all my class work was done. I hated to admit that my focus on school is probably what caused Tanya to distance herself from me. I felt like I had pushed her away. I never wanted to her to think she was second best. _

I placed my head on my hands and tried to keep the tears inside_. _

_I remembered her face as she walked into the restaurant. My breathing stopped the moment she walked into the room. I watched as her face went from surprise to shock while she made her way to our table. That look should have set an alarm off in my mind, but it didn't. I was just entirely too focused on her. She was absolutely beautiful, breathtaking. Her hair was pulled up into a twist; loose strands were caressing her face and neck. Her beautiful pale, milky skin was lightly covered by natural-colored make-up. It brought out the color of her bright crystal-blue eyes. I stood up to greet her as she approached the table; my hands were shaking. I wanted so much to pull her into me and kiss her deeply, but she just sat down when she got to her chair. I knew that something was wrong then, but I was in love and didn't think anything of it. I reached over to touch her hands when we were both seated, but she moved them away from me. She had never done that before. Maybe she was still in shock from the evening. _Boy was I ever wrong…

Jasper pulled me out of my self-induced torture when he came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. Out of instinct, I jumped out of my seat and turned around. My posture was defensive; ready to fight.

He jumped back. "Sorry man…I didn't mean to scare you!" he said with his hands in the air. He looked very concerned.

"No, it's alright," I said shakily. "But thank you."

Jasper looked at me like I was crazy. "Thank you? What for?"

"I was kind of stuck in a dark place before you showed up," I said as I rubbed my hands over my face trying to ease the tension there.

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh," he quipped. "Um, sorry to hear that, Edward. I'm glad I could help, I guess."

I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. I raked my hands through my hair. I tried to lighten the tension that was surrounding me. So I did what I knew would work. I talked about Alice.

"I ran into my sister earlier," I said nonchalantly looking over at Jasper as he was about to sit down across from me. He froze in midair. The normally pale Jasper was about ten shades of red. I started laughing. "Jazz, you alright?" _This is going to be so much fun! _He had it about as bad as Alice did, if not more.

"Uh…um…what?" he stuttered. "Yeah…I'm good. Where did you see her?"

"Believe it or not, she's in my English class." I laughed. He was so easy. "Do you remember the girl that was with her at the club?"

"Who, Rosie?" he asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"No. The other one…the brunette," I said. I was seriously annoyed now.

"_I_ didn't notice anyone else," he said cockily. "But _you_ sure did." He was laughing at me now. _Seriously? What the fuck!_ This wasn't about to happen. I flipped him off.

"What?" he asked in amazement. "What did I say?" He was laughing harder. "Defensive much!"

"NO!" I growled. He had tears rolling down his face. "Never mind, you douche," I muttered. Now I was pissed off.

"Wait! What about this girl?" he asked, but it came out in gasps. He tried to stop laughing, but it wasn't working.

"Nothing, never mind," I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, come on, Edward, it caught me off guard that you mentioned something about a girl," he said seriously. The smirk was still there. _Fucker!_

I rolled my eyes. "She was dancing with Alice and Rosalie at the club. Found out she's Alice's roommate, and as far as I know I have two classes with her: English and Writing," I muttered. Jasper looked a little shocked.

"Seriously?" he asked with a huge grin forming across his face.

"Man, what is with you and Alice?" I asked gruffly. I was really getting annoyed again. "She had the same dumb ass grin you have on your face right now, but she also had that damn wicked gleam in her eyes."

"What exactly were you doing before you saw the gleam and grin?" he asked, his interest was piqued now.

I shrugged. "Nothing." I was lying and, of course, he called me out on it.

I rolled my eyes again. "She was sitting in front of me, one chair over. I didn't recognize her at first because I didn't see her face that night, I only saw her from behind." I huffed. _Oh man, did I really just say that?_ I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. Jasper started laughing again.

"Shut up, fucker." I groaned. "It wasn't like I was checking her out or anything." _Well, that was another lie. I did kind of notice her ass, I am a guy, but I wasn't staring at her._ Even in my fucked up world I could look, but I wouldn't let myself get involved.

"Yeah, right…whatever," he said, unconvinced.

"Look, Jazz, nothing is going to happen. I don't trust them - never will!" I said, forcefully. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Alright, Edward, I get it." He sighed as he rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

I decided to take the spotlight off me again and place it back on him.

"So, what are your intentions with my sister?" I asked, watching his reaction. His head snapped up, and the blush that had dissipated a while ago returned with a vengeance. It had even crept into his hairline.

"W…wh…what are you t..talking about?" he asked, tripping over his words. It took everything I had to stifle the laughter that was steadily building in my gut.

"Every time I mention her, you blush something fierce, and whenever she's around you can't take your eyes off of her. She's the same way about you." I threw the last bit in for good measure.

"What do you mean?" he asked. I knew he was itching for more information. _What do I tell him?_ They were almost identical in their reactions about each other. So, I would tell him some of that.

I huffed a bit and shrugged my shoulders. "Anytime your name is mentioned around her, her face gets as red as yours." I couldn't help but snicker. "You guys have it bad for each other, but you both are too damn chicken or stubborn to do anything about it. She's my sister and I love her. You're my friend and I think very highly of you. But, if you ever get up enough balls to do something about it and you hurt her in any way, friend or not, I will not hesitate to kick your ass."

I didn't think Jasper could have gotten any redder, but damn, he did. I busted out laughing. I almost fell out of my chair. I tried to look up at him, but I was crying so much from laughing he looked blurry. From what I could make out, it looked like he wanted to hit me.

I couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I don't mean to laugh." I said between gasps. I had to take a huge gulp of air, my lungs and stomach were killing me - but damnit - this was fucking hilarious. There was nothing like embarrassing the shit out of your best friend.

"Give it a rest, Edward! It's not funny. I happen to really like Alice, and I know that you and Emmett are very protective of her. I would never do anything to hurt her because I'm afraid you'll kick my ass, but I'm even more afraid that Emmett would kill me!" he said quite forcefully.

My eyes widened at his statement, but I understood where he was coming from because he felt the exact same way about his sister, Rosalie, even though she could totally take care of herself. That was saying a lot because Jasper was such a gentle soul. He didn't allow much to bother him. His calm personality rubbed off on the people around him.

"I don't think Emmett would kill you, but he could resort to castration." I chuckled.

Jasper crossed his legs and placed his hands over his crotch in a protective manner. "That's a nasty image, man. Don't even joke about that," he said, cringing. Hell, even I shuddered at the thought.

"I wasn't joking. We don't play when it comes to Alice; you know that," I said firmly.

"I know… I know," he said nodding. "I really want to get to know Alice better, but you're right; I'm a chicken-shit when it comes to your sister."

"Man, you need to grow a pair or you are going to remain alone for the rest of your life," I said matter-of-factly. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow like he was saying 'back at you.' The only difference between Jasper and I was that I wasn't looking for anyone to spend the rest of my life with. I had tried that route already and it had nearly killed me.

I rolled my eyes at him and laughed. "So, what are your intentions regarding my sister?" I had the smuggest grin on my face when he looked at me again.

"You are a fucking dick sometimes, Edward," he said, laughing.

"I know." I looked around the dining hall and my eyes glanced at the clock. It was almost twelve forty-five. My class was supposed to begin at one-thirty. "Jazz, I have to head out," I said. _I can't believe I sat here for over two hours. Where did the time go?_

"I need to go get my stuff for my next class," I said. I stood up and mocked-punched him on his arm. "This conversation isn't over dude! I'll catch ya later." I grabbed my bag and headed out.

As I walked among my fellow classmates, my head was down and my thoughts started to wander again; this time they didn't go into the darkness. It found something within the light; a face - the face of a girl with warm, chocolate colored eyes and a blush that could stop a heart.

_FUCK!_

_I AM SO FUCKED!_

_**~*twilightgirl224**_

_**A/N: Sorry that I left it off at this point. I can't wait to see how he reacts when he is by himself with Bella in their next class.**_

_**Tell me what you think. Ideas? Comments? I looked forward to bringing more soon.**_


	6. Chapter 6  The Past Comes Knocking

_**C/N: **__**This is Bella's first class with Alice and Edward. While phoning someone she sees a guy who can't stop staring at her. She is totally freaked out by him and she finds out later who he is and she is shocked. **_

_**Thanks to my two kick ass Betas – Woodlily and itsange!**_

Chapter 6

BPOV

Alice and I left our room to head to our first class, which we had together. I was surprised by that, but it was nice. We made our way through the commons arm in arm, checking out the different guys we saw, talking and giggling like high school girls. I noticed that the guys were looking in our direction, watching us as we walked by. They were probably checking Alice out. I nudged her and pointed to a couple of the guys who couldn't seem to take their eyes off of her. She started to laugh.

"Girl, they are looking at you not me."

I scoffed, "No they're not, Alice. Not even close!"

"Yes they are!" She giggled and waved at one of the guys. I was shocked. _Oh My God_. The guy waved back and Alice pointed to me. He smiled and nodded.

"See, told you so." _Oh man_. She started laughing again when she looked back at me. My face had to have been five shades of red, and I could feel the heat radiating from my cheeks. Alice grabbed my hand and began to lead me away from where we had stopped. She had to pull me along because my body did not want to cooperate; I was frozen due to shock. I wasn't used to getting that kind of attention from guys. I was the shy one at school and except for my guy friends; no one at school gave me the time of day. This is a new experience for me. I don't know how to act or feel about it.

"Come on, Bella…Bella? Bella?" She called my name a little bit louder. It snapped me back to reality.

"Yeah…hmmm…what?" I asked incoherently as I tried to articulate my words but not succeeding. She started to laugh some more at my expense. Alice was still taking the lead as we made our way to the English building. She was still giggling and making fun of me. Alice is never going to let me live this down.

We found our classroom and watched as the other students entered the class before we did. Alice was still laughing and teasing me about my reaction to those guys from earlier, her laugh carried throughout the corridor. People kept looking back at her, most of them staring in disbelief or amusement, take your pick, and they must have thought that she was crazy. I wanted to agree at the moment. Alice was in front of me as we entered the room, but she suddenly came to a stop and I almost ran into her. I walked around to her right side and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and there was a huge grin plastered on her face. I tried to pull her like she had done to me, but she wouldn't budge. She was staring at something, so I followed her gaze. _Oh no!_ _God would not do this to me. Yes he would, this is pure torture._

I saw _him_. I would recognize him anywhere. He had a rare copper, bronze colored hair, chiseled jaw and cheeks. I saw the most beautifully bright emerald green eyes looking back at us. His eyes widened in shock…fear maybe, but his look went from shock to what…anger? Why would he be angry? Then his eyes moved from Alice to me. My cheeks felt like they were on fire now. I needed to leave and I couldn't, damn it. _This is not going to be good._ That look of anger, if that's what it was, slowly moved into confusion.

Alice finally moved and made her way back to where Edward was sitting. _Oh no, not happening._ I pulled back on her hand and she turned to look to me. I shook my head no and she smiled at me but continued to pull me along. She led me to a couple of empty desks near him. She sat at the one next to him and the one in front of her was empty so I sat down. I didn't think I could have handled being any closer to him. I was beyond pathetic. _I don't even know him!_

Alice decided to speak first. "Edward, this is Bella, my roommate and friend." I turned around to look at him, and I felt the heat intensify in my cheeks. "Bella, this is my brother, Edward." He looked over to me and nodded.

"Hello," I squeaked. _How freaking embarrassing. He must think I'm nuts._ I heard a soft chuckle come from him. _LET ME DIE NOW! Why me?_ I looked down trying to avoid making eye contact with him. A moment later, I heard a loud slap. I looked up and Edward was rubbing his bicep.

"What?" he whined. I looked at her, and she was giving him the 'death stare'. _What did he do to deserve that?_

"Be nice!" she spat. She was kind of pissed. Okay, what the hell was I missing?

"What did I do?" he asked confused, still rubbing his arm absent-mindedly. I was also confused. I kept looking between the both of them.

"Edward. Anthony. Cullen!" Alice's voice had raised enough to be heard by everyone else in the room. I was biting my tongue to keep from laughing at Edward because he was the one blushing this time. _Oh, he was so adorable_. Edward began to rub his hands over his face and they found his way into his hair. _Oh, I want to do that._ He groaned. _Oh God! That sound just did something to my insides._ I had to shift in my seat a bit. _Damn! _

"Alice, I hate when you do that!" he grumbled. His hands were rubbing his face again. I couldn't stop it this time, I started giggling. It was like he was being scolded by his mother, but it was coming from his sister. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I was watching Alice through all this, but it felt like someone was staring at me. I looked over at Edward and the giggling stopped dead in my chest. He didn't look mad, but it was a strange feeling.

"I…I'm sorry," I said nervously. I felt the need to apologize in case he _was_ mad. "I didn't mean to laugh." At least I tried not to laugh, but it was too funny not to. So I told him so. "But it was funny watching the two of you." I watched as a smile crept across his lips. He was so cute.

"It's alright," he said. "Alice always brings out the worst in me." Just then, Alice hit him again and scooted her desk further away from him. I busted out laughing, harder this time.

"Go ahead, Edward, see if I talk to you again." She was sitting in her desk with her arms crossed over her chest and her bottom lip jutted out in a pout. Edward and I sat there laughing at her.

"Aww come on, lil sis, you know I love ya," he said, teasingly as he pulled her desk back towards him. She was slapping at his hands to get him to stop. When that didn't work, she started slapping at his arm again.

"Stop it!" she squealed. I began to laugh harder; tears were streaming down my face. Edward was still laughing. Alice gave up and joined in. I couldn't stop watching the both of them. My eyes were blurry from the tears, but I was having so much fun watching them. Sometimes I wish I had brothers and sisters so I could have the kind of relationship that Edward and Alice had. Jake was kind of a surrogate brother to me, but it wasn't the same. He wasn't there every day with me while I grew up. God, I missed him, but his damn stubbornness kept him away from me. I just wished that we could go back to the way things were before the fiasco at New Year's. _Damn, Jacob!_

I glanced over at Edward and he seemed to be looking at me, but _not looking at me_. It was kind of like he was in a daze. He suddenly snapped himself out of it and looked over at Alice. I saw a hint of surprise suddenly appear on his face, so I looked to Alice. There was some kind of unspoken communication going on between them. It was strange to watch Alice's expression. It was kind of devious. Whatever Edward was doing made the grin she had grow immensely. Something about this made me very nervous. Thank God the professor showed up before I found myself in the middle of something I may not have been ready for. For some strange reason, or maybe it was the atmosphere surrounding those two, a shiver ran through my entire body. _Where the hell did that come from?_

Professor Marcus dismissed the class early. _What am I going to do for the next couple hours?_ Alice took me by the hand again and we headed out of the classroom. I was in the middle of telling Alice about my next class when I saw Edward come up behind her and put his arm around her shoulder. I was really excited about it. I had always loved to write, ever since I was little; writing poetry and short stories. Growing up I wanted to become a writer. I had an over active imagination and my mind was always full of different ideas.

"Alice, I'm so excited about my next class. It's at one-thirty," I said excitedly.

"What is it?"

"It's Advanced Writing with Professor Aro, I think that's his name." Edward's head snapped up, and he looked in my direction. I was a little shocked.

He didn't look at me when he asked, "You are taking Advance Writing with Professor Aro?"

"Yeah, today at one-thirty. You know the class?" I asked, intrigued. Maybe he had taken the class and could give me some pointers. _Wait, why would he do that? Keep dreaming girl._

"Kind of. That's my next class for the day," he said, looking at me this time. _His eyes are killing me._ _I could seriously get lost in them_. Once again, I felt the heat flooding my face. I needed to get a grip. Edward looked at me strangely, and then looked back at Alice. She had some all-knowing expression on her face. He seemed to be surprised by her expression and became a little fidgety.

"Hey, I'll catch ya later, sis," he said. He looked over to me and nodded. "Bella."

I watched as he walked away. His hands went into his pockets and his head went down. It was like he was trying to shut out the world. My heart ached for him, so much so that I wanted to find the girl who had hurt him and gouge her eyes out. _Okay, what was that about?_ _Why did I want to stoop to physical violence for someone I hardly know? Why was I so drawn to him?_ I couldn't stop looking at his picture earlier. When we were in class all I wanted to do was stare at him, but I couldn't. Now, we had another class together. But this time it was without Alice between us. _What was I going to do?_

Alice and I left the English building. We weren't sure what we were going to do to pass the time. I had almost three hours to kill, and Alice's class was not until three-thirty. We decided to go do lunch, but Alice wanted to drop her books off at our room first. We made our way through the commons. It still felt kind of strange when I noticed a guy looking at me. It was so new to me. I had always considered myself a plain girl, nothing special to look at. I never had a boyfriend and never really wanted one. Jacob obviously wanted more, but I didn't. Thinking about Jake made me miss him even more. I decided that I should try to call him, see if he would actually pick up the phone this time. I told Alice to give me a few minutes, and I walked over to one of the benches in the quad.

I started to get a little nervous. I hadn't spoken to Jake in over seven months. My hands started to shake a little, and I had a hard time flipping through my phone to find his number. When his picture popped up on my screen, tears began to prick at my eyes. _*sniffle*_ I pressed send. I began to breathe in and out, trying to calm my nerves. I looked around the quad while I waited for the phone to ring, and I watched as other students walked from building to building. I saw some of the students taking advantage of the sun and the warm weather that still lingered around. As the fourth ring began, I started to feel down ,and I decided to look for Alice, but I was sidetracked by a guy who was staring at me, intensely. I looked around me to see if there was anyone near me he could be looking at, but no. This was weird. As soon as I turned back around I got Jake's voicemail. _*sigh*_

'Hey, it's Jake, leave me a message!'

"Jake, it's Bella, but you already know that. That's probably why you didn't answer. _*sigh*_ I wish you would talk to me…I miss you, Jake. I miss hearing your voice. Please call me… please," I begged. I hit the end button and I just wanted to cry. I looked up and that guy was still staring at me. He wasn't bad looking - not as gorgeous as Edward - but he was cute. He had blonde hair; it was pulled back into a ponytail. He had a slight tan and his face had a couple days' worth of stubble on it. I liked that on a guy, it was sexy, and I immediately thought of Edward. _Yummy!_

He caught me staring. I really wasn't staring at him; I was daydreaming in his general direction. He smiled and winked at me. I smiled back, but I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. His smile made me feel uneasy, dirty. I felt a shiver run through me, and his eyes widened. The smile he had got immensely bigger. He must have taken that shiver as a sign of excitement and that was so not the case. I needed to find Alice Looking around, I found her talking amongst a group of other students, mostly guys, and she was laughing. She saw me looking at her, smiled, and waved me over. As I walked over to her, I took a quick glance behind me to see if that guy was still staring; he was nowhere to be seen. _Thank God. Creepy!_

Alice must have sensed my discomfort. "Are you alright, Bella?" Her brows furrowed in concern.

I shrugged, coming to stop next to her. "Yeah, I'm good - just kind of creeped out right now," I said, giving her a small smile.

"What happened?" Her eyes tried to meet mine.

"Nothing, really. My imagination was probably getting the better of me."

She moved a little closer and put her hand on my arm. I felt like an idiot. I sighed and another shiver ran through me. "I don't think so, Bella. I just felt that shudder your body just gave off," she said matter-of-factly.

_Damn, I was hoping she hadn't felt that._ I looked up at her. "It's probably nothing. I was trying to call the friend that I told you about earlier, and I caught this guy staring at me. I mean, _really staring at me_. He kind of creeped me out. He winked at me, and his smile"—I shuddered again—"It was kind of evil-looking." Alice put her arm around me and pulled me closer to her.

"I don't think it was anything, but if something comes of it, I've got your back girl," She said with sincerity. I looked at her and smiled. She winked at me and gave me a huge smile. I leaned into her and I felt my body relax.

"You ready to go to lunch?" she asked.

"Yeah, but don't you need to stop at the room first?" I motioned to her bag.

"Oh crap, yeah. Do you mind?" She looked at me.

"Of course not, the walk will do me some good." _It will help take my mind off of Jacob and that guy from the commons._ We got up and started walking.

"Did you get a hold of your friend?"

_So much for forgetting about Jacob. _"No, but I wasn't expecting to. He hasn't answered my calls for months. I was just… hoping that's all." I wanted to cry, but I held the tears back. Man, I needed to stop this. I didn't do anything wrong. _But why do I feel so guilty?_

"He will come around, Bella." She sounded sure of her statement.

I laughed, "I doubt it. You didn't see his face when he left that night. He looked broken, but I don't know what he was expecting. He laid all that out on me, and he was surprised when I didn't feel the same way. I can't change that," I said as I wiped a damn traitor tear that fell from my eye.

"Are you sure about that, Bella? You don't have _any_ romantic feelings for him?" She looked at me skeptically. I sighed; I felt like I had to defend myself again. _Why was this so hard to believe?_ He was…he _is_ my best friend, my brother. I didn't want him in that way, ugh!

"No, Alice, I never thought of Jacob in that way. He was like my brother. That's all!" I said through clenched teeth. Alice stepped back and put her hands up. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired of trying to defend myself."

She looked remorseful. "I didn't mean anything by it, Bella. Sometimes guys want to see more than what's there, and sometimes they don't want to see what's directly in front of their…" She trailed off looking into space.

I looked at her, confused. "Alice, are you okay?"

It took her a few moments, but she sighed. "Yeah, I'm good…just thinking."

"Anything I can help with?"

She shrugged her shoulders and laughed, "Not unless you can get into the mind of a particular guy and tell him to get his act together." I knew I had a look of confusion written all over my face. She laughed again, "Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out. But another thing I'm having issues with is there is this guy that I like and well, I guess I'm kind of in the same scenario as you and your friend. I want to tell him but _I'm_ scared to find out if he feels the same thing back. So I don't say or do anything about it."

_I totally got it_. She didn't want to say anything out of fear of rejection. Jacob told me everything, he laid it all out, but he didn't take into consideration all the possible outcomes of what he was doing. _Argh! Life sucks sometimes!_

"Oh, Alice, I'm not the right one to talk to about this. I can listen, be a shoulder to cry on if and when the need arises, but after what happened with Jake, I'm the last person to give advice on this subject. I do hope that everything works out for you. You deserve to be happy." _God that sounded kind of lame because now I feel bad for Jake, he deserves to be happy too, but it's not with me. _I was NOT the one!

She raised her eyebrow. "And you don't?" Was she reading my mind? I laughed at her expression and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm happy," I lied. I missed my family and my best friend.

"You're lying. You don't do it very well." She smirked at me. I was a little shocked by that.

"Well, I am…to a point. I miss my family, and I really miss Jacob." I missed them so much I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Alice saw this and wrapped her arm around me again.

"Hey, no need to cry. Look: how about I make you a part of my family? We can be like sisters if you want."

She sounded kind of excited about the prospect. I had to admit, I kind of liked the thought of that. I was by myself here. I needed someone in my life that I could trust, and Alice made that easy. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

"Alice, I would so like that!" I was kind of excited. I was grinning from ear to ear.

She pulled back and grasped my hands. "Girl, we are going to have so much fun!" she squealed. I was crying now, happy tears this time.

She looked confused. "Why are crying now?" she asked.

I choked a laugh. "These are good tears. I'm definitely happy now."

"Good! Now come on sis, let's finally go do lunch. You don't have that much time left before your next class," she said as she got up and pulled my hand.

I looked at the time on my phone. It was almost twelve. We still had time for lunch and from there I could head to class.

**~*MoTH*~**

We finally made it to our room. Alice dropped her books off and I switched mine out. We both took a few minutes to freshen up. Okay, _I_ took a few minutes. Alice took about twenty. When I washed my face, I allowed the cool water to sooth my eyes and cheeks. I definitely didn't want to look like I had been crying when I went to my next class, especially since Edward would be there. _Why do I care what he thinks about me? Let's see, because he's gorgeous. He's like a Greek god. He makes everything inside me quiver - places I didn't even know existed. I feel like I'm having a hot flash. I need some more cold water. DAMN!_

We finally left the room at twelve fifteen. Alice and her damn primping. Okay, so I had an hour and fifteen minutes until my next class. That meant we needed to eat somewhere on campus. We decided on the little deli that we went to on Saturday. We located a table leaving our stuff there while we went to order something to eat. While Alice was getting her drink, I took mine back to the table and waited for my order to be called.

I sat and watched students as they came and went from the deli. I looked for Alice. She was talking to someone on the phone. I turned back to the entrance just as the door opened again. My eyes widened in surprise. It was the blonde from the commons. I watched as he scanned the deli. When his gaze met mine, that creepy smile made its way back on his face. _*Shudder*_

_Damn, I needed to stop doing that_, because when he caught me doing it again, his smile grew impossibly wider and he licked his lips. I felt like my eyes were going to bug out of their sockets. He made his way towards my table. _Not good - this is not good_.

He stopped behind the seat with Alice's bag in it. "Hi there, baby," he said huskily.

"Um, hello," I mumbled. _I'm about to have a full freak out session here. I don't know what to do. Where's Alice?_

"I saw you earlier today in the commons. Is this your first year here?" He moved around the table and sat down on the seat next to me.

I gasped, "Yes." _Oh my God, where are you Alice? I need you_.

He scooted the seat closer to me. "My name is James. It's my second year here. Where are you from?"

I tried to move my seat back some, but the window was in my way. _FUCK! _"From Forks." My voice wavered.

"Really? Me too. What's your name?" _Oh God, seriously!_ I scanned the deli for Alice. She finally looked at me, and I pleaded with my eyes for her to come rescue me. She told whoever was on the phone she'd call them back and hung up. The look on her face screamed bloody murder.

"Isabella, but I go by Bella." My body was so tense right now that I was about to scream.

"Hey, since you're new in town, I would like to show you around town and maybe invite you to a party this weekend at Sigma house." Alice was at the table the moment he mentioned the party. _Oh, thank you, sweet Jesus!_

"Sorry, but she has plans this weekend," she said icily. "James, what are you doing here?" Alice was looking at him with such anger and hatred. _What the hell?_

"Alice, I didn't know you were here. I was just talking to Bella here." He smirked at her and she was livid. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides.

"I think you had better leave James. If Edward catches you here…"

He started laughing. "Oh this is too good to be true. He's here too, I forgot. I didn't think he'd come back after what happened earlier this year." Alice was shaking; her face was bright red from anger. I was just completely shocked by what was going on. I was speechless.

"You fucking prick!" she screamed. "You have got a lot of nerve to be bringing that shit up in my presence." _OH MY GOD! I can't believe she just said that_. Everyone in the deli stopped what they were doing and watched the scene that was playing out in front of me. He was laughing louder now.

"I'm out of here. Look, Bella, if you change your mind about this weekend, let me know. I would like to get to know you better." That wicked smile was back on his face.

Alice wasn't having it. "Fat chance, asshole." He got up and left, laughing as he left the deli.

I was still in shock over their confrontation. "Alice, what the hell was all that about? That was the guy I was telling you about earlier. He was the one that creeped me out."

"Bella, please stay away from him. He's no good. He's part of what happened to Edward earlier this year; they used to be friends until." She was trying to calm herself down and pleading with me at the same time.

"You don't have to worry about that. I don't have any interest in him whatsoever. He makes my skin crawl, and not in a good way."

"Good. I wish I could tell you more, but just trust me when I say he is bad news." Well, that little statement definitely piqued my curiosity and made me want to know everything that happened right now. It must have been bad if Alice was this worked up over James.

"I think I lost my appetite," she said, still looking disgusted.

"Me too. I lost it the second he walked through that door." I shuddered again at the thought.

"So that was the guy you were telling me about earlier?" she asked as she laid her hand over mine.

"Yeah, he was sitting at a bench across from where I was sitting. He wouldn't stop staring at me. The smile he gave me - ugh! He makes me want to shower in bleach."

"Well now that I know it is James, we need to be more cautious. He's arrogant. He always gets what he wants. He's downright evil. It makes me furious to know that he's here while Edward is here. This is not going to be good." She looked worried now. "I don't know if I should tell him or not. This may throw him back into his shell."

"Alice, honestly, even though you know this may hurt him, he still has the right to know. I don't know what happened, but if this could affect him in any way, he needs to know." I tried to be as convincing as I could. I hated to think of Edward in any kind of pain. It hurt my heart to no end, but it was the right thing to do.

Her chin started to quiver like she was holding back from crying. "I know, but this is going to hurt him or he's going to kill James. Either way, it's a lose-lose situation."

"Come on Alice, let's go. I have some time still before my class let's go for a walk."

"Yeah…sure. I need to figure out how I am going to tell Edward the guy who was partly responsible for shattering his world is back and attending school here." **WHAT?** I was ready to go out on a murdering spree. James was second on my list, only to the bitch who broke Edward's heart. _What was I thinking? Get a grip Bella. _

"I'll help you figure something out." I didn't know how or what, but I would help her in any way that I could.

"Thanks." She leaned into me as we walked out of the deli. _This is not going to be good_.

**~*Twilightgirl224**

_**A/N: **__**What are they going to do? How can they tell Edward without hurting him? I will have an update this week. Let me know what you think. I love to hear from you. **_


	7. Chapter 7  Breaking

_**A/N: I wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. I am having so much fun writing this.**_

_**Chapter notes: Continuation of Edward's first day of classes. Something is going on and he can't shake the feeling that his sister is hiding something. He never imagined it would be his past coming back to haunt him.**_

_**Thanks to my lovely Betas – itsange and Woodlily, they are the best!**_

Chapter 7

EPOV

_This isn't good. I need to find a way to get her out of my mind. For whatever reason, my mind seems to want to focus on nothing but her. I can't allow this to happen. I will not allow myself to go through that again. It's time to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand_.

I went back to my room so I could switch out my books for the next class. _She _was going to be there, in the same room with me, alone. I needed to stay away from her. _Wait! She's my sister's friend, and Alice would never let it slide_. I could be civil; I didn't have to give her any special treatment. Hopefully, she would sit somewhere far away from me so I wouldn't feel the need to talk to her; the more distance the better.

_I can be such a dick sometimes. What's wrong with me?_

But, I wasn't taking any chances. I didn't want, or need, any complications in my life. I just needed my family and to focus on my education. I hoped I could include my music back in my life soon. I missed playing so much, but all it did was remind me of Tanya.

I grabbed my books, shoving them into my bag, and started walking out the door. My phone went off; it was Alice. _What could she possibly want?_ _Better not try to get me involved in one of her little schemes._ I rolled my eyes at the thought and answered the phone.

"What could you possibly want, Alice? I just saw you a couple hours ago." I said, trying to sound annoyed.

She started laughing. "So, I'm not allowed to call my brother now?"

"Not when I just left you," I said, chuckling.

"Whatever, Edward," she said, teasingly. "Are you getting ready for your next class?"

"Yes…what are you doing?" I asked, hearing a lot of noise in the background.

"I'm at the deli here on campus, about to grab a drink to have with my lunch."

"Sounds like fun," I said with a teasing yawn.

"Shut up! God, you are such a prick sometimes." She sighed.

I laughed. "I know…but you love me anyway."

"Maybe, maybe not." She scoffed.

"Oh, that hurts, Alice."

She started giggling. "You are such a dork, Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. So why did you call? Is something wrong?"

"No, no…nothing bad. I just wanted to see how your day was going so far." I heard the concern in her voice. "I still worry about you; I do love you, you know." Her voice wavered.

"I know, sis, I love you, and I have missed you too," I said, remorsefully.

"Me too," her voice cracked this time…but then she exhaled heavily. "Okay, enough of that."

I snickered; her emotions changed at the drop of a dime. "You are too funny."

"Don't laugh at me," she yelled.

"Sorry." I fought to hold the laughter back.

"It's all right, but listen to me, Edward," she said forcefully. _That got my interest. What the hell did I do now? Why does it seem like I am about to scolded?_ "I know how you are… or at least, how you were. When you get to your next class, don't be a dick to her." _Ugh! So this did have to do with Bella. Here we go_.

"Alice, what do you expect from me?" I was seriously annoyed by this point.

"Right now…nothing." I heard the smile in her voice. _She is definitely up to something I can feel it._

"I don't believe you, pixie," I said, sarcastically. Usually she would have some kind of comeback, but there was nothing. Nothing but dead silence on her end of the phone. "Alice?" I called into the phone - still nothing. "Alice?" I yelled a little louder.

"Um…Edward, I have to go." She sounded a little distracted.

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to get her attention.

"I'll have to call you back." And with that the call dropped. She hung up on me. _What the fuck!_ I tried to call her back but it went straight to voicemail. I looked at the phone to check the time; there was still time before class started. I tried once more, and again it went straight to voicemail. This time I left a message.

"Alice, why the hell did you hang up on me? Call me!" I huffed and hung up the phone; I was pissed off. _Maybe I should head over to the deli… No… I need to calm down. She will kick my ass if I try something. _I decided to take a walk to try calming myself down. After that, I would just head over to my next class. I would have to text her later.

**~*MoTH*~**

After about thirty minutes of walking around campus, clearing my head, and in effect, calming myself down, I made my way over to the English building. I knew I was a little early, but I honestly had nothing else better to do.

The classroom was located on the second floor. When I walked through the door I had to take a step back to make sure I was in the right room. The page on the wall said 'Professor Aro – Advanced Writing 2101 – 1:30 P.M. M-W-F' Yep, it was the right class. I walked back into the room and was kind of amazed by the layout. There were some desks in the middle of the room, but placed around in no particular location were three couches, four comfy chairs, and beanbags. I hadn't seen bean bags in years. They made the environment seem comfortable. It would definitely help get the creative juices flowing if we were able to just sit back and relax while we wrote. _I think I just might enjoy this class._

I took a seat in one of the desks at the far back of the room and waited for the class to start. I looked down at my phone and I saw there were about ten minutes before class started. As I waited, my mind went back to my conversation with Alice. I started to get pissed again, so I texted her.

_**Alice, are you going to tell me what happened? – Edward**_

My phone vibrated.

_**Later! – Alice**_

_Oh, hell no, she didn't!_

_**Tell me, NOW! – Edward**_

My right leg was bouncing in anticipation; she had better respond. I felt my phone vibrate.

_**Not over the phone, this is something that needs to be said in person. Please! – Alice**_

_What the hell is she talking about?_ I was seriously beyond pissed off at this point. _What is she hiding?_ Before I started to answer the text, something made me look up. My eyes darted to the door, watching as more students filed into the room. Bella walked in. She stopped just inside the entrance and looked around until she saw me. The expression on her face went from shock to confusion, and then in to one that I couldn't quite place, but if I had to put a name to it, it would be hurt…or pain. She began biting her bottom lip, and then looked down. _Okay, what is going on?_ _First, Alice ditches me, and now Bella looks like she is about to freak the fuck out. Alice I can excuse, but why would Bella be looking at me with such…concern or worry?_ I texted Alice again. _She had better give me some answers_.

_**Alice, you better tell me what is going on, NOW! Why is Bella looking at me like she is about to cry? – Edward**_

I put the phone in my lap as Professor Aro walked into the room. I quickly scanned the room and found Bella sitting in a desk closest to the door. Well, I asked for distance and got it. But, now I wished she was sitting closer to me so I could find out what was going on - talk about irony. She watched the professor getting settled up front, but she must have realized that I was staring at her because she turned to look back me. When our eyes locked, hers widened and she blushed, but that changed quickly. The look she had on her face earlier returned. She dropped her gaze and turned her attention back to the front of the class. I felt my phone vibrate on my leg.

_**Please, please believe me when I say now is not a good time. TTYL, love you. – Alice**_

_What is she hiding? Why can't she tell me? _

The teacher got everyone's attention so he could start the class. He introduced himself, gave us a brief introduction and then began to go over the syllabus. While he was reading it over, I glanced over to where Bella was sitting; she was following along with the professor but jumped abruptly in her seat. I saw her pull a phone from her back pocket, and bring it into her lap. She hid it under the edge of the desk and looked down at the screen. Whatever she saw must have surprised her because I watched as her eyes widened and she swallowed hard. She slowly moved her head in my direction and our eyes locked.

I narrowed my eyes and mouthed, "What's going on?"

Her face fell slightly and mouthed, "I'm sorry." _What the fuck is she sorry about?_ I looked at her, confused. She looked back down at her phone and started typing away. I pulled my phone out and texted Alice again.

_**I want to talk to you tonight! – Edward**_

_**Fine, meet me at my room after your class tonight. – Alice**_

_**I'll text you when I'm on my way. Is Bella going to be there? - Edward**_

_**Not if you don't want her to be. I'll see you soon. 3 u! – Alice **_

Suddenly, a wave of dread washed over me. I didn't even notice when the professor had finished the syllabus and began to go over the first assignment. _Damn_. _Get your head back in the game_. But the feeling wasn't going away. Professor Aro handed out an additional sheet that gave some examples, explaining exactly what he was looking for in the assignments. The first assignment was to write a four-stanza poem containing three sections. It was easy; I could write that in my sleep. Once he was finished going over the sheet, he dismissed the class and advised that the assignment would be due by the beginning of Wednesday's lab class. That meant that tonight's lab class would be an introduction and _that_ meant it would be an early night.

I gathered my books and looked over at Bella; she had gathered her things and was already out of her seat, heading toward the exit. _Oh hell, no! _ I grabbed my stuff as I jumped out of my seat, almost tripping over my feet in the process. I ran to the door, shoving things into my bag. I grumbled as some of the students blocked my way out of the classroom.

"Hurry up!" I said under my breath.

I tried looking through the students to see if Bella was still in the hallway. _Fuck_. I couldn't see her. _Damn, she's fast_. I finally made my way out of the room, looking left and right…nothing. I ran toward the exit, hoping I would run into her; I saw her at the bottom of the stairs, on the phone. I ran down, trying to catch up with her, but the moment I was behind her, I heard her talking.

"…what are you going to tell him?" _Tell who, what? _"He was staring at me almost the entire class." _Is she talking about me? I wasn't staring at her that much, was I? Nah._

"When is he coming over?" _Is she talking to Alice?_ "Do I need to stay away, Alice?" Yep, definitely Alice. "Um, I don't think I would feel comfortable…or Edward would feel comfortable for that matter if I was there…" I heard Alice's voice come through the phone, and Bella's body stiffened. I laughed inwardly; Alice kind of had that effect on people. "…I don't know what happened between James and Edward, but I don't think I should be there." I stopped dead in my tracks as the blood drained from my face, watching as Bella continued to walk toward the dorms. _James? How does she know James? Why is Alice talking to Bella about him?_ My breathing was coming in shallow gasps and my body started shaking. I needed to get out of here but my body was being a traitor. _Fuck! _ My breathing was growing more shallow. My hands were shaking badly but I managed to pull my phone out and text Alice.

_**Alice….James? – Edward**_

I waited…there was no answer; she must still be on the phone with Bella. My knees buckled under me; I fell on them in the middle of the commons. I tried taking deep breaths but it was getting increasingly difficult. I looked up and saw that some students had stopped to just stare at me. Some of them had concerned looks on their faces and others had slight smirks; they must think that I was some kind of escaped lunatic. I had no idea how much time had passed, but my phone started ringing. I looked down at the screen. _Alice_.

"James?" It was all that I could say when I answered the phone, my throat thick with anxiety.

She gasped. "Edward? Where are you?"

I heard the worry in her voice, but I didn't care. "On my knees, in the commons," I spat.

"I'm coming to you, stay there!" I heard her fumbling for something in the background.

"NO!" I growled, finally getting my breathing under control. "How long have you known?"

"Just a couple of hours. He showed up at the deli and was talking to Bella," she said quickly. So he was here. _Fuck!_ And what the hell was he doing with Bella?

"Is this what you were going to tell me tonight?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. It would explain Alice evasiveness _and_ Bella's behavior in class. What did Bella know about James?

"Yes, I told you this was not something to be done over the phone." She sounded like she was about to start crying. "I knew this was going to be hard, and I wanted you to be near me when I told you. I didn't want you to shut me out again."

"Fuck, Alice, I can't handle this!" I said as I pulled my hair. I finally stood up, walking away from the commons and the onlookers.

"Edward, please stay where you are! I'm going to come get you. I will email my teacher for my next class. Edward?"

"I will come to your room."

"Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes. Bella is here…do you want her to leave?" She asked, hesitantly.

"No," I said, breathlessly. I was finding it hard to keep it together. My heart felt like it was about to burst through my chest.

Alice was crying. "Edward, calm down please…Just come to my room."

"Fine." I groaned and hung up the phone.

In all my worst nightmares, never did I think I would run into either James or Tanya again. Now James was here, and all I could see was red! I wanted to run, not looking back. I wanted to run until I passed out from exhaustion, but I couldn't. I needed to face this head-on, and stop _hiding._ But first, I needed to talk to Alice and find out exactly what the hell was going on.

I made my way from the commons to the dorms, locating Alice's building and making my way to her room. I stood against the railing across from her door for a couple minutes before I got up enough nerve to knock. _Fucking pussy._

I knocked lightly, honestly hoping that she wouldn't hear me and I wouldn't have to face what was about to happen. _Yep, I'm a damn pussy._ But she opened the door quite quickly; any hope I had left, faded.

Alice was looking straight into my eyes; she looked nervous. She dropped her gaze to give me a onceover and gasped, and then quickly took my hand tried to pull me into the room. I barely got my body to respond; it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I was finally far enough inside that Alice was able to close the door behind me, and as soon as I heard the door close, I started to panic again. _I can't do this. I have to go_. I was so far gone I hadn't realized Alice was talking to me. She was standing in front of me, waving her hands in my face.

"Edward?" Her face was full of worry and concern. I had to look away; I couldn't face the look of hurt on her face again.

She grabbed my hand, saying my name again. "Edward, honey?" I barely felt her touch, but I tried to pull my hand from her anyway; Alice only squeezed it harder. I ignored her attempt to talk to me and began looking around the room. I saw Bella sitting on a bed leaning against the wall. She has the same look of worry and concern on her face as Alice did, but I suddenly remembered what Alice had said earlier. James had been talking to Bella.

I narrowed my eyes. "How do you know James?" My voice was dripping with contempt.

That must have surprised her because the expression on her face changed suddenly from worry to confusion. "I don't know him, personally. I saw him earlier today after our first class; I was trying to make a phone call while we were at the commons. He wouldn't stop staring at me," she said defensively. "He creeped me out!" I saw her body shudder.

"That fucker!" I growled, and Bella jumped.

Alice spoke this time. "Edward, please calm down. Here sit," she said forcefully as she pointed to her bed. I didn't budge; she pulled my hand again. "Edward, come on." _Fine._

I sat down and looked up at her. "Earlier, when I was talking to you, you seemed distracted. Was it because of _him_?" I asked, feeling the bile rising in my throat.

"Yes," she said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "When you realized who it was, why didn't you tell me then?"

"I didn't know how to go about telling you. The last time…" She looked over to Bella and then back at me. "you saw him, it didn't go very well."

I remembered that moment quite well. _It was about a month after the run-in with Tanya while I was in town. I really needed to get out of the house; it was starting to get very claustrophobic there. I decided to go for a drive and headed down toward La Push. I ended up taking a walk along the beach. It felt good to be out in the fresh air. The rain had stayed away today surprisingly, so the rarity of the sun felt good on my face. It wasn't cold outside, which was a nice change. I walked along the shore for about an hour and happened upon a piece of driftwood big enough to sit on. I sat down and watched as the waves rolled up on the beach for a while. I finally released the huge gust of air from my lungs that had seemed to be stuck in my chest for the past few months. A small wave of peace worked its way through my body, but that didn't last for very long._

What were the odds, honestly? The day I decided to take a trip out to La Push, a spur of the moment decision, but I would be damned if _my_ hell on Earth didn't find me there at this exact moment.

_I heard chattering coming from some place further down the beach. I looked over to see a couple walking hand in hand. Fuck my life. I don't want to see that shit right now. I still hated it, everything about it. It reminded me of what I'd lost. _

_They were walking slowly, pausing to hug and kiss. I rolled my eyes, feeling my stomach clench at the sight. I __**needed**__ to leave, but doing that meant I would have to pass the 'loving couple'. I got up and started to walk back toward my car, making a few steps in their direction. I looked up and saw that the couple was still walking in my direction. The woman had her arms wrapped around the guy's waist. The guy had his arm draped over her shoulders; he pulled her closer and kissed her temple. I noticed that the woman was pregnant; the dress she was wearing gave it away. As the couple got closer to me I was able to make out their faces and couldn't believe my eyes. It was Tanya and James._

_Fuck my life, seriously? What had I done to deserve this? How could my life get any worse? I was definitely going to get some much-needed satisfaction out of this fucked up situation. I walked over to them; Tanya's eyes widened as I got closer. James just stared at me, showing no emotion whatsoever, pulling Tanya behind him in a protective manner. _

_I snorted. "Don't worry, James, I don't want her anymore. She's all yours…you, on the other hand..." _

_I moved closer to him. "What are you going to do, Edward?" he asked, pushing Tanya back. _

"_Nothing that you don't deserve, asshole." And with everything I had in me - all the hurt, pain, anger and rage coursing through me - I decked him. He stumbled back from the blow. I went to hit him again, because damn it, that fucking felt awesome, but he stepped backwards, trying to move from my line of fire. _

"_Edward!" Tanya yelled. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of a response. She yelled again, "EDWARD!"_

_I looked at her. "What the fuck do you want, Tanya? What else can you do to me that you didn't do four months ago?" I spat. James moved further in between Tanya and me. _

"_Edward, you better leave before I call the cops," he snarled._

_I started laughing. "You think I care about the cops? My world was turned upside down and crumbled before my eyes months ago. I couldn't care less about what happens to me now. She was my world and I __**thought**__ we had a future." I looked at Tanya. She actually had the audacity to show remorse, but I didn't buy that for a second. "That future was fucked way before I even knew what hit me. Well, congrats to the both of you because you have ruined me for anyone else! I hope you're satisfied." I ran my hand through my hair, and I couldn't stop laughing. It felt like I was losing my mind. _

I guess that memory lingered because I was still laughing when Alice snapped me back to the present.

"Edward, what's going on with you?" She was so full of worry.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing."

"You are a rotten liar, Edward!" she said through clenched teeth.

I sighed. "Look, I am still trying to deal with the fact that the fucker who helped ruin my life is here in Seattle, attending _this_ school. I thought I would never see him again," I said, rubbing my hands over my face.

"I know, I know…I wish I could have told you before you found out the wrong way." She stopped suddenly, with a confused look on her face. "By the way, how did you find out?"

I looked over to Bella and then back at Alice. "I overheard her talking to you," I muttered, motioning to Bella and they both gasped. My eyes moved back over to where Bella was sitting when I heard a muffled "Oh my God". She had her knees pulled up to her chest, running her hands through her hair.

I heard Alice screech. "Bella! How could you?"

I groaned and looked back at Alice. "Alice, it wasn't her fault. She didn't know I was following her," I said, trying to calm her down. Alice turned back to me with a surprised look. "She left as soon as class was dismissed. I tried to catch up to her to ask her what the hell was going on, but when I did she was on the phone, I heard her say your name so I figured she was talking to you, but out of the blue she said _his name_ and I fucking lost it. I started having a panic attack in the middle of the goddamn commons. The students were staring at me, and I couldn't do a damn thing!" I yelled, almost on the verge of another panic attack. I couldn't look at them because I knew I would lose it.

I just sat there, staring out the window, but I heard someone sniffle, and I looked to Alice; she wasn't crying. I turned to look at Bella and saw she had tears falling down her cheeks; she was rocking back and forth with her hands wrapped around her knees. _Oh no, fix this, Cullen. _It wasn't her fault, but she was acting like she was the one to blame.

"Bella," I said softly. She looked at me, still rocking. "This was not your fault at all. This is just a fucked up situation, and I'm sorry that you somehow got caught in the middle of it."

She shook her head. "I shouldn't have been talking about it out in the open. I was still freaking out about my run-in with James earlier, and the way Alice flipped out at lunch." She ran her hands through her hair, and then started pulling at it. I laughed inwardly. _She does the same thing I do when I'm stressed_.

I sighed. "It's alright; there is nothing we can do about it now." I was curious though, what did he want from Bella? "What did James want with you?" She looked taken aback by my question.

"Um…well, he introduced himself to me, and asked me some questions. He told me he was from Forks too, and then he asked if I wanted to go to a frat party with him this weekend." _WHAT?_

"Seriously?" I was surprised by this, but I was more interested in what she told him. "What did you say to him?"

"I didn't have a chance to answer him because that was when Alice came over and started going off on him." She looked at Alice with a small smile, almost like a thanks, then turned back to me. "But my answer would have been no. He makes me feel dirty when he looks at me. He has a wicked smile and not in a good way." She shuddered again.

_I so want to kill him. _"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Uh, kind of. I'm sorry, Edward, I really am. I wish you didn't have to find out that way," she said softly, her voice filled with guilt.

"I'm fine. I just didn't think I'd have to deal with _this_ again." Alice looked back at me, putting her hand on my knee.

"I'll help you get through this, Edward; I don't want to lose you again." Her voice was wavering.

"You're not going to lose me, Alice. It's not as bad as it was back then; it still hurts and I'm still angry as hell, but I'm dealing with it." I laughed. "I just hope I don't have another panic attack like I did back at the commons." I paused for a moment. "I think I'm going to go, Sis; I want to rest before my next class."

I looked at Bella. "Will you be there?" She nodded.

I got up from the bed and started to walk to the door. Alice stopped me; I turned around and she pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her and she squeezed me tighter.

"Alice...I…can't breathe," I said through chuckles. She let go and stepped back.

She giggled. "Sorry."

"I'll see you later." I turned to walk out the door again, but I stopped and looked back at Bella; she was still wrapped up on her bed, but at least the rocking stopped. "See you in class."

"Bye," she whispered.

I opened the door and walked out. I didn't hear the door close at first; I figured Alice was watching me. About halfway down the hall, I looked back towards her room. She smiled sheepishly. Yep, she was watching. I laughed softly as I turned back around.

I walked in the direction of my dorm building; it had been a long ,emotional day and the day wasn't even over yet. The room was empty when I arrived. Jasper was probably still in class. I tossed my bag on the floor next to my desk, plopped down on my bed covering my eyes with my arm, and sighed.

_This was one seriously fucked up situation!_

**~*Twilightgirl224**

**A/N: ****So, a little bit more of Edward's past. It's hard not to feel bad for him. Let me know what you think. I want to see your reviews, thoughts and opinions!**

**Another Chapter will be up in a couple weeks…There is still soooo much in store for our lovely little group.**


	8. Chapter 8  Witnessing Defeat

_**Chapter Notes: This of course is Bella's side to what is going on before, during and after the scene with Edward. **_

_**Thank you for the reviews…you know how much I love them.**_

_**Thank you to my two wonderful and patient Betas – Woodlily and itsange, for without them I would have hung my writing hat long ago. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.**_

Chapter 8

BPOV

Alice and I walked around the campus grounds for over thirty minutes after our run-in with James. Alice seemed somewhat distant, which was understandable. If I had to give news to a loved one that was potentially hurtful and life-altering; I would be an emotional wreck too. It was too much pressure for one person to be under; I heard her sniffle every now and then. I had no idea what to do but be there when she was ready to talk.

While I waited for Alice to come around, many questions inundated my mind. Who was James to Edward? What had happened that caused Edward so much pain? Why was Alice so nervous to tell Edward? I had class with Edward in less than fifteen minutes; a wave of panic washed over me. _What am I going to do?_

Alice leaned back to look at me in confusion; her eyes were a little red from crying obviously. "What's wrong, Bella?"

_She shouldn't be worried about me; there is too much on her plate right now. _"I'm fine, Alice - just kind of worried about you, and a little concerned about Edward." I wasn't lying to her, per se; I just didn't want to tell her I was freaking out about attending the same class as Edward knowing that something was going on.

Her chin started to quiver. "I'm worried about Edward. I'm so scared I'm going to lose him again when he finds out about James."

I saw the tears that threatened to spill over and I took a hold of her hand, letting her to know that I was there for her. "I'm sorry; I wish there was something I could do."

"I wish this wasn't happening!" she cried.

I looked at her with sympathetically. "I can't even begin to imagine what's going on, nor what is going through your mind with this. I wish I could stay with you to help you sort this out, but I have to get to class."

"Oh my God!" she shrieked. "Your next class is with Edward right?" She started panicking.

"Yes, Alice, calm down…You're not exactly helping my nerves here." Now I felt like crap. _Why the hell did I just say that?_ I didn't need to cause her any more stress. Also, I had to make sure I stayed calm around Edward, and that wasn't going to be easy. I knew my body; it would always betray me. _Everyone tells me how easy I am to read -like an open book_. _He might see that something is wrong, he just won't know why_. _Wait! Like he's really going to care if something is wrong with me_.

I laughed inwardly, but Alice pulled me back to reality. She was in serious panic mode now. "Please don't say anything to him!"

"Alice!" I was a little surprised by her statement. _Like I could even comprehend carrying on a normal conversation with him, let alone talking to him about this!_ "I can't believe that you would even think I would say anything to him."

"I know. I'm sorry," she said remorsefully. "I know you never would. I'm just about to go out of my mind, so please forgive me." She looked at me and I could see the regret in her eyes. I was about to answer, her but her phone went off. She looked down at the screen and whimpered.

"It's Edward. I hung up on him abruptly when I saw James talking to you. He wants to know what's going on." She threw her hands up in frustration. "I can't tell him about James over the phone!" She stopped and leaned up against one of the trees, laying her head back against the trunk. She squeezed her eyes shut and started taking deep breaths in and out.

"Alice?"

She wouldn't look at me; she only sighed and looked down at her phone. She began to type something on the keypad and then looked up at me when she was finished. I threw her a questioning look.

She nodded. "I'm fine."

I sighed; she looked exhausted. "Alice, are you sure? I hate leaving you, but my class is going to start in ten minutes." Good thing I was close to the English building.

She nodded. "Yes, go! I'm good. Be careful."

I walked over and gave her a hug; she hugged me back, tightly. "It's going to be okay." _I hope_. I pulled back to look directly at her. She nodded and I smiled. "I'll see you soon. Text me if you need me."

She gave a small smile. "I will. Now, go before you are late."

I turned and headed toward my English class. I hated leaving her, and my heart ached for what she was going through. I exhaled heavily. It felt like I'd been holding that breath since lunch. I truly wasn't that far from the building. Thank God; I didn't need to be late on the first day. But honestly, I was dreading having to be there, having to face Edward after today's events. My heart just dropped to my stomach at the thought. _What the hell am I going to do?_

I made my way to class, walking inside and stopping just a few feet past the door. I looked around the room; my eyes made their way over the desks, and they locked on Edward. My eyes widened at his expression; he looked angry. Did he know something? My heart sped up and my hands began to shake. He hadn't stopped looking at me. It felt like he was studying my actions, and my heart sank. _I can't do this; he's going to know something is up_. I began to get nervous and started biting my bottom lip. He looked at me with confusion. _I can't handle this!_ I looked down and away from his stare, suddenly wishing that I could disappear. Being curled up in my bed, under the covers, never sounded so good. I honestly could just sleep through the rest of the day without a care in the world.

I looked for an empty desk that was the farthest distance away from him. There was one right next to the door; I sat down, trying not to look over at Edward, but I still felt the weight of his eyes on me. _Damn._ For some reason, I needed to see what he was doing - _Pathetic, I know_. I hesitated a little, but I slowly turned to look in his direction. When I found him, he was staring down at his phone. His lips were pressed in a tight line, and then he started typing something on it. I watched as he set the phone down on his leg and looked up. As he did, the professor walked in. I turned away from Edward to watch the professor make his way to the front of the classroom. I felt a slight tingle run through me. _He is looking at me again, I know it. _I turned, and my eyes locked on Edward's. He _was_ staring at me! I felt my checks start to burn. _Kill me now!_ I quickly turned back to the front, needing to focus on something other than Edward. _Get a grip, Swan._

Professor Aro started the class by giving a brief introduction. I was actually very excited about this class. I saw myself getting totally lost in the assignments. The professor was handing out the syllabus when I felt my phone vibrate. I jumped, surprised, as I wasn't expecting to from anyone, but then I remembered telling Alice to contact me if something was wrong, and I felt my heart skip a beat. _Oh no; what happened?_

I nervously pulled my phone from my back pocket and placed it in my lap. It was a text from Alice. _Oh God. _I almost didn't want to read it. What if something bad had happened or there was something new about James? I tapped the screen and text popped up.

_**What's going on? Why does Edward think you are about to cry? – Alice**_

I was not expecting that._ Crap, why did he think that?_ I swallowed hard. _I knew I wouldn't be able to do this._ I turned to look at Edward; he was staring intensely at me, but he still looked angry. His eyes narrowed and he mouthed, "What's going on?" _Oh no! What do I do? What do I say? Nothing; absolutely nothing_. Alice would kill me, and it was not my place to tell him about James. I felt so bad. I looked at him and mouthed the only thing I could say, "I'm sorry". His face changed from anger to confusion. _I so can't handle this right now_. I sent a reply to Alice.

_**Alice, I'm freaking out here. He keeps staring at me. He asked me what's going on, and all I could say was I'm sorry. What do I do? – Bella**_

While I waited for Alice to respond, I focused on listening to the professor finish going over the syllabus. After that, he started talking about the first assignment, explaining that he wanted us to write a four stanza poem. _Oh, this is going to be easy_. Then I felt my phone vibrate, and my heart skipped a beat.

_**Don't stress out. He's going to be coming to the room after his lab tonight. – Alice.**_

_He's coming to our room!_ I really wanted to be there for Alice, but I didn't think Edward would want me to be there. I heard the professor give the last details of the assignment, and then he dismissed the class for the rest of the day. _Perfect, just freaking perfect_. _I need to call Alice_. I quickly gathered my things and headed toward the door to leave. As soon as I was out of the building, I dialed Alice's number.

She picked up after the first ring. "Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me. Class was released early." I felt my pulse racing.

"Did you actually talk to Edward?" She sounded a little calmer than before.

"No, I was on the other side of the room. I don't think I could have sat near him knowing what's going on." I took a deep breath.

"I know. I don't know what to do. I haven't even told Emmett that James is here yet. He's going to have a coronary, and I'm terrified of how Edward's going to react too." The level of her voice increased with anxiety.

"Alice, I have a feeling everything will be alright, but can I ask what you're going to tell him?"

"I have no idea, but I have to find a way to tell him about James. He texted me to get me to explain what happened earlier, but I kept telling him not over the phone and I finally got him to agree to meet me later. Then he told me that you looked like you were about to start crying, and he also asked if you were going to be at the room when he came over. I wonder why?" She sounded intrigued.

I snorted. "He was staring at me for almost the entire class."

"Really? I wonder if he knows something?" she trailed off.

"When is he coming over?" I didn't want him to be uncomfortable with me there.

"After his final class," she said softly. _Great, I don't think I could handle another class with him right now. _

"Do I need to stay away, Alice?"

I heard her breath hitch, but after a moment she answered, "No…unless you want to." I heard the hope in her voice.

"Um, I don't think I would feel comfortable…or Edward would feel comfortable for that matter, if I was there…" I regretted it the moment I said it, but there was nothing I could do. I wasn't a part of this. I was a complete stranger in all this, and it was something that their family needed to handle on their own. The only reason I knew what I did was because of the confrontation between James and Alice.

"Bella!" she cried. _Here it comes_. "Please, please come back to the room after your class. I would like to have you there for support, and maybe Edward would be okay with it."

I still didn't think it was a good idea. "Alice, I don't know… Look, I don't know what happened between James and Edward, but I don't think I should be there. I really think it should be up to Edward. I want to be there for you, but this a private matter."

"Bella, please…wait…what time does your next class begin, again?"

_Oh no. _"Six…why?" I asked apprehensively.

"Can you meet me at the room?"

"Yeah, I was actually on my way there now." It was true. I needed to relax before my next class. I was so worked up about everything that happened today.

"Okay…I'll see you shortly," she said as she hung up the phone.

I stared at my phone. _What the hell?_

**~*MoTH*~**

While I made my way back to the dorms, my mind kept replaying some of the scenes from earlier in the day. My body shivered when images of James came up; he really freaked me out. Wondering what Alice wanted from me had my heart beating so fast that I could hear the blood pulsing in my ears. I heard Alice's voice the moment I reached the door to our room; maybe she was on the phone.

As I opened the door, I heard her saying, "…where you are! I'm going to come get you. I will email my teacher for my next class, Edward." I watched as Alice paced back and forth; she saw me, and her eyes widened. She slowly exhaled and her body started to relax. I put my bag on my desk and stood there as she gave me an appreciative look.

Edward must have said something because she focused back on the conversation. "Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes. Bella is here, do you want her to leave?" I felt my eyes bugging out of their sockets at the mention of my name. _What does she think she is doing?_ I had picked my bag back up and turned to leave, when I saw Alice shake her head. _WHAT?_

Tears were forming in her eyes. "Edward, calm down please. Just come to my room." She hung up the phone and tossed it on her bed. She put her head in her hands and started to breathe in and out deeply, trying to calm herself.

"Alice, he's on his way, right?" I asked nervously. I hoped that she would look at me so I could gauge her emotions, but she kept her hands over her face.

"Yes, he'll be here in a few minutes," she said breathlessly, almost defeated.

"Okay, call me when he's left. I'll be around campus, maybe I'll go to the libra…" I stopped immediately when her head snapped up. _PANIC_.

She jumped up and ran to me, grabbing my hand. "Please, don't go!" she pleaded. "Edward said you didn't have to." _What? Why? He said I didn't have to go?_

"Bella, please, I know I can do this if you are here. Remember, we are supposed to sisters and I need your help. I had my family with me before. I haven't had a chance to tell Emmett, and I certainly can't call my parents yet."

I sighed loudly, rolling my eyes. "Fine." I felt defeated, exhausted. She had used the sister pact against me. _Damn her._ I pointed to my bed. "I'll…just be over here." _I'll just try to make myself invisible. I'm quite good at that._

I heard her exhale, "Thank you," before there was a light knock at the door. You could have missed it if you weren't listening. Alice ran to the door and opened it. There on the other side, a shell of a man I had seen just not an hour prior. _Oh my God_. Alice took him by the hand and led him into the room, the door closing behind them.

"Edward, are you okay?" she asked, concerned. He said nothing, just staring off into space. Lost.

She tried again. "Edward?" He just looked away from her.

"Edward, honey," she said soothingly, as she grabbed his hand. I watched as he tried to resist her, but she wasn't having any of that. He started to move his head, I thought it was to look at Alice but he just kept gazing around the room, stopping when he saw me. The look on his face covered many emotions: hurt, pain, anger, and betrayal. _Where did that last one come from? _ The bright, beautiful green eyes that I had seen before were now dark and desolate; my heart ached for him. He continued to look at me, and then suddenly his expression changed from hurt and pain to complete anger and disgust. My heart skipped a beat.

"How do you know James?" he asked, his voice laced with anger.

_Um…ookaayy, where is this coming from? I didn't do anything to deserve this. _"I don't know him, personally. I saw him earlier today, after our first class. I was trying to make a phone call while we were at the commons. He wouldn't stop staring at me!" I exclaimed defensively. _Why does he care, all of the sudden?_ I continued, "He creeps me out!" I couldn't get that wicked grin of his out of my mind, and I felt my body involuntarily shiver.

"That fucker!" I heard Edward growl and jumped in surprise. Damn if that wasn't freakin' hot!

Alice moved toward him. "Edward, please calm down. Here, sit," she said as she motioned over to her bed. But he didn't move. Alice grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed. "Edward, come on."

He finally moved and sat down, looking at Alice. "Earlier, when I was talking to you, you seemed distracted. Was it because of _him_?" he spat.

"Yes," she whispered.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "When you realized he was there, why didn't you tell me then?" I could tell he was getting angrier.

"I didn't know how to go about telling you. The last time" - she trailed off, she quickly glanced at me and then back to Edward - "you saw him, it didn't go very well." She sighed loudly. Edward started nodding his head, but I watched as his eyes glazed over and just stared off into space. Alice looked over at me; her expressions almost made my knees buckle. She was so nervous and scared, but she let him be for a few moments. He was so still on the bed; it was like he was a statue. Alice was getting anxious; she got up and started pacing again.

She called his name. He just sat there, motionless. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, can you hear me?" Still nothing. She took a hold of his chin and brought his eyes to her level so she could look in to them, but they wouldn't focus on her. She looked at me questioningly and I just shrugged my shoulders. I had no clue what do to or what was really going on. Then, out of nowhere, Edward started laughing. We were both taken by surprise by his sudden outburst.

Alice began to shake Edward a little, but he just continued to laugh. She shook him again and he moved his head to look at her, finally focusing on her as his laughter slowly died down.

"Edward, what is going on with you?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

He stopped laughing completely and shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing."

"You are a rotten liar, Edward!" she spat. Her emotions were all over the place. One minute she's worried, scared and now she was angry, irritated. She stood up, taking a deep breath.

"Look, I am still trying to deal with the fact that the fucker who helped ruin my life is here in Seattle, attending _this_ school. I honestly thought that I would never have to see him again." He started rubbing his face with his hands. _WOW! What the hell happened?_

"I know, I know…I wish I could have told you before you found out like this." She stopped suddenly, with a puzzled look on her face. "By the way, how did you find out?" _Edward turned to look at me, his eyes softened a little bit. What? Why was he looking at me that way?_ He turned back to Alice.

"I overheard her talking to you," he said. _Oh no!_ Alice and I gasped at his statement. _What did I do?_ I threw my hand over my mouth, feeling the blood drain from my face. _Oh my God!_ I was the reason he was in pain. _I did this!_ I knew I should have waited to call Alice. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. This was all my fault.

Alice looked over at me. "Bella! How could you?" she screeched.

_I can't believe this happened._ I felt the tears pricking at my eyes.

Edward groaned. "Alice, it wasn't her fault. She didn't know that I was following her

"She left as soon as class was dismissed. I tried to catch up to her to ask what the hell was going on, but when I did, she was on the phone. I heard her say your name, so I figured she was talking to you, but out of the blue she said _his_ name, and I fucking lost it. I started having a panic attack in the middle of the goddamn commons. The students stood there just staring at me, and I couldn't do a damn thing!"

My heart clenched when I heard this, and I wanted nothing more than to take him in my arms and tell him that everything would be okay. The tears finally fell. _Oh God!_

"Bella?" I heard him say. _Why is he even talking to me?_ I looked up at him. "This is not your fault at all. This is just a fucked up situation, and I'm sorry you that you somehow got caught in the middle of it." _Yes, it is_.

I should have kept my mouth shut. I shook my head at him. "I shouldn't have been talking about it in the open. I was still freaking out about my run-in with James earlier, and the way Alice flipped out at lunch." I rambled on as I continued to pull at my hair.

"It's alright; there is nothing we can do about it now." His speech slowed down at the end of the sentence. I looked at him and he appeared to be lost in thought, but then brought his focus back to me. "What did James want with you?"

_Seriously? _"Um…well, he introduced himself to me, and asked me some questions. He told me he was from Forks too, and then he asked if I wanted to go to a frat party with him this weekend."

His eyes widened in shock. _Now what?_

"Seriously?" he asked incredulously. I couldn't figure out what surprised him more- the fact that someone had asked me out, or that it was James who'd asked? "What did you say to him?"

I laughed inwardly at his question. "I didn't have a chance to answer him because that was when Alice came over and started going off on him." I looked over at Alice; she was looking at me. I gave her a small smile before I turned back to Edward. "But my answer would have been 'no'. He makes me feel dirty when he looks at me. He has a wicked smile, and not in a good way," I said with disgust, and I felt a shiver roll through my body again. I hated that he had that effect on me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Uh, kind of. I'm sorry, Edward; I really am. I wish you didn't have to find out that way."

He sighed. "I'm fine. I just didn't think I'd have to deal with _this_ again."

Alice moved closer to him and placed her hand on his knee. "I'll help you get through this, Edward. I don't want to lose you again," she said, her voice wavering.

"You are not going to lose me, Alice. It's not as bad as it was back then. It still hurts and I'm still angry as hell, but I'm dealing with it." He laughed. "I just hope I don't have another panic attack like I did back at the commons." He paused for a moment before he continued. "I think I'm going to go, Sis. I want to get some rest before my next class." He looked over at me. "Will you be there?"

I nodded. Of course I would be there; I had to be. He got up from the bed and started toward the door, but Alice stopped him. I knew she was still worried. But when he turned around, she pulled him into a hug and he wrapped his arms around her; she squeezed him tighter.

"Alice…I…can't breathe," he said with a breathless chuckle. _Too cute_.

She pulled back and let go, giggling. "Sorry."

"I will see you later," he said. He headed toward the door again, but stopped, turned around, and looked over at me. "See you in class." _Oh, most definitely!_

I nodded and said, "Bye." But it came out more like a whisper. He walked over and opened the door. Alice followed him, watching as walked down the corridor. She let out a huge sigh, turned, and closed the door. She slowly walked back over to her bed, climbing up and sitting against the wall. She lifted her head, looking at me with a blank expression.

"Alice, I'm so sorry that all this happened." I felt like I was about to freak out again.

"Don't be. It actually went a little better than I anticipated. It was touch and go there for a while. I'm just trying to calm down!" she said, letting out a deep breath.

I let out a huge sigh of my own. "Wow, that felt good."

Alice started to giggle. "I know," she said. "He seemed to be okay toward the end, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it seemed so. He was even chuckling." I smiled at her, finally getting myself out of bed, and stretching my legs. I headed over to the kitchenette. "You want something to drink?"

She picked up her cell phone and stared at it. "Can you grab me a bottle of water?"

"Sure." I grabbed two out of the fridge and walked over to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah…I'm just not sure what to tell my family, and I have to let Emmett know because he's here and can keep an eye out for James and Tanya."

_WAIT! Who the hell was Tanya, and what did she have to do with this? _

"Who is Tanya?" I asked, confused. She must have realized that she said something wrong because she gasped, and her eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Oh shit! Um, I'm sorry I can't…" she said nervously. She looked like she was about to freak out.

"You can't what?" _What is she keeping from me?_

"I shouldn't have even said her name… I wasn't even thinking… I can't tell you anything about it... It's not my story to tell," she stammered, pleading with her eyes for me to drop it. _Who was she to Edward, and what does she have to do with James?_

"I'll leave it alone…_for now_," I said, arching a brow.

"Thank you." She breathed a sigh of relief. _I'm not going to let this go_.

"I have class at six and I need to relax for a bit…it has been a long day. Are you going to yours?" I asked knowing hers was due to start soon.

"I think so. I did email my teacher though. I told her I had an emergency come up, and I wasn't going to go after I got the call from Edward, but since it's over, I guess I can go. Honestly, I could use a distraction." She got up off her bed and started to freshen up.

When she came back out of the bathroom, I walked over to her and gave her a hug. "It's going to be okay, Alice. Hopefully, you and your family can help him through this and he can move on."

She pulled back and looked at me. "Yes, and I know with _your_ help that he can get over this too." She had that damn gleam in her eye again. _Uh, uh!_ She caught the expression on my face and burst out laughing. "Girl, give me some credit here. I'm just talking about being friends." For some reason, I didn't believe her. She let me go, walking over to get her books and bag, I could have sworn I heard her say, 'For now' under her breath, but I couldn't be sure. _What the hell is she planning?_

"Let me go, and I will after your class tonight. Do you want to grab something to eat later?"

"Yeah, sounds good. What time does your class get out?" I asked.

"Well, normally it should last until five-ten but since it's the first day we may be released early. I still need to call Emmett, and I'll do that after my class. He's going to be livid. I'll call you when I get out of class okay?" _I'd hate to piss that big guy off. He looked like he could pummel a building into rubble_

"Yeah, sure. I think I am going to take a quick nap. I'll have my phone near me." As Alice left for class, I got into bed, pulling my covers up over my head and sighed. _What a freaking day!_ I let sleep overtake me.

**~*Twilightgirl224**

**A/N: **_**I love to hear from you. Tell me what you think. Tanya will make her way into upcoming chapters so please be patient. Bella is definitely being Bella in this chapter, giggle, there is no changing that, but I have plans for her!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**C/N: This is a continuation of his first day. He has a little fun with Alice and Jasper, at least he thinks so. Later on, he calls home – he wants to get back in touch with his family. He pushed them away for so many months, that he needs to bring them back into his life, somehow. **_

EPOV

I shot up in bed, covered in a cold sweat. I can still hear Tanya's laughter echoing in the back of my mind. This was hell, what the FUCK? I rub my hands over my face trying to ease the tension but it's not helping. I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I splash cold water over my face. I lift my head up to stare at myself in the mirror. Ugh! I look like shit. A small chuckle escaped. I dried my face and I walk out of the bathroom.

I walk over to my bed searching for my phone. It must be buried somewhere. I toss the sheets back and I see my phone wedged in between the wall and the mattress. I grab it and I look at the time, 4:47. Damn, I slept for over two hours. I still have over an hour before my next class starts. I should go get something to eat. I text Jasper.

_**Where are you? – Edward**_

While I wait for him to answer, I freshen up and I change my shirt. I hear my phone go off. I look at the screen and I see a text from Alice. I roll my eyes and tap the screen.

_**Just checking on you. I love you : ) – Alice**_

I snicker, she is as bad as Mom. *sigh* I should call my mother and tell her what happened today. But before I do that, I answer Alice, because knowing her she'd be here banging down my door if I don't answer.

_**I'm fine Alice. I took a nap and I'm about to get something to eat. – Edward**_

I grab my things and my bag in case I have to hit it to class after dinner. When I'm halfway down the corridor my phone goes off again. I pull the phone from my back pocket and see it's a response from Alice.

_**Do you mind some company? – Alice**_

I type out a quick response.

_**Sure sis, meet me at the dining hall. – Edward**_

Just as soon as I sent that off, I get a text from Jasper.

_**I'm just getting done with class. What are you up to? – J**_

Hummmmm. This could be fucking hilarious.

_**I'm heading to dinner, wanna join me? – Edward**_

Alice responds.

_**I'll be there in 20 mins. C YA! – Alice**_

Oh so good! I start laughing hard.

_**Yeah, I'm almost there now so I'll see you shortly. – J**_

_**I'm on my way. – Edward**_

This is too good to pass up. Time for some payback for my little meddling sis and a swift kick in the ass for my best friend.

**~*MoTH*~**

I make my way thru the commons with my head down and my hands in my pockets. I arrive at the dining hall. When I walk thru the door I scan the room. I see Jasper sitting at the same table we were at this weekend. I walk over to the table and sit down in front of him. His back is too the entrance. He won't be able to see Alice coming in. Perfect! He looks up as I sat down and his expression changed from calm to confusion. I have a grin plastered on my face.

"Edward, are you okay?" He asked, still confused.

"Yeah, I'm good." I couldn't help but snicker. This is going to be so fucking funny.

"You look like the cat that ate the canary, spill dude!"

"Nothing." I shrugged, feigning innocence.

"You totally suck at lying man!" He started laughing.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to go grab something to eat and drink," Trying to change the subject. I get up and head towards the food area. I grab a tray and order some food. I pick it up and head towards the drink machine. When I turn around I saw Alice walking through the door. I immediately smirk. She looks around and when she sees me she smiles. I am trying so hard not to fall over laughing right now. She walks over to where I am standing, puts her arms around my waist and gives me a tight hug.

"Hey." She hays looking up at me.

"Hey shorty." I said mockingly, she pulled back and slapped my arm.

"What's that for?" I say with a faux frown. She pouted and I pulled her back into another hug.

"For being a jerk." She wiggled free but she started laughing. As we make our way back to my table, her laughter stopped abruptly. I heard her breath catch. I turned to look at her and her face had turned the brightest red you can imagine. I look over at Jasper, he was the epitome of pale. I looked back and forth between the two of them and I just lost it. I had to put my tray down on the table before it fell out of my hands. After I did, I doubled over in laughter, my eyes were streaming tears. I totally needed that after this fucked up day I had, but it came at the expense of my sister and my best friend.

I heard Alice growl. I turned to look at her through my blurry eyes, which didn't help cause I could barely see anything. She turned quickly to leave, but I shot my hand out to catch her.

"Oh come on Alice, sit down with me!" I couldn't help but giggle now, but she sat down. I looked over at Jasper. He has gone from being pale to bright red. I bit back a snort.

"Are you okay Jasper?" he shook his head no. "What's wrong man?" I had a wicked smile gleaming from my face. He looked from Alice to me and narrowed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he almost growled at me, I was kind of taken aback by that. Very rarely does Jasper lose his cool, but my grin grew impossibly bigger. I am such an ass.

"Something neither of you have the balls to do yourself!" I exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to challenge that statement.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked incredulously. I saw Jasper shaking his head no. I ignored it.

"Come on you two! This is stupid." I said with a huff. I look over at Alice, "How do you feel about Jasper?" She snapped her eyes to me and they were wide with shock, then a few seconds later her face blazed from the blush that returned tenfold. I had to stifle the laughter that was building again in my chest.

"I'm not doing this here." She hissed at me and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why not?" Not really surprised by this. They have been dodging this for over a year. I look over at Jasper.

"are you going to avoid this too?" I stared at him. They both were beet red.

"Do I need to bring up what I have been told to me by both of you?" Both sets of eyes widen even more in surprise.

"NO!" They both screamed in unison. Well at least they both agree on something right now.

They both looked at each other and gasped. I sat back and smiled, but after about five minutes of silence my patience was wearing thing. I know they just need a good stiff kick in their asses, but they are both so fucking stubborn. At least this is keeping Alice busy so she doesn't have time to meddle in my personal life, or lack thereof. I decide to break the silence because I was about to go insane, again!

"Soooooooo… who wants to start?" I said nonchalantly. Neither of them said anything but Alice fidgeted in her seat. I let out a large sigh. "For over a year you guys have side stepped around each other and your feelings." Jasper's face was back to his stoic calm expression. Alice on the other hand was fidgeting even more. I looked down at my phone, 5:30. I've got thirty minutes before class. There is nothing but silence. Ugh!

"Alright, seeing as this is going nowhere, I'm going to head to class. Maybe I'll find more conversation there!" Not likely but these two were pissing me off now. I got up and dumped my trash. I came back to the table and they weren't even looking at one another. I grabbed my bag and walked towards the exit muttering 'stubborn' under my breath.

**~*MoTH*~**

Well, I take a deep breath, what to do now? I turn and look back into the dining hall, Alice and Jasper are still sitting at the table. I roll my eyes and with that I begin to walk towards the commons. I have some time to kill, maybe I should call my mother. I miss her and I want to hear her voice. I wonder if Alice has said anything to my parents yet. I hope not. Maybe I'll wait until after class tonight.

The cool breeze feels good. It's been a long day. A total mind fuck of a day if I say so myself, but it's not as bad as it was before. I wasn't expecting the anxiety/panic attack. Hearing James' name was a shock, but now, it makes me wonder about something. Why was James asking Bella out? Thinking about that idea alone makes a growl start forming in my chest.

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

I put that out of mind immediately! I put my focus back on James. If he is here, where is Tanya? The baby? When I find myself thinking about her and the baby I feel a traitor tear escape and fall down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away. I am done crying over her. I have to be! I need to get on with my life, but I still wonder what is going on. The baby would have been born by now. Is she here? Is she in Forks still? Did she move to Alaska to be with her family? If so, where does James fit in with her? IF they are still together, why is he trying something with Bella? I need to make sure she stays far away from him. He's nothing but bad news. I'll just have to make sure to mention that again. I know that she said she is creeped out by him, but just to be on the safe side.

I snap myself out of my inner monologue and check the time, 5:45. Okay, time to head to class. I look up to see where I had wandered to during my inner dealings. I see the Fine Arts building; good I'm not that far from the English building. I change direction and head towards my classroom. While I walk, I texted Alice.

_**So, are you talking to me? ; ) – Edward**_

__I smile and tuck my phone into my pocket. I arrive at the front of the English building and I'm about to walk inside when my phone goes off. I snort and remove the phone from my pocket and tap the screen. The text pops and I about fall over from laughing.

_**HELL NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO ME! YOU ARE AN ASS! – Alice**_

I make it up to the same room I was in earlier today but this time I go to one of the chairs in the back and sit. I text Alice back.

_**Aw come on lil sis. I was just trying to help you guys out. – Edward**_

She instantly replies.

_**THAT was not trying to help! You set me up! I was mortified! *growl* - Alice**_

Now I feel like shit, slightly, but it's their own damn fault. They are so fucking stubborn. I wonder what Jazz is doing.

_**I'm sorry. I just wanted to help, honest. You guys would be cute together. Although if he hurt you, I'd kill him! – Edward**_

Now to check on Jazz.

_**You gonna kill me? Do I need to find another place to crash tonight? – Edward**_

__As soon as I send the text I look up and scan the room. I look at the time, 5:54. Where was Bella? A wave of dread flows thru me. _Where is this coming from?_ I don't even know her. Why am I worried about this girl? But as soon as the though crosses my mind, Bella walks into the room and relief washes over me. I feel my body relax. _This is too much! Seriously!_ She looks around the room and our eyes meet. She nods at me and I see a slight blush touch her cheeks. I chuckle slightly. She goes to sit down at one of the desks in the center of the room and places her bag next to the desk. When she sat, she leaned down to her bag and pulls something out. A leather bound book. She places it on her desk and she opens it. She pulls a bookmark of some kind out of it and places it on the desk. She leans back into her bag and pulls out a pen, placing it in the crease of the book. As she was sitting back in her chair the professor walks in the room. I watch as her attention is moved to the professor and then back to her book. Okay, I'm freaking myself out. I'm watching her every move. Cut this shit out already, you damn freak!

Professor Marcus grabs everyone's attention to begin the class. This class is just an extension of the English class from earlier. This lab is supposed to help with the papers that will be due throughout the semester. I found out earlier that Alice won't be in this lab because she could only get in under a different section. Her lab is on Wednesday. So, it's just Bella and I. I felt a smile trying to form. I shut that shit down immediately. FUCK!

With a sigh I look up at the professor. He is still in the middle of giving the introduction to the class. I see I'm not the only student who took advantage on the sofas and chairs, but the majority of the class is sitting at the desks. The professor asks for the students who are sitting in the lounge area, as he called it, to please find an empty desk. I roll my eyes. Great. I gather up my things and I stood up to find a seat.

Just my luck, I have three to choose from. One is at the far end of the area next to a very tall, muscular man who could totally kick my ass without even breaking a sweat. Another is near a seriously gothic girl and lastly, the one that is behind Bella. I take the least of the three evils, I sit behind Bella.

Once we are all seated, the professor begins to hand out the syllabus. He handed Bella some for the row, she took them and then she turned around to pass them back. She took one look at me and froze. Her eyes widened and then I saw a faint blush creep up on her cheeks. She took one, handed the rest to me and I raised my hand to take them. When I reached over to grab the papers from her my fingers grazed over two of hers. As soon as I did that I felt a spark, something like a shock of electricity. I gasped and I heard a sharp intake of breath come from Bella. For a Moment, I let my fingers linger over hers and I felt a slow burn move its way from my fingers up thru my arm. I finally looked up at her and I watched as her eyes went from shock to confusion then to wonder. _What the hell was that? _She quickly moved her hand away and then she turned back around in her seat. I just sat there staring at my hand like an idiot.

Professor Marcus started to go over the syllabus and that brought me back to the present. I looked down at the syllabus; I couldn't focus on it. My mind couldn't - no wouldn't - allow me to get over what just happened. Where did that come from? I shake my head in disbelief. It had to be some sort of fluke, static electricity or something. I try to turn my focus back to the syllabus; no luck. I move my gaze to the front of the class and I watch as the professor walks back and forth. When he passes in front of Bella, my eyes move to focus on her. They moved over her form, starting from the top of her head and then moving slowly down, roaming over her thick, curly mahogany hair. Out of nowhere she takes her hand and ran it through her hair. As it settled back down, I felt the slight breeze from that movement and with it a light fragrance that seems to invade my senses. Hummm strawberry. I saw her shiver and then move forward in her chair a bit. My eyebrow furrowed in confusion. Is she okay? I saw her wrap her arms around her middle. She fidgets in her seat. I hold back a chuckle. Jumpy little thing isn't she?

The professor finishes up with the syllabus and then releases us for the night, 6:45. I gather up my things and get up from my seat. I look up and around, Bella was nowhere to be seen. She is avoiding me; I think. I scoff at the thought. She might still be upset about the events from earlier today; but none of that was her fault. I made my way out of the building and I look around, sliding my hands into my pockets. I see Bella walking towards our dorm buildings. I decide to follow, just in case James shows his face again. I grin wickedly, but that thought makes my grin turn to a pursed thin line. I see red. I would love to see him right now. I feel my face heating in anger and a growl escaped my lips. I had to stop for a few seconds to get my breathing under control. I lean against a tree for a bit and start taking deep breaths in and out. Soon my anger subsides, minutely, but enough to allow me to continue. I turn my head back to the path Bella was on towards the dorms and she is further along than a Moment ago. I start walking again and I walk faster towards her. My long strides are an advantage over her so I was able to close the distance between us quickly. I kept the same space between us before. I watched as she made it up to her room and then I headed to mine. I was standing in front of my door. *sigh* I grabbed the handle, but before I opened the door I turn around and gaze into the common area of the dorm. I watch as my fellow students; their talking, chilling, joking around – basically having fun. I miss 'living life'. I turned back to my door, open it and walk into the empty room.

**~*MoTH*~**

I walked into my room and tossed my bag onto my bed. I heard the door close a second later. I plopped down onto the chair at my desk. I prop my elbows on my knees and let my face fall into my hands. I rub my face with my hands and then they find their way into my hair. I started raking my hands through it. I take a deep breath in and then after a few seconds I let it out. I get up and move into the kitchenette and open the little fridge. What I wouldn't do for a good stiff drink right about now. I laugh, so not going to happen. I go to grab a water and I hear my phone go off. I pull the phone from my back pocket. I look at the screen, it's from Jasper.

_**I'm not mad, just shocked. That wasn't something I saw coming anytime soon. – J**_

I sigh in relief but still annoyed by those two. If they want to be miserable and continue to pine away after one another, more power to them.

_**I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drop that on you like that. – Edward**_

I kind of did but I feel like such an ass about it now.

_**It's all good, but I'll figure Alice and me out on my own. – J**_

__Yeah right.

_**Okay, got it. BTW, I need to talk to you tonight when you get it. Kind of a fucked up situation. – Edward**_

_**Is everything okay? R U Okay? – J**_

I take a deep breath. Not going to get into this now.

_**Kind of, but better to talk in person. – Edward**_

_**Understood, I'll see you in an hour. – J**_

_**See ya then. – Edward**_

Good, I have an hour. Time to call my parents. I'm kind of dreading it but I really want to talk to my mother. I _need_ to hear her voice. When I left last week I really didn't leave in high spirits. I was still wallowing in my self-deprecating hell. *sigh* I walk over to my bed and crawl up into it. I lean up against the wall and my legs are kind of hanging off the edge of my bed. I take in a deep breath and hold it in for a bit. After about a minute I let it out. I pick up my phone, tap the screen and scroll the contact list searching for 'MOM'.

I press the send button on my phone and slowly bring it to my ear. After two rings there's a surprised 'Hello' that answers.

"Mom?" I try to keep my voice from cracking. I missed her so much.

"Hey honey, how are you?" voicing her shock and concern.

"I'm doing okay. Kind of a rough day though." I sigh lightly.

"What happened? Something wrong with you classes?" I heard the concern in her voice. She has no idea.

"School is fine. As a matter of fact, Alice is in one of my classes and Jasper is my roommate." I gave her half a chuckle thinking back to dinner.

"That's good you have them around, but if school and classes are fine, what caused it to be so rough as you put it?" the concern still evident.

"Guess who Alice ran into earlier today?" I can feel some of the anger wanting to make its way to the surface. I fight to keep it down so I don't freak my mother out.

"Who?" her interest roused.

"James." I couldn't stop the growl that formed his name, but I was still fighting the anger.

"OH!" her voiced raised a few octaves. "Are you okay?" she was trying to keep herself calm, because her voice was staring to waver.

"I was shocked when I heard about it. I had a slight panic attack." Feeling slightly embarrassed telling her about it, but there was never any judgment from her. I heard her growl this time. It was low, but I think it was a growl. "Mom?" I called.

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm sorry about that. I hate when you hurt and I can't do anything to help you." I can hear her voice crack at the end.

"It turned out okay. Alice talked me through what happened. I don't think Alice wanted to tell me, but if it wasn't for overhearing Bella talk to Alice about _him (growl) _I may not have found out right away."

"Who's Bella?" I wasn't expecting that question. _Damn_, I can't get a brake now can I? I roll my eyes.

"Alice's roommate. Hasn't Alice called you yet?" Obviously not, unless my mother was allowing me to tell her everything first.

"No she hasn't, I was expecting her to call today. She usually calls me every day." She sounded a little hurt, but she got over it quickly. "So, how does Bella know James?"

"Well, that is a strange circumstance. She told me that he tried to ask her out to a party this weekend." I'm still kind of peeved over that one. He's seriously deranged if I'm going to let him take advantage of her.

"WHAT?" Well she obviously couldn't hide her amazement either. I snorted.

"Um, yeah, that was kind of my reaction too." I laughed a bit.

"Well Edward, that makes me wonder about…um…well, you know who." I love her for trying to spare me any discomfort. "I thought _they_ were together."

"Uh…um, Mom, have you seen her in Forks?" I really didn't want to know, but it would give me a small answer to the bigger question.

"No, I haven't." Kind of no surprise there. "I haven't seen her for over a month." So she must have left shortly after I saw her during the summer. Where is she?

"Okay, interesting."

"Just a little, but don't let this take you over again, please." I can hear the pleading in her words.

"I'm truly fine Mom. I'm working things out and I'm actually feeling better. It was just kind of a shock earlier that's all." It seems like I'm trying to convince myself of that, but I know it can be touch and go. It's going to take time and patience on my part, hopefully I don't pull my family and friends into my shit again.

"I'm glad to hear that baby." I grin; I love when she calls me that. I'm such a Momma's boy and I have missed having her in my life for the past six months, but that is all on me.

"I have missed you. I'm really sorry about these past few months. I didn't mean to push you guys away. I will try to make it better." Really not wanting to cry right now, but I can feel the damn traitor tears sneaking up on me.

"I have SO missed you too and you have NOTHING to be sorry for. I wish I could have helped you, but I know it was something you had to work through. I didn't like it, because as a mother I'm supposed to help and support my babies, but I had to let you sort it out." Okay, lay the guilt trip on why don't you. But, I totally deserve it, every last bit of it. I will make this up to my family soon.

"I know, I know. I'm working on it, promise. Hey, is Dad there? I want to say hi to him or is he at the hospital?" I hope that he is there.

"Hold on, he's here." I hear her call out to my father in the background. "Carlisle, come here." I hear him answer her. "What's up hun?" She must have handed him the phone. "Here, it's Edward." I heard a sharp intake of breath before the phone was put up to his ear.

"Edward?" He sounded quite surprised.

"Hi Dad, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I miss you." I can totally say that to my father and not be a sissy. But I truly did miss him.

"I'm fine son. I miss you too. How are things with you? School?" I bite back a snicker, typical father.

"School is fine. I'm fine." Should I say something or let my Mom tell him what happened. No, I need to tell him. I shut them out for too long. "Um, something happened today that kind of shocked me. Alice ran into James here at school. He was trying to ask her roommate out to a party this weekend."

"OH! Um, really? Are you okay?" He asked with concern.

"Yeah, like I said, it was kind of a shock, but I'm dealing with it." feigning acceptance, not letting the anger seep through.

"Are you sure?" I can hear the doctor wanting to break into this conversation. I smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Alice helped talk me through everything this afternoon. I just have to take it one day at a time. I'm not going to lie, I would love to kick his ass still." Laughing, but then I get serious, "But Dad, if he does anything to the people I care about I won't hesitate to make sure he can't do it again." I say with so much confidence in it that it surprises me. I wouldn't, will not, let him fuck with me or anyone I know again!

"I understand, but Edward, please be careful. I don't want you hurt or worse." He sounded kind of pained at the end.

"Dad, everything will be fine. I'll make sure of it!" More of that confidence still radiating from me. "Let me run, I have to talk to Jasper about what happened and I have to find a way to tell Emmett too." Need to figure that out soon.

"Alright son, let me know if anything else happens. Be safe." Over protective father definitely making his presence known.

"I will Dad, promise. Love you."

"Love you too." With that I press the end button on my phone and get up off my bed. I check the time. Jasper should be back at the room in a few. I pick up the water bottle and it has grown warm. I put it back in the fridge and take another out. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But there is something still weighing on my mind and I need to figure it all out. Soon.

_**A/N: I had to leave it off here, otherwise this would have been a seriously long chapter. I may end up doing a part II to this one, not sure yet. I hope everyone is enjoying this as much as me. I will have an update in about a week. I have some ideas rambling around in my head that I need to put down and sort out. I love your feedback and I hope everyone sticks with me! **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**C/N: Thanks for the reviews. I glad everyone is sticking with me. I'm having a lot of fun right this and I have so many ideas that will play out in the next few chapters. Including, the return of one of the most hated characters in this story. So many of you want to slap the hell of her. Kudos! Love it! **_

_**Anyway, this chapter is Bella's side of dealing with everything that's been going on. I know it is a lot for her to deal with, but it will get easier for her soon, maybe ;)**_

_**I'll leave it there for now. Enjoy!**_

BPOV

It's been almost an hour since Edward left out room. I am sitting on my bed, going over everything that happened through the course of the day. The whole thing with James is still freaking me out, but knowing he has something to do with Edward and someone named Tanya is confusing and poor Edward, seeing him hurt like that. I just wanted to find a way to take it all away. I really don't understand why I feel so protective of him. I just met him for crying out loud but, when I saw him in English today, I felt some kind of a tugging or pulling sensation from the moment I walked in the door and when my eyes met his for the first time that feeling intensified.

I can't explain why. It's the feeling; no the need, to be near him. I have never felt anything like it before. It's so strange to me, I don't know what to do about it. But, right now I just need to keep my distance from him. He needs his family right now and I am a complete stranger to him. I want to help and I'll always be there for Alice, but it would be for the best. Alice has been a good friend to me. She helped me when James came up to me at the deli. I saw a different side of Alice, she's always so bubbly and full of energy, but it was like she was full of rage and hatred. I was surprised by the amount of negative energy radiating from her, but I understand now, somewhat, after what happened later. There is so much information to filter through and yet there is obviously more information still not being said.

I sat up and pushed my back flat up against the wall. *sigh* I ran my hands through my hair. I've been sitting too long in this position. I haven't moved from this spot since the second Edward walked into our room. I pushed my legs out in front of me so I could stretch. I look over to right and I see my phone. I pick it up and glance at the time. It's only 4:15; I have almost two hours to go before my final class of the day. My heart skips a beat because I realize that I will be in the class with Edward by myself, again! *groan*

I glance over at Alice, she is curled up on her bed and she's talking on her phone. My brows furrow, I must have been in my own world because I didn't even notice she was talking before. WOW!

"…it was bad at first, but he seems to be okay now." She said. Is she talking about Edward?

"He was shocked when he found out that James was here. He said he had a panic attack of some sort." Yep, Edward. Alice kind of got quiet at the end.

"Um, he overheard my roommate talking to me about him on her phone." She looked up at me and expression changed to one of apology. I grimaced. I still can't believe that happened.

"I saw him when I went to lunch. He was trying to ask my roommate out. Can you believe that?" she scoffed. I can hear the anger building in her voice and her face is getting a little flushed. I scoot off my bed and wander to the kitchenette. I open the small fridge and grab a water. I turn to Alice, pointing to the bottle of water and silently ask her if she wants a water. She nods. I grab another water and then I walk over to her bed. She looks up and mouths 'Thank you' as I hand her the bottle of water.

She snorted, "I was ready to rip his throat out!" My eyes widen in surprise by that remark. I really don't ever want to get on her bad side.

"Bella was really freaked out by James." I shudder at the mention of his name. Makes my skin crawl. I go back to my bed, climb up, sit back and relax while I listen to Alice continue to talk about the events from today. Hmmm, I wonder who she is talking to.

"She was here when Edward came to our room. She feels really bad about how he found out even though Edward told her it wasn't her fault." Yes it is, but I'm not going to say anything about it. She sighed.

"Emmett, it wasn't her fault. She didn't know he was behind her. She was freaking out about James and how Edward was going to react. We were kind of freaking out together." I laughed at that comment and Alice grinned at me.

"Bella's cool. I've kind of adopted her as our sister." She winked at me. Now I grin. 'Our' sister, wow!

"Emmett, you are such a dork, but I love ya!" she's giggling now. "But, seriously, can you let Rosalie know and tell her I'll call her later. We need to have a girls' day out this weekend." She looked at me and mouthed, 'All of us'. I look at her confused. 'What?' She smiles.

"Just keep an eyes for him and…" she trailed off and looked at me, "…Tanya." She slowly added. My eyes narrowed and she turned away from me. She continued, "I'll call Mom and Dad later. I hope they don't freak out." She sighed, "I will….Thanks big brother. When will I see you?...Perfect, I'll talk to you later! Love you." She hangs up, looks up at me and smiles, but, the smile fades when I don't return it. My eyes were still narrowed at her, frustrated.

She swallowed, "What?" I roll my eyes and huff.

"Nothing." I'm annoyed. She's keeping something from me and I know it has something to with Edward. Ugh! I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. Pathetic! Just drop it Bella. Still annoyed but needing a distraction.

"How's your brother?"

"Emmett?" she smirks.

"Yeah." Rolling my eyes, she is such an evil little thing.

"He's fine. He's done with his classes for the day and he's waiting for Rosalie to get home." She smiles.

"What did he say about the James and Edward situation?" sounding a little eager for information. Her eyes widen a bit but then they relax.

"He was upset by what I told him. He was ready to go on a murdering spree." She starts laughing, "Emmett has a massive issue when it comes to protecting his family. Sometimes he can go to the extremes." I laughed, I can totally picture that. Big guy!

"After what happened to Edward earlier this year, he was ready to rip James limb from limb…Edward had to talk him down…well, not talk him down, more like pleaded with him not to go after them." She takes a deep breath and lets it out.

She said them. Them who? James? Tanya? Ugh! Never mind, this is too much for one day.

"Wow." Was all I could muster. I'm so tired, but I have class to get to soon.

"But Emmett has always been like that." She starts laughing again, "He's the reason I've barely had any boyfriends growing up. Edward is just as bad."

I start to snicker, "Aww, how cute. It must be nice to have protective brothers?"

"Not all the time. Sometimes they can be overbearing. Emmett scares the guys off with his muscles," she snorts, "Edward scare them with intimidation…he can look pretty scary sometimes."

This time I start giggling, "I can't picture him as scary or intimidating, he's too cute for that!" I throw my hand over my mouth as soon as that came out. Opps, I can't believe I just said that. I'm mortified and I know my face is flaming red because my cheeks are burning from the intensity. Alice isn't helping with my humiliation, she is doubled over from laughing so hard. I bury my head in my pillow wishing it would open up and swallow me whole.

"Bella!" she said breathlessly, barely able to get that out. *groan*

"Come on Bella, why are you hiding?" her laughter dying down a little.

"How embarrassing!" I sit up rubbing my face with my hands.

"It's all good girl. I won't say anything." She winks at me and I blush harder. I roll my eyes and she grins.

"Please don't," I whimper. I grab my bottle of water and take a huge gulp.

"I wouldn't do that to you Bella." She seemed surprised by my plea.

"I know, but I don't want him to think I'm some crazy person or something." I groan inwardly this time.

She rolls her eyes at me, "He's not going to think you're crazy. Although, I might be inclined to think you are!" She said teasingly.

"Very funny!" I said sarcastically. She was giggling, but then she sat up on her bed and wiped away the left over tears from her eyes and cheeks. She must have forgotten to tell Emmett something because she grabs her phone and starts typing away on it. That reminds me, where's my phone? I glance to the left and then my right. I pick up my phone and check the time, 4:50. *sigh* What to do? Well, I really didn't eat during lunch and I don't need my stomach rumbling in class. I need to eat something, anything. I'm not really hungry though. Too much happened today and my appetite sort of disappeared.

Alice's phone goes off, she smiles and starts typing away on it again. "I had to check on Edward," she looked up at me. I smile, I get it. I would too if I could. _Seriously, get a grip woman!_

I get up off my bed and stretch. There is so much tension in my body, my muscles ache. I head back to the kitchenette and I grab a granola bar. I really don't want but it better than nothing. Alice's phone goes off again and I hear her squeal.

"I'm going to meet up with Edward for dinner; do you want to come with me?"

"No, I really just want to relax before class." She looks like she was about to pout, but then she saw the look on my face and then her expression changed. She was very apologetic.

"I'm really sorry about everything that happened today." I could see the remorse in her eyes now.

"I now you are. This wasn't something that anyone could have seen coming, unless you're psychic." I snort. She starts laughing and I look at her like she is crazy.

"You know, I used to be able to see things before they happened when I was younger. I wished I still had a touch of that today. It would have saved some grief and pain." Her voice wavered at the end. I go over to her bed, crawl up next to her and put my arm around her shoulder.

"It's going to work out in the end, hopefully. Edward seemed to be okay when he left earlier and you'll see him shortly. So you'll be able to see that for yourself." Trying to give her some positive re-enforcement.

"He seems to be fine, for now, but that could all change if…" she trailed off and looked out the winder. If what? Damn it! Forget it, never mind. Too much! Breathe!

"Look, go to dinner. She how Edward is doing and I'll see you after class." I take my arm from her shoulder to clasp it in her hand. I begin to get off her bed and I pull gently to try and bring her with me. She nods and starts to move with me. I stand at the edge of her bed and when she gets off; she throws her arms around me and gives me a big hug. _Whoa!_

"Thank you," she whispers.

"Anytime, you know that. We're supposed to be sisters, right?" I pull back and wink at her. She giggles and I smile. She drops her arms and walks over to her desk to grab her bag. She turns to me.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" she's kind of pleading with me. Huh? What am I missing? My subconscious shrugs.

"No, I'm good. I just really want to relax. I have class in less than an hour." Truly, I just want to relax.

"Okay, I'll see you later?" I nod. She turns and heads towards the door. She opens the door, turns back to me, smiles and walks out. I watch as the door closes. I move slowly over to my bed and I plop down head first into my pillow. *groan* I would love to go to sleep right now and wake up next week sometime, but I can't. I've got class soon. *double groan* I pull the covers over my head. My mind replays the events of today from the run in with James to the emotional conversation with Edward. My subconscious decides to take a hiatus.

**~*MoTH*~**

Sometime during the emotional onslaught of images my eyes must have closed because all of the sudden my body jerked itself awake. It took me a moment to get my bearing straight. I sit up in my bed and then a quick wave of dread came over me. My class. _OH NO!_ Where the hell is my phone? I begin searching through my bed. My hand comes across a hard, smooth surface. Finally! I tap the screen and the clock read 5:41. OMFG! I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. I look in the mirror, ugh! I turn on the faucet and splash cold water over my face. I brush my teeth and fix my hair. I walk out of the bathroom removing Alice's blouse, wrinkled silk is not a pretty sight. I go to my closet, grab a t-shirt and pull it on. I quickly grab my bag and head out the door. Once I'm in the commons I check the time again, 5:52. I can't be late. I begin to walk faster, praying I don't fall on my way. I finally made it to the English building with minutes to spare and I did it in one piece.

I start to get anxious the close I get to the classroom. I want to see him again, but I need to keep my distance. My phone goes off on my way up to the second floor. I don't have time right now. He obviously has something going on and I don't want to add to the stress he might be under. I walk into the room and my first instinct is to look around. I start feeling that pulling sensation that I felt earlier today. My eyes made their way to the back of the class where the couches are. I see him, sitting in one of the chairs and he is looking at me. Wow! I'm puzzled by the look on his face. It's one of almost, relief? _What?_

My eyes are locked with his and I don't want to turn away, but I give him a slight nod and walk to an empty desk near the front. I am so screwed! I roll my eyes inwardly. I can feel my cheeks flush a bit, not much thank goodness.

I sit down and I try not to focus on that pull I feel. It only happens when I'm around him. To distract myself I lean down to grab my writing journal from my bag. I had this journal for a few years. I only write my most important thought and ideas in it. I open it to the bookmarked location. I see take a look at the bookmark and my eyes prick. Traitorous tears. I fight to keep them at bay. The bookmark was made by Jacob as a birthday gift for me one year. It's a beautiful brown, tan and blue Quileute design. *sigh* I take it out of the journal and place it on the desk. I run my fingers over the delicately weaved design. After a few seconds, I lean back down to my bag and pull out my writing pen. As I begin to right myself in my seat, the professor walks in. I watch as he makes his way up front and then I turn my attention back to my journal. I wonder what we will be doing for this class.

The professor clears his throat before he begins to speak. He begins a brief introduction to the class, going over what this class is supposed to do in conjunction with the English class. When he's done, he turns his attention to the people in the back area.

"Can the students who are seated in the lounging area please make their way to one of the empty desks in the middle here," pointing to the area where the rest of the class was sitting. I stifle a giggle. I knew Edward had to move. Then I blanch, _oh no_, please not anywhere near me. Please. I know something's up because the pull starts to intensify. What is going on? Professor Marcus begins to hand out the syllabus for the class. The person in front of me is handed a stack for the whole row, she turns and hands me the rest. I turn around to pass them back and freeze. OH MY GOD! I'm starring into the most beautifully green eyes I have ever seen. My heart skips a beat. I never really looked at _him_ before. I was so nervous and it was just an overall bad circumstance of a day, but now. I can feel the blush creeping up to my cheeks. I groan inwardly. I can't believe he had this kind of effect on me.

I go to pass him the papers when he raises his hand to take them from me, his fingers graze over mine. There was a sudden spark an electrical charge that passed between us from the touch. My fingers have this delicious tingling burn running from the place where his fingers are touching mine and it is slowly moving up my arm. I take a deep breath in. Too much! Too much! I quickly move my hand from under his and I turn around in my seat. That was seriously intense. WHAT WAS THAT?

I can't seem to wrap my mind around this. These sensations are alien to me. I have never felt them with Jacob or any guy really. Why him? Why is he so different?

I hear the professor going over the syllabus but I can't focus on him. What am I going to do? I nervously run my hand through my hair. As soon as I do that I heard a noise come from Edward, almost like a 'hummm'. _Seriously!_ Wait, was that because of me? Of course not, what are you thinking Swan? My inner self is standing ready to slap some sense into me. Get over yourself! I shudder, pathetic much! I wish I could move to another seat, but I can't. He must think I'm a lunatic or something. I shift forward in my seat, trying to put a little distance between him and I, but I can still feel him. It's not working…Damn.

Professor Marcus finishes up the syllabus and releases the class. Thank god! I pack up my things quickly and jump up from my desk. I dart to the exit and leave without looking back. I just want this day to be over with. I leave the English building and walk towards the dorm. I pull out my phone to check whose call I missed. I tap the screen and see that I missed a text from Alice.

_**I'm going to kill my brother! – Alice**_

Which one? What did they do?

_**Who? What happened? – Bella**_

__I continue on the dorms. I look around the commons. I feel a strong breeze flow through and it feels good on my face. I take in a deep breath of the fresh breeze and hold it for a bit, then, I let it out. My phone beeps.

_**Edward! Bastard tried to pull a fast one on me and Jasper. – Alice**_

Okay, what am I missing? Who's Jasper?

_**Okay, I'm lost. Who's Jasper and what exactly did Edward try and do? -Bella**_

She responds rather quickly.

_**Meet me at the dining hall please. We'll do dinner and I'll tell you. I didn't eat because of that punk. – Alice**_

__I laugh, oh this better be good!

_**Okay, I'll be there in five. – Bella**_

I'm not that far, just make a left and head back toward the commons. I walk with my head down trying to figure out what Edward did to Alice, when I almost run into someone. "I'm sorry, I wasn't wat…," I look up as I'm saying that and I freeze. The blood drains from my face. My heart is in my throat. It's James.

"Well, hello again Bella." He says with a smirk.

"Um, hello." I murmur. Oh god, not now.

"How has your day gone? I'm sorry about earlier. Alice and I have some past dealings that she can't seem to get over," he moves a little close to me and I take a small step backwards. He notices and that creepy smile begins to form on his face.

"Pretty good," I try to act calm even though my heart is going a mile a second, "final class is over and I am about to go grab some dinner." I try to move around him, he moves in front of me.

"Well I'm glad to hear that your first day went pretty well. Since you're heading to dinner, do you mind some company?" I step to the left and try to walk around him again, this time he lets me pass, but he follows me.

"Uh, well, I'm actually on my way to meet Alice," hoping by saying her name he'll leave me alone, not a chance. I hear something like a snarl come from him.

"Bella, the Cullen's are not good company to be around. Believe me. Alice is a crazy girl and Edward has some serious issues. I'd hate to see something happen to a nice girl like you." He grasps my arm and brings me to stop. I finch and try to pull away from him, but he keeps a hold of my arm, "I don't want to frighten you, but I have seen Edward get violent and he's taken advantage of people before. Alice, well she has a way of manipulating people into getting what she wants." He seems almost proud to be telling me this. _Disgusting!_

"What do you mean?" trying to play along, but really wanting to get away from him. My phone goes off, but he doesn't let me answer it.

"Sometime ago, Edward and I had some dealings over something and it got into a physical altercation, at least on his end. He did this in front of someone who was close to me at the time; she was scared something was going to happen to me." _**WHAT?**_ How could Edward do such a thing? I don't believe it. This can't be true.

"Look, just be careful who you trust and are friends with." This time he brings his hand up my face, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I shiver, it makes me nauseous.

"Thank you James, but I really need to get going, but I will take your words under advisement." I start walking towards the dining hall again.

"I hope to see you again Bella. Oh by the way, I never got _your_ answer to my invitation to the party this weekend." The evil smile was back, ugh! Can he make my skin crawl anymore?

"I'll let you know. I might be going home for the weekend, you know, to relax after the first week." I head into the direction of the dining hall. Walking a little bit faster, trying to escape.

"Okay, Bella, I look forward to hearing from you." He winks, turns and walks away.

OH MY GOD, could my day get any worse? I open the door to the dining hall and I immediately look for Alice. She's sitting at a table off to the side. She sees me and smiles, but one look at my pale face, the smile disappears and panic sets in. She stands and begins to walk but I shake my head and she stops. I walk over to the table and put my bags on one of the chairs. I turn to her and she grabs my hands.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I shake my head. I can feel my eyes begin to burn from the tears that want to form, ready to fall at any second. "What happened? I texted you. I was beginning to wonder where you were at." I can hear the concern in her voice which only makes it worse.

"James…" was all I could get out before they started falling. I heard Alice gasp and she threw her arms around me. After about a minute, I felt Alice release me only to turn and grab my bags. Then she turned and picked hers up. Once she placed them on her shoulder she turned to grasp my hand and lead me out of the building. The tears were still falling, but I managed to wipe enough to see where we were heading. She was taking me to the dorms. I heard Alice on the phone, leaving a message for someone, but I couldn't make out whom.

**~*MoTH*~**

My tears had stopped while we were walking and I let Alice continue to lead me to the dorms, assuming that we were going to go to our room. I was just allowing my mind to take break and my body to go numb. I didn't want to feel frightened right now. He really did a number on me, more than anyone has ever before. My father taught me how to defend myself, but I couldn't really get my body to do much of anything except to try and escape. He touched me. How did I let that happen? Why didn't I stop him?

I didn't realize that we weren't at our room until the door opened and a shocked Edward stood in its opening. A little taken back by where I was, I pulled on Alice's hand. She turned back to look at me. I looked up at Edward and he was looking back and forth between me and Alice. I turned to Alice again and I shook my head no.

She had a look of pure determination on her face, "Come on Bella, we need to figure all this out." Then she turned to Edward, "Can you please call Emmett, tell him and Rosalie to meet us here? Where is Jasper?" Obviously, Edward was still in a bit of shock because it took him a few more moments to respond. It took Alice to push him back into the room so she and I were able to walk into the room.

"Uh, what?...Why do I need to call Emmett?" Edward went from shock to confused, then to a touch of annoyance. Great, this is so not what I need right now. I can feel every bit of emotion from everything that happened today just finally snap my mind in half and the flood gates busted. I crumpled to the floor; thank god I was inside the room. Alice came right to my side and put her arms around me.

"Edward, please just do it!" she sounded really pissed, "James tried something with Bella again. She hasn't told me anything yet. She was late meeting me for dinner and when I began to ask what happened, she said his name and just started crying." I heard a growl come from somewhere behind me. I lifted my head, my sight blurry from the tears. I wiped them away and looked to where Edward was standing and his expression kind of confused me. He looked like he was about to explode. Was he mad at Alice?

"Alice, can we go to our room?" my voice raspy from crying, "I don't want to bring Edward into this, please," My voice breaking at the end.

"Bella, look, I don't want you to get hurt. I want Emmett and Edward to know what is going on. Everyone needs to know that James is back and possibly Tanya." I heard Edward growl again. What is going on with him?

Alice huffed, "Edward, don't start, this is also for you too. Emmett knows, but I want to make sure Rosalie and Jasper are up to date too. They are our family and friends. They worry about you, so they need to know. Now James is starting something with my friend and I don't want anything to happen to her." She turned back to me and I looked at her. That look of determination was back. She got to her feet and put out her hand to me. I took it and she helped me get up off the floor. I stumbled a bit, still overwhelmed by all this, shit. That's the best description I can come up with. She pushed me over to a bed and made me sit down.

She turned back to Edward, "Please, just make the calls!" He nodded and pulled his phone out. She moved to sit next to me and hooked her arm around my waist.

"It will be okay Bella. I won't let anything happen to you." I try to smile, but I know it came out like a grimace.

"Why is he messing with me Alice?" I croak. I heard Edward in the background; he was talking to someone on the phone. Her hold tightened.

"I'm not sure, but I have a bad feeling. Now that he knows you know Edward and me, he might take advantage of it." I felt a shiver run through my body. Why me?

"Alice, James told me to stay away from you and Edward." She gasped and I heard Edward scoff. I turn to him and he was staring intently at me.

"What exactly did he say Bella?" His face was twisted into a scowl and I can see his eyes darkening. _Whoa!_ What do I tell them?

I turn back to Alice, "Can I please have some water, my throat is really dry." How do tell them that James seemed proud and excited to tell me everything he did. He was telling me things he thought would scare me enough to stay away from them. I heard a fridge door close and then some footsteps toward me. I look up and Edward is standing next to me with a bottle of water. I flinch back a bit, his eyes are still dark and they are a little intimidating. If I wasn't freaking out right now, I would have to laugh because Alice was right; he can be scary looking when he is intimidating. His eyes softened a little in response to my reaction.

"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to upset you." His voice very soft.

"It's not you, James really frightened me and I'm still a little uneasy. I didn't mean to react like that." I reached out to take the bottle of water and he handed it to me.

"Alice, Emmett said they would be here in fifteen minutes, Rosalie just got home five minutes before I called and Jasper should be here a minute." I heard Alice sigh in relief. Edward took a seat at his desk. I opened the bottle of water and took a long gulp; the coolness of the water helping to ease my scratchy throat.

You could hear a pin drop with the lingering silence in the room. All three of jumped when we heard the turn of the door handle. When the door opened, a tall blonde guy walked into the room. I heard a sigh come from Alice and Edward got up and greeted him.

"Hey Jazz, we have company," he motioned over to us. They both looked over to where Alice and I were sitting.

"Jasper, this is Bella, Alice's roommate," pointing to me, "and you already know Alice," I heard a snicker come from Edward.

"Well, hello there darlin', nice to meet you," he walks over and offers his hand. Alice nudges me and I take his hand, "Nice to meet you, Jasper." I whisper, shaking his hand.

He looks over to Alice, "Hi Alice, how are you doing?" he was kind of tripping over the words. I smile inwardly. Obvious much!

"I'm good Jasper, thanks for asking," I could almost hear the smile in her voice. So this must be the one she was talking about earlier. Edward walks up to Jasper and clasps his shoulder, smiling, but then it slowly faded, growing serious.

"Hey Jazz, Emmett and Rosalie are going to be here shortly." Jasper turned to look at Edward in confusion, "What's going on Edward?"

"A lot and I guess we are going to go over it when everyone gets here." He looks almost nauseous right now. OH! No. No. I don't want him to be in pain.

"Does this also involve Bella here?" He looked back over to me, worry radiating from his eyes.

"Yeah, she's part of it." Edward says incensed. Is he mad at me? What did I do? I look down, twisting my fingers and biting my lip. I want to go home.

_**A/N: Well, what do you think? Questions? Comments? The next chapter will still be Bella's POV but it will contain Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. There is still so much going on right now. Hard to believe this is still the first day of school. I will have an update within a week. Hang in there with me, I love hearing all of you feedback. Love you guys!**_


	11. Chapter 105

**Chapter Notes: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I love reading them. This is a continuation of the previous chapter. Bella gets to meet the rest of the crew and hears some of Edward's **_**story**_**. I hope you enjoy!**

BPOV

Alice still had her arm wrapped around me. I leaned into her feeling myself relax a little. I'm still trying to figure out why or if Edward is mad at me. I go over what I've done today other than 'accidently' informing him about James, *groan*, I can't think of anything. The knock at the door pulls me out of my inner ramblings.

Jasper turned to go answer the door. When it opened I heard Jasper talking to whoever was at the door.

"Hey guys, what's up?" he asks. I heard a booming voice resonate his answer throughout the room.

"Jazz, man, how are you? Long time no see!" Jasper stepped back to allow them to enter. In walks a tall, muscular guy. BIG MUSCLES, wow! He comes up next to Edward and slaps his hand on his shoulder. He has short, curly black hair, bright blue eyes and a cute baby face. This was the same guy from the picture on Alice's desk. Must be Emmett. Behind him was Rosalie. She kept walking when Emmett stopped at Edward to come stand next to Alice. I looked at her and she arched her eyebrow, I shrugged. I turned my attention to everyone else in the room. I can feel the tension rising in this confined space. Alice sat up and cleared her throat.

"I'm glad everyone is here," she looked over to Edward before she continued, "Emmett already knows a little of what has happened today," Edward stiffened, "To bring everyone up to speed, we found out that James is here, attending the university. Although we don't know if Tanya is here." I watched everyone's reactions as Alice spoke. Edward relaxed a little but his face formed into a scowl. Emmett moved into a defensive position. Rosalie gasped at the news and I saw her face get red in anger. Jasper remained calm as if this is old news. How can anyone be calm during a time like this?

But Jasper was actually the first one to speak, "This is a bit of a surprise, " he looked over to Edward, "Are you okay man? Was this what you were going to talk to me about earlier?"

Edward sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine, now. There was an issue earlier, but Alice helped me through it," he looked kind of embarrassed but he smiled at her. She beamed, "and yes, I was going to tell you about James tonight, but now, everyone knows." He said, motioning to everyone in the room, sounding a little irritated. Rosalie must have noticed because she was next to speak. He face flushed with anger still.

"Why shouldn't we know about this Edward? After was happened before; Emmett felt so helpless, you wouldn't let anyone in or ask for their help. Your family and friends should be there to help support you, not let you fall. I hated seeing him like that and I'll be damned if I allow it to happen again. You are not going to shut us out again!" she said exasperated. What the hell happened?

Edward looked down, "I'm sorry that you all went through that because of _me_. I wished you hadn't and I wished it _never_ happened," his voice full of remorse. I looked over at Alice and her eyes were brimming with tears and paid. I wrapped my arm around her this time.

"Something else happen today?" Emmett said looking at Edward, to Alice and then to me. Alice nodded, "What?" he seethed. She got up from the bed and stood next to me.

"Emmett, before we begin. I was to introduce you to my friend and roommate, Bella. Some of what happened has to do with her too." Emmett's face went to one of shock and then relaxed when he looked back over to me. I stood up and walked over to him to shake his hand. Alice motioned, "Bella…Emmett, Emmett…Bella." I put my hand out and he grasped it, pulling me to him. I gasped. He picked me up and gave me a light bear hug. I giggled.

"N…Nice to meet you E…Em…Emmett," I said breathlessly. His hold loosening just a bit, then he set me down. I took a step back so I can see his face. He was smiling from ear to ear. His dimples are showing big time. Too cute!

"Nice to meet you to little one. Alice told me all about you," his smile is so infectious, I couldn't help to smile back and giggle again. I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks, he laughed. I took another step back to try to compose myself. I heard Alice begin to speak. I turned back to face her and she motioned to Rosalie, "and you remember Rosalie," I gave her a little wave and she smiled. I grinned back and Alice chuckled. They are so cool to be around.

"How are you doing Bella?" She asked. I shrug my shoulders and sigh.

"I'm okay, there was some craziness that happened today and I'm still trying to sort it all out," I tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace. I looked over at Edward and I see him running his hand through his hair and his face still reflecting the scowl, "This whole situation with James has me on edge and I'm mad at myself…" Alice cut me off.

"What?" she asked incredulously, "Why are you mad at yourself. You did nothing wrong." She seemed a little pissed by my statement.

I huffed, "This last time, before I met you at the dining hall, my reactions to him – it was like he had control over me. He took advantage of that." I heard a growl come from Edward. What the hell? "Instead of defending myself, I just let him get the best of me and I ran." I sneered, "he makes my skin crawl and my emotions go into overdrive when he is near me. My first instinct is to flee." I growl in frustration. Alice and Rosalie gasped.

"What happened?" Edward said through clenched teeth. _Seriously?_ I shivered.

"Well, I had just left our class," still looking at Edward, "I got a text from Alice," I smile remembering her first text to me, "we made places to meet up for dinner and to talk," I looked over to Alice, "When I turned back to head to the dining hall when I ran into James, literally. I honestly thing he did it on purposed, because my head was down and I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going." I say rambling, not good. I know my emotions are running haywire.

"Anyway, he apologized to me about what happened earlier saying him and Alice had some past dealings that she couldn't seem to get over – his words." She scowled, "fucker!" she mumbled. Everyone's eyes widened. I really didn't want to say the rest. *GROAN*

"That wasn't all he said," looking between Edward and Alice, both looked worried. Edward's face paled slightly.

"What else did he say?" he said in almost a whisper. What am I missing?

"Um, he was telling me some things about you and Alice. He was smug about it." Emmett started to pound his fist into his hand. Rosalie's face was turning deep red and Jasper still standing there stoic and calm. I snort softly, lucky him.

"He told me to pretty much stay away from the Cullens, you're not good company to be around," There was a mixture of chuckles, snickers and Emmett let out a loud guffaw. Glad they're taking this all in stride, but I couldn't look at them when I said the rest, so I stared at the floor.

"Alice, he basically said you were crazy and that you manipulate people into getting what you want," she let out a loud scoff, "Edward, he said you have some serious issues, that you are violent and that you take advantage of people. He told me briefly about a physical confrontation between you and him. He blames you for frightening someone he was close to. He said that she was scared for him." Edward chose at that moment to punch the wall he was standing next to and because it was a concrete support beam, we heard the crunch that came from his hand. We all gasped. He made no noise, not showing us any pain. He has to be in paid, we all heard it, but he gave nothing away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset anyone," this totally sucks.

"Did he say or do anything else Bella?" Rosalie asked. I shivered just thinking about what else he did.

"Bella?" Emmett called my name. Alice came to my side and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"It's nothing," not wanting make this any worse.

"I don't believe you," Alice said, eyebrow arched. Ugh! NO!

"Alice, don't," I pleaded.

"Bella, the look on your pale face when you walked into the dining hall isn't _nothing_!" she emphasized the last word. I sighed.

"He wouldn't let me leave when I tried to walk around him, he blocked my path. When I finally was able to get around him he grabbed my arm and when I tried to wrangle it free, he tightened his grasp." Both Emmett and Edward growled. Alice and Rosalie gasped. Jasper remained calm but I saw his eyebrow shoot up in surprise. "He told me to be careful who I trusted and was friends with, when he did he brought his hand up to my cheek to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear and his hand lingered a little," I shivered again. Alice tightened her grip and Emmett moved a little closer to me with his chest puffed out and muscles flexed, definitely a defensive posture. A stifled a laugh. I'm just glad he's on my side. I wished he had been there to kick James' ass. Edward surprised me by coming to my side and taking my hand in his.

"Bella, please stay away from him," his eyes pleading. "He was a good friend of mine until he betrayed me in the most hurtful way possible." My eyes widened, not sure what he meant by that. I wanted to know so bad, but it was his story to tell. I can feel that burning, tingling again from his touch, it's very intense right now. A lot of emotions emanating in this room tonight.

"That is not an issue on my side, but how do I keep him away from me? He wants to see me again, he asked me out again for this weekend. I told him I was going home this weekend." Edward eyes darkened and they were blazing in anger. I tried to pull my hand away and back up, but he kept me close. Sensing my shock and worry, his eyes softened and his body relaxed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You don't have to apologize Edward. This has been one big emotional roller-coaster of a day and," I laughs, "it's only the first day of classes. I'd love to see how the rest of the semester goes," I say with a smirk, hopefully he can sense that I am teasing. I see a smile playing at the corner of his mouth but nothing more. That's a start. I look down, he still has a hold of my hand. I beam inside.

"I need to find out where he's at!" Emmett's voice breaks through the silence. I jump in surprise and I feel a squeeze on my hand, but I don't look. I focus on Emmett. He's still angry and his hands are shaking.

"Emmett!" Rosalie screeched, "You will do no such thing. You are not going to go to jail over that fucker!"

"I'm going to make sure he doesn't mess with our family anymore. He's done enough. I'm sick of it, and now, what he's done to Bella. It's all the more reason to finish him." He snarled.

"Emmett man, you need to calm down," Jasper said., trying to filter some of his calmness onto Emmett.

"Listen to him, please," Alice begged. Emmett began to pace inside the room and I can see his chest heaving, hopefully he's trying to calm himself down. Then all of the sudden he came to an abrupt halt. He looked at Alice in a state of confusion.

"What about _her?"_ Her who? I felt Edward shudder. He must know who Emmett is talking about.

"Like I said, we don't know if she's here or not, but with him trying something with Bella, it makes me wonder what happened to Tanya." She looked at Edward with so much remorse in her eyes. This time I felt him stiffen. He still hasn't let go of my hand. I smiled on the inside because of this, but at the same time, my heart was hurting to see him in pain right now. I squeezed his hand in reassurance. He looked down at our clasped hands. He stared at them for a few moments. Suddenly his eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened as if in shock. He yanked his hand out of mine so quickly I gasped, hurt by the reaction. My hand felt cold, void of the burn that was there just moments before. My heart sank. He took a couple steps away from me. My eyes fell to the floor, not wanting the tears that are welling up in my eyes to betray me. Alice came up to my side and put her arm around me.

She asked Edward," Are you okay? I know this is hard for you." I hear the worry in her voice. His back is facing us and I watched as his shoulders slumped as Alice was talking to him. Then his shoulders raised and fell when he took in a deep breath.

"I'm fine," It came out so low, almost a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Emmett asked. Edward scoffed and then chuckled.

"I'm fine, just trying to deal with all this. So much happened today, it's a lot to take in," he turned around, looking at all of us, "Seriously guys, I won't allow this to set me back. Although, I want to know what James' intentions are with Bella because there is _her_ to consider." The emphasis was on her, he must be referring to Tanya. Damn it, I'm going to ask.

"Who is Tanya?" I thought I said it forcefully, but it came of soft. There was a mixture of gasps and growls. My eyes shifted to each look of shock and anger on the faces in the room. Damn! "I'm sorry," my voice cracked. Alice tightened her grip. Hopefully she is not mad at me. I take a peek in her direction, she doesn't seem to be angry, just sad and worried. I know that this is because of Edward. I looked back at Edward, his head was shaking back and forth. What?

After a few moments I hear, "She was my girlfriend," he snarled, "She played me for a fool," he started to laugh. Alice stiffened then I felt a shudder run through her. I turned to her, "Are you okay?" she shook her head no. I wrapped my arm around her. Edward turned to us, "Alice, don't worry." Probably sensing her emotions, "I'm not going to shut down. I CAN HANDLE THIS!" He was probably trying to convince himself of that more than trying to ease Alice. She flinched, but then nodded.

"I didn't mean to make you angry," tried to say, but his eyes locked on mine before I could continue, "You didn't make me angry, but it is a difficult topic of discussion for me. You kind of witnessed that earlier today." I slowly nodded. Uh yeah, for me too!

"I understand, you don't have to say anymore. I can see what this is doing to you." He shook his head no. _No!_ You don't have to do this. I don't want to see you hurt.

"Tanya was my girlfriend for over two years," He took a deep breath, "I wanted to marry her and begin a life with her," his voice was shaky. I stopped breathing. He wanted to marry her. Oh!

"I thought she was it for me, but I got a rude awakening the night I went to propose." His eyes shifted to the window, like he was lost in thought. Alice spoke up, "Edward, you don't have to do this now." Like she was pleading with him. There was no response from him. She gasped. Emmett moved towards him, but Edward stepped back from him.

"Are you okay bro?" Edward nodded, "You sure?" Emmett said with concern. Edward sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine." There's that word again. He keeps saying that and obviously it is far from the truth.

"I don't know if everyone knows the whole story," he looked between Emmett and Alice, "not even you two." I heard them both breath, "What?"

"What do you mean?" Alice exclaimed.

"You know almost all of it,…I think." He looked confused. I was still blown away by the whole marriage thing. It's not something I'm too fond of, but the thought… He sighed and then made his way to his desk. He sat down and ran his hands through his hair, his leg was bouncing up and down. He looked at all of us after a few minutes.

"I know everyone knows what happened that night," I saw everyone nod, but of course I didn't. He stopped and looked directly at me, "well, except for you Bella." He sounded nervous. He took a deep breath and proceeded to tell me what happened on Valentine's Day when he was supposed to propose to Tanya. He told me about her reaction, the affair she was having and the baby. His voice cracked and his eyes teared up at the mention of the baby. Wow, he wanted marriage and a family with her; and she tore his heart out and fed it to the wolves. BITCH! I want to rip her heart out and stomp all over it. She didn't deserve someone like Edward. What kind of person could do that to someone they supposedly 'loved' for all that time? How could someone be so cruel?

"The worst part of all this," he continued," was when she told me that she was with my supposed friend, James, and he was the also the father of her baby." I gasped. James. That, creepy-evil motherfucker. James, the one who can't keep his hand to himself. The one who tried to get me to go out with him. The one who makes my skin crawl at the mere mention of his name. **WHAT THE FUCK!** I can feel my blood boil. I'm so pissed right now.

"Seriously," I growled, "This is the same James who messed with me today?" Part of this is their fault. He's never going to leave me alone because of them. Because of Edward. He knows that I am friends with them, at least with Alice. What am I getting myself into? I need to leave. I have to think.

Edward walked up to me. I must still be seeing red because I didn't even see him move. He grasped my hand again, this time I yanked it away. His eyes give a brief glimpse of shock and then they soften.

"I'm sorry you somehow became involved in this mess," I scoffed. That's not what I would call it. "But please believe me when I say, James can be very manipulative and conniving. When he sets his mind on something, he usually finds a way to get it. Please be safe. I don't want you to get hurt. He was my friend during a bad time in my life and I know who and what he is." He looked at Alice, then at Emmett. I turned to look at them. They both had looks of confusion on their faces. I turned back to Edward.

"I can take care of myself, but thank you for your concern, Edward." I say matter-of-factly with a smirk. I can't let James have that much control over me. He scares the living shit out of me, but I need to face it and deal with it. Maybe I should take him up on his offer this weekend, see what his deal is. My subconscious is shivering in fear and my inner self is laughing in hysterics. 'Like hell you are going to do that!' I tell myself. I snort in defiance. Edward is waving his hand in front of my face.

"Bella? Are you okay?" he says concerned.

"I'm fine." Throwing his words back at him. I'm still totally pissed off and hurt. I'm pissed at the situation and I hurt for the pain and anguish that Edward has been through. I sigh inwardly. This is one big fuckery. "I think I am going to my room," I say to no one in particular.

"Bella, are you sure you are okay?" Alice asks.

"It's been a LONG day and I really need to just go lay down, relax. I just need to be by myself for a little while." I turn to look at Alice.

"Will you be here for a little while?" Almost begging her.

"Uh, yeah, I'm going to stay and talk things out with everyone. I'll be back to the room around ten. Is that okay?" Sounding unsure what to say.

"I should be asleep by then." I say with no emotion. She comes up to me to give me a hug. I loosely return the hug. I grab my things and head to the door. Emmett stops me before I take two steps.

"Bella, please be careful. Let me know if something happens. I WILL take care of him if he hurts you!" Oh! Well, what do you say to that?

"Uh, okay, I will and thank you." He pulls me into a hug, which I gratefully return. He sets me down and then pulls back to look at me.

"Since you're my sister now," he looks over at Alice and grins; then he turns back to me, "I need to make sure your safe. We take care of our own, always." I look over at Alice and she is smiling. Ugh! What is with this family? They make it so hard to stay mad. I inwardly roll my eyes, but I smile back at her. I am still kind of peeved, but hopefully a good night's sleep will help me sort through all of this.

"Thanks Emmett. It was nice meeting you, wished it was under better circumstances though." I look over to Jasper, "Jasper, nice meeting you too," I grin at him.

"Same here darlin'," he grins back.

I turn to Rosalie, "It was nice seeing you again. Hopefully we can hang out again soon."

"Same here girlie and yes, definitely soon." She waves at me.

"Alice, I'll see you later," I look at Edward, "I hope things work out for you. I am sorry for what you are and have gone through." Trying to convey my sorrow for him, not pity.

"Thank you Bella. Again, I am really sorry about all of this. Hopefully it will get better." I nod. Hopefully is right. Ugh! Okay, time to leave. I turn to head out the door and I hear everyone say 'Bye' as I walk through the door.

This has seriously been one fucked up day. It's right up there with that day with Jacob. Oh, Jacob. What I wouldn't do to be able to talk to you right now. That thought brings a tear to my eye. Once that one fell, it is quickly followed by more. The reality of today has hit me completely. Thank god my dorm room is not far and there isn't really anyone around; otherwise this would be embarrassing. I walk to my room, wiping the tears that keep falling away. I finally get the door open and I walk in, closing the door and locking it. I throw my things on my desk. I stand in the middle of the room, just not wanting to do anything. I do a complete three-sixty, not sure what I am looking for. Nothing, I guess. After about ten minutes of just standing there, I decide to go take a hot bath.

Once I'm in the tub, I sit back and let the hot water ease the tension from my body. I try not to think about anything from today, but every now and then a quick flash hits, but I knock it back. I don't want to deal with it. I will figure it out later.

I stay in the tub for almost an hour, getting out when the water begins to turn cold. I get dressed for bed and I get my books ready for tomorrow. Thank god I only have one class and a lab tomorrow. Biology, one of my not so favorite subjects but it's not too bad. Once I have all that together, I head over to my bed and set my alarm clock. Class isn't until ten-thirty so I can sleep until nine. Nice. I pull my blanket back and slip into bed. I pull the cover up over my head and I quickly let oblivion take over.

**A/N: This was a continuation of the last chapter. There was so much to get out and I needed to get over day one. I hope everyone is still with me. I love to hear your reviews. So many of you are waiting for **_**her**_** return ;). Be patient. It's coming. Please let me know what you think. Hopefully I will have an update in the next week or so up and it will be Edward's POV.**


	12. Chapter 11

_**C/N: This is Edward's POV on the meeting that is happening in his dorm room. This is a long chapter and I will have to break it up into two like I did with BPOV. **_

EPOV

Something feels off, kind of. I don't know how to explain it. Just a strange feeling, not one I can put a name to, which is weighing in the back of my mind. It's enough to put me on edge. I take a look at the time, 7:30. A moment later, I heard my phone signal I received a voicemail. Strange, I didn't hear my phone ring. I bend over to pick up my phone from my bed. I check the missed call log and nothing. I go to retrieve the voicemail when I hear a frantic knock at the door. I walk to the door and I hear Alice's voice from the message. She sounds worried and angry at the same time, but I'm not listening to the words right now. I open the door and I see Alice standing there, with Bella. My mind goes into shock when I see their faces and I slowly lower my phone. Alice's worry that was evident in the voicemail was still prevalent all over her face. Bella looked completely frightened, her eyes were red-rimmed and blood shot from crying. Her cheeks had dried trails of tears on them. What the hell is going on? When Bella saw me she seemed to get very nervous, she turned to Alice and started to shake her head no. Alice sighed and pulled on Bella's hand.

"Come on Bella, we need to figure all this out," she huffed. Then she turned to look at me, "Can you please call Emmett. Tell him and Rosalie to meet us here. Where is Jasper?" Again, I ask, what the hell is going on? I must have had a look of confusion on my face because Alice rolled her eyes and started pushing my back into _my _room pulling a very distraught looking Bella behind her. I'm still trying to figure out what is going on.

"Uh, what?" I say trying to pull myself together. God, I'm such a moron sometimes. Wait? What? Call Emmett?

"Why do I need to call Emmett?" trying to sound annoyed right now. Although, it's not far from the truth. I heard a whimper come from Bella and then I saw her suddenly drop to the floor. Alice gasped and dropped to her side and threw her arms around her. She looked up glaring at me. What the fuck? What the hell did I do?

"Edward, please just do it!" she all but screeched at me, "James tried something with Bella again." I felt the rumble in my chest begin, but I don't think Alice heard it. Thank god. "She hasn't told me anything yet. She was late meeting me for dinner and when I began to ask what happened, she said his name and just started crying." That rumble in my chest actually became a growl and it was louder than before. Shit!

What is James doing? IS he playing one of his games? The mere thought of him manipulating and weaseling his way into Bella's life, like he did to _hers_ is making my blood boil. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to tear him limb from limb. I heard Bella's voice and it brought me out of the murderous images I was envisioning about James. I could help but grin inside.

"…can we go to our room?" her voice is low and raspy; "I don't want to bring Edward into this, please." I heard her voice break at the end. Hold on, what does she not want to bring me into? What the fuck did her do to her? If my blood could evaporate from the heat radiating from my body right now, it would. Alice was starring at Bella.

"Bella, look, I don't want you to get hurt. I want Emmett and Edward to know what is going on. Everyone needs to know that James is back and possibly Tanya." I growled again. Seriously! I'm starting to sound like a fucking dog. I heard Alice huff.

"Edward, don't start. This is also for you too. Emmett knows, but I want to make sure Rosalie and Jasper are up to date too. They are our family and friends. They worry about you, so they need to know. Now, James is starting with my friend and I don't want anything to happen to her." She was looking obstinately at Bella, and then she got up and proceeded to help her off the floor. They made their way over to my bed and Alice looked back at me, "Please, just make the call!" she pleaded. I nodded and pulled my phone out. I heard Alice talking to Bella in the background. I scrolled through to find Emmett's number and I press send. This is just one big fucking mess. *Groan* Emmett picks up on the third ring.

"Edward?" he sounded surprised.

"Hey Emmett, sorry to bother you but something has come up and Alice has called an emergency family meeting.' This is going to fun. "Can you and Rosalie come by my room?"

"What's going on?" he tone going into the defensive tone.

"It's not something to talk about over the phone, but Alice says you know some of what has happened today." It came out more like a question than a statement.

"Uh, yeah man, I heard about some of it," he was surprised that I knew. Damn Alice, she was going to try and keep this from me I bet.

"Well, I guess more has happened but Alice wants everyone to be here before she talks about it," the annoyance present in my tone. I heard Emmett growl into the phone. Whoa!

"We will be on our way in a few minutes. Rosalie just got home." I can hear him rustling through things and then the sound of keys clinging together. I hear Emmett yell in the background, 'Hey Rose, Alice needs us over at Edward's place now!'

I couldn't hear her respond, but Emmett comes back to me, "So we'll see you in less than fifteen Edward."

"Alright, see you soon." And then I hang up the phone. I turn around just in time to hear Bella say that James told her to stay away from Alice and me. What? I felt the heat spike in my already bubbling blood. It felt like I could give the sun a run for its money on the heat intensity. Okay, maybe not, but damn near close.

What the hell else did that fucker say? My anger was rising exponentially.

"What exactly did he say Bella?" I was seething. I watched Bella flinch at my tone and her eyes went wide in shock. Bella looked over to Alice and asked for some water. Is she trying to stall? Why would she do that? I go over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I walk over to her and she looks up when I stop on front of her. She backs away from me as if she was scared of me. Not good! I take a deep breath to calm myself down.

"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to upset you." I say trying to keep my words soft. I don't want her to be frightened of me because right now she looks as though she could break at any second. After a few moments, her body relaxed.

"It's not you, James really frightened me and I'm still a little uneasy. I didn't mean to react like that," she said as she reached her hand out. What is she doing? I must have had some confused look on my face because she looked down at the bottle of water. I roll my eyes inwardly, you are such a dumb ass sometimes Cullen. I hand over the water and then turn to walk to my desk. I look over to Alice.

"Alice, Emmett said they would be here in fifteen minutes, Rosalie had just gotten home five minutes before I called and Jasper should be here any minute." I sat down at my desk wondering how this 'meeting' was going to pan out. I want to know what James said and did to Bella. He's not going to be able to touch or hurt her again, I'll kill him first.

Um, okay. I'm a little taken back by this statement. I have this overwhelming need to keep her safe, to protect her at all cost. I don't know why. It's really strange, but it's such a strong sense of emotion. It was never like this with Tanya. Why is that? She was my everything, and Bella is a complete stranger to me. But, I _feel_ so protective of her. I heard the jiggle of the door handle and I jump. *GROAN* So much for my overprotective nature, pathetic. Jasper walks in and man, am I glad to see him. He helps me stay calm and I so need that right now. I stand up as he walks in.

"Hey Jazz, we have company," I wave to Alice and Bella.

Pointing to Bella, "Jasper, this is Bella, Alice's roommate," and motioning to Alice, "and you already know her." I snort. When I see Jasper's face when he looks at Alice, I had to try hard to fight back the laughter that was ready to bust out of my chest, but a chuckle escaped. He ignored me and turned back to look at Bella and smiled.

"Well, hello there darlin', nice to meet you," he says as he walks over to her and reaches out his hand to shake hers. I saw Alice give Bella a little push so she would return the gesture. Bella hesitantly reached her hand out and Jasper gently took hold of it.

"Nice to meet you Jasper," she said softly while shaking his hand. She quickly released it and took a couple steps back. He looked over to Alice, "H-Hi Alice, how a-are you doing?" he had a hard time getting that sentence out. Such a dork!

"I'm good Jasper, thanks for asking," her voice has a slight trill to it and her face was beaming. God, it's so nauseating. When will they every do anything about each other? Are they going to continue to dance around their feelings for one another? I roll my eyes, good thing neither of them caught that. But, right now, it's time to get down to business. I walk over to Jasper and clasp my hand over his shoulder.

"Hey Jazz, Emmett and Rosalie are going to be here shortly." He looked over at me in confusion.

"What's going on Edward?" I sigh, not really looking forward to this, but I was going to have this conversation with him later anyway.

"A lot actually and I guess we are going to go over everything when everyone is here." This is one part of my life that I wished would just disappear, but every time I turn around; it rears its ugly head. Jasper looked over at Bella with concern.

"Does this also involve Bella here?" I also heard the worry in his voice. Yeah, unfortunately the fuck up of my life has inched its way into another innocent person.

"Yeah, she's part of it," I seethed. Now that James knows Bella is involved with my family, because of Alice's intrusion, she's become a target. He's going to take advantage of that. He loves the thrill of the chase and he usually ends up with whatever he was after. Over my dead body, fucker! Where the hell did that come from?

I can feel my blood boiling again. I can see him doing something to hurt her; that's what he does, what he's good at. FUCK! I can't let that happen. I have to make sure that he never had the opportunity to touch her again.

The knock at the door take me out of my inner ramblings concerning James and I see Jasper go to open the door. Once he does I see my brother on the other side. Finally!

"Hey guys, what's up?" Jazz says to Emmett. As Emmett answers his voice resonates throughout the room.

"Jazz, man, how are you? Long time no see!" Jasper steps aside so Emmett and Rosalie could come inside. Emmett comes to stop next to me and Rosalie went to join the girls. For a few minutes, everyone in the room just stared at each other waiting for someone to start this. Alice was the one to break the silence.

"I'm glad everyone is here," she said while looking at me. She seems a little nervous. "Emmett already knows a little of what happened today." I know this already but, damn! This just keeps tearing away at my insides. This was bound to happen sooner or later, just wished it was later or never actually. "To bring everyone up to speed, we found out that James is here, attending the university. Although we don't know if Tanya is here." *groan* I really don't know if I'm ready for this. I honestly don't feel like rehashing this **right now. **Can't we wait, please?

Jasper was the first to speak after Alice's admission. Guess not.

"This is a bit of a surprise," he said looking directly at me and he looked very concerned, understandable given my history. "Are you okay man? Was this what you were going to talk to me about earlier?" No, I'm far from fine, really, but I'm not going to tell you that. I just want to get away from here because right now, I want to go find James and kick his ass until he's begging for mercy. A guy can dream, right? Sigh, whatever.

"Yeah, I'm fine, now." I hate lying, but I don't want to freak my family out, "there was an issue earlier, but Alice helped me through it.' She helped me avoid another panic attack. I gave her a small smile to show my appreciation and her face lit up. Damn! I really need to kick James' ass now. I don't want to see anymore of my family put through my shit, but I'm still kind of dealing right now so my mind is having a hard time settling down and getting over everything, "and yes, I was going to tell you about James tonight, but now, everyone knows." I waved to everyone in the room, still kind of peeved but I can't do anything about it now. I heard a rumble come from the girls' side of the room. I look over at them and I see Rosalie's face turning dark red. She was livid. Oh shit, so not good.

"Why shouldn't we know about this Edward?" I was running my hand through my hair out of frustration and worry, she continued before I could answer, "after what happened before; Emmett felt so helpless, you wouldn't let anyone in or ask for their help. Your family and friends should be there to help support you, not let you fall. I hated seeing him like that and I'll be damned if I allow it to happen again. You are not going to shut us out again!" She screeched and it echoed in the room. Fuck Rosalie, guilt trip much. She definitely knows how to make someone feel like shit. But honestly, it is well deserved. I did shut everyone out. I couldn't look at anyone. I didn't want to see the expressions on their faces. I looked down at the floor and I took a deep breath before I began.

"I'm sorry that you all went through that because of me," it was my fault, "I wished you hadn't and I wished it never happened," now that is an understatement. I never wanted to hurt my family. I tried to keep them out of it. Emmett finally brought me out of my self-deprecating moment.

"Something else happen today?" he asked looking over at me and then over at Alice when I shrugged. I looked over to her and she nodded walking over to Bella. I heard Emmett growl, "What?" he said through clenched teeth. Alice put her hand up before she began.

"Emmett, before we begin, I want to introduce you to my friend and roommate, Bella. Some of what happened has to do with her too." I heard a sharp intake of breath come from him. He is going on the defensive. Brother Protector Extraordinaire. I looked at his expression. It went from a look of total shock to a relaxed smile when he watched as Bella made her way over to him. Alice gave the introductions.

"Bella…Emmett, Emmett…Bella." She put her hand out to shake his, but he was having none of that. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a tight hug. I snorted when I saw the look of absolute shock race across her face, but then, she giggled. That sound. My heart stopped for a beat when it escaped her lips. That was the most beautiful sound I've ever hear. Oh my god! Stop it! I had to give myself a mental bitch-slap for that. Come on now, what the hell! How can I react like that to her giggle? Earlier today, I go crazy over her scent of strawberries. I was living for her blushes for some unknown reason. *groan* Nope, not happening. I'm letting some girl get the best of me again. NO! I can't let that happen. Look what happened the last time. I won't allow myself to get hurt again, but I won't let Bella get hurt either; by anyone, let alone me. I heard Alice chuckle, so I looked over at her. Rosalie, Bella and Alice all had smiles of their faces.

"How are you doing Bella?" Rosalie asked. Bella sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm okay, there was some craziness that happened today and I'm still trying to sort it all out." This was what I was referring to. James is already messing with her and I know he can do some serious harm. I heard Alice; her voice had raised a couple octaves. She sounded pissed.

"Why are you made at yourself? You did nothing wrong." Bella was mad at herself, why?  
"This last time, before I met you at the dining hall, my reactions to him – it was like he had control over me. He took advantage of that." That fucker. I knew it. I felt the growl building in my chest. I'm seriously going to kill him. "Instead of defending myself, I just let him get the best of me and I ran," I heard the self-loathing in her voice, "he makes my skin crawl and my emotions go into overdrive when he is near me. My first instinct is to flee." She growled out. He cannot have this kind of power over her. I hear Alice and Rosalie gasp. My body was fuming.

"What happened?" I said through clenched teeth trying to keep my anger in check, so I don't frighten her away. She looked up at me, her eyes giving away nothing, but I saw her shiver.

"Well, I had just left our class," she said still looking at me, "I got a text from Alice. We made plans to meet up for dinner and talk," I saw a slight smirk play at her lips when she looked at Alice, but it never fully formed. What was that all about? "When I turned back to head to the dining hall I ran into James, literally. I honestly think he did it on purpose, because my head was down and I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going." She started fidgeting. "Anyway, he apologized to me about what happened earlier saying him and Alice has some past dealings that she couldn't seem to get over – his words." Oh hell no! Alice growled out, "Fucker!" What does he think he's doing? Oh no, what else did he tell her? I heard Bella groan, but then she added, "That wasn't all he said," she looked at both me and Alice. That's all she needed to say. I knew it, he told her. What did he tell her? Do I really want to know? No! Yes. I could barely muster the necessary strength to ask.

"What else did he say?" It came out breathlessly. Bella started to fidget again.

"Um, he was telling me some things about you and Alice. He was smug about it," Of course he would be. I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and I look up to see Emmett pounding his fist into his hand. Bella continued on telling us that James told her to stay away from my family. We all had to laugh at that statement. I could have said the same thing about him. She went on.

"Alice, be basically said you were crazy and that you manipulate people into getting what you want," Alice scoffed at that. "Edward, he said you have some serious issues, that you are violent and that you take advantage of people. He told me briefly about a physical confrontation between you and him." I can feel my heart racing, my blood is overheating. "He blames you for frightening someone he was close to. He said that she was scare for him." I laughed, but nothing came out. Tanya, scared of me. What the fuck! I just want to pummel him into next year.

I felt my hand make contact with the wall. I was so blinded by my rage that I didn't even realize it at first, but the throbbing pain was quickly inching its way into my unbridled fury. I lowered my hand, not letting that pain take over the murderous rage I was feeling at that very moment. Bella is trying to apologize to me. Why? What does she have to be sorry for? I should be apologizing to her for allowing my messed up life complicate hers. Rosalie asked Bella if James had said or done anything else. She didn't respond at first. She finally answered when Emmett called her name. She shrugged her shoulders, looking at the floor.

"It's nothing," she said nonchalantly.

"I don't believe you." Alice quipped.

"Alice, don't." Bella was pleading. What did that fucking prick do to her? The red veil was still hovering over my eyes. I was picturing the many way I could torture James and I was enjoying it.

"Bella, the look on you pale face when you walked into the dining hall isn't _nothing_!" Alice exclaimed and Bella sighed.

"He wouldn't let me leave when I tried to walk around him, he blocked my path. When I finally was able to get around him he grabbed my arm and when I tried to wrangle it free, he tightened his grip." _Oh HELL NO!_ I heard the growl that escaped Emmett at the same time mine came through. I looked over at Emmett and I can see the anger radiating from him. "He told me to be careful who I trusted and was friends with, when he did he brought his hand up to my cheek to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear and his hand lingered a little." I saw Bella shiver and my whole body stiffened in response. I was ready to go off the deep end. Emmett must have been feeling the same way because I saw his body react defensively. His fists were clenched and his breathing had quickened. I'm actually glad that Emmett is here. But, I could totally take James on by myself right now.

I watched Bella as the different emotions were radiating from here; shock, fear, anger, and then surprisingly – determination. I'll make sure he never has the chance to touch her again. I took a few moments to calm myself down and I walked over to her. Emmett was standing close to her, almost like he was hovering over her, to protect her from every angle. If this wasn't such a fucked up situation, I would have laughed at him for being his usually over protective self. But, at this point in time, I'm grateful. I wished I could keep Bella out of this, but I don't see James giving up on her that easily now. Not even thinking about it, I reach out and take Bella's hand in mind.

Instantly, I notice the tingling, burning feeling I felt before in class. It's mind-blowing. I also noticed how I like the feel of her hand in mine. Damn, enough! I need to get back to the situation at hand, no pun intended. I look directly at her, in her beautiful chocolate eyes, hoping that she believes what I am about to tell her.

"Bella, please stay away from him. He was a friend of mine until he betrayed me in the most hurtful way possible," her eyes widened when I said that. She looked intrigued but also confused.

"This is not an issue on my side, but how do I keep him away from me? He wants to see me again, he asked me out again for this weekend. I told him I was going home this weekend." What? He asked her out again. Uh, uh, nope! Not going to happen. Where is Tanya? What game is he playing? I felt Bella try to pull her hand away from me. NO! I don't want to let her go. I hold onto her hand and pull it towards me. I look over to her; I see the shock in her eyes and the worry showing on her face. I don't want her to be afraid of me. I take a deep breath to try and calm down. When I exhaled I felt my body relax and the burning sensation intensified from where our hands were clasped together. Wow, that feels so good.

"I'm sorry," it came out like a whisper.

"You don't have to apologize Edward," she was trying to get me to look at her. "This has been one big emotional roller-coaster of a day and," she laughed, "it's only the first day of classes. I'd love to see how the rest of the semester does," I fight the urge to laugh, but I can't keep the smile from trying to break through. I hear soft chuckles and snorts coming from the background. Oh god, whatever! But Emmett's voice of anger broke through again.

"I need to find out where he's at!" his voice booming through the room and I felt Bella jump. I squeezed her hand in reassurance but I was glaring him down.

"Emmett!" Rosalie screamed, "You will do no such thing. You are not going to go to jail over that fucker!" she was seething. Emmett narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm going to make sure he doesn't mess with our family anymore. He's done enough. I'm sick of it, and now, what he's done to Bella. It's all the more reason to finish him," he snarled.

With this impromptu meeting, I can actually see what my family went through emotionally for the past six month. I have witnessed Alice's over the past couple of day up close and personal, but I truly never saw anyone else while I was shut off in my room. I have a lot to make up for. I was selfish, determined to stay in my self-destructive state and it overflowed into everyone around me, and that includes Bella now.

"Emmett man, you need to calm down." Jasper said trying to instill some of his calming effect on his.

"Listen to him, please." Alice begged. Emmett started pacing back and forth. He was taking deep breaths in and out, hopefully trying to calm himself. He suddenly came to a stop and turned to look at Alice.

"What about _her_?" I have to fight back my laugh. They might think I have finally snapped. This is just lovely.

"Like I said, we don't know if she's here or not, but with him trying something with Bella, it makes me wonder what happened to Tanya." I can see the remorse in Alice's eyes, but I just can't deal with this right now. I felt a small squeeze of my hand. I forgot I still had her hand in mine. I look down at our linked hands; her small hand wrapped within mine. I can't. She needs to stay away from me. I yanked my hand from hers and from that exact moment, I felt a loss in me that made me hurt. I craved her touch immediately. I took a couple steps away from her to try to stifle that reaction. It didn't work, but I need to stay away. I realize now, this is not going to be easy.

_**A/N: I'm sorry I had to stop it there, this chapter like the last one is quite long and I'd hate to put it all on you guys at once. I will have the other half of this chapter up within the week. As you can see, Edward realizes something is going on. But he refuses to acknowledge it for a couple of reasons. Please let me know what you think. I always love to hear from you.**_


	13. Chapter 115

_**C/N: I'm really sorry for the long break in updates. RL and holidays kicked my butt, but I'm back and writing again. I hope that everyone is enjoying this as much as I am.**_

_**This is the continuation of the group meeting in Edward and Jasper's room. A lot is brought up, but still so many unanswered questions. There is a lot that will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. But in the meantime, ENJOY!**_

Chapter 11

EPOV (cont)

I couldn't even look at her. When I pulled my hand away I heard her gasp, and that hit somewhere deep inside me that has been long dead. I saw Alice come to stand next to Bella; she put her arm around in comfort. I wish I could be the one to do that. What? No! I can't think like this. It's for her own good.

"Are you okay?" Alice pulled me out of my inner deliberations. "I know this is hard for you." I could hear the worry in her voice. *Sigh* I take a deep breath.

"I'm fine." I said so low, not sure if she heard me.

"Are you sure?" Emmett obviously did. I had to chuckle.

"I'm fine, just trying to deal with all this. SO much has happened today and it's a lot to take in." I looked at everyone. I could see the skepticism and worry evident on their faces. They're worried that I'm going to revert back to that shell of a person I was before, "Seriously guys, I won't allow this to set me back. Although, I want to know what James' intentions are with Bella because there is also _her_ to consider," I didn't really want to think about _her_ right now. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous.

"Who is Tanya?" It came out so soft that I wasn't sure if I heard her ask that question, but from the growls and gasps that sounded throughout the room confirmed it was what I thought she asked. This must have shocked Bella because the next thing she said was, "I'm sorry."

I know that everyone was trying to protect me. Am I ready to do this? Hell No! Do I need to do this? Maybe, not sure. Reliving my nightmare right now is just not what I envisioned the highlight of my day to be, let alone my life. What a fucking joke. I can feel the bile climbing up my throat.

"She was my girlfriend." I growled out. "She played me for a fool." I seethed. She definitely did that quite well. I was completely blind-sided by her admission. I had to laugh, this was too much! I heard Bella ask Alice if she was okay. Cullen, get yourself together, don't put your family through this, again.

"Alice, don't worry. I'm not going to shut down. I CAN HANDLE THIS!" I have to handle this! I will not let her and James get the best of me again, not this time.

"I didn't mean to make you angry." Bella said and I looked straight at her, directly into her eyes.

"You didn't make me angry, but it is a difficult topic of discussion for me. You kind of witnessed that earlier today." She winced and nodded in acknowledgment. I wished she didn't have to see that side of me.

"I understand, you don't have to say anymore. I can see what this is doing to you," the tone was full of concern. She was biting her bottom lip. Ugh, this is not her fault. I shook my head. I just need to get this off my chest and out of my mind.

"Tanya was my girlfriend for over two years." I took a deep breath before I continued. This is a little harder than I thought. "I wanted to marry her and begin a life with her." My voice wavered towards the end. I swore I heard a soft 'Oh" but I couldn't be sure. I continued on, "I thought she was it for me, but I got a rude awakening the night I went to propose." Actually, I got my heart stomped on and broken into a million pieces. I had to fight back the tears that wanted to break free. Suck it up man! It's done and over, time to move on. It's in the past, you can't change it. I heard Alice's voice but I couldn't make out what she said. I took a deep breath. I heard Alice gasp. What happened? Emmett started to move in my direction. What was I missing? I moved back, away from Emmett's advances.

"Are you okay bro?" I was confused and I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded. What the hell did I miss?  
"You sure?" I was getting pissed now. I know why they keep asking me, but I'm not going to let this overtake my again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say with a little bit of annoyance. But I don't know how to go into everything. What do I want them to know?  
"I don't know if everyone knows the whole story." I looked at Emmett and Alice. "Not even you two." They both looked at me like I had grown another head or something, but mostly they looked hurt by what I said. Jasper and Rosalie looked surprised. Bella looked lost.

"What?" Alice and Emmett whispered in unison. God, could this get any worse. I run my hands over my face.

"What do you mean?" Alice exclaimed.

"You know almost all of it…I think." I know it's not true, but I really don't want to get into this now. I knew they knew about the night I proposed but they didn't know all the shit James and I used to get into junior and senior year of high school. Tanya and I got together towards the end of our junior year. She used to hang out with James and me during our rebellious days. They hit it off right away, but I never thought anything of it. We enjoyed having fun together. God was I stupid.

"I know everyone knows what happened that night." Everyone was nodding but Bella, she was standing there looking between everyone and I in the room. I looked directly at her. "Well except for you Bella." Of course she didn't know you idiot. Do I really want to do this? Well she was inadvertently involved in this mess because of me and my family. Damn! I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

**~* MoTH*~**

For the next span of time I went over the details of that night. The almost proposal, Tanya's reaction, her admission of her betrayal and the baby. Oh god, the baby. I can feel the pricking start behind my eyes. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

At one point I thought I heard her growl, but I shrug it off. I took a chance and glanced up at her. I could see the anger in her stance and eyes. If looks could kill, Tanya would be a dead woman, many times over. I had to hold back the chuckle that was threatening to escape. Her reaction was very similar to my family's. Very intense, but I wonder why she could have that extreme of a reaction. She barely knows me. Again I shrug it off.

"The worst part of all this was when she told me that she was with my supposed friend, James, and he was also the father of her baby." Her eyes widened and her face went a deeper red than I have ever seen on someone. She must be pissed.

"Seriously!" She growled. Yep, she's pissed. "This is the same James who messed with me today?" I understand her anger and I wished she didn't have to go through this. I just want to protect her from all of this. She is standing next to Alice just staring into space running her hand thru her hair. Her eyes were staring right through me; she doesn't even notice me walking up to her. I slowly take her hand in mine. That instant shock of electricity from before was there. It turned into a slow burn that ran from my hand, up my arm into the rest of my body. It was amazing. But Bella wasn't having any of it, as soon as she realized I was holding her hand, she yanked it away quickly. The sudden loss of her touch made my insides clench. Why?

"I'm sorry you somehow became involved in this mess." She snorted. "But please, believe me when I say; James can be very manipulative and conniving. When he sets his mind on something, he usually finds a way to get it. Please be safe. I don't want you to get hurt. He was my friend during a bad time in my life and I know who and what he is." Her eyes widened quickly but then they narrowed to near slits. She was still very upset. I turned to Alice and Emmett concerned but what I said. They both had a look of confusion on their faces. _Damn it!_ They don't know. Dad truly did keep this all to himself. I turn to look back at Bella.

"I can take care of myself, but thank you for your concern, Edward." She said with a touch of sarcasm, but it was followed by a smirk. I watched as her eyes glazed over, but then a shimmer of determination began to show through. What is she thinking?

"Bella?" I called to her - nothing. That shimmer of determination grew then it slowly faded and was replaced by anger and hurt.

"Bella?" I ask again - still nothing. I try to get her attention by waving my hand in front of her. The recognition finally broke though, and she looked at me.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I asked with concern. What I wouldn't give to know what she is thinking. It's making me anxious.

"I'm fine." She answered monotone. I know she's not fine. Too much has happened and she's been thrown in the middle of all this. I wish I could just take her out of this mess.

"I think I am going to my room." She announced. What? No! Don't go! My reaction to this surprises me. But, I know better than that. I don't want to drag her into this anymore than she already has been.

"Bella, are you sure you are okay?" Alice is worried. I hear Bella sigh.

"It's been a LONG day and I really need to just go lie down, relax. I just need to be by myself for a little while. Will you be here for a little while?" It was sounding as if she was pleading with Alice.

"Uh, yeah, I'm going to stay and talk things out with everyone." She must have realized that Bella pretty much begged her to stay away. "I'll be back to the room around ten. Is that okay?" Bella nodded.

"I should be asleep by then." She sounded defeated, like the weight of today has crashed down around her. I definitely know how she feels. As she began to walk towards the door, Emmett stopped her. He slowly took her hand. My fingers twitched; I don't like it. I know he is my brother and all but I don't like that he's holding her hand. Wait! I have no reason to be feeling this way. She's not mine. Get a grip man.

"Bella, please be careful. Let me know if something happens. I WILL take care of him if he hurts you!" Not if I get to him first roars through my mind.

"Uh, okay. I will and thank you." Emmett pulled her into a hug. I see a small smile appear on her lips. He set her down and pulled back to look at her, smiling.

"Since you're my sister now." He looks over at Alice and grins. Hey, what was that about? His sister? Okay, I'm lost. Whatever.

"I need to make sure you're safe. We take care of our own, always." I had to hold back a snort, Emmett and his overprotective nature. Gotta love it, but honestly, I'm glad to have him here right now. We need to keep James away from her.

"Thanks Emmett. It was nice meeting you, wished it was under better circumstances though." Then she turned to Jasper and smiles. "Jasper, nice meeting you too."

"Same here darlin'." He says with a grin. Bella turns to Rosalie.

"It was nice seeing you again. Hopefully we can hang out again soon."

"Same here girlie and yes, definitely soon." Rosalie waved at Bella and then turned to wink at Alice.

"Alice, I'll see you later." She says to her and then she turned to look at me, the anger still present in her eyes, but they soften a little bit. "I hope things work out for you. I am sorry for what you are and have gone through." As soon as she said that her eyes hardened again. I need to fix this. I wish there was a way I could comfort her and protect her. My finger twitched again. _No, damn it!_

"Thank you Bella. Again, I am really sorry about all of this. Hopefully it will get better." She nodded and began to walk to the door. Everyone said bye as she walked through; and then she was gone. I stood there staring at the door, running my hand through my hair for a few minutes. Jasper's voice broke through the silence.

"Edward." He called. I turned around to look at him. "You okay man. I know a lot has happened today." I rolled my eyes.

"That is the understatement of the fucking year." I say with heavy sarcasm and a sigh.

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed, "I know you've been through a lot but come on."

"Alice!" I all but growled. "James is back to make my life hell and there is nothing I would enjoy more than kicking his ass for what he and Tanya did to me and now, he's using Bella. Now that he knows she's hanging around with us, he's going to use that to his advantage. I know how he thinks. When he sees something as a challenge, he gets the ultimate thrill of the chase to achieve it. He's a hunter, he goes after it." Emmett stared at me, the color in his face darkening in anger.

"What?" I'm kind of taken back but his stance.

"What were you talking about before? That we don't know the whole story." *GROAN* I'm not ready to talk about those days yet. We did stupid shit, some extreme shit. We all have gone through those teenaged, hormone induced and nothing can get us, rebellion days. US against the World as we saw it. Some of us grow up and get over them, some continue on those destructive paths.

If it wasn't for my father, I don't know if it would have turned out the way it did. I could either have ended up in jail or dead. Before I graduated I knew things needed to change. My parents wanted me to attend college and get my head on straight. Dad was the only one who knew what I did during the past year. He basically quilted me into attending college, but he also bribed me. Said I could study music if I had a major to fall back on. So I kind of made a kiss-ass move but applying for pre-med at the University of Washington. He knew that music was my passion, but he also wanted make sure I had an education. Music got me through almost everything in my life, except Tanya.

I knew I wanted a better life. I was ready for marriage, kids and a good career in the music industry. I thought I had the love of my life in my grasp, but what the fuck did I know. What she did to me has killed any desire I have to be with another woman in a serious relationship. I don't want to get hurt like that again, so I've taken the temptation out of the mix.

I felt a slight pressure against my arm. I looked down at it and I see Alice's hand resting there. I look up into her blue eyes.

"Where did you go Edward?" Those eyes radiating her love and concern for me. I didn't deserve that kind of support. I shrug nonchalantly.

"Just going over the many regrets I have. Replaying different moments in my life. The good, the bad and the most hurtful." I can feel my eyes start to prick with emotions. I'm trying to keep them under wraps. I can't let them see these. It will only make them worry more. I look over at Emmett, not sure how to do this. I'm not ready to discuss it all right now. I hope he understands that.

"Emmett, I know you want to know what happened back then. I promise I will tell you soon, all of you, but right now I 'm too emotionally spent from today and my mind is going in a million different directions. My main focus is on James and his interest in Bella." I snarled at the end. I see the surprise in everyone's faces by my statement, but Alice has a slight smirk on her lips, but when my eyebrows furrowed in confusion, it disappeared.

"There is no way in hell I'm going to let James take advantage of Bella; she's innocent in all this. She didn't ask for any of it." I said and Emmett started to pound his fist again.

"I know one sure fire way to make that happen." He growled. Both of the girls sighed and rolled their eyes.

"Idiot." Rosalie snorted.

"Dumb ass." Alice hissed.

Jasper just snorted, "That isn't the answer for everything, Emmett." Jasper the pacifist; he's always trying to find a way to keep things from getting violent.

"I agree with Emmett, Jasper. I totally want to tear him apart. I want to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat until he chokes on them." I watched as Emmett and Jasper instinctively grabbed their crotches, the girls were rolling in laughter.

It took a second, but I followed suit. That was a nice little tension release, but honestly, I can't stop picturing the many torturous things I could do to James. A guy can dream right?

"First things first, we need to make sure that Bella remains safe. We need to keep James away from her." Emmett said and we all nodded in agreement. "Then next, we need to find a way to get James out of here."

"How are we going to do this?" Rosalie asked, eyebrow arched.

"Well, I have class with Bella in the morning on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays for English. We will walk together for classes anyways, so that is taken care of. I know that she has Biology and its lab on Tuesday and Thursdays." Huh, what? I have Biology tomorrow too. I wonder if she's in my class; guess I'll find out then. I won't say anything to them yet until I know.

"I have a couple of classes with her too, a writing class and the lab for English." I threw in.

"I don't know what other classes she has." Alice added. "But at least until I find out, these are covered. I'm just worried about other times; we can't keep an eye on her twenty-four, seven." Alice's tone laced with worry. As if I'm going to let that fucker get anywhere near her. I need to find him, figure out what his next moves are.

"That's not going to happen, sis. If this guy is as bad as Edward says then maybe we should inform campus security." Emmett said.

"It won't do any good." I huffed.

"Why not?" Rosalie challenged.

"Because, he doesn't have a criminal record. It'll be our word against his and he's good at evading the authorities." Although I wasn't so lucky back then.

"So…." Alice began

"So nothing." I said through clenched teeth. Jasper stepped in my direction. I took a step back, my breathing increased and my nostrils flared. They don't know him like I do. Jasper stepped close to me.

"You need to calm down man. Getting all worked up isn't going to get us anywhere." He said. He's always been the calm and collected one of the group. He usually can calm anyone down when they are in some sort of emotional turmoil. For some reason it's not working on me today. Maybe I want to feel all of this anger, rage, hurt and fear. The moment I decided to move on, it all came back to bite me in the ass.

I roll my eyes and then look at Jasper. "Look man, I know you're only trying to help me and I appreciate it, I do. But you guys have no idea what James is capable of." I was looking at everyone. "All you know about is what he did to me with Tanya. He always finds a way to get what he wants no matter the cost. Seriously, no matter the cost," I saw each word slowly hoping they get it. "He's ruthless and doesn't care who he hurts in the process. He is a fucking monster. I have seen him hurt too many people during his hunts." I growled out, remembering the women who used to cower when he was in their line of sight. I never hurt women back then but I was just as ruthless as him when it came to other things.

"Edward, we may not know him like you do, but we know what he did to you. He hurt you." Alice said. "We won't allow it to happen again and we will keep him away from Bella," she said with confidence. Everyone was nodding in agreement.

"Damn straight." Emmett said with a smirk. "Like I said before, we take care of our own."

What are you talking about Em?" My eyebrows furrowed in confusion again; "You called her 'your' sister before. Why did you do that?" Alice spoke up before he could answer.

"I kind of adopted her as my sister." She said in a singing voice. "She doesn't have any siblings and she's here by herself. Her father is a few hours away in Forks and her mother is in Florida." I couldn't help but chuckle. Alice is so like our mother, she's the first to help anyone in need. Esme would take in all the helpless children in the world to give them all the love, support and nourishment they needed. Both she and Alice have such huge hearts. It kills me that I put them through hell this past year.

"What?" She asked, looking offended.

"Nothing, you just remind me of mom, that's all." I chuckled again and smiled at Alice. Emmett laughed too and Alice was beaming.

"Oh!" She quipped. "Thanks for the compliment." She was grinning. Her mood is infectious sometimes. She makes it hard to stay in a bad mood. I looked at everyone; they all had smiles on their faces. Like I said, infectious.

"No problem short stuff." I winked.

That grin quickly formed into a scowl. I started laughing at her expression. She retaliated by sticking her tongue out at me; everyone was laughing hard. Wow, I have truly missed this. I'm so glad I have them back in my life. I should have never left them out.

**~*MoTH*~**

We sat around for awhile laughing, joking and playing catch up. It was truly good to be with my family and friends. Every now and then my mind would wander through different images and the memories of electricity filled touching; of large chocolate eyes looking up through thick lashes and blushes. A couple of times I had to adjust myself in my seat. *groan* No matter how hard I try I can't get her out my mind. My head is still all kinds of fucked up and this shit with James just doubled that. I should stay away from her. NO! My body is screaming at me. But, I know better. I need to stay away; but I don't know if I can anymore. I head Alice's voice pull me out of my thoughts.

"Edward? Where'd you go?" She was giggling. Damn her.

"Very funny pixie," I smirked at her. She winked at me. I know her all too well.

"What were you thinking about? Moreover, _who_ were you thinking about?" That gleam in her eye gives it away every time. I can see the wheels turning in the baby blues of hers. It isn't going to happen little sis.

"No one Alice." I groan out. That grin of hers' got impossibly bigger.

"Nice try big brother. You were staring at that door like it was the last thing in the world for the past twenty minutes and not to mention you've had to adj…" I cut her off.

"SHUT IT EVIL PIXIE!" I growled. She was laughing hard and the others were watching both of us like we were crazy.

"Oh come on Edward, it's not hard to see that…"

"NOT another word!" When is she going to get that I am not interested in her matchmaking skills? "Nothing is going to happen, I won't let it!"

"You won't let what?" Rosalie asked. Alice was laughing harder now. FUCK ME!

"Nothing." I groaned out.

"Liar!" Alice quipped.

"Alice, please drop it." My voice raised an octave.

"FINE, but it's going to happen whether you like it not." She winked. DOUBLE FUCK! I've known not to take Alice lightly, but I'll be damned if I give her the satisfaction of seeing me squirm again.

"Whatever." I say nonchalantly.

"What the hell is going on?" Emmett was confused. Good, let him be. I don't need anyone else helping that evil, conniving, lovable, pain in the ass pixie.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough Em." Alice was grinning from ear to ear and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, what about us?" Jasper and Rosalie said in unison. I snorted.

"Just wait!" Alice was bouncing in her seat. They were just staring at her like she was from another planet.

"What about you, lil sis?" Redirecting this topic of conversation to her.

"What about me?" She stopped bouncing and her breath hitched.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "You are so eager to see what becomes of me, you seem to have forgotten what happened earlier today." She blanched. Oh this is too good! I looked over at Jasper and the blood from his face had drained. I was holding my stomach, the laughing was getting to be too much.

"Shut up Eddie!" Alice growled.

"What is going on guys?" Emmett asked.

"NOTHING!" Alice and Jasper yelled together. I about fell out of my seat, tears were rolling down my face. Rosalie raised her eyebrow in confusion, but possibly getting the idea. A few seconds later I saw a smile play at her lips. She looked at me, shaking her head and mouthed 'Pathetic aren't they?' I couldn't help but laugh more, nodding my head in acknowledgment.

"Come on!" Emmett whined.

"I'll tell you later baby." Rosalie cooed at Emmett. Alice growled.

"No you will not Rose!" She was desperate.

"Look Alice, I'll drop it if you drop it." I winked at her, still fucking with her.

"For now, big brother. For now." She said with an evil undertone. This is not over by a long shot. I can see her mind going a mile a minute; I'm in so much trouble.

"I think it's time to head home. Emmett?" Rosalie asked, looking at Emmett.

"Um, yeah sure." He was still confused, poor guy. "So, tomorrow, we need to make sure Bella gets to and from class safe. Make sure James stays away from her." He said as he stood up. He gazed at everyone and we were all nodding in agreement, the reality of the situation hitting home, again. DAMN JAMES! I'm so going to kill the fucker when I get my hands on him.

"I'll check the times of her classes and let you guys know." Alice said.

"Let me know about her Biology class." I said to her.

"Why?" She asked, her eyebrow arched in a challenge.

"Um, I have Biology tomorrow. I want to know if it's the same time as me. This way that class is covered too." I say trying to play it off.

"Okay." She shrugged her shoulders. I'll text you. I nodded.

"Okay, we are out of here." Emmett said. "Alice, you call me and keep me informed. That fucker isn't going to get a chance to mess with another one of us." He took a second to glance at me then turned back to Alice.

"I will Em. Rose, don't forget about this weekend. I'll call you about the details later on." She stood up to give Rosalie a hug.

"Alright Al. We are inviting Bella right?" Asking as she pulled back from the hug.

"Oh most definitely." She giggled. Uh oh! Not good. When these two are together the city needs to watch out. I fought back a chuckle. Poor Bella.

"Later Em." I gave him a quick hug.

"You call me for anything. I mean that." He said with sincerity. I nodded at him; sure my voice would give me away.

"Edward." Rosalie said. "Please, take care of yourself and don't let that fucker take you back down the road you were on months ago. You are better than that."

"Thanks Rose. I won't, believe me. I'm jumping over those hurdles, one at a time." She placed her hand on my arm.

"That's all we ask. We care way too much." I heard a few acknowledging 'uh huh's' in the background. *sigh*

"Thanks guys. I'm glad you are all here with me now. I should have let you guys in before, but I can't change the past. But I have learned from it and I don't want to be without all of you." Alice and Rosalie hugged me, and the guys placed the hands on my shoulders.

**~*MoTH*~**

Emmett and Rosalie left shortly after. Alice followed a couple minutes after them. Jasper and I were left alone in our room. I got my bag ready for my class in the morning. I wonder if Bella will be in my class too.

I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked in the mirror. Today's ordeal still evident on my face. God, what a day. I rubbed my hands over my face and wound up running my hands through my hair. I took a deep breath in and let it out. I walked out of the bathroom and Jasper was sitting on his bed. He was waiting to change but I could see he was concerned about something.

"Jasper? Is everything okay?" I asked him.

He snorted. "I was going to ask you the same thing. I just wanted to make sure that even after everything that happened today, you were still okay." Concern etched on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine so far. It's been a long day, but I'm dealing with it. Slowly, of course. I'm just pissed that James is here and I'm worried what I will do if Tanya is anywhere near here." I still want to kill James, but Tanya, I have no idea.

"I know man, but remember, you are not alone in this. We are here to help you. Also, if James is after Bella, you won't be the only one to go after him. We will not allow anything to happen to her." Not if I get to him before there is even a chance. I grinned.

"I got that and I am very thankful. I just want to make sure you guys are aware that James is not just some punk. He's not someone to take lightly." I wish I could keep my family and friends away from him.

"We get that, believe me. We are also not a group to mess with either. Especially when one of us is in harms' way." I smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. "Why are you worried about Tanya?"

"I'm _not_ worried about _her_. I'm worried how I will react if she is here. The baby maybe here already." I looked down at the floor.

"She said it wasn't yours right?" He asked quizzically.

"Yeah, but…" I trailed off.

"But what? You don't believe her?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore." I was getting worked up again. My hands found purchase in my hair again. I'm surprise I had any left after today.

"Look Edward. Let's just go to bed. It really has been a long day. Hopefully things will look brighter tomorrow." I nodded agreement.

I went to pull the covers back on my bed and I heard my phone chime. I looked around for my phone. I walked over to my desk and the screen was lit up. A text from Alice, I touched the screen and the text came up.

_**Her class is at 10:50 with Professor Meyer. – Alice**_

Well, that answers that. I set the alarm on my phone, put it back on the desk and head over to my bed. I slip under the sheets and lay down. I bring my hands up behind my head. I let out a huge sigh. What a seriously fucked up day, but one good thing that came out of it was having everyone back in my life. I grinned with that thought.

Jasper came out of the bathroom in his pajamas. He set his alarm and got into bed.

"Jasper?" I called to him.

"Yeah?" He mumbled.

"Thank you."

"For what?" He looked over at me.

"For being here."

"You are my best friend man. I will back you up anytime you need. But right now, I need sleep." He laughed.

"Alright J, night." I snorted and turned back to looking at the ceiling.

"Night." He turned towards the wall and he was out like a light in less than five minutes.

My mind began to wander over the events of the day. Two things kept coming to the front of my thoughts, James and Bella. I was running through so many different ways I could torture and kill James. I was grinning with excitement, I can dream right? Then when I began to settle down and let me thoughts move away from James, I started picturing her. Long, wavy auburn hair. Warm, dark chocolate eyes. Dark pink blushes. My body reacted to the sparks that were there when we touched, those sparks that turned into a slow burning that moved through my body. *GROAN* I turned over and hissed. FUCK ME!

_**A/N: Don't kill me. I hated to leave it there, but this could have gone on and on. I may give a little of a teaser in the next chapter with Edward's dream, but since the next chapter is Bella's POV, I'm not sure. Heehee, I'm evil. I really hope that everyone is enjoying this. I love all the feedback that I am getting. Please review and I will update hopefully in the next week.**_

_**P.S. If anyone knows how to request a BETA, please let me know. I am really new to this and I know I could use their help. Thanks **___


	14. Chapter 12  Dealing with the past!

_**What a hell of a first day for Bella. She meets the gang and James. She finds out some of Edward's past, only to find out that it has carried over into her. What's a girl to think? She has a little surprise waiting for her today, maybe it will help things out for her. **_

_**Hope everyone is sticking with me. Sorry for the long span of time in between updates. RL is kind of kicking my ass right now but things are looking up. I hope to be able to update at least by every Saturday, if not then it will be up soon.**_

_**Now, on to the story. Enjoy ;)!**_

Chapter 12

BPOV

_**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**_

_NO!_

_**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**_

_Ugh! No! _I clutched the cover tighter.

_**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**_

_Argh!_ I reached my hand out to silence the annoying sound.

_**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**_

**THWACK….SLAP…**_Where the hell is it?_**...SLAP…SMACK…**_Damn it!_ I threw the cover off of me and lifted my head towards the obnoxious sound.

_**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**_

***THWACK*** my hand slammed down on the offensive piece of equipment, the beeping stopped. _Thank god._

I was not a morning person. Growing up my mother she tried everything to wake me up for school. I hated her for it, at least until I took my shower. I rolled onto my side and pulled the cover back over me. I laid there for about another fifteen minutes. *SIGH*

It was the second day of school. I had to get up and get ready for class. I rubbed my hands over my face. I tossed the cover off to the side and rolled out of bed. I headed to the bathroom.

When I got there I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like hell! Yesterday's drama still weighed heavily on me, but there was no time to deal with it now. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I threw my hair up into a ponytail and walked back out into the room. I made my way over to the closet. I pulled out a pair of my skinny jeans and one of my band shirts. I was going for comfort today. I got dressed and threw on a pair of my Chucks. I gathered my books for my Biology class and tossed them into my bag.

I made my way to the kitchenette to grab something for breakfast. I wasn't really hungry but I needed to eat something. I grabbed a granola bar and a glass of orange juice. It took some effort but I was able to get both down.

After I had finished eating I grabbed my things and headed off to class. While I was on my way I took out my phone to text Alice, but when I checked the screen I had two texts and two missed calls. I decided to check the texts first. One was from Alice and the other was from my mother. I had to laugh. My mother and technology didn't mix. I opened the one from her first.

_**I just wanted to see how your first day went. I'm so proud of you. Love you, Mom.**_

My eyes started to water. I missed her so much already. I'll have to call her later. I opened up the text from Alice next.

_**Hey, I hope you are okay. I didn't want to wake you this morning. You were very restless last night. Text me when your class is over. : ) – Alice**_

_I was restless? That would explain why I was so tired. *sigh*_ So much happened yesterday, of course I would be restless. Everything with Edward, wow, that was just crazy. I felt so bad for what that bitch did to him. _Who could do that to another human being?_

Even though I felt bad for him I was still pissed for his past bringing James down on me. James. The simple though of his name sent a shiver down my spine. _Damn! I WILL NOT allow him to get the better of me!_ I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I looked up for a second and realized I was in the quad. I headed in the direction of the science buildings. I looked back down at my phone to check the missed calls. The first number was my mother's. The next number made me come to complete halt. _Jacob_. _OH MY GOD!_ He didn't leave a voicemail. He called! After all this time, he called. I check the time on my phone. It was five after ten. I had time to call him before class. I took a deep breath and pressed the send button.

The phone rang three times and my heart started to hurt. I almost hung up, but I heard a soft hello answer before the fourth ring. My breath hitched when I heard it. I missed that voice.

"Hello?" his voice was louder this time.

"Jacob?" my voice cracked.

"Bella?" he called my name. I heard the concern in his voice.

"Jacob, is it really you?" I asked. I had to make sure he was really there on the phone with me. I was fighting to hold back the tears.

"Yes, Bells, it's me. Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concern again. That was all it took. The flood gates broke and a huge sob escaped my chest.

"Bella?" he called anxiously. I couldn't answer. "Bella, please, calm down," he said soothingly. I began to breathe in and out slowly. "Good girl," he praised. After a couple more deep breaths I finally was calm enough to speak.

"I'm sorry Jake," I hiccupped.

"It's alright, Bells. There is nothing for you to be sorry for," he said lowly. _What did it sound like that had more than one meaning?_

"I've missed you. I can't believe you called," I said nervously. I hoped he wouldn't hang up.

"Uh, yeah…I'm sorry about that," he stuttered. Was he sorry that he called me? _No!_

"Do you want me to let you go?" I asked. _Please say no. Please. _

"No. I didn't mean that they way it sounded," he sounded panicked.

"Jake, why did you call?" I asked. _Why the hell did I just ask that? Great Bella, you're going to scare him off. _"Don't take that in a bad way. It's just been so long and I was surprised to see your missed call this morning," I said quickly, spilling over the words.

"Bella," he trailed off. _Oh no, not good. _"I'm really sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to take it out on you, that wasn't fair to you," the sadness was evident in his voice.

"Jake, I'm sorry for what happened," I said. I was sorry. Not for what I said to him, but how it all turned out.

"Bells, you were not at fault," he said nervously. "Look, this is not something I want to talk about over the phone. I called to see how you were doing. I wished I saw you before you left for school. That was my fault," he sounded contrite.

"I wished I could have seen you too, but I will come home to visit dad every now and then. I hope you'll come and see me," I said hopeful.

"You want to see me?" he asked incredulously.

"Of course!" I said loudly. "Why wouldn't I? You are my best friend. Right?" I was worried that our friendship was gone after what happened. I hoped that he would still remain my friend despite everything.

"Yes!" he seemed surprised by my answer. "I thought after everything I did to you, you wouldn't want to see me," he stuttered.

"Why would you say that, Jake?" I asked surprised by his statement. "I called you all the time to try to get you to talk to me, but you never answered. I thought you hated _me_!" I exclaimed. _What was he thinking? Why would I not want to see him? He was being ridiculous. _

"I could never hate you," he breathed out. "I…I could never," he mumbled.

I looked at the time, it was fifteen after ten. I have to get to class, but I don't want to let Jacob go. I had finally gotten him to talk to me after all this time. I groaned inwardly.

"Jacob, I'm sorry to do this, but I have to get to class. Can I call you later?" I asked. _Oh please, please, please._

"Yeah, I would like that. I really missed you, Bella," his voice was full of emotion.

"Me too, Jake," my eyes started to blur. "You have _no_ idea how much," my voice broke.

"I think I do, hun," he said. "I guess I will talk to you later?" it came out like a question.

"Most definitely. I will call you in between my classes," I said reassuringly.

"Sure, sure. Later, Bells," he said. I could hear the smile in his tone.

"Later, Jake," I said as I smiled. I hung up the phone. It felt like a small weight had been lifted from my body. I felt, lighter somehow. I couldn't help the goofy grin on my face as I walked to class.

**~*MoTH*~**

I made it to class with five minutes to spare. I didn't care, I had my best friend again. I walked into the class and made my way to one of the stools at a lab table. I put my bag down next to me and pulled out my notebook. I let my body relax for a second and then, I felt it. _Oh no!_ _Please don't do this to me._ God can't be this cruel to me. I looked around the room and my eyes fell on a pair of green eyes. Yep, he could be that cruel. _Damn. Honestly, what did I do to deserve this?_

For whatever reason, my body reacts to his proximity. Why that was, I had no clue. I didn't know that he was going to be in this class with me. Maybe I could find another class to attend. I would check on that later tonight. I already had three classes with him and that was enough.

About five minutes after class was supposed to start the professor walked in. Ha, being late on the first day was not good and I could swear that the professor was a carbon copy of Mr. Berty from Forks. This would be interesting. He took a stack of papers from his satchel and handed them to one of the students to pass out.

The professor introduced himself as Doctor Bertalini and that he would be the professor for this class as well as the lab. _Oh goodie._ The student handed me one of the packets and I briefly glanced over it. It was the syllabus and the class schedule for assignments. _I knew I should have taken Chemistry._

Every now and then I would take a quick glance at Edward. Each time I did, he would be looking at me. _Was he starring at me?_ _Nah!_ I tried to focus on Dr. B. and his monotonous ramblings about what he expected of us in the class, but that freaking pull was getting stronger. I heard the professor talk about how he had assigned a lab partner for each student. When he started to take the roll, he advised who that person's partner was and they were to pair up at each lab table.

"Edward Cullen?" Doctor Bertalini called his name.

"Here," he said and he looked down at a list.

"Isabella Swan?" He called. _Not good._

"Here," I said.

"Where?" He asked. I raised my hand. _Not looking good at all._

"Ah, there you are," he said when he looked in my direction. "Good. Mr. Cullen, you and Miss Swan are lab partners," he said. _He MUST be joking. Right? _I looked back at Edward and narrowed my eyes. I could see a small smirk play at his lips. _God, what are you doing to me?_ This was so not fair.

"Please gather your things Mr. Cullen and join Miss Swan at her table," he motioned over to me. I scooted my stool as close to the edge of the table as possible and the professor continued pairing up the students. I felt that pull get stronger as Edward moved closer to me. He placed his things on the table and his bag on the floor. I couldn't look at him.

"Hey," he said lowly, almost a whisper.

I still couldn't look at him. "Hey," I muttered and looked down at the table. _Punishment, this was punishment for something I did._

Once everyone was settled after the moves, Doctor B called the class to attention.

"Alright class, the lab partner assignments will be for the entire semester so I would suggest taking a few moments to get to know each other. I will allow ten minutes for introductions," he said. I snorted. _That was a joke. _ I already knew Edward. What else did I need to know? The tension between Edward and me was high, at least on my end. I really needed to find another Biology class, TONIGHT!

"Bella?" Edward called my name. I barely moved my head in the direction of his voice.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned. _Did he REALLY just ask me that?_ I snapped my head up. I glared at him and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Seriously?" I snapped. I really felt bad for him and what he had gone through, but this James crap is partly his fault. James was part of Edward's past and now he brought that into my present.

He put his hand on my arm. I looked down at it and then raised my eyes back to him. He didn't remove it. I felt the electricity from the touch, but I couldn't focus on it. I was furious.

"Bella, I'm so sorry everything that has happened. I wished you weren't involved in this mess," he said.

"You and me both," I snorted. "That wasn't exactly the college experience I was hoping for," I said sarcastically.

"Oh God, Bella, please believe me. This was the last thing I thought would happen when I came back," he said pleadingly. "Can we please talk after class?" he begged.

"Why?" I asked. _What the hell else could he possibly have to say to me?_

"Please?" he pleaded. I looked up into his eyes and tried to find any deception. There was none.

"Fine, but I have a call to make first. Where do you want talk at?" Better to get this over with now.

"Where ever you feel comfortable," he said. _Seriously? He's worried about my comfort? _"But I would prefer a place kind of private," he said nervously. _Private?_

"Um, I'm not sure…" he cut me off.

"Please, there are some things I would prefer not to say in public," he looked around the room and then back to me.

I rolled me eyes, "Fine, meet me in my room. I feel safer there right now," I sighed.

"Thank you," he exhaled. "Call me when you are ready to meet me," he said.

"I don't have your number," I said incredulously.

"Oh. Sorry about that," he chuckled. "Where's your phone?" he asked. _Huh?_ I pulled out my phone and handed it to him. He started typing into my phone as I watched in amazement. He handed my phone back to me a minute later. I looked down at it. On the screen was Edward Cullen's phone number. I looked back up at him, he smirked. _I was so going to regret this._

The professor released the class about ten minutes later, telling us he would see us later that night for lab introductions. I gathered my things, not even looking at Edward and began to walk towards the exit. He caught up to me and put his hand on my arm again. _What is it with him and touching me? Not that I am complaining, but now was not the time to revel in it. _I looked back at him. He ran his hand through his hair.

"Bella?" he said nervously. "You will meet me later, right?"

"Yes, but like I said, I have a call to make first," I said. He nodded at my answer and then smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. _Yep, gonna regret it._

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem. I will call you when I am ready," I said.

"Okay," he smiled again. *Groan*

"Bye," I said and I began to walk towards the quad.

"Bye," he called out. I turned back to wave and he was still in the same spot, this time with his hands in his pocket. _Okay. _ I took a few more steps and looked back. He was still watching me.

**~*MoTH*~**

As soon as I was in the quad I pulled my phone out and dialed Jake's number. He answered on the second ring.

"Bella?" he sounded excited.

"Hey, Jake," I answered. "I told you I would call," I laughed.

"I know. It's just nice to hear your voice again, that's all," he chuckled.

"Yours too," I smiled. "So, what have you been up to since…" I trailed off, not sure how he would respond.

"It's alright, Bella, you don't have to tip-toe around what happened," he said, not giving away anything.

"I didn't mean anything by it, honestly," I said nervously.

"I know. But, to answer your question, not much has been going on on the rez. It's been kind of boring actually since you've been gone. Everyone stopped asking about you after what happened out of courtesy to me, but I know they've missed you too. Quil and Sam tried to get me to deal with it, but my stubborn pride got the best of me," he said honestly. _What is it with guys and their pride? _

"I've missed everyone too. I will come see them when I get the chance to come home," I said reassuringly.

"They will love that," I could hear the smile in his voice.

"So nothing has happened?" I asked.

"Uh, nothing major. Oh! Sam and Em are expecting their first baby in a few months," he cooed.

"Oh my god, really?" I asked, excited.

"Yeah. Sam is over the moon," he laughed.

"I bet. He's going to make a great father. He took care of all your guys for a while," I snorted.

"Yeah, yeah," he laughed. "He will be an awesome father," he said with respect. "Quil and Cara are engaged. Looks like you're out of the running now," he laughed.

"Ha Ha, whatever, laugh it up dude," I said mockingly. It was just like old times, joking around with Jacob. I had totally missed that! I heard him howling with laughter over the phone.

"Well, he wouldn't stop following you around for the last year you were here. He was like a damn puppy," his laughter took over again.

"Yeah, well, at least he found someone else to following around and pant after," I said jokingly.

"True. Oh, Paul and Rachel have been dating for a while now. Never thought they would get over their aversion to one another. We were kind of shocked when they told us they were dating," he snorted.

"Seriously? Wow, never thought they would get together," I said surprised.

"You and everyone else. My sister hated him for the longest time," he said. Paul would totally diss Rachel any chance he got. He was such a bully to her. Jake tried his best at keeping them apart, but he couldn't be with her twenty-four, seven.

"I'm just surprised the way it turned out. Well, I wish them the best of luck," I said whole-heartedly. "What about you? Anyone cross your path?" I asked. I wanted to know, as a best friend. I wanted to see Jacob happy.

"Well…um…" he stuttered.

"Spit it out, Jake," I said.

"Um, well, I did meet someone. Her name is Cassie. I met her when I went to get parts for the car I am rebuilding," he said nervously.

"That's great, Jacob. I'm happy for you," I said reassuringly.

"Thanks…um, Bells, I wanted to apologize…" I cut him off.

"You don't have to keep apologizing for what happened. It's in the past. It's time to move on so we can go on with our lives," I said with compassion.

"Thank you," he said. I heard a deep exhale from his end. He must have been holding that in for a bit.

"Your welcome. So, tell me about Cassie," I was intrigued.

"Well, she lives in Port Angeles. She works at the parts store that I go to buy the things I need for the rebuild. We kind of started talking and after a few meetings, I asked her out. She's really nice and we have a lot in common," he said with excitement.

"That's truly great, Jake. I'm honestly happy for you. I hope everything works out," I said.

"Let me know when you come home so you can meet her," he was really excited,

"I would love to and I will," I said. I check the time on my phone. It's a little after twelve thirty. "Hey, I have to run and grab something to eat before my lab later. Can I call you soon?" I asked.

"You better," he laughed. It was so good to hear him happy. I missed happy Jacob.

"You can count on it. I'll talk to you later," I said.

"Bye, Bells," he said.

"Bye, Jake," I said and hung up the phone. I took a deep breath. That was really nice. I have truly missed talking to him. I couldn't wait to get home so I could see him again. I was giddy with excitement. I decided to go eat before I talked to Edward. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk yet.

Oh crap, Alice. I forgot to text her after class. Well, I could invite her to have lunch with me. I sent her a text.

_**Hey Alice, sorry I didn't text sooner, got side tracked. I'm about to go get lunch, you want to meet up with me? – Bella**_

_What do I want for lunch? _ I don't want to take the change on running into anyone unexpectedly. So, I started to head toward the dining hall when my phone chirped.

_**That's alright girl. Glad you texted though. Sure, lunch sounds great. Where? – Alice**_

_**Dining hall – ten minutes. I'm heading there now. – Bella**_

**~*MoTH*~**

As I walked into the dining hall I got Alice's text confirmation to meet me for lunch. I was still on a high from talking to Jacob. I had finally gotten my best friend back and he had moved on. _Thank God!_ Now I wouldn't have to worry about Jacob's feelings for me.

I went to find a table for Alice and me. I had found an empty one near the window. I sat down at the table going over the call with Jacob. I didn't even notice Alice had come in the room. The vibration that came from her putting her books on the table brought me out of my thoughts.

I obviously still had the goofy grin on my face when I finally had looked up at Alice because when she saw my face she broke out into a huge smile. She sat down across from me.

"Well, who has the pleasure of putting that grin on your face?" she asked suggestively.

I laughed, "Um, I spoke to my friend I told you about, my best friend Jacob. He actually called me after all this time," I said, still excited.

"That's great, Bella. I know how much you missed him," she said.

I nodded, "Yeah I did and it was _great_ hearing his voice again," I grinned.

"That's really great. I'm happy for you," she said enthusiastically.

"Thanks," I said. I wasn't sure how I wanted to get into this subject, but I thought it would be nice to know what I could possibly be walking into when I go talk to Edward. "So, um, how did things go after I left last night?" I asked as I looked down at my hands.

She cleared her throat, "Uh, well, it was interesting. But things seem to be much better since we talked some of it out," she said.

"How's Edward dealing with everything that happened yesterday?" I asked, curious now after Alice's answer.

I watched as she fidgeted in her seat a little. "Well, Edward is being Edward. He blames himself of course and he's…" she trailed off. _He's what? _

"What, Alice?" I asked.

"Nothing, nevermind," she looked out the window. _Oh hell no, she isn't getting away with this._

"Alice," I growled. She looked over at me. "Tell me what is going on. His past brought James down on me and I'm not thrilled about it, but I also feel for what he went through. No one deserves that," I tried to soften my voice.

"Look, Bella, Edward is hell bent on getting to James before he can do anything to anyone, most of all you," she pointed at me. _WHAT?_ _He's insane._

"I can look after myself," I said forcefully. Her eyes widened in surprise. "What happened yesterday _won't_ happen again! I can't believe I let him affect me that way," I said, almost shamefully.

"Bella, James is not a man to take lightly according to Edward. He has a real bad past. Edward wouldn't get into it last night but he said that James has hurt a lot of people, specifically girls," she was worried.

"Well, this is just great. Now I have a psycho coming after me?" I screeched. I was pissed! _What was I going to do?_ Alice looked around. I didn't care what anyone was thinking.

"Bella," she hissed. "Edward had no idea this was going to happen. No one did. We didn't know that James was going to be here," she said angrily.

"Yeah, well he is and there is nothing I can do about it. Maybe I should tell security…wait…I can't, it would be my word against his," I said, annoyed. _Oh yeah, just perfect. What was I supposed to do? Maybe I could talk to my father. I couldn't, I wouldn't want to worry him. I couldn't tell my mother, she was in Florida. I had to figure something out._ I finally focused on Alice when I saw her waving her hand in front of my face.

"Bella, whatever you're thinking, don't," she said intensely. "We will NOT let anything happen to you!"

"This is not _your_ fight, Alice," I said condescendingly. She sat back against her chair, hurt by my statement. I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take all this out on you," I tried to say convincingly.

Her eyes had watered, tears on the brink of falling. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry for. You were forced into this situation. This isn't exactly how I pictured school starting," she said. I couldn't help but laugh. She looked at me like I had gone insane. "Bella?" she asked, worried.

It took a few moments but I got myself under control, "S…sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I had thought the same thing yesterday. What a way to start school huh?" I said jokingly. She started laughing.

"Yeah, well, we will have to find a better way to enjoy the college life," she snorted.

"Most definitely. Hey, why don't we grab something to eat," I stood up and looked down at Alice, "I told your brother I would talk to him," I said. She stopped in her tracks when I said that.

"You are going to meet with him?" she looked at me curiously.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to text him when I was ready. He's going to come to our room. Is that okay?" worried that she wouldn't be okay with that.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'm just wondering what he wants to talk about," she began walking again. _That goes for me too._

"He kind of begged me to. I was about to try and get out of it, but he pleaded with me." She smiled at me. _Why was she smiling? _"So, no idea what he could possibly want to talk to me about?" I raised an eyebrow at her, skeptically.

"Not a clue, honest," she said in a singing voice.

She walked ahead of me to get in line to buy her lunch. _Uh huh, whatever, like I believe that._ I glared at her and she smiled again. _She was up to something, I could feel it in my bones._ I got my lunch and we headed back to our table. I didn't want to rehash what we had already talked about so I decided to ask her about something else…someone else, actually.

"Alice?" I asked and she looked up at me. "So, is Jasper the one you told me about before?" Her hand stopped in mid air, right before she was about to take a bite. I had to stifle a laugh as I watched her cheeks begin to turn a bright shade of red.

"Um…uh…," she put her fork down. "You noticed that yesterday didn't you?" she asked nervously and I nodded in agreement. She sighed, "Yeah, that's him. Please don't say anything to him," she pleaded.

"I barely know the guy, why would I do that?" I asked incredulously.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just, well, I don't know really. I can't seem to get up enough nerve to tell him how I feel. I always act goofy when I'm around him. Edward got Jasper and I together yesterday," she huffed.

"Oh, was that what you were going to tell me about when we were supposed to meet up?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm still going to kill him for that," she snickered.

"Why?" I asked, laughing.

"Because, he knows how I feel about Jasper. He teases me all the time about it. He says I need to get over my issues and tell him how I feel," she sighed and I laughed. "Hey, it's not funny," she pouted.

"It is actually. It is so obvious that you two like each other. I just met you guys and even _I_ could tell," I said as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Whatever. I could say the same thing about you," she said and she arched her eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

She laughed, "Uh huh, you can't fool me. I see the way you look at my brother." I blanched. _What the hell?_

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I said nonchalantly.

"It's just as obvious, as you put it, as me and Jasper," she winked. _What is she talking about? _

"What are you talking about? I won't deny, I think he's cute. I even told you that already, but I don't like him like that," I said, trying to sound convincing. _I hope she bought that, because I sure didn't. Ugh!_

"You could have fooled me,' she snickered.

"Whatever," I said sarcastically. "Speaking of your brother, I need to meet up with him to see what he has to say. What time is your last class?" I asked.

"Um, four-thirty, I think," she looked into her bag and pulled out her schedule. "Yep, four-thirty. It's my intro to fashion class. Like I really need an introduction into fashion," she snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Okay, well my lab is at four-thirty too, so I will see you after your class?" I asked.

"Yeah, you want to meet up for dinner?" she asked.

"Sounds like a plan," I said as I got up from the table and gathered my books. I looked over to Alice, "I'll see you later."

"Later sis," she said and I grinned.

I walked out of the dining hall and pulled out my phone. _It was now or never. Maybe the latter was a good idea. Get a grip, Bella. It's not like he would do anything to you. _I rolled my eyes inwardly. I sent Edward a text.

_**Can you meet me at my room in fifteen minutes, sorry for the short notice. – Bella.**_

_Why was I apologizing to him? He could deal with it if he really wanted to talk to me. _Honestly, I hoped that he wouldn't respond. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to him regardless of what he had to say. Then, I heard the chirp from my phone. *groan*

_**No problem. I will see you then. – Edward**_

I rolled my eyes. _Damn_. So much for hoping. I walked towards the dorms, slowly. I would prolong this as long as I could. _Why did I tell him fifteen minutes? Moron._

**~*MoTH*~**

As I walked through the commons on my way to the dorms, I happened to look up and I saw _him_. _FUCK!_ He was walking towards one of the buildings. I quickly got behind one of the trees near me. I know I said I wouldn't allow him to get the better of me, but I'll be damned if gave him any chance of coming up to me. I stayed behind the tree as I watched him continue to walk towards the building and entered.

I turned and leaned my back against the tree. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I about jumped out of my skin thinking James found me.

"Ah!" I screamed.

"Bella?" I heard a deep voice call my name. I opened my eyes to look. I saw worry in the deep blue eyes that I saw. I closed my eyes again and took another deep breath to settle my nerves. "Bella?" he called again.

"Emmett," I said after I was able to find my voice again. "Hey, how are you?" I asked skittishly.

"Bella, are you okay?" the concern still dominating his tone.

"Yeah, sorry, you took me by surprise," I said and I put my hand on my chest. "I thought you were James," his eyes narrowed and anger flashed across them.

"You saw James?" he growled.

"Yeah, he walked into that building over there," I pointed across the commons. He looked in the direction I had pointed at.

"Do you want me to walk with you to where ever you were heading?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No, I will be fine. I'm glad I saw him before he saw me. I'm not ready to deal with him right now," I sighed.

"Are you sure? I don't mind," he said. _I don't need protection._

"Yeah, I'm sure. I was actually on my way to meet up with Edward…" he cut me off.

"Edward? Is something wrong?" he asked, panicked.

I put my hand on his arm, "NO! Everything is fine. He just wanted to talk to me, that's all," I tried to reassure him. I felt his body relaxed under my hand. _Wow._

He looked at me skeptically, "Honestly? Everything is okay?"

"Yes, Emmett, everything is fine. That I know of at least," I snorted. _Technically, everything was not alright but I hoped this would all be figured out soon._

"Okay, but if something does happen, please let me know. I don't want anything to happen to you, little one," he said caringly. His eyes were full of genuine concern. I was beaming on the inside.

"Thank you, Emmett. I promise, you will be the first to know if anything changes," I said with sincerity. He picked me up in a hug. I giggled and he laughed.

He put me back down and pulled back to look at me. "Make sure if you can't reach me for whatever reason, you let Edward know as soon as you can. Let me give you my number, okay?" it came out like a question. He was unsure for some reason.

"Sure," I said and pulled out my phone and handed it to him. He typed away on it and handed it back to me.

"There, now you can call me anytime. It doesn't even have to be about James, but definitely call if something happens with him," he reiterated, "but if you just want to talk, call me. You're part of _our_ family now," he winked. I giggled again.

"Thank you again, Emmett, I really appreciate that. Truly," I said as I smiled at him. "I have to go right now, Edward is expecting me. I told him to meet me at my room in fifteen minutes and I don't have much time left. Sorry to cut this short," I said apologetically.

"It's alright, little one, I will see you soon. Please, be safe and tell my punk brother to chill out and take it easy," he said in a joking manner, but I know there was some truth behind it.

"I will and I'll talk to you later. Bye Emmett," I said as I started to walk away. I turned back to wave at him. He smiled and waved back at me. I turned back around and headed towards the dorms. _What a day!_

I looked down at my phone and Emmett's number was still on the screen. He had it listed as Big Brother under his name. I giggled. _He was too adorable for words. It felt nice having a big brother, even if we were not blood related and even if we just met yesterday._ I had to laugh at that thought. I sent Edward a text letting him know that I was on my way.

_**Sorry, got held up. I'm on my way. I'll be there in less than five. – Bella**_

I got a quick response.

_**It's alright. I haven't been here that long. I'll see you in a few. – Edward**_

He was there already? _Great._ I entered the dorm area and walked towards my building. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up towards my room. There was Edward looking out across the common area. I took a deep breath and started climbing the stairs. When I got to the top he looked over at me and smiled. _My heart skipped a beat. Damn. He needed to stop doing that. _I felt my cheeks start to heat up. _ Double damn!_

"Bella," he said smoothly. _Triple damn._

"Edward," I breathed. _Great, I felt like an idiot._

"I'm glad you agreed to meet with me," the smile was back. My cheeks burned hotter.

"I hope you won't make me regret it," I said cockily.

His brow furrowed, "I hope I don't either." He fidgeted a little, shifting back and forth on each foot.

I stepped past him and went towards my room. I opened the door and walked in. I placed my things on my desk and turned back to the door. He was still standing outside.

"You can come in, Edward," I motioned into the room. He stood there for a second and ran his hand through his hair. After a couple more seconds he walked into the room and stood near the entrance. I looked at him, he really seemed nervous. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes," he whispered as he looked down at the floor. I walked to the door and closed it.

"Have a seat," I pointed to either chair at the desks. He made no motion to move.

"I'm good right now," he stammered. I don't think he was ready for this.

"Edward, we don't have to do this right now. I can see you are not ready," I tried to sound soothing.

"I _want_ to do this. I need you to know what I have gotten you into, unintentional as it may be, you need to know what James is capable of and that I will do _everything_ in my power to make sure you are safe," he said fervently.

"I can take care of myself, Edward. I appreciate the sentiment, really I do, but I will fight my own battles," I said with assurance. _I will try at least._

"NO," he growled. _What? He growled. What the hell?_

"No?" I asked as I glared at him. "What do you mean no?" _He must be crazy._

"I will NOT let you go up against James," he said through clenched teeth. His body was shaking and his fists were clenched at his sides.

"That is not YOUR decision to make," I said harshly. I was getting pissed. _How dare he!_

"Bella, please…" he pleaded.

"Please, nothing. You and _your _family need to leave me alone!" I yelled. I was beyond pissed.

He was taken aback by my outburst. _Didn't think I had it in me, huh, you prick._ He walked closer to me and I stepped back. My desk stopped me. _Shit._

He stopped just a couple steps from me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you upset. This is not why I came here," he stuttered, running his hand through his hair. "Please let me explain everything," he said earnestly.

Well, he had better start explaining now before I kick his ass out. I took a couple of deep breaths in the attempt to calm myself down. If he was going to explain I needed to have a clear head.

"Then explain," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest. He ran his hand through his hair one last time and exhaled deeply.

"This goes back a few years, when I first met James," he began.

_**A/N: Okay, don't kill me. I know this was a crappy place to stop, but I wanted most of this to come from Edwards POV. I will do some of Bella's POV from his story later. I want him to get her reactions to his telling of his and James' history. **_

_**Also, don't go hatin' on Bella. She's been through a lot in one day. She was forced into this unfortunate circumstance and she's taking it better than I would personally. Right now, she's pissed – best way to deal with it. It'll get better for her soon.**_

_**I hope to have another update in a couple weeks. I will be out of town Wed-Sat, so I won't have time to write. Also, I have a Beta now and she is helping me go over my previous chapters. To help make them a little better than they are now. Please be patient with me. I know a lot of you want to know what's going to happen with Tanya and the baby. That should be coming up in about 5 chapters. Stay tuned. Please leave me some love. You know I like to hear from you. Until the next update!**_


	15. Chapter 13  Memories are best left in t

_****Peeking out from behind a brick wall** Please don't hate me. Sorry for the delay in posting an update. I am currently trying to get into a master's program at the University here and I was studying for the GRE and I lapsed in my writing. I apologize and I hope it won't happen again.** Now that that is over on to the chapter.**_

_**Chapter Notes: This is chapter is diving more into Edward and James' background. Also, it contains the conversation everyone has been waiting for between Edward and Bella, when he finally breaks down and tells her the truth.**_

******WARNING******** This chapter has a flashback scene that implies a rape that occurred. There is no graphic description or anything like that. The way the flashback is told, it is only implied. I just wanted to give this warning in case there was anyone who can't handle the dark topic. You have been warned beforehand.********WARNING******

EPOV

I rolled over waking up to the bright, heated light shining through the windows onto me. Groaning, I rubbed my hands over my face. The events from yesterday were still fresh in my mind. I took a deep breath in and held it. _Was I ready to face today?_ I snorted. That was a joke. Yesterday ranked up there close to the worst day of my life. The worst part of it was what happened to Bella. I know that some of what happened was because of me and my fucked up life, but the rest was all on James. *Groan* _Psycho Fuck!_

I looked over at Jasper's clock. It was 8:17. Crap, I had class in an hour. I lazily got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. While the hot water washed over me, my body started to relax, even if only for a moment. But the moment I thought about James going after Bella, I tensed. I quickly got out of the shower and got dressed. There was no way I would let that prick touch her, let alone talk to her again. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door.

I quickly texted Alice to see if Bella had left for class already.

_**Morning Ali, has Bella left for class yet? – Edward**_

I made my way to the commons while I waited for a response from Alice. I hoped Bella would make it to class without any problems from James. I heard my phone beep.

_**I'm not sure if she left. I had class at 8. Sorry. – Alice**_

_Damn!_

_**It's alright sis. I'm on my way now. I am running a little behind this morning. – Edward**_

I quickened my pace. Hopefully she would be there and safe. My phone went off again.

_**She'll be fine, Edward. Just relax. – Alice**_

_Relax? Um no, not happening._She really had no idea what James was capable of. Of course, that was my fault and I planned on rectifying that situation, soon.

I finally arrive at the science building and I made my way to the classroom. The moment I walked through the door my eyes began to search the room. My heart started to pound in my chest. My breathing was shallow. _Where is she? _I started to freak out.

_**Alice, she's not here! – Edward**_

Her response came quickly.

_**Calm down! Give her a few more minutes. If she isn't there by the time class starts let me know. – Alice**_

I reluctantly took a seat towards the back so I could keep my eyes on the door. I would give her five minutes. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. _I'll kill him if he does anything to her._ My hands were clenched into fists, ready to fight to the death.

I steadily watched the minute hand on the clock as the second hand ticked away. My muscles started to tense and flex in preparation to bolt out of the room at a moment's notice. _Where the fuck is she?_ As soon as I begun to grab my bag and stand to leave, I felt it, that humming or buzz of electricity and I froze in place. _She has to be near._ I only felt it when she was around. My heart stopped in anticipation. The moment she walked through the door all the air in my lungs escaped and I felt my body relax. My eyes quickly began to scan her body from top to bottom. I had to make sure she was okay. I watched as she took a seat at one of the stools. My phone vibrated.

_**Did she make it? – Alice**_

_**Yes – Edward**_

_**See, I told you it would be alright. – Alice**_

I rolled my eyes. Damn her.

_**Yeah, I know. I was worried. You know me. – Edward**_

_**Yeah I do, you overprotective freak. : )~ - Alice**_

_**Shut it… - Edward**_

Before she could respond I sent another text.

_**Love you ; ), see you later. – Edward**_

She responded quickly.

_**Damn you, lol. Love you too. C ya – Alice**_

I stifled a laugh. She was so easy to rile up. I put my phone in my back pocket and looked up at Bella. She had just put her bag down on the floor and pulled out her notebook. When she put it on the lab table she suddenly stiffened. She slowly turned and started to glance around the room until her eyes locked on mine. Her eyes widened quickly, but then her shoulders slumped and she rolled her eyes. _What the hell? _She turned back around and I saw her chest rise and fall sharply. _Okay, she seems a little pissed._

I knew she had every right to be angry after what happened yesterday. She was kind of pulled into my world unintentionally. I wished there was a way to keep her out of this, but knowing James the way I do, that was highly unlikely. Once he set his eyes on something he stopped at nothing to get it. I shuddered at the thought. _Sick fuck!_

The professor walking into the room pulled me out of my internal ramblings. I still couldn't take my eyes off of her. I took quick glances at the professor as he got his station set up. It was quite astonishing how familiar he was to my old Biology teacher in Forks. When he introduced himself as Doctor Bertalini I snorted. He could pass for Mr. Berty's brother. Doc passed out the syllabus and went over it along with his expectations for both of the classes. _Oh joy!_

I caught Bella looking back at me every now and then. Her cheeks had a slight flush to them, each time. _Is she still mad?_ I don't want her to be mad. I heard the doc in the background explain that he had assigned lab partners for the class. _I hope I don't get some loser where I end up having to do all the work._

"When I call your name, say here and then I will let you know who your partner will be," Doc B said. He began to go through the roll and he called out my name.

"Edward Cullen?"

"Here," I said and he looked up at me and then back down to his list.

"Isabella Swan?" he called. _Uh oh, shit._

"Here," she said, annoyed. _Not good. _ He looked around.

"Where?" he asked and she raised her hand. He looked directly at her this time.

"Ah, there you are," he glanced at me quickly then back to Bella, "Good. Mr. Cullen, you and Miss Swan are lab partners." _Double shit! _She snapped her head to me and gave me the nastiest glare I have ever seen. I wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground. _She WAS pissed._ I couldn't take my eyes off of her though. Even though she was angry, she looked cute. I had to fight back the smile playing at my lips. She must have noticed because her eyes narrowed even further. *Groan* _She is going to be the death of me._

"Please, gather your things Mr. Cullen and join Miss Swan at her table," he said as he motioned to Bella's table. I slowly gathered my things and went to sit next to her. That hum I kept feeling started to get stronger the closer I got to her. _I wonder if she feels this too._ She had moved her seat to the edge of the lab table when I got there. _She is trying to avoid me. Do I repulse her that much?_

I put my things on the desk and looked at her. She didn't even acknowledge me. _Damn!_

"Hey," I whispered in her direction. I watched her reaction. Her body tensed and she kept her head down.

"Hey," she muttered, still not looking at me. _She can't even look at me. I really need to talk to her as soon as possible. I never meant for this to happen and I don't even know why this is bothering me so much. _

I heard Doctor B call the class to attention, "Alright class, the lab partner assignments will be for the entire semester so I would suggest taking a few moments to get to know each other. I will allow ten minutes for introductions," he said. I heard her snort. _Okay, enough of this shit!_

"Bella?" I asked as I looked at her.

"Yeah?" she asked, still looking down at the table. I wanted to grasp her chin and lift her eyes to meet mine. I needed to know what she was thinking.

"Are you okay?" I asked, hoping that I was conveying the concern I felt towards her.

Her head snapped up and I saw the anger, hatred and…concern, maybe. "Seriously?" she asked through clenched teeth. God, she was so angry. I put my hand on her arm and a jolt of electricity sparked under my fingers. It turned into that slow burn I felt before. She looked down at my hand and back up at me. Her eyes were blazing. _This is because of me. I did this. I need to fix it._

"Bella, I'm so sorry about everything that has happened. I wished you weren't involved in this mess," I said.

She snorted, "You and me both. This wasn't exactly the college experience I was hoping for." Her words were laced with sarcasm.

"Oh God, Bella, please believe me. This was the last thing I thought would happen when I came back," I pleaded. I had to talk to her, "Can we please talk after class?"

"Why?" she asked incredulously.

"Please?" I begged. _I was not against begging damn it. _She looked up at me. Her eyes bore into mine like she was searching for something. Then a look of defeat flashed quickly in her eyes and disappeared.

"Fine, but I have a call to make first. Where do you want to talk?" she asked. _Better make this good Cullen._

"Where ever you feel comfortable," I said, but then I panicked a little. I didn't want to say the things I needed to say in a public setting, "But I would prefer a place kind of private," I said, hoping she wouldn't reconsider.

"Um, I'm not sure…" _Oh shit. NO. She's backing out. She can't._

"Please, there are some things I would prefer not to say in public," I said looking around the room, then I made my way back to her.

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, meet me in my room. I feel _safer_ there right now." I heard the stress she placed on the word safer. She was safe with me, maybe. For some reason I felt the need to protect her. I couldn't explain it.

"Thank you," I said as I exhaled, "Call me when you are ready to meet me." She looked at me like I was crazy.

"I don't have your number," she said contemptuously. _Of course she didn't have your number dumbass._

I chuckled, "Oh, sorry about that. Where's your phone?" She eyed me again and then pulled her phone out of her back pocket handing it to me. I took it from her and programmed my number in it. I sent a text to my phone so I could have her number too. I handed it back to her and she looked down at it. Her eyes widened a bit and a slight blush started to appear on the apples of her cheeks. My fingers twitched. _Fuuuuck! _ She looked back up at me and I smiled. She quickly turned away mumbling something I couldn't quite make out. _Is she going to back out?_ I hoped not. I needed to chance to explain thi9ngs about me and most of all, James.

I heard the professor release the class for the day and said he would see us in lab later tonight. Bella was rushing to gather up her books and make her way to the exit. She didn't even look at me again or say bye, see you soon. I stated to panic again. _I have to make sure. _ I ran after her and caught her by her arm. She turned around, surprised. I got nervous.

"Bella? You will meet me later, right?" I asked.

She exhaled, "Yes, but like I said, I have a call to make first." I nodded in acknowledgement. I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks," I said, still smiling. She gave me a small smile in return.

"No problem. I will call you when I am ready," she said.

"Okay."

She started to walk away, "Bye," she said.

"Bye," I called back. She stopped and turned around. She raised her hand and waved. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She turned and started walking towards the commons. I watched as she disappeared behind the trees.

_I AM SO FUCKED!_

**~*MoTH*~**

I stood there for a few more minutes before I decided to take a walk. There was so much going thru my mind. I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. I walked over to a secluded area and sat down next to one of the trees. I leaned back against the trunk and brought my knees up to my chest. I took a deep breath in to help relax and calm myself down. _I can't be doing this in front of Bella. You need to get a fucking grip on yourself Cullen!_

I leaned my head back against the tree and stared up into the sky. _What am I going to say to Bella?_ I needed to tell her about James. She had to know how dangerous he could be. I remembered what he did back then, what we did. I felt the shudder run through my body. I was there with him but I never crossed the lines he did. I stopped hanging around him after _that night_. The shit with Tanya just sealed the deal. I would never forget that night for as long as I long as I lived.

_**Spring Break – Senior Year**_

_James and I, along with our little group – well James' group – decided to go to Portland for Spring Break. I was looking forward to getting away. Tanya and I needed a break for a little while, she was going to Los Angeles with her family for spring break. I missed her though, but I wasn't going to tell her that._

_It was supposed to be party week for us. Friends, fun and alcohol, who could ask for more, right? We ended up at one of James' friend's house Friday night. I thought we were going to be staying in a hotel. Laurent said to make ourselves at home and that 'company' would be arriving soon. I looked over at James, he grinned and winked. _What the hell?_I shrugged and took another sip of beer. After about an hour I had a nice buzz going on but it was getting a little crazy in the game room. Drugs were brought over and I wasn't in the mood for anything right now. The moment I stood up, the door bell rang. Laurent jumped up to answer the door and James got up to come over to me._

_He clasped me on my shoulder, "You ready to have a little fun?" _

_I looked at him and he had this wicked grin on his face. Something got his attention and I looked in the direction he was. Shortly after in walked Laurent and behind him were five girls._

"_What's this?" I asked looking back at James. _

_He turned to look at me. I saw the look in his eyes. He has a predatory look in them. He motioned over to the girls, "THIS is fun!" he growled._

"_What the hell, James? I'm with Tanya," I said angrily. He laughed at my response. _What the fuck?

"_Whatever, man. She isn't all that and…she's not even here right now, is she?" he said mockingly._

"_Fuck off, prick. You go have 'your' fun and leave me the hell out of it," I growled. I began to walk away and James stopped me._

"_What's your problem, Eddie?" he asked._

"_Look, I'm not going to fuck around with another girl just because my girlfriend is in another state," I sneered at him._

_He started laughing again, "Your girlfriend," stressing the last word, "wouldn't mind if you had some fun. What she doesn't know won't hurt her right?" He winked again and gave me a mock punch to my shoulder._

"_Not going to happen," I said as I started to walk away again._

"_Fine, but I can see that changing something this week. You have needs man, just saying," he said as he laughed._

_That laughter carried as I walked out onto the patio. _Fucking prick. He totally killed my buzz. _I sat in one of the lounge chairs on the patio. Why did he mock my relationship with Tanya? I hadn't been with her for very long, a little over a year, but I would __**never**__ cheat on her. I loved her. I sighed and took a sip of my beer. I felt my body relax for a minute but that changed the moment I heard squealing coming from the game room. _Oh God!

_I stood up and began to take a walk. I needed to clear my head. James' shit pissed me off, but he was always a dick when he was drunk. He loves to lose control. He used to tell me that it was to most exhilarating feeling in the world to him. He didn't even have to be drunk, he just needed to let his instincts take over. _Whatever the fuck that meant._ I saw the look in his eyes when those girls walked in. He looked like he was going to devour them. I shudder rocked my body. James could be a sick fuck sometimes._

_After a couple hours I made my way back to the house. I walked into the living room and saw a couple of the girls huddled together on the rug near the fireplace. Laurent was in the chair with one of the girls lying across his lap. I looked over to the couch and James was lying down with a red headed girl sprawled across his body. I rolled my eyes and made my way up to my room._

_The rest of the week continued along the same way; girls, drugs and alcohol. James kept hassling me about not partaking in the random delicacies from the girls who stopped by each night. I noticed James stuck with the same red headed girl each night. He told me the next day that her name was Victoria and that she was an 'absolute vixen in the sack'. His words not mine._

_The Saturday before we were supposed to leave, everyone decided to have a huge end of spring break bash. I didn't really agree to it, but since I was in the minority of not caring if we had the party or not, they agreed for me. Laurent and James barely spoke to me all day and honestly, I was fine with that. Every now and then I would catch James glaring at me. _What the hell is his problem?

_It was almost six and it was about time to start getting ready for the party. I went up take a shower and get ready. I wasn't trying to impress anyone so I dressed in one of my band shirts and a pair of black jeans. I made my way back downstairs and James came up to me._

"_So, are you going to sit out again tonight?" he asked with a smirk on his face. _Fucker!

"_Yeah, I'm just not interested man. I care about Tanya and I'm not about to fuck it up for a one night stand," I said annoyed with his blasé attitude._

"_Come on, Eddie, she's really not worth it, believe me. Look, just have a few drinks, loosen up and have a little fun. It's our last night before we have to head back to reality," he said as he threw his arm over my shoulder._

"_I'll have a few drinks, but I'm still not hooking up with anyone," I said nonchalantly._

_He slapped my back, "We'll see my friend." He was grinning, wicked fucking grin. "What do you want to drink?" He asked. _

"_I'll get it," I said walking towards the bar._

"_Suit yourself. I'll catch you later. I'm going to go see if Victoria is here," he said wagging his eyebrows. _Prick!

"_Later," I said._

_When I got to the bar I poured myself a jack and coke. I turned and leaned against the bar. I watched the activity in the room occasionally taking a sip of my drink. I noticed one of the girls looking in my direction, but I paid her no kind of attention. I was with Tanya – I kept repeating in my head. After about twenty minutes, she made her way over to me. I ignored her and refilled my empty glass._

"_Hi there," I heard her say._

"_Hey," I said without turning to her._

"_My name's Bree. What's yours?" she asked._

_I sighed, "Edward."_

"_So why are over here all by yourself?" she asked coyly. _

"_Not interested in any 'company' that's all," I said nonchalantly._

_She moved closer to me to the point I could feel the heat radiating from her body. I looked at her._

"_Really?" she asked trying to be cute._

"_Yeah, really. I have a girlfriend back home that I care about," I said as I saw James come up behind her. He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her into him._

"_Hey cute thing," he said smoothly in her ear, "Why are you wasting your time on Eddieboy here. He's pining for his 'girlfriend' back home," he snorted._

_She laughed, "I was just making polite conversation to someone who was all by himself. He's cute," she said and James turned her around to look at him._

"_Come with me little girl. You're not going to get anything from him, believe me," he said sarcastically. She hesitated and looked at me quickly. I could see that she was afraid but I didn't give it a second thought. James could always talk his way into a girl's panties._

"_Sure," she said shakily._

"_You have nothing to worry about babe. It's all in good fun, right?" he asked. He put his arm over her shoulder and started to lead her out of the room. He turned his head back to look at me. Once he caught my gaze he winked and then turned back to Bree. He whispered something in her ear and I saw her shiver…_

I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard the scream echo in my mind. I shook my head to try and dispel the memory. I could still see the fear on Bree's face as James led he away. My stomach was in knots. I took a few deep breaths in and out. _How am I going to explain this to Bella? That she was in serious danger and it was all my fault for not having the balls to turn him in. How was she going to react to this knowing James is free after everything that happened?_

Bree never pressed charges and I had a sinking feeling as to the reason why. I found out later that she had attempted to commit suicide and she was placed in a mental health facility in Seattle. Even after all that, I still didn't come forward. James threatened my family and Tanya's safety to keep me quiet. I knew James was a man of his words and I couldn't take that chance.

As soon as I got home I broke all ties from him and tried to get my shit together. Graduation was less than three months away and I was determined to get as far away from him as possible. I also had to make sure that my family and Tanya was safe from him too.

I looked around at my surroundings and realized I had been here for quite some time. I took my phone out of my back pocket to see if I missed any calls or texts. No such luck. I decided to head over to the dorms and wait for Bella. I got up off the ground and bent over to grab my bag. As I placed the strap over my shoulder my phone went off. I looked at my phone. It was a text from Bella.

_**Can you meet me at my room in fifteen minutes, sorry for the short notice. – Bella**_

My heart rate spiked and my breathing became erratic. _Damn it man, get a hold of yourself. You need to protect Bella from James. FUCK! _It was now or never. I texted her back.

_**No problem. I will see you there. – Edward**_

I started to head in the direction of the dorms going over how and what I was going to say. First, she needed to know **how **dangerous James really was. Second, she needed to know my involvement in this. Thirdly, she needed to know I would do _anything_ to protect her from him.

I texted Emmett while I walked to Bella's room. He needed to know what we were up against. I couldn't keep them in the dark anymore. I had no idea how I was going to tell the rest of my family what happened. I never wanted them to know. I did everything I could protect them from him, but now that he was here, the needed to protect themselves.

_**I need to talk to you soon. – Edward**_

I made my way up to her room and stood outside her door. I took a deep breath and knocked. I was sweating bullets. No answer. I knocked again, still no answer. _Did she change her mind? _I stood there for a few minutes hoping that she would just show up. I heard my phone go off again. It was a text from Emmett.

_**Sure, when do you wanna meet up? – Em**_

I let out a deep breath.

_**How about after my lab tonight? – Edward**_

As soon as I sent that off I got a text from Bella.

_**Sorry, got held up. I'm in my way. I'll be there in less than five. – Bella**_

I breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't change her mind. I texted her back.

_**It's alright. I haven't been here that long. I'll see you in a few. – Edward**_

A text came from Emmett right after that.

_**You got it bro. See you then. – Em**_

_**Thanks – Edward**_

Good, that was set up. He would be the first in the family to know what happened back then. Hopefully, he would help me make a plan of attack on telling everyone else and then find a **permanent** solution for the James situation. I grinned at the prospects. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone coming up the stairs. I turned to see who it was. It was Bella and I smiled. I saw her eyes widen a bit and she blushed slightly. I had to hold back a laugh, she was too cute. I turned to face her as she walked towards her door.

"Bella," I said.

"Edward," she breathed. _Oh god._

"I'm glad you agreed to meet with me," I smiled. The blush intensified.

She snorted, "I hope you won't make me regret it."

I got nervous quick. _Not good. Suck it up man. _"I hope I don't either," I said worriedly.

I saw a flash of regret in her eyes and then it quickly disappeared. She moved past me to open her door. I stayed outside while she walked in a put her things down. I wanted to make sure it was okay for me to enter. She turned around and frowned for a moment.

"You can come in, Edward," she waved me in. I hesitated for a second, running my hand thru my hair, finally walking into the room. I stopped a few feet from her and she looked a little concerned when I met her gaze. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, barely audible. _Damn, get your shit together._ I looked away from her and she sighed walking to the door closing it. She walked back over to me and motioned to the chairs.

"Have a seat," she said.

I was frozen to the floor. I couldn't will my legs to do anything. "I'm good right now," I muttered. I looked at her. I could see the concern in her eyes.

"Edward, we don't have to do this right now. I can see you are not ready," she said soothingly.

"I _want_ to do this. I need you to know what I have gotten you into, unintentional as it may be, you need to know what James is capable of and that I will do _everything _in my power to make sure you are safe," I said frantically.

"I can take care of myself, Edward. I appreciate the sentiment, really I do, but I will fight my own battles," she said with conviction, but I saw the flash of fear in her eyes for a split second then it was replaced with determination.

"NO," I growled. She flinched, but then she glared at me.

"No? What do you mean no?" she asked contemptuously.

"I will NOT let you go up against James," I said though clenched teeth, trying to keep my anger in check. I was failing miserably. My fists were clenched and I felt my body shaking.

"That is not YOUR decision to make," she sneered. _This is not going well and I haven't even gotten to the topic at hand. _I took a few deep breaths.

"Bella, please…" pleading with her. She cut me off.

"Please, nothing. You and _your_ family need to me alone!" she yelled.

_What have I done?_ _I need to fix this._ I took a hesitant step towards her and she stepped back. She backed into her desk. I stopped just a few steps from her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you upset. This is not why I came here," I stuttered through, raking my hand through my hair, "Please let me explain everything."

She closed her eyes and took a few steadying breaths in and out, like she was attempting to calm herself. She opened her eyes after a few moments and the anger was gone.

"Then explain," she said crossing her arms over her chest.

I took one last deep breath, "This goes back a few years, when I first met James…" I began.

She listened as I told her how James and I met; that we were rebellious kids, testing everything and everyone around us. I told her of the stupid, childish antics we pulled before James decided he wanted to experience more. _Although I never thought it would go to the extreme it did. _I told her of the drug and alcohol use we did, although his was more hard core than what I wanted to do. She looked annoyed by that admission. I shrugged. I took a moment to compose myself for what I was about to tell her. She saw the distressed look on my face and she put her hand on mine. I looked up at her and I saw her understanding, it compelled me to continue.

I told her what happened during our spring break senior year. I heard her gasp and growl during the story. I shuddered having to tell her those details. I saw that she was fighting with herself to keep from asking questions and I assumed it was because she was waiting for me to finish the story.

She already knew what happened the night of my attempted proposal to Tanya, so I didn't rehash that topic. I told her about the day they happened upon me at the beach. I saw a small smirk play at her lips when I mentioned that I punched him. When I finished everything I let a huge breath. It was strange but I felt a little lighter. I had never told anyone any of this before and it felt weird to let it all out.

I finally prepared myself for the onslaught of questions I knew was ready to burst from her lips. I rubbed my hands over my face and then through my hair, finally letting them come to rest at my sides. I decided I needed to sit down, I felt emotionally exhausted and I wanted to make sure I was able to handle anything she threw at me. I looked up at her after I sat down, she was ready and I could see it.

"I know you have tons of questions. But first, please let me apologize again for getting you mixed up in all of this," I said honestly. I hoped she wouldn't doubt that.

"Okay….let me say this one thing first before I begin the questions I had. I know that you never had any intention of something like this happening. The universe can play some sick jokes on us sometimes. But, I am still pissed that this is happening…" I tried to cut her off but she wasn't having any of it, she put her hand in the air to stop my attempt, "let me finish, you owe me that," she cocked an eyebrow to challenge me. I nodded. "Thank you. James is one sick fucker and now that he knows you and your family are here he's after blood. I am assuming I am an added bonus." I growled. She arched her brow again. "Tell me I'm wrong, Edward," she dared.

"I will not let that happen, Bella. I told you that. I will not let what happened to Bree happen to you or anyone else," I said remorsefully, "I know I should have done something, but I was afraid for my family, but I WILL NOT allow it to happen again," I said with confidence.

"Edward, now is not the time to go all vigilante on James," she said sardonically, "Why can't we say something to campus police?" she asked.

"Because, it would be our word against his and he could get us for harassment," I said angrily.

"Even though it is true," she scoffed.

"There's no proof. All because of my inability to grow a pair and also because Bree never went to the police," I said raking my hands through my hair.

"Edward, stop blaming yourself," she yelled, "Enough is enough. No more pity parties. It's time to deal with it head on," he said determinately.

I scoffed, "Easy for you to say. I allowed him to stay in the free world and now he's taken a liking to you."

"STOP!" she screeched.

"NO, BELLA! James is the type of man, that once he sets his mind on something, he WILL find a way to get it," I roared. She was glaring at me. I rolled my eyes. _ You need to chill out, this is not her fault and you are taking it out on her! FUCK!_ I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. I opened my eyes and she was still staring at me.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to yell. Argh, damn him…Fuck…," I took a couple more deep breaths, "Please…please…," I couldn't think straight…

Bella stood up and came to kneel in front of me. She placed her hands on mine and I looked up at her. The spark I felt each time we touched was there. It was working into that slow burn, moving through my body and I felt myself relaxing. I took my hand from under hers and brought it up to her cheek. She gasped.

"Please, Bella, tell me that you will let me handle James. Stay away from him at all cost. Don't be alone under any circumstance. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you," I said letting all my concern and fear show through.

She squeezed my hand, "I will, under one promise…," she waited for my response.

"What is that?" I asked.

"You will NOT put yourself in harm's way. If something happens, you will not go off on some tangent and go after James. I mean it," she said absolute certainty, "From what I know your family lost you to yourself for some time and it took a lot out of them. Don't do that to them again," she said, playing the guilt card.

I rolled my eyes and she squeezed my hand harder. _Damn, that hurt._ "I MEAN IT, EDWARD!" she growled.

"Fine, fine…I promise I will not go after James…alone," I said, challenging her to say something.

"That is not what I meant and you know it. You are not to go after James, period, alone or not. If you can't promise me…," she trailed off. I saw the wheels turning in her eyes.

"Uh uh, HELL NO, DON'T even think about it!" I said gruffly.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Well, you are not the only one who can find a way to deal with James," she scoffed.

This time I took her head in both of my hands and brought her face up so I could look directly into her eyes, "I promise you, I will not go after James," I said and I saw the victory emanating in her eyes.

She smiled, "Fine, I will not go out alone and I will stay as far away from James as possible."

I took my hand and brushed her hair behind her ear then brought my hand back to her cheek. She closed her eyes. _I am so fucked!_ _I think it is time to leave._ I glanced at the clock on Alice's desk and saw it was twenty after three. _Shit!_

I sighed, "Bella, I have to get ready to go to my next class."

She looked over at the clock and she jumped up, "Oh damn, me too, I have class in less than thirty minutes," she said quickly. She went to her desk, grabbed her books and packed them in her bag.

"Where is your class?" I asked her.

"Um…in the Art building…I have Art History. Oh, and Alice is in my class," she said excitedly.

Good, I could walk her to class and then she would be with Alice. Maybe I could get Alice to walk with her to our lab class.

"Do you mind if I walk with you?" I asked, worried she might say no.

She turned to look at me and saw the panic I had on my face, "Sure," she sighed. _Oh yeah, this is going to be fun!_ She gathered her things and we walked out the door.

"So, what's your next class?" she asked casually.

"Uh, music theory…," I said.

"You're a musician?" she asked curiously.

I shrugged, "I used to be." She frowned.

"What do you mean, 'used to be'?" she asked. _What are playing, twenty questions? _

"Well, I used to play up until the night with Tanya," I said nonchalantly. _No use hiding it now._

"Oh!" was all she said.

"My heart wasn't in it anymore," I said honestly.

"Too bad, I would have loved to hear you play," she said coolly.

"Maybe sometime, when I find something that moves me again," I said unemotionally, "So what are you majoring in," I said trying to change the subject.

"Um, I'm an English major. Writing is a passion of mine. Uh, I want to be a writer – fiction mainly. I used to write poetry and short stories, nothing major. What about you?" she asked. I could tell she was trying to take the spot light off of her.

I chuckled, "My major is pre-med." I heard her breath hitch and I looked over at her. She had a surprised look on her face. I laughed, "What?"

"Oh, nothing, I honestly can't picture you as a doctor," she chuckled. I frowned which made her laugh harder, "Sorry, didn't mean to offend you."

"What do you mean you, 'can't picture me as a doctor'?" I asked, stressing the statement with making quotation marks in the air.

"You don't seem the type honestly. I pictured you more like a bad ass rocker," she snorted.

I laughed, "Well, to be honest, music is my passion…was my passion. It is actually my minor. My parents only agreed to it if I majored in something I could and I quote 'Fall back on', unquote."

She laughed, "But pre-med? Why did you choose that?" She stopped laughing.

I shrugged, "My father is a doctor. A damn good one at that. I see the passion for it in his eyes. I thought maybe I would see what the fuss was all about."

"It's a lot of work!" she said astonishingly.

"Yeah it is, but it is worth it," I said.

"Wow, well, good for you," she said cheerfully.

"Thanks," I chuckled. I felt my ears flaming. _Damn!_ She must have noticed because she was giggling, but I couldn't look at her. _Double damn!_

**~*MoTH*~**

We made it to the art building and I walked her to her class under protest, but eventually she allowed it. I wasn't giving in that easily.

"Thank you for walking me here, Edward, now you can go," she said jokingly and pushed me away from the door. I would have gone in to make sure James was nowhere in sight, but she wasn't having it. "Go!" she growled.

I laughed, "Fine, be that way. I will see you later for lab, right?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I guess so, partner," she said as she winked and walked into her class. _Yep, gonna be the death of me. I can see it coming, cause of death, one hell of an amazing woman. I am so screwed!_

I made it to my class with minutes to spare and all I could focus on was her. Thank God it was only the first week of class because I would be royally fucked if I actually had to do some work right now. Each class was the same the first week. Introductions, syllabuses, class requirements and so on and so on. I hoped that I got over this little fixation I had on her before we had to get down to work. More importantly, I hope the shit with James was taken care of before it escalated. I would kill him first before he laid a finger on her.

Class was dismissed early, yet again. I texted Alice to see how class went with her and to make sure she would stay with Bella. She responded quickly with a 'Duh' and 'Quit worrying'. Man, if she only knew and she would know soon. I wondered if Bella said anything to Alice about our conversation. I never told her not to say anything. Maybe I should ask her not to say anything, let her know that I was planning to tell my family soon.

_**Um, hey, sorry to text this to you, but can I ask you a favor? Please don't say anything to Alice about what we talked about. I am actually planning on telling them all real soon. I need to make sure they are all protected too. – Edward**_

Wow, that was kind of wordy.

I walked around the quad near the art building to make sure James stayed away and to make sure Alice and Bella were okay. _I feel like a freaking stalker right now._ I decided to lean up against one of the trees near the entrance to the building so I could watch as the students walked in and out. I heard my phone beep.

_**Don't worry Edward. I won't say anything to anyone. It is not for me to tell. Alice tried to get me to say something, but I stayed quiet. Good luck on telling your family. They will be grateful, believe me! I will see you later – Bella**_

Wow. I was thankful that she didn't say anything to Alice. I let out a sigh of relief. I leaned my head back for a second and thought about telling my family. Would they hate me for keeping it from them? I knew one thing was for sure, I wanted Bella to be there when I told them.

_**First, thank you for not saying anything. Second, I have another favor to ask. I know I don't deserve it. I will beg and plead *on my knees*, but I would like to ask you to be there when I tell my family. – Edward**_

_I know that she must think I am some crazy, fucked up individual and I wouldn't blame her if she told me to fuck off, but I am hoping she will do this with me. God, what am I thinking? I barely know this girl, yet she makes it easy to talk and she calms me. No one, not even Tanya, did that to me. I can't get too attached to her. I just need to keep her safe from James. _

The beep from my phone pulled me out of my internal monologue.

_**I would be honored to be there, only if you are sure. – Bella**_

There was no need to even think it over.

_**I'm definitely sure. Please. Thank you. I will let you know when. – Edward**_

I felt my body ease and relax. _Thank God! _My phone beeped in response.

_**You're welcome, keep me posted. – Bella**_

_Halle-fucking-lujah _

I was smiling like some fucking Cheshire cat at Bella's answer. _You're so fucked!_

But that smile faded as quickly as it came when I saw _him_ walking towards the Art building.

_OH HELL FUCKING NO!_

_~Twilightgirl224_

_**A/N – Okay, sorry to leave you at a cliffhanger, but this chapter was getting way too long. Well, was it what you all expected? James is one sick fucker and Edward was caught in the middle. Don't go hating on him. In his mind, he was trying to protect his family. Hopefully, none of you have been put in the predicament. As for Edward and Bella, well he's falling, but he just won't accept it yet. You guys know what to do, show me some love and I hope to get an update in the next 2 weeks.**_


	16. Chapter 14  How do you help one who is

**C/N**: _**Hey guys, sorry again for the long delay in updates. I have been trying to get this updated on for over 2 weeks and I kept getting Net Error messages, argh! Also,**__** I am in the process of re-vamping all my previous chapters with the help of my Beta, but due to RL, things are going slow for both of us. I have 10 more chapters to work on and then I will be caught up. Most of the editing is done; just getting them finalized is taking my time. So again, I apologize for the long time in between. I will try to keep on top of the updates along with the re-vamping. Have patience with me. I know I have avid followers to my story. Please stick around. So much is coming up, including the return of everyone's favorite ex. *EG* Now that I have spilled my guts, let's move on to the story.**_

*******WARNING***** *****WARNING***** *****WARNING*******

_**Like I did with the previous chapter, I am putting a warning up for readers who may have a problem with the topic of rape. As in the previous chapter, it is implied. There are no graphic details given about the incident. This is told in Edward's point of view. He didn't witness the actual event but the events that unfolded after said incident leaves the reader to believe that a rape took place. If this is an issue for you, please don't read. **_

*******WARNING***** *****WARNING***** *****WARNING*******

_**Basically this chapter is BPOV on the talk between her and Edward. You get to read more of what Edward had to tell her in the chapter. Also, Bella and Alice have their second class together. Plus, there is a nice little interaction between our psycho freak, James. I hope you all enjoy!**_

BPOV

He took a long deep breath in before he began. "This goes back a few years when I first met James. We were inseparable. James and I got into so much trouble. It was stupid, childish, petty things…" he trailed off.

I couldn't do anything but stare at him. He was actually telling me his story. I was at a loss for words. He lowered his head a little but I could still see his face. I saw a small smile play at his lips. _What was he thinking?_

"Your father and I were on first name basis for a while there," he said and then his eyebrows furrowed, "My father had to do everything to make sure my record was kept clean. He didn't want me to lose out on having a normal life with all the opportunities out there. I didn't make it easy for him at all," he said remorsefully. He ran his hand through his hair and his leg began to bounce up and down like he was nervous. _This is not going to be good._ He took another breath and continued, "We partied all the time. Drugs and alcohol were an everyday occurrence." _Of course it was!_ I sighed at the thought. "James got involved with more of the hard core drugs, not saying I didn't indulge but I mainly stayed with the softer one," he said and I scoffed. He looked up at me and shrugged. He looked away after a few moments.

I saw his body tense and his face contorted in what looked like pain, or fear. _Oh no! I don't want him to hurt. This is killing me._ I moved closer to him and put my hand on his. He looked back up at me and his face softened, his body relaxed. I saw a flash of determination and resolve in his eyes, then it was gone.

"What changed everything for me was what happened during spring break my senior year," he shuddered towards the end. _ Not good. _ "James, I and a group of our friends decided to go to Portland to just get away from everything; school, parents, life…" he sighed, "It was just like it was back home from the moment we got there. The only difference was that they invited girls over every night."

My breath hitched. My mind was going in every direction imaginable. _What is he going to tell me? _He looked up at me and I saw the pain in his eyes again.

"I was with Tanya at the time so I didn't do anything with the girls even though James and Laurent tried. James kept telling me that Tanya wasn't worth anything. He mocked me when I called her my girlfriend. I didn't know at the time that he was sleeping with her," he growled. His hands balled into fists on his knees. His body was shaking with anger. _He needs to calm down._ I placed both of my hands on his fists and his head snapped up. That electric feeling was there. It was slowly moving up my arm. My body started to tingle. _ I can't do this right now. Focus!_

"Edward, you need to calm down," I said softly, rubbing my hands over his fists, "There is no need to work yourself up over this. I know she hurt you, but it's in the past. You need to move on. This anger isn't good for you."

He was still looking directly at me and I watched as his face softened minutely. He took a couple deep breaths in and out. I felt the shaking stop and his body relaxed.

"What else happened?" I asked and I felt him tense again quickly. _What the hell happened?_

"The last night we were there," he said thickly, "Um…well, everyone decided to have this huge party to signify the end of spring break." His eyes bore into mine. I could see the fear very evident in them. _Why is he so afraid?_

"Are you okay? Are you sure you want to tell me?" I asked. I needed to make sure he was alright with this. I was not going to push him.

He swallowed, "Um, yeah… I NEED to do this. You are actually the first person that I've told."

I gasped. _He didn't even know me. I'm a complete stranger. _I was so in shock by what he said that I didn't notice that he moved his right hand from under mine and placed it over mine. I shivered at the contact. _I hope he didn't notice that._

"The party started just like the others. The alcohol and drugs were everywhere. The girls showed up later. I didn't want to be a part of it. I stayed away from everyone. They all found their respective partners, except for James. He was with the same girl all week, but she never showed up that night. He had a thing one of the girls, Victoria; she had come all week and was always with James. For some reason she didn't show," he stopped and took a deep breath. I squeezed his left hand to encourage him to continue.

"Anyway, like I said, I pretty much kept to myself. I had a couple of drinks and went to fill my glass at the bar when one of the girls who had been eyeing me the entire time she was there came over to talk to me. I wasn't interested in doing anything. I wasn't going to cheat on Tanya," he snorted. I knew what that meant. He continued, "Bree, that's her name, started chatting with me, but I blew her off." His face suddenly had a pained look on it.

"James came up behind her asking her why she was wasting her time on someone who was 'pining' over his girlfriend back home," he said emphasizing the word 'pining'. She told him that she was trying to make polite conversation. She thought I was cute. James was trying to get her to go with him, telling her she wasn't going to get anything from me. The look in James' eyes was predatory. He looked at her like he was going to eat her," he said and I felt his body shudder. I couldn't help but growl at the thought of James, but I was afraid to know what happened next.

"The look on her face, Bella, was pure fear. She looked at me, but I really wasn't caring at that point in time. I didn't even consider what happened could happen." I gasped. _NO!_

"James led Bree away and took her up to one of the rooms. I just went back to drinking with no care in the world," he sighed, "I never imagined that he was capable of doing that. He came downstairs about two hours later, without Bree. He went over to Laurent and a couple of our friends. I wasn't that far away from them so I could hear everything they were saying. Laurent asked if 'tapped' him some of that fine ass he took upstairs," he said with disgust, "James was laughing saying how she fought him at first but she finally gave it up. He high-fived everyone there. I tried to drown out their conversation but James became very graphic about his 'conquest'," he said using air quotes. Edward got up and began to pace around the room. _Conquest my ass. I know what that sick fucker did._

"I saw movement out of the corner of my eye coming from the stair case. I turned slowly to look and I saw Bree slowly descending the stairs. Her clothes were torn and she was clutching onto her middle as she came down. James didn't even acknowledge her. I got up and went over to her and she flinched back away from me. When I saw her, she had bruises starting to form around her wrists. Her left cheek was red and swollen. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face had dried streams of tears running down it," he choked out. I growled, loudly. He looked over at me. I could see the disgust in his eyes. There was so much I wanted to ask but I didn't want him to stop. I understood now why he wanted to protect me from James; why he felt obligated to. He wasn't able to protect her; James had hurt her and he didn't do anything about it.

He shook his head and continued, "Bree never went to the police and James threatened Tanya and my family if I said anything to anyone. After what happened that night I knew he was capable of anything, so I went home with my tail between my legs like the ball-less fucker I am," he growled this time. I sighed.

"As soon as I got home, I hugged my entire family, who were shocked as hell by my impromptu show of emotion. When I saw Tanya, I hugged and kissed her until she was pushed me away telling me I was crazy," he laughed, "I stayed away from James. I didn't want to have any kind of contact with him. After the whole Tanya proposal fiasco I saw him one more time. It was a few months after later. I was on the beach, thinking things over. Actually, I was wallowing in self-pity and loathing, feeling suffocated and lost. I was about to leave and up comes James and Tanya, hand in hand, walking along the shore," he said angrily and I felt bad for him. That was such a slap in the face.

"I basically told James that Tanya was all his, that I didn't want her anymore. James was playing the defensive, trying to protect her from me. FROM ME!" he roared and I flinched, "I told him I wasn't going to hurt her and how I had felt about her. Then I him and it felt so damn good," he laughed again. _I bet it did! _I couldn't help but smile. I wished I had had the balls to do that when James touched me. I shuddered at that thought. **He touched me!** _Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick. _

I looked up at Edward and he was looking at me. He looked tired, exhausted. He rubbed his face with his hands then rand his hand through his hair. He sighed and came to sit down in front of me. I could see the apprehension in his face, like he was steeling himself for a fight. _I had to laugh mentally. He has no idea. _

"I know you have tons of questions. But, first, please let me apologize again for getting you mixed up in all of this," he said with sincerity.

I had to compose myself before I could start. He gave me so much to think about and he did apologize but I was still mad about the entire situation.

"Okay…let me say this one thing first before I begin the questions I had. I know that you never had any intention of something like this happening. The universe can play some sick jokes something. But, I am still pissed that this is happening…" He made a move like he wanted to speak but I raised my hand to cut him off. _It's my turn to speak, damn it! _"Let me finish, you owe me that," I scoffed. Let him deny me this and so help me God, he would live to regret it. Thankfully he nodded, so I continued, "Thank you. James is one sick fucker and now that he knows you and your family are here, he's out for blood. As for me, I am assuming I am an added bonus."

I heard him growl. I looked at him incredulously. _Seriously!_ "Tell me I'm wrong, Edward," I challenged.

"I will not let that happen, Bella. I told you that. I will not let what happened to Bree happen to you or anyone else," He said staring intently at me. His eyes were full of remorse. So much emotion playing behind those dark emerald eyes, "I know I should have done something, but I was afraid for my family, but I WILL NOT allow it to happen again," he said with anger and conviction. It was so much guilt for one person. I could see his body shaking with the anger he was trying to suppress.

"Edward, now is not the time to go all vigilante on James," I said contemptuously, "Why can't we say something to campus police?"

He scoffed, "Because, it would be our word against his and he could get us for harassment."

"Even though it is true," I said heatedly.

"There's no proof! All because of my inability to grow a pair and also because Bree never went to the police…" he trailed off running his hands through his hair again.

"Edward, you need to stop blaming yourself," I said angrily. _Enough of the self-pity already_. "Enough is enough. No more pity parties. It's time to deal with it head on," I said forcefully.

He snorted, "Easy for you to say. I allowed him to stay in the free world and now he's taken a liking to you," he pointed at me. He was making me so angry.

"STOP!" I yelled.

"NO, Bella! James is the type of man that once he sets his mind on something, he WILL find a way to get it," he roared.

_Damn him!_ I stared him down. _Who does he think he is?_ He rolled his eyes at me and then closed them. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath in and out. _I need to get myself in check. _This was not all his fault and I knew this was hard for him. So much happened to him this year and that crap with James in high school. I shuddered at the memory of Edward's story. I watched as he slowly got himself calmed down and he suddenly opened his eyes.

He looked at me for a moment before he spoke, "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to yell," he started to get worked up again, "Argh, damn him…fuck…" he stopped and took a couple of deep breaths, "Please…please…" he pleaded.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go to him, comfort him in some way. I went over to where he was sitting and kneeled in front of him. I hesitantly placed my hand over his. As soon as I did he looked up at me. I felt that burn I feel every time I touch him. The moment I touched him I felt my body relax and I could feel Edward relax under my hand. After a few moments he removed his hand from underneath mine. I felt the loss immediately and I looked away. Then suddenly I felt the heat from his hand against my cheek. I looked up at him in surprise.

"Please, Bella, tell me that you will let me handle James. Stay away from him at all cost," he said. I felt the weight of those words. I took a hold of his other hand in reassurance, trying to soothe him. "Don't be alone under any circumstance. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you," he said fearfully. I caught a glimpse of an emotion in his eyes, and then it disappeared. _What was that?_

"I will…under one promise…" I trailed off, waiting for his response.

"What is that?" he asked, curious. His head cocked to the side, like he was trying to figure out what I was going to say.

"You will NOT put yourself in harm's way. If something happens, you will not go off on some tangent and go after James. I mean it!" I growled and I felt him shift under me. I saw his jaw clench in agitation. "From what I know your family lost you when the stuff with Tanya went down." I cringed internally when I mentioned her name. I didn't mean to bring it up, but it was the only way I could get my point across. I continued, "You cannot put them through that again. It's not fair to them or to _you!_"

I really didn't want to play the family guilt trip card, but he needed to be reminded of what his family went through while he was going through his rough time. Edward rolled his eyes at me and I squeezed his hand in frustration. "I MEAN IT, EDWARD!" I growled. He was seriously pissing me off. This was not a game.

"Fine…fine…I promise. I will not go after James…alone," he said. I knew what he was trying to do.

"That's not what I mean and you know it. You are not to go after James, period, alone or not. If you can't promise me…" I let him hang on that. _What? What am I going to say to him? Oh! Maybe I could… NO! You know better than that Swan. James is a sick, twisted person and you know what he is capable of per Edward._ But, if there was a way I could help…

"Uh uh, HELL NO, DON'T even think about it!" he said roughly.

I shrugged my shoulders in defiance, "Well, you are not the only one who can find a way to deal with James. He came to me, remember?" I said nonchalantly. His face fell and I immediately regretted that tactic. He took my head in between both of his hands and stared straight into my eyes. The look in his eyes was so intense. I felt my body burn with that intensity. _Oh my!_

"I promise you, I will not go after James," he said almost frantically. I couldn't help feel a little smug about it. I had to fight back the huge grin that wanted to break out across my face. _Mental pat on the back._

So I smiled instead, "Fine, I will not go out alone and I will stay as far away from James as possible. Instant relief radiated from him. His right hand slowly moved from my cheek to brush a few stray hairs behind my ear. _God, that feels so good…._ I closed my eyes to savior the feeling. _I'm in so much trouble._

I heard him sigh and I opened my eyes to look at him.

"Bella, I have to get ready to go to my next class," he said, annoyed.

I looked over at the clock and jumped up. I hadn't realized it was so late. "Oh damn, me too. I have class in less than thirty minutes," I said quickly. I went over to my desk and threw my books into my bag.

"Where is your class?" he asked.

I was still rummaging through my desk looking for my journal, "Um…in the Art building…I have Art history." Then I remembered that Alice was supposed to be in the class with me. "Oh, and Alice is in my class," I said excitedly.

"Do you mind if I walked with you?" he asked hesitantly. I stopped what I was doing and turned to look at him. I saw the worry and fear in his eyes. _It starts now *Sigh* this is going to be fun._

I sighed outwardly this time, "Sure." I gathered everything I needed and we left. There was a slight awkward silence for a few moments. I decided to break said silence.

"So, what's your next class?"

"Um, music theory…" he said looking into the sky.

"You're a musician?" I asked curiously. Surprised was more like it.

He shrugged and sighed, "I used to be." He glanced over at me and his eyes widened quickly and then returned to normal. What did he mean by 'used to be'?

"What do you mean, used to be?" His brows furrowed and he pursed his lips. _What now?_

"Well, I used to play up until the night with Tanya," he muttered.

"Oh," I quipped. _Good one Swan. Cue eye roll._

He sighed as he continued, "My heart wasn't in it anymore."

"Too bad. I would have liked to have heard you play."

"Maybe some time when I find something that moves me again." He sounded so hopeless and it was enough to break your heart. I hated seeing him like this. He needed to find a way to move past this and live his life again. He should be happy! I waited as he seemed to pull into himself. He had his hands in his pockets and his head was down, defeated. _I can't stand this! Enough!_ I had to break him out of this….whatever it was. I went to say something but he had beat me to it.

"So, what are you majoring in?"

I was a little surprised by this. "Um, I'm an English major. Writing is a passion of mine. Uh, I want to be a writer – fiction mainly. I used to write poetry and short stories, nothing major. What about you?" I asked trying to take the spotlight off of me. I hated being the center of attention.

He laughed softly, "I'm majoring in pre-med." _Say what? Doctor?_ He looked at me and laughed, "What?"

"Oh, nothing, I honestly can't picture you as a doctor," I chuckled. The look in his face made me laugh harder. "Sorry, didn't mean to offend you," I said trying to stop my laughter.

"What do you mean you can't picture me as a doctor?" he asked using air quote around my statement.

"You don't seem the type honestly. I pictured you more like a bad ass rocker," I snorted. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. _How freaking embarrassing. Strike me dead, please! Where the hell did that come from?_

He laughed at my embarrassment. "Well, to be honest, music is my passion…was my passion. It is actually my minor. My parents only agreed to it if I majored in something I could and I quote 'fall back on' unquote."

I laughed this time. "But pre-med? Why did you choose that?" I asked. I was actually very curious as to why.

He shrugged, "My father is a doctor. A damn good one at that. I see the passion for it in his eyes. I thought maybe I would see what the fuss was all about."

Wow was all that came to mind.

"It's a lot of work!" I said, still quite stunned.

"Yeah it is, but it's worth it," he said with promise.

"Wow, well good for you," I said enthusiastically.

He chuckled, "Thanks." _Oh my God, he's blushing! Freaking blushing – Cute!_ I couldn't help it but I started giggling. _He was totally adorable._ I think I embarrassed him because he couldn't even look at me.

We finally made it to the Art building. Edward coerced me into having him walk me to my class. I tried to stop him, but after everything that had happened recently I gave up protesting. He obviously was not budging on it. _Fine._

He stopped when we reached the classroom door. For a moment I thought Edward was going to escort me to my desk.

"Thank you for walking me here, Edward, now you can go," I said teasingly while I pushed him away from the door. He was making it hard for me to move him. _Ass._ "GO!" I growled at him.

He laughed. _Oh, he wants to play huh!_ I shoved him one more time. He laughed harder. "Fine, be that way. I will see you later for lab, right?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. I guess we'll meet again later, partner," I said as I winked at him before I turned and walked into the room.

_I am so screwed!_

I found a couple of empty desks together so Alice and I could sit next to one another. I had no idea what to do about Alice. There was no way I would be saying anything to her. First of all it wasn't my place to say anything and secondly, I wouldn't know where to even begin. So much had happened since I arrived at school. *Sigh*

My mind was working overtime with Edward's big revelation, confession, whatever you wanted to call it. Now that I knew how bad James could be, I couldn't help but worry about what that meant for me. I wondered what James wanted with me. He asked me to a frat party this weekend, but that was before he knew about my connection to Edward and Alice…right? I had no clue what to think anymore.

"Bella?"

I looked up at and Alice was standing next to my desk. _Shit!_

"Alice! Uh…hey," I said, having a hard time coming up with my next word,

Her brows furrowed. "Are you okay?" she asked concerned.

"Um…yeah…I'm fine. I was just lost in my own thoughts, that's all," I said trying to placate her.

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at me.

"What?" I balked. _What is she thinking?_

She opened her mouth and then closed it. She did it one more time, sighed and then sat down at the desk across from me.

"What?" I asked, annoyed now.

She shrugged, "Nothing."

"I'm not buying it, Alice." I scowled at her.

"What are you hiding?" she asked sounding hurt.

I blanched. How did she know? "W-Wh-What are you talking about?"

"It's bad isn't it?" she asked quietly.

"Alice, what are you talking about?"

She sighed, "You had your talk with Edward." I nodded. "The look on your face when I came in…" her voice trailed off. I gasped and she looked directly at me. "What did he say to you?"

"We just talked," I said nonchalantly, looking down at my notebook that was lying on the desk.

She scoffed, "Uh huh, I don't believe you."

"We did!" I said defensively. I looked around the room as soon as I realized I said that a little too loud, "Alice, believe me when I tell you that we did talk and things were said, but those things were spoken in confidence. Please, don't make me break that trust he put in me," I pleaded with her.

She opened her mouth to speak but the professor walked into the class. _Bless her. Perfect timing._ Alice glanced at me and turned to face the front of the class. I felt myself relax and I let out a huge gust of air.

Just like the other classes, this was going to be an introductory class. Professor Stuart handed out the syllabuses to the class; while she did I leaned over to Alice.

"Alice…are we okay?" I really didn't want her to be mad at me. I saw her shoulders slump and she sighed.

"Of course we are, Bella. I know if Edward wants me to know then he'd tell me," she looked at me and her eyes showed signed of unsheded tears. "He's been through so much and I don't want to see him hurt anymore."

I placed my hand on hers and she gave me a small smile.

"It's going to be okay, Alice. Trust me."

She nodded. "I truly hope so, Bella," she whispered.

Professor Stuart advised us of the supplemental books and supplies we would need before she began discussing the syllabus. I saw Alice pull her phone out and snickered. She started typing a response into her phone. When she was done she leaned over to me and chuckled.

"Edward is being his overprotective self again," she said with a smile.

"Why do you say that?" I asked knowing full well the reason why.

"He was just checking up on me and wanted to make sure _we_ were safe," she said pointing to her and me.

I smiled, of course he would check. "What did you tell him?"

She snorted, "I told him we were fine and not to worry." _Easy for you to say._

The professor continued to go over the requirements and assignments. I felt my phone vibrate. _Who the hell would be calling me?_ My heart jumped in my throat suddenly. Mom? Dad? Jacob? I quickly took my phone from my back pocket and tapped the screen. It was a text from Edward. _Uh oh. Now what?_ I opened the message.

_**Um, hey, sorry to text this to you, but can I ask you a favor? Please don't say anything to Alice about what we talked about. I am actually planning on telling them all real soon. I need to make sure they are all protected too. – Edward**_

_Wow. Okay. Lost for words here._ First things first, I wouldn't say anything to Alice. It wasn't my place. Second, thank goodness he was going to tell his family. I typed back my response.

_**Don't worry Edward. I won't say anything to anyone. It is not for me to tell. Alice tried to get me to say something, but I stayed quiet. Good luck on telling your family. They will be grateful, believe me! I will see you later. – Bella**_

"Is everything okay?" I heard Alice ask. I lifted my head and looked over at her. "Yeah, everything is good," I said reassuringly. She nodded.

"So, are you going to with Rosalie and me this weekend?" she asked as she bounced up and down in her seat with excitement.

I chuckled, "What do you guys have planned?"

"It's a girls' day out," she squealed whispered, "A day at the spa, shopping, lunch…just a day to relax and spend time with each other."

"I don't know about all that. I'm not really much of a shopper." Truthfully, I hated shopping, loathed it.

She pouted. _Damn her! _"Please, Bella. Come with us. It'll be fun." Her bottom lip jutted out more for her full on pout mode.

I rolled my eyes and huffed, "Fine…I'll go, but I can't guarantee that I'll have any _fun."_

She giggled, "Oh, I'll make sure you will."

"We'll see," I scoffed. She continued to giggle and I rolled my eyes again. I felt my phone vibrate again. It was another text from Edward.

_**First, thank you for not saying anything. Second, I have another favor to ask. I know I don't deserve it. I will bed and plead *on my knees*, but I would like to ask you to be there when I tell my family. – Edward. **_

I gasped and I could feel Alice staring at me. _Uh uh, nope, not going to look at her. _I couldn't believe what he was asking. I was completely stunned but awed by the request. Shocked in the fact that he asked me and awed that he felt comfortable enough with me to be there. Maybe since I already knew, it might make it easier for him.

_**I would be honored to be there, only if you are sure. – Bella**_

I needed him to be sure. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable in such a stressful and emotional environment. I got a response quickly.

_**I'm definitely sure. Please. Thank you. I will let you know when. – Edward**_

_Good._

He didn't respond and I could feel Alice burning holes into my head. _Oh God._ He obviously didn't hear my silent plea because at that moment Professor Stuart released up for the day. _Perfect, just perfect._ I could feel the tension radiating from Alice. I hesitantly glanced over in her direction and I could see the confusion and hurt on her face. She opened her mouth to say something but I held up my hand to stop her. I shook my head knowing what I she was going to ask. She closed her mouth and sighed. We got up and gathered our things in silence. As we headed towards the exit, Alice's phone went off.

I started walking again towards the door again and Alice grabbed a hold of my arm. I looked back at her and she shook her head no. I furrowed my brow in confusion. She held up her index finger signaling me to hold on.

She gasped when she read the text.

"It's from Edward. He said he just saw James walk into the building." My heart stopped. _Shit._

"What does he want us to do?" I asked nervously.

"I don't know. Hold on, I'll ask him," said as she typed furiously away on her phone. I couldn't help but look around the room. _Paranoid much._

Her phone beeped, "He said to stay where we were. He's coming up to the room," she said quickly.

I rolled my eyes and Alice chuckled.

"I know he's your brother and all, but I have to ask. Is he always like this?"

She smiled, "Yeah pretty much."

I laughed, "Great, just great." She started laughing too.

Both of our heads snapped to the door when Edward rushed in. He looked over Alice first and then he looked over to me. I saw his face visibly relax.

"You both okay?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes," we said in unison.

"Good, let's get out of here before we run into James," Edward said forcefully although he was still out of breath.

"Did he see you?" Alice asked.

"NO." he growled. He looked over at me and I knew that he wanted to confront James, but he had made a promise. I nodded in acknowledgement and I saw his jaw clench. _This is going to be hard for him._

"Come on, let's go," I said as I started to walk towards the door, yet again. I was so ready to get out of here. Edward made sure we were together and the coast was clear before we finally exited the classroom.

**~*MoTH*~**

Thankfully we didn't run into James as we left the Art building. Alice kept up most of the conversation while we walked. I would catch Edward looking at me every now and then. I wondered what he was thinking. I knew he has a lot going through his mind and so far, I was his only outlet. There was an uncomfortable silence lingering for a few minutes before Alice broke it.

"Edward, what are you doing this weekend?" Alice asked.

There was no answer from him. Alice and I looked back at him and he seemed lost in thought. He kept looking around, like he was searching for something….or someone.

She called his name, "Edward?"

Still nothing. We both stopped walking until Edward ran into us. He jumped back with a confused look on his face.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Alice asked concerned.

"Hmmm?" He answered still in a daze.

Now it was my turn. "Edward? Where were you just now?"

I saw his body tense suddenly. That was not a good sign.

"Um…I just got lost in my head for a bit, sorry," he murmured.

Alice went over to him and tentatively placed her hand on him arm. He fought to keep from pulling away from her. After a few moments his body relaxed minutely and he looked down at Alice.

"Sorry about that sis. It's just been a crazy day and there are a lot of things going on in my mind right now. It's kind of a jumbled mess and I'm trying to work it out." He looked over at me quickly and then back at her. She glanced at me and then back at Edward with a confused look. The same one she gave me in class earlier. _I hope she doesn't lose it when Edward finally tells them what has been going on._

"It's okay," she said gently.

"No, it's not, Alice, but hopefully it will be soon," he sighed.

"What are you talking about, Edward?" she asked.

"You'll find out soon….you will _all_ find out soon. Just give me a chance to sort out how I am going to tell you guys. It's a difficult topic for me to think about let alone discuss," he said roughly.

Alice gasped. I think she realized what Edward was referring to. "You are going to tell us what you meant earlier by saying, 'you don't know the _whole_ story'?" He nodded. She took a surprised step back. _What is she doing?_ She stood there for a minute staring at Edward. She was so still, I wasn't sure she was even breathing.

She blinked, which took me by surprise. She opened her mouth and breathed, "Really?"

"Yes," he said weakly.

She placed her hand over her mouth and I saw a lone tear fall down her cheek.

Edward gasped. "Alice, please don't cry…please," he pleaded.

She shook her head, "I'm not crying because I am upset. I'm crying because I am so happy you are finally going to tell us what happened," she choked out a laugh.

I smiled. I knew everything was going to be okay. I felt sorry for Edward because he would have to relive the ordeal of telling the story again, but he needed to be open and honest with his family. They needed to know how bad James really was so they could watch out for each other.

I watched as Edward's body relaxed considerably and he stepped over to Alice and enveloped her in a tight hug. I heard her cry a little bit more, but I believed it was a happy cry. Hopefully soon she would have her brother back completely.

"Awe…isn't family a wonderful thing?" I heard a malevolent voice say behind me. I felt my body cringe inward. The hairs on the back of neck stood on end. Edward and Alice's heads snapped to my direction and I saw the rage and hatred pouring from their eyes. Edward released Alice quickly and was at my side in less than a second. I hesitated in turning around. I knew who it was. I just didn't want to see it for myself, but I reluctantly did.

James. _Fuck!_

Edward got in front of me and pushed me further behind him. Alice came up behind me, grasping my hand. She had a death grip on it.

"What the fuck do you want?" Edward seethed.

"Aw come on Eddie boy. That's not a nice way to treat an old friend now is it?" he said sarcastically.

"Are you fucking insane? Friend? Seriously? Is that before or after you fucked my girlfriend and stole her away from me…or better yet…how about after spring break in Port Angeles?" he roared. I tensed at his questions. _Oh my god! Is he seriously bringing this up now, here?_

James howled with laughter. I could feel Edward's body shake with anger and hatred. I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards me.

"I see you found another bitch to play with, huh Eddie?" he said motioning to me.

Edward tried to go after James, but Alice and I wouldn't let go of him.

He snarled, "You better get the fuck away from me, James. I am not afraid of you this time. I will kill you if you come near me or my family again." His voice laced with conviction and a promise. "Oh, and just so you know, that also includes Bella as well. If you see her, walk away. Don't talk to her. Don't even think about her." His breathing was heavy and harsh. He was still shaking with anger.

"What is she to you?" he sneered, "Oh, don't tell me. Is she another Tanya for you?" He laughed. Alice growled and I heard a rumble coming from Edward's chest. _What the hell did I get in the middle of? _He was still fighting to go after James, but Alice and I fought hard to keep him with us. Surely two small girls weren't enough to truly keep him away from James. I think we kept him half grounded so he wouldn't do anything to get us hurt.

I came from behind Edward, shoving him back. "James, get away from here. Do you really want to cause a scene? Get in trouble with campus security?" I asked condescendingly, "I would be more than happy to make sure they know that you keep harassing the Cullen's and me." He suddenly froze for moment, but then chuckled.

"I see you have girl fighting your battles for you this time, Eddie. Tragic," he sneered, "Where is the guy that hit me that day on the beach?" he arched his brow in a challenge. I felt Edward push against me. I pushed back. _Oh hell no!_

"Edward, you better stay put. He's not worth it," I whispered yelled. I heard the rumble again. "Edward!" I yelled. James started laughing again.

I looked back at James, "GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed, loud enough for the other students to hear. There was instant silence. The only sounds I could hear were the blood rushing in my ears and Edward's breathing.

James turned to walk in the opposite direction but stopped after a couple steps and looked back at us. "This isn't over, Eddie…..Bella." He winked and turned back around, walking away.

A huge rush of air left my lungs the moment he was out of range. It felt like I had been holding it forever. I could still feel Edward shaking behind me and Alice was crying. _What the hell just happened?_

I turned to face Edward. Anger still predominate emotion coming from him. I take his head in my hands and pull his head down to face me, although he wasn't looking at me.

"Edward, look at me," I said firmly. His eyes were still moving wildly in all directions. "Look at me damn it!"

His eyes finally focused on mine. I watched as the anger slowly diminished in his eyes and it was replaced by sorrow and remorse.

"Are you okay?" he asked barely above a whisper. I nodded.

"Are _you_ okay?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No. I want to hurt him, Bella. I want to make him suffer for everything he did to me and the other's he hurt," he said angrily.

"I know you do, but he isn't worth it. He will get what is coming to him. Fate has a way of doing that and payback is a bitch," I said with a smirk, trying to calm him down.

I felt the shaking in his body slowly fade away. He closed his eyes and took a few deeps breaths in and out. When he opened his eyes, they no longer held any of the previous emotions he was feeling. There was something there but I couldn't quite place what it was. He took my hands from his face and held onto my left one while he turned to look at Alice.

She wasn't crying anymore but her eyes were still red and puffy. She was shaking a little bit.

"Alice," he called her name as he cupped her cheek, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, "Ye-yeah, I-I'm fine. I'm still in shock over the confrontation with James. I honestly thought you would have killed him if given the chance."

"I could have, Alice. I could have. If you two weren't here, I probably would be on my way to prison for murder," he said matter-of-factly. Alice and I both gasped.

"NO, Edward. I can't lose you again!" she choked out.

"I'm not going anywhere sis. Please believe me. I made a promise to Bella and I don't plan on backing out of it." He turned to look at me and smiled. He looked back to Alice who had a slightly confused look on her face. He groaned, "I will explain it all when I tell you guys everything, okay?"

She sighed, "Okay…when are you going to tell us?" _She doesn't beat around the bush does she?_

"Give me a couple days to get my thoughts together, please?" he pleaded. "I know you and Rosalie are going to be doing your girls' thing this weekend, but how about after that. It will give me some time to think and figure things out, plus by that time the first week of classes will be over. After everything that has happened these past two days, I'm kind of drained right now."

"Fine, I'm good with that. Have you told Emmett yet?"

"No, I was supposed to meet up with him later to go over some things. I'll ask him then."

He turned back to me. "You'll be there right?" The look in his eyes was that of fear, like I might have changed my mind.

"I told you I would be, didn't I?" I said teasingly. I saw the small twitch in the corner of his lips like he wanted to smile.

"Yes, yes you did. Thank you."

Alice jumped in, "Aren't you still coming with Rosalie and me?"

I groaned, "Yes, since I was coerced into it by an overwhelming pout."

Alice laughed and Edward looked surprised. "Don't tell me that that doesn't work on you?" I challenged.

He lifted his hands in surrender, "I plead the fifth." Alice huffed in displeasure. "Don't even go there little pixie. You know full well what you are capable of. We just can't resist your _charms_," he laughed.

"Fine, whatever. Let's go before anymore drama finds us. How about some dinner?" Alice asked.

"Sure," Edward and I said.

As we walked towards the dining hall, one thing kept playing over and over in my mind.

'_It's not over Eddie….Bella'_

_Again, I ask, what the hell did I get myself into?_

_**A/N: Well, that was a lot to digest. I hope I didn't scare you off. I actually enjoy writing James' character. He is one twisted fuck. Please let me know what you think. I need some love!**_


	17. Chapter 15  Facing the Music  Part I

**C/N: I know it's been a while since the last update. I apologize, there really is no excuse. I will try to uphold my promise to getting updates out every two weeks. Editing all my previous chapters has become a bit of a hassle and has taken a lot of time away from writing new chapters. So again, I apologize.**

**Now with that out of the way, on to the chapter. I have to let you guys know this upfront. This is a REALLY long chapter. This part alone is over 10K words – 24 pages, so I'm going to have to break it up in to two parts. A lot is going on and everyone is involved this time. Edward has made a decision to tell **_**everyone**_** what happened with James, but right now, he has to make sure everyone is safe until he does. Be nice to Edward, he's been through hell and it is coming back to bite him in the ass. I won't give anymore away right now, just read on. **

Chapter 15

EPOV

_Where the hell is he going? _I watched as he made his way to the entrance of the building. _He better not go after the girls._ I wanted to run after him, confront him…who was I kidding, I wanted to kick his ass. I would have if I hadn't promised Bella that I wouldn't. _I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass, damn!_ I stood there staring at him until he disappeared. My heart jumped in my throat. _FUCK!_

I needed to make sure they were safe. I had to text Alice, NOW!

_**Ali, I just saw James walk into you building. – Edward**_

I started to make my way towards the building. _He better not touch them. I kill him. _ I felt my heart trying to pound its way out of my chest. I heard my phone chime an alert as soon as I reached for the door.

_**Are you serious? What do we need to do? They just let our class go for the day. – Alice**_

_Shit! Not good!_

_**Just stay in the classroom. I'm on my way up. – Edward**_

I looked for James as I ran up through the building and up the stairs. I quickly made my way to their classroom, almost busting through the door. They were both frozen in shock and that had me worried. I looked over at Alice. My eyes moved over her form from head to toe. I turned to Bella and did the same thing. They seemed to be okay, but just to put my mind at ease I needed to hear them say it. My lungs felt like they were on fire. I suddenly realized that I was holding my breath. I let the air out in a quick gust.

"You both okay?" I panted, looking back forth between them.

"Yes," they said in unison.

"Good, let's get out of here before we run into James." I had to fight back the bile that was steadily rising in my throat at the mere mention of _his _name.

"Did he see you?" Alice asked, worriedly.

"NO." I growled. I honestly wished I had. I knew James. He would have found a way to provoke me…I would have let him. It would have given me the opportunity to go after him without technically breaking my promise to Bella. I looked over to her and I saw that she was watching me. The look of understanding was evident in her eyes, but she quickly looked away.

She started to walk toward the exit. "Come on, let's go," she said.

I made it to the door before she did. I wasn't going to take the chance of her _bumping_ into James. I had them wait while I checked the hallway outside their class. I kept looking around the area while we walked, every now and then my gaze would fall upon Bella. I couldn't believe how well she was handling everything that had happened in such a short amount of time. _And it was all because of me._ I was thankful that she hadn't run for the hills or pass judgment on me after I told her everything about my horrid filled past. She kept telling me that it wasn't my fault. _I still don't agree with that. I will always carry that guilt. _A couple of times I looked at Bella I caught her staring back at me. _I wonder what she is thinking about. I hope she won't change her mind about being with me when I told my family._ For some reason she made me feel completely…safe…_No…there was no way. How could I feel that about a girl I just met? _I mentally growled at myself. _Cullen, don't do this to yourself. You're gonna regret it. _But I couldn't help how easy she made it for me to talk after I almost lost it. She seemed genuinely concerned for me. Also, she basically called me out on my shit. I had to bite back a chuckle. _God, what is happening to me? I can't do this…_

Out of the blue I ran into something. _What the...?_ I jumped back and looked around. How did I let myself get lost in my thoughts? I was supposed to be looking out for James. I looked at Alice and Bella. They had concerned looks on their faces. _What did I miss?_

"Edward, what's wrong?" Alice asked. _What's going on?_

For some reason I couldn't get myself to answer her.

Bella moved in my direction. She had her head tilted to the side and her brows were furrowed. "Edward? Where were you just now?"

_Oh shit…how did she know?_ "Um…I just got lost in my head for a bit, sorry," I said, looking away from them. I was surprised by the slight pressure I felt on my upper arm. It took everything I had not to yank my arm away. I looked down at Alice and I saw that her eyes were glistening with unsheded tears. _I can't keep shutting them out._ "Sorry about that, sis. It's just been a crazy day and there are a lot of things going on in my mind right now. It's kind of a jumbled mess and I'm trying to work it out," I said as I looked over at Bella. She gave me knowing nod and I turned back to Alice. She had a confused look on her face. She stared at me for a sec and then turned to look at Bella. She stared at her for a brief moment and then turned back to me. I caught the flash of hurt in her eyes and then it was gone.

"It's okay," she said softly.

'**NO IT'S NOT**' I wanted to scream, but I didn't. I sighed, "No, it's not, Alice, but hopefully it will be soon."

Alice looked even more confused. "What are you talking about, Edward?"

I wasn't ready to tell her. I couldn't. I started to get anxious. Panic was the dominant emotion running through me at that moment. _STOP! _I needed time…time to collect myself, my thoughts. "You'' find out soon…you will _all_ find out soon. Just give me a chance to sort out how I am going to tell you guys. It's a difficult topic for me to think about let alone discuss," I said roughly.

I barely heard the loud gasp that came from Alice. "You are going to tell us what you meant by saying, 'you don't know the _whole _story'?" I nodded slowly and she took a hesitant step back. She just stood there staring me. I almost started to squirm under her stare, but I started to get nervous. _What have I done to her?_ I was about to take a step towards her but she broke the silence. "Really?" she breathed.

"Yes," I said just as soft. I hoped she wasn't mad at me. What she did next about made my heart stop. I saw her bottom lip start to quiver, while she slowly covered with her mouth with her hand. I saw a lone tear makes its' way down her check. _Oh no!_

"Alice, please don't cry…please," I pleaded. She started shaking her head and I was about to lose my mind. _I can't seem to do anything right._

"I'm not crying because I am upset. I'm crying because I am so happy you are finally going to tell us what happened," she choked through a laugh at the end.

I finally let out the air I was holding in. _Oh Thank God._ I felt a little bit lighter at the prospect that everything _might_ be okay, but I was still apprehensive. I walked over to my sister and pulled her into the tightest hug I could muster.

"Awww…isn't family a wonderful thing?" I knew that voice. My entire body tensed and my head snapped to where that voice from hell came from. My heart rate spiked. _James._ _FUCK!_ I realized that Bella was in front of me and Alice. James was closer to her than either of us. I moved so quick that the movement seemed like a blue. I pushed Bella further behind me. There was no way that fucker would come any closer to them. I heard and felt the blood rushing in ears. I saw a red tinge surrounding my vision.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked through gritted teeth. I was ready to rip his head off.

"Aw, come on, Eddie Boy. That's not a nice way to treat a friend now is it?" he asked sarcastically.

"Are you fucking insane? Friend? Seriously? Is that before or after you fucked my girlfriend and stole her away from me…or better yet…how about after spring break in Port Angeles?" I roared. I felt the rage flowing like fire through my veins. My body vibrated from it. Even with the way my body was reacting, James' malevolent laughter broke through the haze of anger I was in. I saw him pointing at Bella.

"I see you found another bitch to play with huh, Eddie?"

That was the last straw. I was ready. I wanted to kill him, rip him apart. I tried to lunge at him but I was being pushed back, blocked. _What the hell? Why was I not moving?_ I barely registered the fact that Alice and Bella were holding me back. I had to fight myself to keep from pushing past them, hurting them in the process.

"You better get the fuck away from me, James. I am not afraid of you this time. I will kill you if you come near me or my family again. Oh, and just so you know, that also includes Bella as well. If you see her…walk away. Don't talk to her. Don't even think about her," I growled.

"What is she to you? – Oh, don't tell me, is she another Tanya for you?" He laughed. My resolve was fading fast. I think Bella realized that because she moved herself in front of me, her back to my front. She was steadily pushing me back while she was staring James down.

"James, get away from here. Do you really want to cause a scene? Get in trouble with campus security?" I heard the condensation in her voice. She continued, "I would be more than happy to make sure they know that you keep harassing the Cullens and me." I saw James tense for a second and then revert back to the asshole he was.

"I see you have a girl fighting your battles for you this time, Eddie. Tragic. Where is the guy that hit me that day on the beach?" he sneered, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. I knew he was trying to goad me and I was falling for it. _He's mine! I'm gonna kill him. Rip him to pieces. _I started to go after James but I was being blocked again. I kept pushing but I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't realize it at first but Bella was saying something to me.

"…stay put. He's not worth it," she said forcefully. I wasn't trying to hear it. All I saw was red. She yelled at me this time. "Edward?" It took every bit of strength and concentration I had to stop myself from continuing to go after James. I heard his laughter in the back of my, egging me on. All I was focusing on was trying to calm myself. My breathing was erratic and my heart was slamming against my chest. I heard Bella scream at James to get out of here and then nothing. He started to walk away but stopped and turned around.

"This isn't over, Eddie…Bella," he said threateningly. I felt my body tense again. The rage made my blood boil. My body was shaking with anger. I watched as he walked away. I wanted to follow him, but I couldn't. My body was too worked up and I couldn't focus clearly. I felt someone grab my face and pull it down. I heard a voice trying to break through the rage. _I need to focus. Calm down._

"Look at me damn it!" Bella growled. My eyes locked onto hers. I saw the concern and worry etched in her face. So many emotions swimming in her eyes. _I could have gotten them hurt. Damn it._

"Are you okay?" I barely breathed out the question.

She nodded. "Are _you _okay?" she asked. I was nowhere close to being okay. I still wanted to run after him and kill him.

I shook my head. "No, I want to hurt him, Bella. I want to make him suffer for everything he did to me and the other's he hurt."

She looked at me with sympathy. "I know you do, but he isn't worth it. He will get what is coming to him. Fate has a way of doing that and _payback is a bitch_," she said with a smirk. I knew what she was trying to do and it was helping, but I needed to get myself under control. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I opened them Bella was still smiling and that made me calm down even more. _How does she do that? How can she have that kind of control over me? _God, if anything happened to either of them because of me…I didn't even want to think about it. Her hands were still on my face. I felt that current I always feel each time we touch burn its' way under my skin. _Where does that come from?_ I didn't have time to linger on that question. We needed to get out of here. _Alice._ I took Bella's hands from my face, but not wanting to lose that contact I kept a hold of her left hand. I turned around to check on Alice. _Oh god, look at what I've done!_

I reached out to cup her cheek. "Alice, are you okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Ye-yeah, I-I'm fine. I'm still in shock over the confrontation with James. I honestly thought you would have killed him if given the chance."

I wasn't going to lie. I knew what I could be capable of if it ever came down to it. To protect my family I would give up my life. "I could have, Alice. I could have. If you two weren't here, I probably would be on my way to prison for murder." I heard them both gasp.

"NO, Edward," she screeched. "I can't lose you again!" she choked out. _Damn it. This is all my fault._

"I'm not going anywhere, sis. Please believe me. I made a promise to Bella and I don't plan on backing out of it." I looked back at Bella. When I met her gaze, I saw her smile and I smiled in return. I turned back to see a confused look on Alice's face. I inwardly rolled my eyes. There was so much to explain. "I will explain it all when I tell you guys everything, okay?"

Alice sighed, "Okay…when are you going to tell us?" I knew she was upset by everything that had happened over the course of the year. She had every right to be. I had treated them like shit.

"Give me a couple of days to get my thoughts together, please?" I begged. "I know you and Rosalie are going to be doing your girls' thing this weekend, but how about after that? It will give me some time to think and figure things out, plus by that time the first week of classes will be over. After everything that has happened these past two days, I'm kind of drained right now." I was really tired; emotionally and physically. I honestly needed some time to re-coop.

She seemed to accept my explanation. "Fine, I'm good with that. Have you told Emmett yet?"

I shook my head. "No, I was supposed to meet up with him later to go over some things. I'll ask him then." A wave of dread…panic came over me. I turned to Bella. "You'll be there, right?"

She smiled. "I told you I would be, didn't I?" she said teasingly. I felt my heart start beating again. _Why am I doing this to myself?_

"Yes, yes you did. Thank you."

Alice broke the little safety bubble I was in. "Aren't you still coming with Rosalie and me?" she asked, looking at Bella.

Bella growled, "Yes, since I was coerced into it by an overwhelming pout." I had to bite back the laughter that was threatening to escape. I knew that pout of hers _very_ well. Alice was laughing. She knew what she was capable of. Bella looked annoyed by our reaction.

She looked at me pointedly. "Don't tell me that that doesn't work on you?" she raised her brow in challenge.

I raised my hands in surrender. "I plead the fifth." I heard Alice huff in annoyance. I turned to her. "Don't even go there little pixie. You know full well what you are capable of. We just can't resist your _charms,_" I said laughing. I could have sworn I heard Alice growl but I could be mistaken. Bella was chuckling softly beside me.

"Fine, whatever. Let's go before anymore drama finds us," Alice said dryly. "How about some dinner?"

Bella and I agreed. The three of us decided to make life easy and headed to the dining hall.

**~*MoTH*~**

The remainder of the day passed without incident. _Thank god._ I wouldn't have been able to handle anything else happening. My mind was still reeling over our run-in with James. I was emotionally and physically enchanted I wanted to go home and relax this weekend, but I knew that relaxing was going to be the furthest thing from my mind. I figured now would be as good a time as any to reveal _everything_ to my family. My stomach turned at the thought of doing it, but I knew it needed to be done. I needed everyone on the same page where James was concerned. If anything happened to them because of me, I would never be able to live through it.

Then, there was Bella, a perfect stranger who was pulled into this entirely fucked up situation. The way she handled James earlier surprised me. She was either tougher than she looked or she played the situation off very well. I truly wished she had never become involved, but for whatever reason the universe decided to play a cruel joke on me. I was not going to stand by this time and let another innocent person get hurt by that psycho motherfucker.

The knock at my door snapped me out of my inner ramblings. I shook my head to help get myself in the present. There was another knock at my door followed by Emmett's thunderous voice. "Edward! Open the door man." _Punk._ I looked at the clock as I walked to the door. _Damn. Where did the time go? _When I opened the door Emmett was standing there with an annoyed smirk on his face. "About damn time, bro. I've been knocking for the past few minutes. I almost busted down the door. What were you doing?" _What the hell!_

"Nothing, Em. I was just sitting on my bed. Guess I got lost in my thoughts."

He snorted, "Obviously."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, you have no idea what happened today. James…"

He cut me off. "What did that fucker do?" he asked angrily. I motioned to the chair. He was hesitant at first but when he realized that I wasn't going to start explaining until he did, he huffed and sat down.

I took a deep breath. "I'm not sure where to begin."

"From the beginning is usually a good place to start," he said teasingly.

"Fucker," I growled. He laughed. I rolled my eyes again. "First let me say this. I plan on telling you guys everything but not today. Actually I planned on doing it this weekend when I went home. It would make it easier to sit down with everyone there. I didn't want to have to repeat myself over and over again. It's too hard for me as it is." I almost choked. _Get a grip Cullen!_

"You alright, Edward?" I looked up at Emmett. I saw the look of concern on his face.

"Yeah, it's just hard that's all. Are you going to go home this weekend?"

"I will now. I hadn't planned on it. Do you mind if Rosie comes with me?" he asked hesitantly.

"No…I don't mind. I was going to ask Jasper to come and Bella will be there too…"I trailed off when I saw a smirk begin to play at his lips. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he laughed.

"Not nothing…what?" I asked through clenched teeth.

He smirked. "Why is Bella going to be there?" _Fucking arrogant prick. He needs to knock that shit off._

I huffed. "She's going to be there for me." That fucking smirk got bigger. I growled, "It's not what you think man!"

"Yeah, yeah…whatever you say," he said shaking his head.

"I'm serious, Em. It's not what you think. She knows."

He stopped suddenly. He slowly lifted his head and his eyes narrowed to the point where I could barely see his eyes. _Oh shit._ I heard a rumble come from him and instinctively I took a step back. "Em…" I said nervously. I didn't think he'd be this upset. He put his hand up and closed his eyes. I watched as he took long deep breaths in and out.

After what seemed like forever, he lowered his hand and opened his eyes. He finally looked up at me and what I saw there took me back. I was expecting anger, but what I saw was…hurt.

"She knows…Bella knows _everything_?" he breathed.

"Yes," I whispered. _Suck it up man this is the only beginning._ "I'm sorry. I don't want to give you any excuses. James' _interest_ in Bella kind of forced my hand," I said with disdain. I felt the bile rising in my throat.

I heard Emmett sigh. "I guess I understand why you told her. It doesn't hurt any less though, but I get it."

"I know and I am _truly_ sorry. I honestly didn't think I would have to tell you guys like this. I would have eventually, but with James in the picture again, I need to make sure everyone is **safe**," I said, stressing the last word.

Emmett nodded. "I know you've said that James was a psycho…"

I cut him off, "**IS**...**IS **a psycho. He's one twisted motherfucker," I said gruffly. "He's done some terribly heinous things which I have had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing about, and believe me, I live with the memories every day. But one thing is for sure…I WON'T allow it to happen again. He's set his sight on Bella and he always finds a way to get what he wants. I'll him before he has the chance to get his hands on another innocent girl!" I said with conviction and Emmett's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"What did he do?" he asked roughly. I saw his body start to shake. _God, do I really want to get into this now? Not really, but I need to tell him something._

"If I tell you, you promise not to go ballistic or ask a bunch of questions? I will go into detail this weekend. Right now I just need you to know what he is capable of and why I need your help to look after everyone. Promise?" He nodded. _Not good enough, damn it._ I shook my head. "nope, I want to hear you say it."

He sighed, "Fine…I promise."

A moment of panic ran through my body. _I can't believe I'm doing this._ I squeezed my eyes tight and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes I looked over at Emmett. The look of concern and understanding made what I was about to say a little bit easier. I took one more deep breath and let go.

"James raped a girl in Port Angeles." Emmett froze. Even his breathing stopped. "You remember when I went to Port Angeles for spring break my senior year?" He nodded slowly. "The last night we were there, there was a group of girls partying with us…" I trailed off. I felt a shudder rock through me.

Emmett got up and came to sit next to me. "You can stop, Edward. You've told me enough," he said softly. "I can see how much this is tearing you up. Save the rest for this weekend." He put his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "I feel for you, bro. I wished you had said something sooner."

I groaned. "I know…I know." I rubbed my hands over my face in frustration. "But…God…this is so hard…Fuck…look…James pretty much threatened our family and Tanya's lives when he found out that I knew," I said quickly.

I heard a deep growl come from Emmett. "Fucker."

"I couldn't risk it, so I kept my mouth shut. He's insane and that night topped it all," I said heatedly. Emmett got off the bed and started pacing the room. "Now you see why I freaked out yesterday. I'm worried about Ali, Em. And now Bella is missed up in all this," I said as I waved my hands around in the air.

Another growl came from him. "He won't come with in a hundred feet of them if I have anything to do with it," he said confidently. I fought back the smile that threatened to break out across my face. _Good._

"This is why I wanted to talk to you. We need to come up with a plan to make sure that James stays away from all of us…" It took everything I had to stop myself from saying _permanently_. No matter how much I found delight in that thought. I knew it would make me just like _him._ I was not _that_ fucked up.

"First of all, we need to get _everyone's _schedules together. NO ONE and I mean no one, that means you too, will go anywhere **alone**!" he said forcefully. I nodded in understanding. This was what Emmett did best. He was our family protector and right now, he was working on pure adrenaline. He pulled his phone out and started typing away. _What is he doing?_ When he was done he looked up at me. I must have had a confused look on my face because he told me that he just messaged Rose.

"I told her to meet me here. I won't tell her anything. It's not my place, but I need to make sure she's safe," he said. I snorted. "What was that for?" his brows furrowed.

"You know Rose can take care of herself. If anyone messes with her, she'll kick their ass, including yours," I said, laughing.

He laughed, "True." He suddenly stopped and his face grew serious. "But I'm not going to take any chances…" He stared at me knowingly. I knew exactly where he was coming from. "We need to get everyone together and figure this out."

A quick surge of panic shot through me. _They're going to ask questions. I'm not ready yet. I need more time._ "Can we please wait and do this this weekend?" I asked shakily.

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

"They are going to ask questions about things I'm not ready to discuss yet," I said defensively. "Do you know how hard it was to tell you what I told _you_?"

"No, I don't honestly. I haven't gone through what you have, but I'm not ready to put **our** family and friends at risk at the hands of that psycho motherfucker," he growled.

"I'm not intentionally putting them at risk, Em." I balled my hands into fists so tight that my knuckles turned white. I was pissed. I was pissed at the situation. I was pissed at Emmett for thinking I would knowingly allow that fucker to touch or hurt my family. I was pissed at myself for putting myself into this predicament. I wanted to scream all my hurt, anger and frustrations out at the top of my lungs, but honestly what good would that do? I looked at Emmett, stared straight into his eyes. "How could you think that of me?"

"I know you wouldn't do that, Edward. You aren't like that. I know you want to protect everyone. Your heart is in the right place, we just need to get your mind in that place," he said reassuringly.

"My head is a mess right now. That's why I'm asking for some time. Give me until this weekend. I'm begging you…please. I want to explain this one time, to everyone…Mom, Dad, Ali, you…even Jasper and Rose. It about killed me when I explained things to Bella. I almost lost my shit a few times. Bella kept grounding me so I didn't and _that_ is the reason I wanted her to be there. So, please, again…give me until this weekend. We will figure something out for the rest of the week. Okay?"

He sighed heavily…almost in defeat. I hated putting him in this position. "Okay, okay…I'm not going to push you to say anything. I'm glad you told me what you did today so I know who I'm up against. We _will_ figure the rest of this week out. But just between you and me, I'm ready to go hunt him down and _take care of him_, NOW," he said roughly as he pounded his fist into his hand.

I coughed a chuckle and Emmett's brows shot up in surprise. "Sorry," I choked out. I cleared my throat before I began speaking again. "You have no idea how bad I want to do exactly that. I had to fight myself quite a few times today to keep from going after him. Alice and Bell blocked me when James confronted us earlier today."

"Oh yeah…what happened with that?"

I spent the next few minutes going over everything that happened after I picked the girls up from class. He growled a couple times in reaction to what James had said. I watched as his face went from surprise to shock then to anger. His eyes were almost black and his face was bright red. He was livid.

"Are Alice and Bella okay?" he said so low I had to strain to hear him.

I nodded. "They were understandably shocked and shaken up, but we went to dinner afterwards and they seemed to be okay."

"I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe James is free to run and around and wreak havoc on our lives." He sighed. "I'm sorry. Just venting. Don't mind me."

"It's all good. I feel the exact same way. I feel sick about it because I should have done something back then but I didn't," I said with disgust.

"Edward, enough of the self-loathing. It's not your fault…" _Yes it is. I could have avoided all of this. _ I should have turned him in. Now, my family **and** Bella are mixed up in all this shit.

Emmett sat back down and glanced up at me. He must have noticed that I was lost in thought because all I heard was, "STOP IT!" I flinched in response. "Damn it, Edward. If you don't snap out of this shit you let hang over your head, you're going to lose it. We don't need you to disappear again." He was right of course. But I couldn't help how I felt; the guilt that I carried around. It was all I had known for the past two years. "I think we are done for the night. We need to relax and process everything. We'll figure out how to handle the rest of the week…tomorrow."

"Well, I will be with Alice and Bella for class tomorrow morning. I will stay with them and drop off Alice to her second class and then Bella is with me for our next two classes," I said in suggestion.

Emmett nodded. "Do you know when Ali's class let's out?" I shook my head no. "I'll check with her. I'll either get her or we can check with Rose or Jasper…" I smiled, widely. "What?" he asked, curious by my reaction.

I shrugged. "Nothing…this is a seriously fucked up situation I know…but, the thought that this could potentially throw Alice and Jasper together, finally, makes me want to laugh. Those two are driving me freakin insane!"

Emmett busted out laughing. "You and me both, bro. You and me both." His laughter was infectious. "Those two are so damned stubborn. What is holding them back?"

"I have no idea," I said through my laughter. After a couple of minutes we had to get back to the issue at hand. "Anyway, this will be interesting. But let me know who is going to get her after her class tomorrow. I have Biology with the Lab with Bella on Thursday, but I don't know if she has any additional classes. Then Alice, Bella and I have our English class in the morning on Friday, after that I have no clue what is going on."

Emmett exhaled. "We will figure it out bro. It will be okay, you'll see."

I nodded. "I hope so, Em. I don't want anyone to get hurt. I'd kill him without a second thought." Emmett nodded in agreement.

There was a knock the door. _Who in the hell is here?_ I went to answer it. When I opened the door, Rosalie was standing on the other side. _Oh shit. _I forgot that Emmett told her to come in.

"Rose…come on in," I said as I motioned into the room. She walked past me toward Emmett.

"Hey babe," he said as he got up to greet her. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her deeply.

After a few seconds she pulled back and looked directly at him. "Are you okay, Em?" He didn't say anything. She looked back at me and she got a look of determination on her face. "Okay…what's going on?"

Emmett and I looked at one another. He knew I wasn't ready to say anything, but I could see the war raging in his eyes.

I was the first to speak up. "Rose, let me just say…something has happened that will cause us to be a little bit more _protective_ of everyone." She went to open her mouth. "Before you ask…I promise that I will explain _everything_ this weekend."

She rolled her eyes. "Does this have anything to do with James?" My brows shot up in surprise and Emmett just about gasped.

"How did yo…?"

She cut me off before I could continue. "I saw him on campus." She sounded annoyed.

Emmett grabbed her and pulled her close to him. "Baby, please don't go anywhere near him. _Please,_" he pleaded.

"What is going on?" she asked, a bit of anger coming through.

"Rosie…please, just do as I ask. Don't go near him. If he comes anywhere near you, walk away. Edward will explain everything when we go home this weekend," Emmett said assuredly.

"I promise." I reassured his statement.

She looked at Emmett. "Wait. We are going home this weekend?" Then she looked over at me. "Hold on, why can't you tell me now?"

They were both looking at me. I sighed. "Look…I am asking for a little bit of time. I need…no…I would feel more comfortable at home. It would be easier to have everyone together, to explain this _one_ time. Right now, I **am** a mess. So much has happened since we've come back to school. I need to collect myself, my thoughts. Emmett and I are working the details for the rest of the week out. You will **all** understand once I explain everything." Emmett nodded in agreement.

I heard Rosalie sigh. "Fine," she said. "This had better be **good**." She seriously had no idea how bad it truly was.

"Let's go home, Rosie," Emmett said. He took her hand and started to lead her toward the door. He stopped in front of me. _What…._ He let go of Rosalie and enveloped me in a tight hug. _Oh my god…where the hell did this come from?_ "Remember, everything will be okay," he whispered in my ear. I hugged him back, tightly.

"I hope so," I said softly.

He pulled back and grabbed Rosie's hand again. "I will call you tomorrow and we can figure the rest of the week out."

"Okay…I'll see you guys soon. Love you, bro."

"Love you too, Eddie," he said.

I watched as they both left and the door closed behind them. _I hope they don't hate me after I tell them everything this weekend. I can't lose them._

I decided to take a shower, just to ease some of the tension from my body. After about fifteen minutes I realized that it wasn't working no matter how hard I wanted it to. I finally gave up and got out. I walked out into the room and was surprised to see Jasper there.

"Hey man. How's it going?" he asked.

"Um…it's going," I said nonchalantly.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"As good as I could be I guess." I hoped he would drop it.

"Do you want to talk?"

Obviously he wasn't going to give up. "Honestly, Jazz, I can't. Not right now. I'm sorry, but if you could make it home to Forks this weekend I will fill you in. I'm actually going to be telling _everyone_ what has been going on."

"Yeah, man, I can make it. Is this about James or Tanya?" _FUCK_.

"Uh…James, mostly. You guys kind of know what happened with Tanya already," I said emotionlessly, raking my hand through my hair.

"Okay…I can tell you really don't want to talk about this right now. I'll be there this weekend."

I exhaled. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath. "Thank you, Jazz."

"But honestly, are you sure you are okay, right now?"

"I've just got a lot going on in my mind right now. I don't know which way is which. I'm hoping that after this weekend, once I've explained everything, that some of this _shit_ I'm feeling will go away."

"Well, you know I'm here for you…whenever you need to talk," he said caringly.

"I know…and I'm thankful, believe me."

We were silent after that. I finished getting my things ready for class tomorrow. I was nervous about this weekend. I hoped that Bella would be there. I knew that she was going to be with the girls. So why was I freaking out at the thought of her not being there. _Why is that? _The sound of my phone going off brought me out of my internal musings. I went to check it and I heard Jasper gasp.

"Shit," he said breathlessly.

I turned to look at him. "What's the matter, Jazz?" The color had drained from his face. He looked like he was about to puke. "Are you okay man?" I nervously took a step in his direction and he looked up at me.

"What the hell is your brother thinking?" he asked in a panic.

Okay, now I was seriously confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Alice…" Was all he got out before I busted out laughing. I knew he would freak out. He looked pissed. "What the fuck, Edward?"

This was serious, I had to stop laughing. Man was it hard. "Did he ask if you could pick her up from her class tomorrow?" I coughed, trying to stifle the chuckle that was threatening to come through. He nodded. "Can you?"

"I guess so…why?" He still looked like he was about to throw up.

"Em and I are trying to make sure the girls don't go anywhere alone."

He looked at me confused. "Why?"

"This has to do with what I'm going to talk about. Let me say that it has to do with James. He can't be trusted around them," I said spitefully.

"Ooookay…I can understand that, but why do I need to pick her up from class?"

"Because I will be in class and hers lets out before mine. I'm guessing Rosie won't be able to get her, so that leaves _you_," I said with a grin.

"Why the hell are you smiling fucker?" he growled.

I shrugged. "No reason."

"Like hell…"

"So…will you be able to pick her up?" I asked.

"Yes," he growled again.

I laughed. "It's not the end of the world man. Quit acting like it is."

"Fuck off," he spat.

I put my hands up in surrender. "Fine, be that way. It's not like we are asking you to marry her." His eyes widened in shock. "Just pick her up from class."

He scowled. "Fine."

"Good…now I'm going to bed. It's been a long day and all I want to do is sleep it away," I said as I climbed into bed. Jasper followed suit. I heard him grumbling as the lights went out. I chuckled softly to myself.

I took a while for me to fall asleep. Everything from the past few days was playing in my mind. It was times like these that I wished I never knew James _or_ Tanya.

**~*MoTH*~**

The light shone brightly across my face. I cracked my eyes open. _*Groan* Another day begins._ I placed my arm across my eyes. _I don't think I'm ready for this._ I lifted my arm and turned my head to look over at Jasper's bed; he was still asleep. Good. I grabbed for my phone. I looked at the screen. It was seven forty-five. _What the hell._ My alarm hadn't even gone off yet. I slowly sat up in my bed, throwing my legs over the side. I put my head in my hands and started to rub my face. _I really hope today goes better than the others. One day without drama would be fucking fabulous._

I got out of bed and walked to the kitchenette and started coffee. While that brewed, I went to take another shower. It was a cold one this time; enough to give me a shock to my system. I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I stepped in front of the mirror; I rubbed my hand across my chin. _God, I still look like shit._ _Fuck it. I'm not going to shave._ I brushed my teeth and walked out of the bathroom.

I made my way to my closet. I pulled out jeans and a shirt and placed them on my bed. I looked over at Jasper; still asleep. I went and made a cup of coffee. After I took a few sips, I went over to my bed, placing the cup on my desk, and got dressed. I sat down on the edge of my bed and let out a huge gust of air. _I'm begging to whoever is listening; please don't let James come anywhere near us and give me the strength to get through the rest of this week. _

I ran my hand through my hair, got up and grabbed my bag. I grabbed my phone and headed out the door. There was still thirty minutes before class started. I texted Alice to see how much longer it would be before they were ready to leave for class. She didn't answer, so I tried Bella.

_**Alice is still getting ready. I think we'll be ready in fifteen, why? – Bella**_

What should I say? She knew the whole story. Would she be upset it I told her what Em and I have planned? _God, I hope not_.

_**I'm actually on my way to your room now. I want to walk to class with you guys. – Edward**_

_That was laughable. _Why couldn't I tell her the real reason?

_**Why? Does this have to do with James? – Bella**_

_Well, leave it to her to hit the nail on the head. _

_**Yes – Edward**_

It was as simple as that. Yes. I was not going to let anything happen to them if I could help it this time.

_**Understood, see you shortly. – Bella**_

She made it easy. No arguments.

_**Thank you – Edward**_

I showed up at their door less than five minutes later. Bella answered the door and waved me in. I heard Alice humming in the bathroom, I chuckled. Bella motioned to one of the chairs for me to sit and I shook my head. After about a minute Alice walked out of the bathroom and screamed.

"Edward!" she screeched with her hand over her heart.

"Sorry, Alice…I didn't mean to scare you," I said with a chuckle.

She walked over a slapped my arm. "You jerk. You scared the crap out of me." Then she looked at me with a confused looked. "What are you doing here?"

"I can to walk you two to class…is that okay?"

Her brows furrowed. Then I saw the moment that realization hit her. She nodded. "Yes, that's fine. It was just a surprise that's all." She looked at Bella and back to me. "Come on or we are going to be late."

"And it would be all your fault," Bella said teasingly.

Alice scoffed, "How is that?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "It takes you _forever_ to get ready in the morning," she said, laughing.

I snorted. "Ain't that the truth."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the both of us. "Screw the both of you. I have to look my absolute best. I'm not going to apologize for that." Bella and I started laughing harder. "Whatever…at least I know I look good. You two are the ones who need the help." We stopped laughing immediately.

"Hey," Bella cried.

"Whatever," I scoffed.

"You two dress like you are about to attend a rock concert," she mocked.

"I am comfortable. That's all that matters to me," Bella spat.

"That goes double for me," I said with a nod.

"Whatever…you two were made for each other…let's go," Alice said as she grabbed her bags. She looked back at the both of us and grinned. Bella and I didn't move. I was pretty sure that Bella had the same shocked look on her face as I did. "Come on you two."

I couldn't move. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I looked over at Bella, she was looking at me. She had a blank expression on her face. I watched as she snapped herself out of her daze and walked towards the door. _I'm going to torture my evil, conniving little pixie. _

Class was nothing special; more introduction and expectations. That is what I liked about the first week of classes. The work didn't really begin until next week. It gave everyone the chance to see if this is what they really wanted to take before the teacher got into lectures.

We sat in the same seats we did the first day. I kept looking over at Alice and she would give me little smirks and grins. _Evil._ _Payback is a bitch lil sis._ When she saw my reactions those grins got bigger.

Bella turned back every now and then. She caught the silent conversations and looks between me and Alice. A couple times I looked at her and her eyes would lock with mine. Before she looked away, I saw her blush tint her cheeks.

Class was dismissed and we decided to go grab something to eat before our next classes started. Lunch was uneventful. _Thank God for that._

It was almost time for Alice's class to start, so we walked with her. When we made it to her room, I thought now would be a good time to mention Jasper coming to pick her up.

"Hey…just so you know…Jasper is coming to pick you up from class when it is over, so stay here and wait for him," I said firmly, but with a hint of amusement.

I watched as the color drained quickly from her face. _God, just like Jasper._ "Ja..Jasper is coming to get me from class?" I heard Bella chuckle.

"Yeah, no one is going to walk anywhere by themselves," I said determinedly. "Rosie's in class. Bella's and my class gets out too late to come get you and Em will be on his way to class. Sorry sis, but Jasper is the only one available."

Alice sighed, loudly. It was more like a shaky breath. "F..fine," she said, defeated.

"It'll be alright, Alice. It's not the end of the world here," I said jokingly.

"Says you," she whispered. And with that she turned and walked into her classroom.

I turned to look at Bella. "Well that went better than I anticipated."

She laughed. "She's going to get her revenge. Just wait," she said as she started to walk away.

I snorted.

We made it to our second class, again nothing special. We sat next to one another this time. We barely looked at each other during class, although I would sneak a peek every now and then. I felt that pull I have around her intensified. I didn't know why. One time I looked over at her and she turned to look at me. I saw some emotion flash in her eyes for a second and then it was gone. _What was that? _She turned back to the professor. _What the hell?_ For some reason, it hurt when she looked away. _God, what is she doing to me?_

Just like that, class was dismissed. I honestly didn't pay attention to anything the professor had said. This _thing_ with Bella had my mind working overtime. I grabbed my things and stuffed them into my bag. I slowly got out of my seat and started to walk toward the door. Once we were outside the class she looked up at me. Bella must have noticed I was in another world because she lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the side of the hallway.

"Are you okay, Edward?"

I looked down at her hand and she immediately pulled it away. I missed her touch instantly. _I'm so screwed…no fucked._

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, just thinking about things, but I'm good." I tried to smile.

She pursed her lips. "I'm not buying it, Edward."

For some reason and I couldn't figure out where the need came from, I wanted to touch her. I _needed_ to touch her. I lifted my hand and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. She gasped. I slowly brought my hand down letting my thumb brush along her cheek. My hand lingered, cupping her cheek this time. What surprised me was that Bella leaned into my hand, closing her eyes she sighed. _My stomach fluttered in response. You need to stop Cullen. You're going to get hurt._ But I couldn't find the will in me to stop touching her.

"Bella," I breathed.

Her eyes snapped open…shock quickly replaced the calm and she took a step back. My hand ached at the loss of her touch. She couldn't even look at me and her face turned bright crimson. _What just happened?_

"We need to go, Edward," she said quickly, trying to walk away.

I grabbed her arm. "Bella, wait…"

"No…we need to go," she said detachedly. She still wouldn't look at me.

"No...look at me, please," I pleaded. She shook her head. "Why?"

"I'm embarrassed…I shouldn't have done that…I can't believe I did that…what was I thinking…" She was rambling.

"Bella, please look at me, _you_ did nothing wrong…_I_ shouldn't have done that." Her head snapped up and I saw a flicker of hurt, pain in her eyes and then the look of rejection washed over her face. _Oh damn…what did I do? Did I reject her? No…_ I tried to backpedal. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry…"

"It's fine…let's just go, please…" She sounded dejected. _I have to fix this somehow, but how?_

I stepped closer to her and she put her hand up to stop me. "Wait, please don't think that this is anything against you…it isn't, it's all me." I was begging for her to believe me.

"I get it, Edward…can we _please_ drop this?" She looked away from me. "I shouldn't have…"

I cut her off. "NO, I _wanted_ to touch you. Every time I'm around you I feel this pull. I can't explain it, but I had this _need_ to touch you. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want you…to touch you."

She looked up at me with a surprised look. "Edward…"

I moved closer to her. This time she didn't stop me. I gently caressed her cheek with my right hand, that burn slowly running through my hand. I heard her breath hitch. _I know she feels it too. _"Can you feel that?" I breathed. She nodded. I brought my forehead down to rest on hers. I felt her breath quicken as it washed over my face. My heart beat sped up. _What is she doing to me? _"Bella," I whispered.

"Edward, please don't…" she whimpered.

I pulled back suddenly. "I'm sorry."

She took a couple steps back and took in a ragged breath. "Don't be sorry. I don't want you doing something that you will regret." _Why would she think that? _"There is too much going on right now and I don't want to be a _distraction_. That's not fair to you or me. You still have issues with concerning your ex and this stuff with James."

I couldn't believe my ears. "Why do you think that you would be a distraction?" I asked.

"I don't want to play the rebound girl, Edward. I even told your sister that when she mentioned setting us up," she said angrily. _When did this happen?_

"Fine, I don't have the strength to argue. I want to apologize again, I didn't mean upset you," I said in defeat. _Ha, she has more sense than you do Cullen. You couldn't stop yourself and now look what you did. She saved your ass from embarrassment. _Fuck this. I would prove to her that she wouldn't be a distraction or some rebound girl. _I'll show her. _What the hell was I thinking? Bella was right. There **was** too much going on right now. But I would not give up on her. My body agreed but my mind was ready to protest and my heart was deadlocked. I needed to give all three of them time to get on the same page.

"It's alright…let's just put this behind us and move on," she said determinedly. 

I motioned for her to start walking and we left the Communications building heading towards the commons. There was an uncomfortable silence lingering between us and it fucking sucked. _Look what you did. She's not going to want you even if the situation with James didn't exist. You're too damaged. Give it up. _I felt the growl build up in my chest.

Bella must have heard. She looked over at me as we continued walking. She had a concerned look on her face, but she didn't say anything.

The rest of the day finished like that. Bella and I avoided the topic of what happened in the hallway earlier. The uncomfortable silence continued. We ended up back at her dorm room. After about twenty minutes of sitting in silence staring off into space, I suggested that we go get some early dinner. She agreed but hesitantly.

I knew that Alice had her English lab later, Em would be finished with his class soon, Jasper has his next class shortly, but I wasn't sure what was up with Rosalie. So, I texted Em to see if he wanted to meet up with Bella and I after his class, hopefully he could help ease the tension between the two of us. This was killing. He said he would meet up with us soon; his professor was going to let them out shortly. _Thank God_.

We ended up going to the dining hall and we talked about our classes while we walked. At least there was no more silence, though she still seemed uneasy around me. I didn't want it to be like that.

Bella looked over to the door, seeming a bit distracted, but her face lit up almost instantly. I was kind of taken aback by that and turned around to see who she was looking at; Emmett. He had this cocky grin on his face as he walked over to our table. _Prick._

He walked around and stopped at the chair next to Bella. "Hey lil one, how's it going?" he asked in a light tone.

She smiled. "So far so good. How was class?"

"Eh…it's class. Chemistry totally bites ass," he said, annoyed.

She snorted. "Um, yeah…I'm glad I don't have to take that. Biology is enough for me."

Em looked over to me. "How you doing, bro?"

I shrugged. "It's going. Everything with Alice went okay?"

He laughed. "Yeah. I don't think they are going to forgive us anytime soon, but yeah."

Bella chuckled. "She'll get over it. She has it bad for him. I just met her and I can see that! She just needs to get over herself."

Emmett and I busted out laughing.

"We've been dealing with this for the past couple of years little one. They are so stubborn. It's disgusting," Emmett said sarcastically.

"They refuse to do anything about it, no matter how many times they are thrown together," I said, still laughing. "I'm dying to talk to Jasper. I want to know how it went."

Emmett snorted. "Knowing them, they walked in complete silence with blushes covering their entire bodies or in Jasper's case; he was probably paler than a ghost."

Bella laughed. "She probably could give me a run for my money in the blush department when it comes to Jasper."

"I wouldn't bet against that," Emmett said. "Hey, I'm going to run and grab something to eat. I'll be back in a few." He dropped his bag in the seat and headed off to the line.

I looked at Bella and she had her head down. "Bella," I said softly.

She looked up. Her eyes still glistened from the laughter. "Yeah?"

"Are _we_ okay?" I asked cautiously.

She nodded. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

I shrugged. "I just want to make sure. I hope I didn't do anything to push you away from me."

She swallowed, hard. "No…everything is fine. Let's just make sure it doesn't happen again," she said firmly.

I nodded slowly. "Okay, thank you. I don't want to mess up anything. I can't lose having your support and friendship. It means a lot to me. You have no idea."

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You won't lose me…I wouldn't do that to you. I would hate for you to go through that alone."

I reached out to grasp her hand. She didn't pull away, but I saw the apprehension in her eyes. "Thank you so much!"

Emmett made it back to the table and he looked at Bella's hand in mine. He looked over to me, fuckin' prick was smirking. She removed her hand from mine as he sat down. _God, that kills me each time._ _Suck it up man._

We continued through the rest of dinner talking and just having a nice time. No cares about James seeped in. It was truly nice.

A couple hours later, Emmett and I walked Bella back to her dorm room. Alice's class wouldn't be over for little while, so we spent the time keeping her company. We discussed who was going to be with who tomorrow and Friday. Since Bella knew everything it made planning it all out easier. When Alice came back to the room, Em and I took our leave for the night.

Before I left the room, I turned back to look at Bella. She was focused on Alice and didn't notice that I had stopped. She and Alice were talking about what happened today. When she started asking Alice about what happened with Jasper, I left and closed the door. I didn't want to be there for that. Alice would have had my ass.

Jasper was already there when I walked through our door. I wished I knew what was going on in his mind, because he looked like he wanted to kill me. I shook my head and laughed. I guess it didn't go well with Alice. _Or it did, who knows._

I put my things on my desk and went into the bathroom without even saying hi to Jasper.

**~*Twilightgirl224**

**A/N: Okay, thoughts, comments, disagreements…let me have it. The next chapter will be a continuation of this one. I'm going to bypass BPOV this time. The talk with his entire family and circle of friends will be in the next chapter and some additional surprises. Please, leave me some love…you know I love to hear from you guys!**


	18. Author's Note

_**A/N:**_

_**I wanted to drop a line and let you guys know I didn't forget about you. I'm sorry for the long delay in updating. Two reasons why. One…I am working with Project Team Beta on my story – trying to get all my chapters Beta'd and in order. I am trying to get in all up to date with this site and . Second reason…well , I am stuck on how to proceed with the next chapter. I am only 4 pages into it and I know what I want to say and do, but I am having a hard time putting it into words. Please bear with me and I will have an update for you guys soon. I don't want to lose my loyal readers. I can tell you this though, the next chapter is Edward's talk with his entire family and friends and their response. Also, we will delve a little bit more into Edward's "fascination" with Bella. Also, in a few chapters in the future I will be bringing our 'favorite' character (sarcasm) back. Please don't give up on me…have patience. I will try and get you the update shortly.**_


	19. Chapter 15  Facing the Music  Part II

A/N – First of all, let me apologize for the long delay in updates. I mentioned in my last notes that I was trying to get my story on Twilighted, but was having issues. Well, I finally have been assigned two Betas, who are going to help me edit and re-vamp my previous chapters (YEAH!) *Doing the Roger Rabbit dance in excitement* I know, I'm a dork. Anywho, now that this is done I can actually focus on updating chapters sooner. *Fist Pump* Again, I am sorry for all this confusion and delays, but I hope I didn't lose many of my loyal followers. Forgive me? *Lip quivering* Please? Okay, enough of the dramatics; on to the chapter at hand. Secondly, I would like to mention that this is an all new record in writing for me. This chapter is 39 pages long and 18,825 words long, WHOA! So, grab a snack and a drink, maybe even a snuggie if you want. It's going to be a long ride.

C/N – Okay…this is a continuation of Edward's POV from the previous chapter. This chapter takes the group through the rest of the week and into the weekend when everyone goes home. This is where Edward finally 'confesses' what happened with James during spring break, with Bella by his side.

*****WARNING*** This will mention rape, but it will not give any details of the event, only Edward's account of the aftermath. If you find this topic offensive, please don't continue reading. You've been given fair warning. ***WARNING*****

Edward takes Bella to a special place of his later on. Slight fluff towards then end. Enjoy! ;)

Chapter 15 – Part 2

EPOV (Cont)

I walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I backed up and leaned my head back against the door. I took a deep breath in and sighed; glad this day was almost over. I couldn't wait till I was able to go home for the weekend, even if it was to spill my guts out to my family and friends. I went over to the mirror and took a long, hard look. _Was I ready to tell them __**everything**__? Yes, I had to_. I _had_ to keep everyone safe this time.

I decided to take a hot shower; I needed to relax and think about how I was going to go about telling everyone. I got undressed and stepped into the shower placing my hands on the wall with my head down; allowing the water to beat down on my shoulders, easing the tension slightly.

Thank God there were no drama issues today, sort of. I thought about what I almost did with Bella made the tension creep back into my shoulders. Stupid was the one word that came to mind immediately. What was I thinking? How could I do that to her….to me? She was right though. There was too much going on that we..._I…_ didn't need to add to the stress by making a move on her. But I knew she felt it too. I felt and heard how her body reacted to my touch. There was something there damn it. My hands clenched into fists against the wall as I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory.

_I remember the gasp she made as I swept her hair behind her ear. The way she leaned into my hand and sighed as I cupped her cheek. The moment her breath stopped when I got closer to her. She acknowledged the way our skin burned where we were touching. The way her breath sped up the closer I got to her…my heart was beating erratically; almost to the point of pounding out of my chest._

What was she doing to me? *groan* My body was in overdrive and there was _**no way**_ I was going to take care of _that_ with Jasper right outside the bathroom. So I quickly turned off the hot water. _Fuck me…._

After about five of standing under the freezing cold water, my body settled down enough for me to get of the shower. I grumbled as I dried myself off and got dressed. I was mad at myself for letting her get to me like that. I swore off women….they were nothing but trouble, and boy was I in some trouble.

She was different somehow but I wasn't sure how. I can't let myself dwell on it right now. I had to face Jasper the moment I walked out the door. I knew he was ready to kill me. But hey, it was his own damn fault for being stubborn. _Look at the pot calling the kettle black - _my inner voice sneered at me. _Shut the fuck up! _I yelled back. I didn't have time for this. I took a deep breath before I opened the door.

I walked out into the room and headed towards my desk; not even looking over at Jasper. I felt his eyes burning a hole into my head; probably throwing a few daggers into said hole too. I bit back a snicker as I started unpacking my bag and getting it ready for tomorrow. I heard a deep growl come from behind me. Uh huh…he was pissed.

"So are you totally going to ignore me, Edward?" he asked sarcastically.

I didn't turn around. I knew he was pissed but I didn't want him to see the smile that was fighting to break through.

"I'm not ignoring you, Jasper. I'm just getting things ready for tomorrow. Oh, I hope you don't mind but we kinda need you to pick Alice up again tomorrow from her Calculus class and Rosalie from her Auto Shop class," I said nonchalantly.

I heard him groan. "Why are you doing this to me?"

I turned to look at him, feigning surprise. "What do you mean, what am I doing to you?" I already knew the answer to it, but I just wanted to hear him say it.

He narrowed his eyes at me and I arched a brow in challenge. "You fucker, you know what I'm talking about. What is this shit having to pick up Alice and now, Rosalie?"

I rolled my eyes. "I can't get into this right now…but believe me, it's for their safety."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What do you mean their _safety_?"

"Look, I'm going to go over **all** of this on Saturday when we head back to Forks. You are going to be there, right?" He nodded. "Good, because it would make it a whole lot easier if I can say it all at once to everyone. I'm sorry that I can't say more, but please just help with this and after Saturday you'll know the reason why." He gave me a curious look. "What?" I almost gasped out.

"Does this have _anything_ to do with James, Edward?" Damn him. I nodded slowly. "Fine, I will handle this…but I am still going to kick your ass for pulling this shit with Alice and me." I felt a smirk begin to form. "Don't even go there, Cullen. Your ass is mine," he growled.

"Oh come on, Jazz. Why are you making this so difficult? You and Alice have feelings for one another and you both keep fighting it."

"Ha…you are seriously one to talk," he sneered. I went to open my mouth in protest but he stopped me. "Are you going to stand there and tell me that you don't _feel _something for Miss Bella?" With that I threw my bag down on my desk and walked over to the kitchenette and pulled out a bottle of water from the little fridge. "Cat got your tongue buddy?" I flicked him off without turning to look at him. He busted out laughing. "Figures…don't go giving me advice on my non-existent love life when you can't even man up and say it yourself."

I turned to look at him with anger…well not much anger…crossed my arms and stared him down. After about a minute of glaring at him I decided to share a little tid-bit of what happened today. "Well…first off, I don't know **what** I feel for Bella. Number two, at least I _make_ the attempt at showing said person something of what I am feeling. Which is more than I can say about you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked. I got his interest piqued.

"Well, let's just say that she knows I _feel_ something for her," I said casually.

He eyed me, watching for some other reaction. "There's more isn't there?" he asked.

I hesitated. I didn't want to hurt Bella. She said to forget what happened and that it wouldn't happen again. I had to admit that it kinda hurt a little when she said that. It wasn't like I had planned on trying to kiss her. It was spontaneous…out of the blue…a need, desire. Fuck…why did I need her so much? I barely heard Jasper call my name. I finally focused on him.

"Edward…what did you do?"

"Nothing…nothing," I said, trying to play it cool. But failing miserably.

"Um yeah…not buying it man…What the hell happened?"

"Itriedtokissher," I mumbled quickly.

"Say what?" he choked.

"I. Tried. To. Kiss. Her….happy now?" Fucking prick. He definitely knew how to push my buttons. He was a still as a statue for a moment and then he busted out laughing. "Seriously, what the hell, Jazz."

He tried to compose himself. "It just took me by surprise that's all." I heard him fight back a couple snickers.

"Yeah, well…at least I _tried_ something…you can't even do **that** much," I said boldly. He went dead silent. "Now…I'm tired and I'm going to bed," I said as I walked over to my bed.

"Edward, I didn't mean to laugh. Honestly. Like I said, it took me by surprise. You were so hell bent on staying away from women that I didn't expect you to come out and say that," he said with a touch of remorse. "As far as Alice is concerned…I'm scared…I admit that…I told you that before. I don't know which way is up when I'm around her and, damn it…it shouldn't be this hard."

"Look, Jazz, I'm the last person to be giving advice. My outlook on love it pretty much a haze and it isn't going to get any better soon." He started to say something but I cut him off. "You will never know what could be possible the best thing that could ever happen to you unless you try."

He nodded, but I saw the curiosity bubbling to the surface. _Oh God, help me._ "What happened after your little attempt with Bella?" _Yep, dig me a hole so I could fall in right now._

"Um…well…" I ran my hand nervously through my hair. "At first she seemed okay with it…but something in her snapped and she pretty much put me in my place. She told me that I still had the shit with James and Tanya looming over my head, which she was right about…" I trailed off.

He nodded. "And what else?" Damn...he was quite curious person tonight.

"Well at first I think she may have thought I was rejecting her when I told her I shouldn't have done that…and this was _before_ I tried to kiss her. All I did was touch her gently and she…never mind…I shouldn't be even talking about this...she would probably kick my ass if she found out that I told you," I snorted nervously.

"Edward, like I would even say anything to her. It's not my place. But let me say this….if you hurt her in _any _way…I will kick you ever livin' ass from here to the devil's doorstep," he said assuredly.

I groaned. "What is it with you and Emmett? You guys have become _so_ protective of her and you barely know her."

"So what, man…she's a part of our little circle. We don't want to see her hurt. So, saying that…if you do still have some shit lingering because of Tanya, and I don't mean to be harsh because I love you like a brother; leave Bella alone, seriously."

I knew what he was saying. I understood where he was coming from. I knew I still had some problems that I needed to deal with regarding my lovely, cheating, back-stabbing bitch of an ex-girlfriend. I was dealing with it, kind of, maybe. Hell, who was I kidding…I was foaming at the mouth angry by what she did, but I needed to move on. It was time…

"I hear ya…believe me…I don't want to hurt her any more than you guys do."

I saw Jasper nod before he got up and walked to the bathroom. I pulled the sheets back on my bed and climbed in. Okay, another day down…two more to go.

Jasper came out a few minutes later and climbed into his bed.

"What time does Alice and Rosalie's classes get over?" he asked casually.

"Nine-thirty for Alice and ten-fifty for Rosie. Bella is supposed to tell Alice to wait for you and Em is saying the same thing to Rose."

He sighed, "Okay...nite, Edward."

"Nite, Jazz," I said with a yawn and shortly after I fell into a restless sleep.

**~*MoTH*~**

I woke up panting and sweating like crazy before my alarm clock went off. I looked over at Jasper and he was still out. _Thank God._ I glanced at the clock, six thirty-eight. _Damn. What the hell am I gonna do now? _I didn't have to get Alice for another hour.

I quietly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I went over to the sink and turned on the cold water. I cupped water in my hands and splashed my face with it. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, rubbing my face and neck. I wished I could escape the shit going through my head right now but I didn't know how. I thought I was getting better about everything that happened with Tanya, but for some reason my mind doesn't want to let go. _Why? What can I do to make this all stop?_

I sighed and decided to take a shower. I stripped and stepped into the stall. I let the water wash over me and hopefully letting the past go down the drain with it.

After a long while, not how long, I got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked into the other room. I grasped my phone and checked the time. It was almost time to get Alice. I sent her a text to make sure she was going to be ready when I get there. I dropped the phone down on my bed and walked over to the closet. I pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out and got dressed. I heard my phone chime and I walked over and picked it up.

_**I will be ready when you get here. – Alice**_

Good. I responded back to her.

_**Good, I'll see you shortly. – Edward**_

I put my Chucks on and put my phone in my back pocket. I glanced over at Jasper, still out. I opened the door quietly and left to go get my sister.

It took all of six minutes to get to her dorm room. I knocked lightly just in case Bella was still sleeping. After a few moments the door opened slowly. I felt my eyes widen in surprise. I was staring at a very sleepy Bella in a tank top and boy shorts. My eyes roamed up and down her body, slowly. When they made them back to her face, she had a small smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

She snorted. "Good morning, Edward."

I ran my hand through my hair down to my neck. She fucking caught me ogling her. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks.

I cleared my throat, "Morning, Bella. I'm here to pick up Alice. Is she ready?"

She opened the door more and motioned me into the room. "Yeah, almost."

I walked into the room and stood next to the door, watching as Bella made her way back to her bed.

"Alice, Edward is here," she called into the bathroom.

"I'll be out there in a minute, Edward," Alice yelled from the other side of the door.

I chuckled and Bella looked over to me.

I shrugged. "She's never ready when she needs to be." I heard her snort. "What?"

"Nothing..." she trailed off, lost in thought possibly. After a few seconds she looked up at me. "So…you're coming back later to get me?" I nodded. "Are you sure you _have_ to do this?"

I felt my jaw tense at her question. Did she think this was a joke? She knew my history with James. Is this girl a glutton for punishment?

"Bella…" I began and she cut me off. "Okay…that was a stupid question…I know. It's just, I don't know…I've never had to have a 'protective detail' before," she said with a slight smile.

"Look, I'm sorry that you have been put in this predicament," I said and I saw her smile slowly morph into a frown. "I wish that this never happened and I didn't have to worry that James would do something to any of you."

She got up from her bed and slowly made her way over to me. I shifted my gaze down to look at the floor; I didn't want to see the looks of anger in her eyes.

I was surprised to feel her hands grab both sided of my face and lift my head until I was looking into her eyes. There was no anger, hatred or even disgust. There was only concern, worry and something I couldn't quite make out.

"Edward…_you_ have nothing to apologize for. This is about James. He is the reason for all of this. So please stop beating yourself up for something you could not and cannot control," she said soothingly.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, Bella was still looking at me, but this time the smirk was back. I felt a smile wanting to break through and I guess it did because her smile got a little bigger; her eyes had a little sparkle in them. I couldn't stop staring into her eyes. I could honestly say I could get lost in those dark, chocolate orbs.

I didn't know how long we stood there looking into each other's eyes. But it took the sound of Alice clearing her throat for us to break the little bubble we were in. Bella dropped her hands, took a step back and looked over to Alice. I missed her touch immediately.

I fought the growl that was trying to erupt from my body back. _Perfect timing Alice._

I scowled when I looked over at my evil little sister. "It's about time, Alice. I thought you said you would be ready when I got here," I said sarcastically. She was smiling…no, she was beaming with excitement. Didn't she hear what I just said? Why the hell was she looking at me like that?

She chuckled and then walked over to her desk, grabbing her bags and walk over to me. "You ready to go brother?" Her grin still plastered on her face. _Oh, no._

I rolled my eyes and looked over to Bella. "I'll be back for you in thirty." She nodded. I turned to open the door and walked out with Alice following behind me.

As soon as we heard the door closed, Alice started snickering. I looked at her like she had lost her damn mind.

"What is with you?" I asked.

She continued to laugh softly. "You have got it so bad."

I scoffed. "What the hell are you talking about?" She stopped for a second, looked at me then shook her head and started walking again. "What?" I growled.

"If you can't see it, then I'm not going to tell you," she said cryptically. I hated when she did shit like that.

"See what, Alice?"

She sighed, "Are you really that obtuse, Edward?"

I was starting to get pissed. It was too damn early in the morning for her games. "Alice…" I started.

"No," she said quickly. "Are you really going to stand there and tell me that you don't have a thing for Bella?" _Where the hell did this come from?_

"What the fuck, Alice? What kind of question is _that_?" I asked defensively.

"I saw the way you two were looking at each other when I walked out of the bathroom just a little bit ago. You _both_ were completely lost in each other," she said knowingly. _Well if she didn't hit that right on the mark._

I shrugged. "Nothing will come from it. It can't happen," I said in a defeated tone.

"And why the hell not?" she screeched and I cringed away from her.

"Because, Alice….just because," I sighed.

"You are a fucking moron, you know that, big brother?" she said spitefully. She must really be pissed off because she rarely swore.

"Alice, now is not the time. Please…there is just too much going on right now with James and my shit with Tanya is still lingering over my head."

"You need to grow the fuck up and move on. That bitch isn't worth all your time. You **are** better than her," she growled. "I know she hurt you and messed you up, but there is so much more to the world out there and it doesn't include Tanya. Please, you really need to move on and find someone that will love you with their entire heart," she said lovingly. All I could do was nod. I knew what she was saying was right. I knew it my heart, but my fucking mind wasn't accepting it yet. Only time would tell.

The rest of our walk to her class was in silence and I felt her look up at me every now and then, but I didn't…couldn't look at her. I walked her to the door of her class and she was about to walk through when she stopped suddenly, turned around and launched herself into me. I was surprised by what she did; I didn't know what to do.

Her grip tightened for a bit and I heard her whisper softly in my ear, "I love you, Edward." She let go, turned and walked into her class.

I whispered back, "I love you too, little sis." But she didn't hear me. I turned and walked back to the dorms.

**~*MoTH*~**

When I got back to my room I plopped down on my bed. What an interesting start to the day. Alice obviously had a lot to say and I honestly had taken it to heart, but she really didn't know what was going on in my mind.

I must have spaced out because when I glanced at my phone to check the time it had been almost an hour since I had gotten back from dropping Alice off. _What the hell? You need to get your shit together, Cullen, and fast!_

I got up, grabbed my bag and headed out the door to get Bella. This time when she opened the door she was fully awake and dressed for class. I was actually a little disappointed. The image of Bella wearing next to nothing popped in my head and I groaned. Bella must have heard me because she looked at me with confusion. I just shook my head and waited for her to get her stuff and come out.

While we were on our way to class, we talked. We stayed away from the topic of James and the whole screwed up situation. She never brought up what happened this morning, which I was a little taken aback by. She seemed to shy away from the topic of us. _Us? There isn't an us. What the hell?_

Class was over before I even noticed it began. I did catch the professor mention that class would officially begin next Tues and lab was cancelled tonight. Bella and I looked over at each other. _Nice. _She smiled.

We left the science building and headed back to the dorms. We decided to get everyone together for lunch so we could talk about the 'protective detail', as Bella liked to call it, for the rest of the day and tomorrow

Since Rosalie and Jasper's classes didn't finish until noon, Bella, Alice, Em and I waited out in the social area of the dorms for their classes to be done. Since Jasper dropped off Rosalie, he was the one who was going to pick her up and bring her back to the dorms to meet us. We talked about this weekend. Well it was more like Alice talked to Bella about this weekend while Em and I sat back and watched. As Alice described in great detail what their outing would consist of, I watched as the looks of amazement and horror etch across Bella's face. I looked over at Em and he was fighting back the laughter. I was too…Alice was a force of nature all her own.

Alice and Bella were still wrapped up in their conversation when Jasper and Rosalie arrived. Alice was in the middle of explaining in grave details about the upcoming visit to the spa when she caught sight of Jasper and stopped in mid-syllable. Bella turned to see what Alice was looking at. When she saw Jasper she smiled and of course Alice was her usual ten shades of red. I turned to look at Jasper and I was surprised to see the smirk that was present.

He was looking at Alice and she was looking at him. I kept looking back and forth like I was at tennis tournament. What was I missing? I knew he had picked her up from class earlier. What the hell happened?

I looked over at Emmett and he had a slight grin playing at his lips. _Okay…time to move on!_

I cleared my throat as I stood up. "Glad you two could finally make it," I said with a chuckle.

"Screw you, Eddie…you know we just got out of class you prick," Rosalie said contemptuously.

I held my hands up in mock surrender. "I know, Rose…I was just joking." Emmett snorted and I flipped him off. "Are we all ready to go get lunch?" I asked as I looked around at everyone. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Fine, let's head to the dining hall…we have things to discuss."

Lunch went pretty smoothly. Everyone agreed on who was picking up who and so forth. The girls talked about this weekend and us guys talked about school and the upcoming weekend. They stayed away from the topic I knew they were most interested in; which I was entirely thankful for. Every time I thought about what I was going to do this weekend, it seemed my body wanted to go into a mini panic attack. I always seemed to keep it from getting out of hand. Thank God.

I sat there watching Bella interact with Alice and Rosalie. She seemed to be at ease, fitting in with our little group. It felt different…nice...having her here. So different than when Tanya was around us all. It felt better. _I_ felt different…WOW. I never thought I would ever _feel_ anything for another girl. I was dead set against having someone in my life again…and I was okay with that. Now…my emotions were warring with each other. Hatred, anger, fear, distrust, confusion was battling it out with caring, compassion, loyalty, honesty…and…_No, I can't think __**that**__ right now._ I wasn't there yet. At least that was what my mind kept screaming at me. Too soon…too soon!

"Edward?" I barely heard Alice say my name. I shook my head and tossed those thoughts to the back of my mind and looked up at my sister. She had a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, pix…what's up?" I asked nonchalantly. I saw Bella and Rosalie look over in my direction.

"You okay?" Alice asked. I nodded. "You sure?"

Bella was staring at me with worry etched on her face. "Of course I am, Alice. I was just sitting here thinking about this weekend…that's all," I said as I looked directly at Alice.

"Okay…" she said doubtfully.

I sighed. "I have _a lot_ on my mind, Alice…please give me a little slack here…it will get better soon. I promise." She gave me a small smile. I loved that she worried about me, but sometimes she drove me nuts.

Lunch was finally over and everyone went to their corresponding classrooms or dorm rooms. I hated leaving Bella…every time I was near her that pulling and tugging sensation intensified. _I am so screwed._

**~*MoTH*~**

The rest of Thursday and Friday went off without a hitch. No James drama, but I still worried about what he could be planning. When everyone was done with classes we loaded up the cars and headed home. Home. I was looking forward to it but at the same time I was petrified with fear on how everyone was going to react to what I had to say, especially my parents.

The drive wasn't too bad. Em and Rose drove together. Alice and Bella were in Alice's car and Jasper and I took my car. Somehow Jasper kept me calm for most of the drive, but the closer I got to my parents' house, I felt my heart jump in my throat and it felt like it was about to break through.

The moment I pulled into the driveway I stopped breathing and my heart took off in a sprint. _What the fuck am I doing? I don't think this is a good idea. They are going to hate me. They will be so disappointed. I need to go…run…_

I was ready to bolt out of my car and head for the next state. I was so lost in my fear that I didn't even realize that my car door had opened. I heard a voice trying to get my attention but I couldn't make out anything that was saying. After sometime, not sure how much…could have been minutes, hours…I didn't know…I felt a hand touch my right cheek. I knew who it was immediately. The shock of electricity was instant, the slow burn from her touch moved through my face and down my neck. Her hand pulled my face so it would move in her direction. I didn't fight it; I couldn't even if I wanted to. When my face was in her general direction, she clasped my face in between both of her hands and pulled it down slightly. Then did I realize she was crouched down in a squatting position wedged between the door and my seat. I was finally able to focus on her face. Worry and concern were the predominant emotions in her eyes but I could see the compassion and understanding working their way through too.

"There you are," she said softly.

I couldn't find my voice. It was still locked away in fear. But I hoped my eyes would convey how much I was thankful she was here.

"I know you are scared, Edward, but everything will be okay," she said with confidence. I wished I had her confidence because I was going to need any I could find. I gave her a small smile. _I'm so thankful that she's here. I don't know if I would be able to do this if she wasn't. For whatever reason, she is giving me the strength and support I need to see this through…I don't know why, she doesn't owe me anything…I have brought nothing but trouble to her doorstep. _

"Stop that," Bella said forcefully. I looked at her with confusion. "I can see it in your eyes…you need to stop doubting yourself." _How? No…not possible._

"Bella…"I croaked.

She shook her head. "Nope…I don't want to hear it. We'll get through this. I guarantee it. I'm here for _you_. I _want_ to be here, to help you. So, get your ass out of this car and walk in that house to greet your parents. They've been waiting for you," she said with a smirk. She stood up and released my face, stepping away from the car. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what lay ahead and got out the car.

I took a step away from the car and closed the door. I looked over at Bella and she had a smile that graced her lips. I smiled back and then looked over to the house; I saw my parents staring out of the window, waiting for me to come in. I looked closely at my mother and I could tell that she was concerned. God, why did I have to do this? I took another deep breath and readied myself to face my parents.

I felt a spark jolt my body and heat in the middle of my palm. I looked down and noticed Bella's hand was clasping my own. My eyes jumped to hers and she looked a little hesitant but I squeezed her hand tightly in mine in reassurance. As we started to walk towards the house she started to release my hand but I didn't want to lose that contact. I stopped short and looked down at her. Her eyes widened a little in surprise and I shook my head in response, tightening my hold on her hand. She nodded slightly and continued walking to the house. I looked up to where my parents were standing before and saw only my mother there this time; she had a big smile plastered on her face. I snorted internally. I bet she thought Bella and I were together. _Would that be a bad thing?_ Where the hell did that question come from?

As we got closer, my mother opened the door for us. Her smile grew wider as she looked between Bella and me. We walked in and my mother immediately embraced me in a tight hug. I put my arms around her and she tightened her hold. "Hi, honey. I'm so glad you're home," she said.

I took a step back to look at her and I noticed her eyes were glassy from unsheded tears. "Hi, Mom. It's good to be home." I looked over at Bella; she was looking at us, smiling. "Mom, this is Bella. Bella, this is my mother, Esme."

"It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Cullen," Bella said. _When did she meet my mother?_

My mom stepped over to Bella and gave her a hug. "It's good to see you too, Bella, and it's Esme. Mrs. Cullen is my mother-in-law," she said, chuckling. I was staring at them with confusion and it must have shown because my mom spoke up. "Edward, I met Bella when we dropped your sister off at school last week. Alice took to her immediately," she said laughing.

Bella snorted in agreement. "That's saying it mildly." I laughed.

"Come on in you two and make yourself at home, Bella," mom said, motioning towards the living area. "Edward or Alice can show you to your room later if you'd like. I know you all probably want to relax from the long drive." Bella and I nodded in agreement. "The others are in the den with your father. Why don't you two go in and join them."

"Okay, Mom…aren't you coming too?" I asked.

"I'll be in there shortly; I just want to grab some drinks for everyone," she said.

I nodded and turned, escorting Bella into the den where the rest of my family sat chatting with each other. My father was the first one to look up as we entered.

"Hello there, son. How are you doing?" he asked, smiling.

"I'm good, Dad," I said. I pointed to Bella and asked, "Have you met Bella, Dad?"

"Yeah I did when we dropped your sister off at the dorms." He looked at Bella. "How are you doing, hun?"

"I'm good, Mr. Cullen." He looked at her, smirking. She chuckled, "Carlisle…I know."

"Have a seat you two and relax," dad said, motioning to the love seat. Bella walked over and sat down. I hesitated for a moment and she looked up at me, frowning.

"Sit down, Edward," she whispered. I heard the others chuckling softly and I groaned.

I sat down next to Bella and everyone started chatting again. I heard Alice's voice break through the loud chatter. "Are you girls ready for tomorrow?" she asked looking between Rosalie and Bella.

"I'm so ready…I've been looking forward to it all week," Rosalie said tiredly.

"What all are we doing tomorrow?" Bella asked quietly.

"Well, to start off, we are going to a spa in Port Angeles. We are going to get a full body treatment, and then we are going to go shopping at some of the stores there," Alice squealed with excitement. I had to keep myself from doubling over in laughter. Alice and shopping went hand in hand. She could never go a weekend without buying some new hot, trendy outfit.

I looked over at Bella and I saw the color drain from her face. I leaned over and asked, "Are you okay?" She shook her head slightly. "What's wrong?"

She turned her head to look at me. "Is she serious? She mentioned the spa earlier but nothing about going shopping," she hissed.

"Um…yeah, Alice is all about shopping," I said, trying to keep the amusement out of my voice.

She pursed her lips and glowered at me. I guess I didn't do that good of a job. "I don't think it's funny, Edward," she hissed.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Alice asked.

She turned to look at Alice. "Um … I don't know … I'm not really a _shopping_ kind of person," she said timidly.

Alice jumped out of her seat. "You _have_ got to be kidding, right?" Alice looked like she was about to have a seizure. I snorted and Alice shot a nasty look at me. "What, Edward?"

I shrugged. "Nothing, Alice." _Hell no…I wasn't going to get in the middle of her little tantrum. _I looked over at dad and he was shaking his head, completely at a loss for words.

Alice looked back over to Bella, who had seemed to have sunken into the love seat trying to escape the wrath of Alice. "Bella," she said calmly, seeing the apprehension in Bella's face. "What is it about shopping that you don't seem to like?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders in response. "A few things…"

When she didn't go any further I noticed Alice's jaw twitching. I seriously had to bite back the laughter. I heard Emmett chuckle. Jasper was just watching the whole fiasco play out. Thank god mom had stepped back out of the room, because I'm pretty sure she would have had something to say to her 'little' girl.

I decided to speak up before she decided to lay into Bella. "Alice, leave Bella alone…it has been a long day and we need chill. You can talk her into it tomorrow after we all get some rest," I said with a little bit of force. Alice crossed her arms over her chest in protest. "Alice," I growled.

"Fine…" she huffed. I thought I even saw her stomp her foot. _What the hell?_ She looked at Bella. "We _will_ talk tomorrow…I'm not giving up on you," she said waving her finger in Bella's direction. Bella sat there wide eyed and nodded in compliance. Poor girl, I felt sorry for her.

I stood and looked around. "I think I'm going to head to bed," I said. I looked down at Bella. "You want me to show you where you're going to be sleeping?" She slowly raised her head to look at me; probably still in shock over what just happened and nodded. "Well, come on then."

She got up and followed me as I walked over to the stairs. I stopped and turned back to look at my father. "Nite, Dad, see you in the morning."

"Nite, Edward. Sleep well."

Just as I turned to head up, I heard my mother call my name as she entered the room. "Edward?" I turned to face her. "Are you going to show Bella her room?" I nodded and she walked over to me, giving me a hug. "Good, get some rest…it's going to be a long day tomorrow." _Ain't that the truth. _She pulled back and turned to Bella. "Sleep well, dear," she said and gave her a hug too.

"Thank you, Mrs. … Esme," she said with a smile. Bella looked over at my father. "Goodnight, Carlisle."

"Goodnight, Bella. Sleep well," he said.

Bella looked back up at me. I gestured towards the second floor and she began to climb the stairs; I followed closely behind her.

As we got closer to the second floor, she looked uncertain as to where to go. I pointed to the next floor up. "Your room is on the third floor, across the hall from me," I said hesitantly, not sure if she was okay with that or not. "If you don't want to sleep there you can share a bed with Alice."

She smiled. "It's alright, Edward. Thank you for letting me stay here though."

I chuckled nervously. "Um…your welcome…but let me thank you, again, for agreeing to come here this weekend," I said, rubbing the back of my neck anxiously.

"Edward, calm down, please…everything will be okay, I promise. I told you before; I will be there for you. I'm not going anywhere; quit acting like I'm about to run for the hills screaming," she said with a smirk. "Besides, since I am going to go through hell tomorrow with Alice…let's just say, payback is a bitch." There was a wicked gleam in her eyes.

I grinned. "Bring it on!"

She laughed and I felt myself relax more. "Now, show me to my room," she said and I put my hand to the small of her back, motioning her to the second set of stairs. Once on that level I guided her to the room on the left; showing her where the bathroom was and extra towels if she decided to take a shower. I watched as she surveyed the room and then make her way over to the bed.

I headed towards the exit; stopping once I had reached the door and turned back to Bella. "If you need anything, I'm right across the hall," I said. She nodded with a yawn. "Have a good night, Bella. Sleep well."

"You too, Edward. Sweet dreams," she said softly as she pulled back the blanket and sheets.

"Thank you, you too," I said, then turned and exited her room.

_This was going to be a long night!_

**~*MoTH*~**

I woke up around eight-thirty, well-rested, surprisingly. I made it to my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Once I was done I grabbed a t-shirt and jeans, and got dressed. I made my way down stairs and I heard voices coming from the kitchen; I walked in and saw my mom and dad, Alice, Rosalie and Bella sitting around the bar.

My mother was the first to notice me. "Morning, dear. How'd you sleep?" Four pair of eyes turned to look at who she was talking to. I felt the heat traveling to my ears. _Damn._

"I slept well, quite well actually," I said, grinning. I looked at Alice, Rose and then Bella, who was smiling. I smiled in response. I looked back over at Alice, who was smirking. Damn her. "So, when are you ladies heading out?" I asked, trying to take the focus off of me.

Alice beamed. "We are leaving shortly," she said, then turned to look at the clock. "Oh, we need to go get ready, girls. We leave here, ETA fifteen minutes," she said as she jumped up from the stool. Rosalie followed and Bella got up slowly and started walking towards the stairs. She looked up glaring at me as she passed by me. It was hard, but I bit back the laughter that was fighting to erupt. I didn't want to be on the other end of the wrath of Bella. I swear I heard her grumbling as she climbed the stairs. I couldn't help but chuckle softly.

I turned back to my parents. Smiles graced both of their faces. I sighed. "I know what you're thinking and it's not like that. She's a good friend to me, that's all."

My father spoke first, "It doesn't look like that to me, son." My mother nodded in agreement.

I shook my head. "Honestly, there is too much going on right _now_ and…" I trailed off, looking at anything but them.

"And what?" I heard my mom ask.

"I…um…I don't…think she wants…anything like that…with me," I mumbled.

"Why do you think that?" my father asked.

I looked up at him. "She kind of told me so, I think…I don't know," I said confusedly. "Let's just drop it, please?"

"Edward, let me say this first," my mom said and I nodded. "I think there is more there than either you or her care to realize. You...I know you have _issues_ after what happened earlier this year." I stiffened in response to her words. My mom sighed. "But having said that…watching the two of you together, you guys react to each others' presence." _What the hell does she mean by 'react'?_ I must have had a confused look on my face because both of my parents snickered softly.

I pursed my lips at them, annoyed. "What do you mean by that, Mom?"

"You guys seem to _attract, gravitate _to each other," she said, smiling. I looked at her skeptically. "It's true, Edward. Take yesterday for example, the moment she took your hand, your whole body relaxed." _I can't deny that. _"When you both sat on the love seat, you started out at opposite ends but by the time you decided to go to bed, you two were almost in each other's laps you were so close." _No…No…I don't believe it…there's no way…we weren't that close…were we? How did I not see that? Did Bella notice it?_ "Edward, stop, I can see the doubt in your eyes. I think this is a _good_ thing. I think she could be good for _you," _she said thoughtfully. _Could she be? Could I let her in? What the hell was I thinking, she said no. She didn't want me…well, that's what she said…but that wasn't what her body was feeling. _I groaned inwardly. I was such a masochist.

"Mom…" I began, but the sound of the girls coming back down the stairs stopped me from going any further. I turned around to look at them. Alice and Rosalie were dressed as though they were about to go shopping on Rodeo Drive and Bella looked uncomfortable in the outfit Alice obviously forced her into. Poor Bella. They made their way over to where mom and dad were still sitting.

"We're heading out now," Alice said enthusiastically and I heard a soft groan come from Bella. I chuckled under my breath.

"Alright, Ali. We'll see you three later; be safe," Dad said.

"We will, Dad," she said as the girls started to head towards the garage. "See you later, Mom, love you," Alice called as she walked through the door.

Bella turned around before she exited the kitchen. The look of pure fear on her face forced a loud guffaw to escape from my lips. I quickly covered my mouth in surprise as I watched the look of fear morph into a look of fury. "Just wait, Cullen…you have no idea what's in store for you," she said icily, but there was a touch of amusement mixed in; then she turned and walked into the garage.

I heard the chuckling coming from behind me from both of my parents and I huffed in annoyance. "Go ahead, keep laughing…I'm so glad I can amuse the both of you." Their laughter got louder and I walked out the kitchen fuming, but anxious. _What the hell is she going to do to me?_ I was kind of excited to a point, _fucking freak_.

I needed to relax for a little while so I would be ready tonight for the full disclosure when everyone was home. I roamed through the house allowing myself to get lost in the silence that surrounded me. I didn't let my mind dredge up all of the negative memories it held; I didn't need that right now and hopefully after tonight, they would be put to rest.

Somehow I ended up in the music room and my eyes lingered over the shiny, black piano nestled in the corner of the room. I slowly walked over to it and ran my fingers over the lid. I moved to the front of the piano and allowed my fingertips to dust lightly over the keys. God, I truly missed playing. I loved my guitar, but the piano was a passion of mine too.

I pulled the bench out a little and sat down at the keys. I toyed with a few random notes, hearing the sound echo throughout the room. I felt all the lingering tension that inhabited my body leave. I felt free…light…calm. I hadn't felt like this in forever it seemed. I straightened my form and warmed up by playing the scales. After a few minutes I decided to play one of my favorite piano solos by Beethoven, _Moonlight Sonata_.

I played and played, for what seemed like hours, losing myself to the melodies that echoed through the room. I couldn't believe I had denied myself the love I had for playing music. Fuck Tanya twice over for being the cause of that; I should have never allowed it to happen. My issues with her should not have over shadowed the passion I carried in my _soul _for my music.

I listened as the last note faded into silence. Out of nowhere I heard a sniffle come from behind me. I jumped and turned to see my mother standing there with a tear stained face; she had watched me play.

"Oh, Edward, I have missed hearing you play," she said shakily.

"Why are you crying, Mom?" Was something wrong? "Is everything…everyone okay?"

"Everyone is fine, baby. These are happy tears," she said with a slight chuckle. I looked at her skeptically. "Honest…I was just overcome with emotion when I heard music coming from this room." She walked over and embraced me. I truly missed this…my mother, my family. I hugged her back, tightly and I heard her start crying again. I tried to pull back, but she tightened her hold on me in response.

"Mom?"

She finally let me go enough to where I was able to pull back and look at her. There was no worry, concern, or hurt in her eyes…only caring, compassion, and…love shone through. "I'm fine…truly…I'm just glad you're back…home," she added at the end, but I knew what she meant.

"Me too," I said honestly and pulled her into another hug; I heard her sigh in contentment.

She pulled away and linked her arm in mine. "Come on, it's time for lunch."

I looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost two o'clock. _Where the hell did the time go? _"I didn't realize I was in here for so long," I said in amazement.

She looked up at me, smiling. "I didn't have the heart to interrupt you. You seemed so at peace as you played."

I smiled. "I was…I missed playing. It frees me completely." I turned away from her as we left the music room making our way to the kitchen. "I won't allow what happened in the past to keep me from my music anymore," I said with conviction. "_She_ won't get the best of me," I sneered.

My mother patted my arm lightly. "Good for you, Edward."

We entered the kitchen and I saw my father already sitting at the table with Emmett and Jasper. "Hey guys, what have you two been up to?" I asked looking at Em and Jasper.

"Nothing much, bro. Just relaxing, enjoy a little down time before the girls get back," Em said, smirking. I snorted. I knew exactly what he meant. Alice will be in hyper drive when she got home; it would take her a couple hours to settle down. Rosalie wasn't too bad, but it also took her a little while to unwind after spending the day with Alice. _I wonder how Bella would be when she got back? _If her reaction to what she was forced in to doing today was any indication, I might want to stay away.

I turned to Jazz. "And you?"

He turned to me. "Pretty much the same thing." He smiled as he continued, "I heard the piano. I'm glad to see you're playing again, Edward."

I sighed. "Me too, man. I missed playing so much. It's been too long." He nodded. "Any idea when the girls will be back?" I asked.

"I texted Rosie about an hour ago and she said they had a few more places to head to and then they would be on their way back," Emmett answered, looking directly at me. He knew why I was asking.

I nodded. Good. The sooner the better; I didn't want to lose my nerve. I looked over at my parents for a bit before I spoke up.

"Mom…Dad…" They both looked over at me; I felt my heart jump to my throat. _I can't back out now…can't back out now…_ I kept repeating my little mantra. "I wanted to talk to everyone after dinner…it's kind of important…is that okay?" I asked hesitantly.

"Is everything okay?" My mother asked immediately; going into protective mother mode. I loved her for it. My father just sat there taking in the scene; loved him for that too. Though I was pretty sure I was going to get an earful when I laid it all out for them.

I thought about how to answer her question. No, everything was not alright but I didn't want to go into details yet. "Not really, but it would be easier if _everyone_ was here when I said what needed to be said," I said as I ran my fingers through my hair. My mother pursed her lips and stared at me. _She knows something is up._ _Well, she's going to have wait like everyone else. _"Mommm," I whined. "Quit looking at me like that. I hate when you do that!" _She makes me feel like I'm five when she does that, damn it._

"You're hiding something, Edward Anthony Cullen, I can tell," she said knowingly. Full name, that was fucking worse than the stare. I was about to hit panic mode, but before I did I heard the side door to the garage shut. _Oh thank God, they're home!_

"Mom! Dad!" I heard Alice yell from the hallway.

"In the kitchen," my father yelled back while my mother continued to stare me down. I saw the girls walk into the kitchen from the corner of my eye; Rose went to Emmett and Alice went over to where my mom and dad were sitting, Bella was just standing in the entrance way.

My mother broke away from her death glare and turned to Bella. "Come on in, honey. Dinner will be ready shortly," she said as she went over to the stove to check on the food. Alice was talking to dad about the stuff she picked up at the stores. I heard Rose telling Em how obnoxious Alice was the entire time; I snorted. I felt Bella come up behind me. The electrical current got stronger as she got closer. I turned and looked at her. She has a small smile; it didn't quite reach her eyes, I saw a hint of concern and worry in them.

"Is everything okay, Edward," she said softly.

I nodded. "Yeah," I chuckled nervously. "My mother went into supermom, all-knowing and all when I told her that I wanted to talk to everyone after dinner. She even gave me _that_ mom glare; you know the one that seems to penetrate your soul."

She giggled a little. "Yeah, my mom has given that one to me a few times…" she said thoughtfully and the continued, "Though I think the stare I get from my father is a million times worse. He makes me feel like I am in one of his interrogations," she laughed.

I nodded in agreement; having been on the other end of that stare of his a few times. I shuddered at the thought. "I don't know…she just made me question my judgment on telling everyone this. I'm afraid of how they are going to react," I said in an almost defeated tone.

"Come on, Edward. You can't think like that. You know what is at stake if you keep everyone in the dark. It's not safe for any of us at school and your parents need to know what happened so they can keep you safe now." There was something in her voice; I couldn't quite place what it was. I knew she was right. I needed to stop being a fucking pussy about it and just do it already.

I sighed in frustration; not at what Bella said, but at the situation I allowed to get this far. "I know…I will tell them…don't worry and thank you," I said with a smirk. She gave me a confused look and I leaned down close to her ear. "Thanks for giving me the kick in the ass I needed." She laughed out loud and the others stopped talking to look over at us. I leaned back to look at her when she stopped suddenly and saw that she was blushing from the attention. I snickered and she elbowed me in the stomach.

"Keep it up, buddy. Payback is a bitch and I'm keeping tabs," she said smoothly and the winked. _She's a dangerous one this one and I was in so much trouble._

**~*MoTH*~**

Dinner went quickly it seemed. We were all gathered around the table; conversing about everything and nothing. It was nice, but it ended too soon. My nerves were building upon each other, my stomach was in knots and a couple times I had come close to losing my dinner. _Fucking pussy._

Bella leaned over a couple times to see if I was okay and all I could was nod, hopefully reassuring her I was fine. I don't think she bought it though because I felt her move her hand over to my knee under the table and gave it a light squeeze; just my assurance from her that she was here with me, _for_ me.

When dinner was over, the girls got up to clear the table and clean up the kitchen. Us guys made our way to the family room while we waited for the girls to finish. No one spoke; not even Em, who was very rarely speechless. _Look what you've done, Cullen._ I didn't know how much time had passed but they girls joined us in the family room. My mother went to sit next to my father. Rose went and sat on Em's lap on the couch. Jasper was sitting next to them but on the other end of the couch. Alice sat in the chair next to my parents and Bella, well; she came to sit next to me on the loveseat.

Everyone was staring at me, except for Bella; she knew what was coming. I suddenly felt the need to dig a whole and crawl in. How was I going to start this conversation? I placed my elbows on my knees and ran both of my hands through my hair grabbing handfuls in frustration. I felt Bella place her hand on my arm and I instantly started to feel my body start to relax. How did she do that?

I heard my mother's voice break me out of my haze. "Edward, you said earlier that you needed to talk to everyone tonight," she said and I looked up at her, nodding. "What is it that you need to tell us?" Her face was full of concern.

I looked around the room, staring into each of my family member and friends' faces. Each showed a touch of worry, concern and…love. Seeing that made what I had to do a little but easier, but I was still worried about the outcome. Bella's rubbed her hand up my arm and removed one of my hands from my hair; clasping it in hers. My nerves were slowly unwinding. I took a very deep breath in and cleared my throat.

Over the next two and a half hours I told my family _everything._ I told them all the stupid, immature shit James and I did before I graduated from high school. I heard a few gasps, groans and chuckles that turned into choke coughs after my father glared at them, Em and Jasper. _Fuckers._ But thankfully, no one made any comments while I did, which made going into the second part of my story a little easier. I didn't want to stop; I needed to get this all out now.

I looked over at Bella and she smiled at me; all the encouragement I needed to continue, another deep breath and I began.

"You guys remember the spring break trip I took to Port Angeles my senior year?" I asked looking at everyone. I saw some nods and a few 'yeahs'. "Well, you know that I went with James and a few other friends from school…" I trailed off. This was harder than I thought. "We stayed with James' friend Laurent at his house the entire week," I said as I looked down at Bella and my clasped hands. I didn't want to see the disappointment or horror on their faces went I continued further. "Most of that time was nothing but a huge party. There was alcohol, drugs and…girls." I cringed when I heard the gasp from my mother. "I never touched the drugs, I promise," I pleaded as I looked up at my mother and father. I saw the doubt in their eyes and it killed me. This was what I was afraid of. I felt the tears prick behind my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut in defiance. Now was not the time for this.

"Go on, Edward," Bella said softly.

"I can't," I croaked out.

She leaned into me. "Yes, yes you can. Trust that everything will be alright, I promise." I shook my head. She took her right hand and cupped my face, pulling it towards her. "Look at me, Edward," she said firmly but softly. I opened my eyes to look at her. I saw the determination on her face, she was glorious. "You **can** do this; you've already done it – with me, a complete stranger, now it's your turn to tell your _family._" I nodded.

"We are here for you, bro. You know that. We aren't going anywhere." I heard Em say.

Alice chimed in next. "We're not here to judge you, Edward. Please, let us be here this time for you. That's what family is for." I heard the emotion in her voice. _ I don't want to hurt them._

"Edward, please just get it out, son. I can see what this is doing to you. We all want to help you; let us," my father said. I saw nothing but love in his eyes. No anger…no hatred…no distrust… I looked over at my mother next, same thing…as I observed the rest of my _family _I saw the same in each of their faces. _Wow_.

"During the week we were there, Laurent invited girls to come party. Each night it was a different group…there were a couple regulars that kept coming back. James found interest in one, Victoria, when she showed up again the second night. He was with her almost the entire week. That Saturday night she didn't show up, James _found_ another girl," I said as I felt the bile rise in my throat.

"Bree was shy. She found me that night and tried to strike up a conversation with me. I was with Tanya, so I wasn't looking for anything like the others did. James and Laurent poked fun at me all week when I shrugged off the girls who showed interest in me." I felt Bella tense next to me. "Anyway, when Victoria did show that last day, James was kind of pissed off. When he saw Bree with me, he came over and tried to _charm_ her away from me. He led her away from me and towards the bedroom," I said lowly. I needed some water. I got up and walked towards the kitchen, leaving my family behind in silence.

I took in deep, calming breaths as I walked to the kitchen. How was I going to finish this? My head was swimming with emotions. I reached for the fridge and opened the door; the cool air hitting me quickly. I grabbed for a bottle of water and hesitated for a moment before closing the door. Once I did I turned around and saw Bella standing next to the island. I didn't even hear her come in. She walked up to me when I didn't move and grabbed my hand. I tightened my hold in response. She pulled me towards the exit and I didn't stop her.

"You're almost done…" she said softly as we walked back to the family room. As soon as we entered in the room, everyone turned their heads to look at us. My mother and Alice had small smiles on their faces, reassuring me that everything was okay. Everyone one else just sat in their seats in anticipation for the rest of my story.

"I'm sorry I left like that. It was overwhelming and I needed some water," I said, holding up the bottle to show them. I sat down and opened the bottle, taking a large gulp of water. God, I needed that.

"You okay to continue?" Jasper asked me.

"Yeah…just bear with me, it's a little hard for me to say what's coming up next," I said, almost pleading with them. They all nodded. "Thank you. Okay…" I breathed out the last word. "Um…As I said before, James took Bree up to his room. The look on her face when she turned around and looked at me will be with me for the rest of my life." My voice raked with emotion. I heard my mom and the girls gasp; I shivered in response. "After about two hours, James came back down stairs, without Bree, beaming with pride," I sneered.

"He walked over to Laurent and a group of their friends, each of them giving him hi-fives. I wasn't that far from the group so I heard pretty much their entire conversation. Laurent asked what happened to the girl he took upstairs. James laughed as he told them how Bree tried to fight him off at the beginning but after a little 'coaxing' she gave it up. The details became very graphic after that," I said with disgust. I looked quickly at everyone before I lost my nerve. Alice, Rose and mom had tears in their eyes. Jazz, Em and dad had looks of pure shock and anger in them. My father's jaw was tense with anger. _God, I hope this wasn't aimed at me. _Then there was Bella, she had this stoic look on her face but I could see she was trying to bury the anger down; she was trying but failing. I squeezed her hand and she gave me a small smile in return.

I continued, "About half an hour passed and I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked over at Bree coming down the stairs. She was trying to keep her shirt closed; it looked like it had been torn open. She was trying to shield her face with her hair as she slowly descended, but I saw it. I walked over to her to help her and she flinched away from me. I looked over her and she had bruises that had started to form around her wrists. Her left cheek was red and swollen; her lips were also swollen and but her bottom was busted open. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face had dried streams of tears running down it." I had to fight back a growl.

My mother spoke up. "Did he rape her, Edward?" Her voice was laced with emotion and all I could do was shake my head yes. "What happened to her?" She was in full protection mode.

I wanted to tell her that I kicked his ass and took Bree to the police; that I stood up for her, protected her. But no…I couldn't say that. "She went home. She never called the cops. James pretty much threatened her life if she said anything to anyone. I tried to confront him, but he said if I said anything he would come after me, my family and Tanya. I couldn't put you guys at risk. After what happened to Bree, I couldn't take that chance. I had no idea what he would be capable of. If he could rape a girl, I could see him raising the stakes," I said in defeat. That was what it boiled down to. I had no idea what James would do; I still don't and that frightens me.

"And you never said anything to anyone all this time?" my father asked.

I shook my head no. "I didn't want to chance it. I didn't want something to slip and get back to him, then he would come find me or one of you guys," I said motioning to them. "But the reason why I am telling everyone this now is because James is attending the same college as we are."

"Are you serious?" my mother screeched and I cringed. _Here it comes_. "No way in hell are you guys going back there!" _Yep…that's what I was waiting for._

"Mom, look, Edward told us this so we could be better prepared if James tried something. We can't stop going to school, classes just started," Em said.

"Has he?" dad asked, looking over at me.

"We had some…words," I said, trying to keep it cool. "But, my concern is that his focus is on Bella…more so _now_ because of me."

"What do you mean by that?" mom asked, confused.

"He tried to ask her out, but now that he knows she is friends with us, he may take advantage of that. James usually gets what he wants," I growled.

"You mean Tanya?" Rose asked.

"And more…" I added.

"So now what?" mom asked.

"Nothing…there is nothing we _can_ do but keep ourselves safe," I said.

"Why isn't he in prison?" Rose asked.

"Because Bree refused to go to the cops, she still won't. I can't say anything without her backing the story and the others at the party won't cross James. They fear him," I said through clenched teeth. "So, we just have to stay away from him…don't instigate anything with him."

"What about campus security? Can't you give them a heads up, say there is a possible criminal, rapist on campus?" mom asked.

"It would be our word against his and he could get us for harassment and defamation of character, even though it would be all facts, there is no evidence to back it up. Believe me, if there was a way to take care of him…legally…" I added at the last minute. "I would do it." I couldn't even look at Bella because I knew she was probably sporting an angry, red face right about now. She knew I wanted to take care of him myself but she made me promise to leave him alone. Damn.

I sighed. "Look, I know I have laid a lot out there but I am really exhausted, physically and emotionally right now. Can we call it a night and talk more tomorrow?" I asked, pleadingly. "We will figure all this out. Please?"

Mom sighed and acquiesced. "Fine…everyone, to bed, but this isn't the last of this conversation. Have a good night, everyone."

Alice got up to hug and kiss mom and dad goodnight. Em followed behind her. Rose gave mom a hug and wished dad a good night. Jazz followed suit. They all left, leaving Bella and I with my parents.

My mother watched as they all left the room and then slowly turned back to me. "Edward, I can't believe this all happened _and_ you didn't say _anything_ after all this time," my mother said; more disappointed than angry.

I looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, mom. It wasn't intentional, I thought I was protecting my family and friends, honestly," I said, finally looking back up at her. I saw her eyes glaze over. Oh no, no tears. I couldn't handle it if she cried again. "Everything will be fine now that everyone knows. We can keep each other safe. James won't be able to hurt _any _of us," I said, stressing the word 'any' so Bella knew what I meant by that.

"I know, but we worry. Knowing _this_ will make us worry more. Promise me that you guy will come home every weekend and call us during the week so we know that everyone is okay," mom said, her voice cracking. "You too," she said as she looked to Bella.

"I promise," I said honestly. If that was all she was asking for, then I would be more than happy to do so.

"I promise too. If they don't, especially him," Bella said pointing to me. "I will personally kick his butt until he does."

Mom and dad chuckled in response. "I like her, Edward," mom laughed. She looked at me knowingly.

"Okay you two…time for bed. We will see you in the morning," dad said and then he led mom out of the family room towards the stairs.

"Night," Bella said.

"Have a good night you two," mom called back.

"Love you," I answered.

They turned before they got to the stairs. "Love you too, baby," she said with a smile. My father smiled too; they turned back and headed up the stairs.

I turned to Bella and she looked up at me. We stared at each other for a few moments and then she surprised me by grabbing me around my waist; pulling me into a tight hug. I gasped. "What is this for?" I asked still surprised.

"It looked like you needed it. It has been a long, emotional day. Was that okay?" she asked, worried by my reaction. I answered her question by putting my arms around her, tightly. _Like I would deny her touching me. _She sighed softly and I felt her body relax into mine. _Oh God. She feels so good._ We stood there wrapped in each other for a while, and as much as I truly didn't want to let her go, it was time to go to bed. There was some things to go over still and we also had to head back to school later that afternoon.

I hesitantly pulled back and I felt Bella's grip tighten quickly, but then she huffed and loosened her hold on me. I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at me. "You okay?" I felt her tense a little.

She sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just been a long day, week and I think it has finally caught up with me."

"Okay…are you sure that's all it is?" I asked, not convinced.

She looked away and stepped out of my arms. I missed her immediately. "I'm sure, Edward," she said. "I'm going to head to bed. I'm really tired." She turned to look in my direction, but not directly at me. "I will see you in the morning." She turned and headed towards the stairs.

"Bella?" I called her name. What was going on? She stopped; still facing away from me. "Look at me please," I said softly. She didn't move and I took a few steps towards her; moving in front of her. I noticed her eyes were closed and I clasped her face in between my hands. "Please, Bella, look at me." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and then she opened them slowly; locking on mine. So many emotions swimming behind those deep, chocolate pools_. What I would give to be able to read her mind right now_.

"What's going on? I hope I didn't do anything to upset you…"

She cut me off. "No…no, you didn't do anything. I was being honest when I said everything from this week and today finally caught up with me. It's just all hitting home, sort to speak. I needed to be strong to help you get through everything earlier. So I pushed everything down; I shut it all off. Now, I'm in some sort of emotional overload. I'm sorry, I didn't want you to see that," she said, trying to move her head out of my hands. _Not going to happen, baby_.

"Bella, you do NOT need to hide this away from me. It's there because of me and I'm truly sorry for that, more than you know, believe me." She started to protest but I cut her off. "I should have been strong enough to handle this on my own; I shouldn't have involved you." She opened her mouth but I stopped her from speaking. "But, I want to thank you for being there for me; for being my rock." I saw the corner of her mouth twitch in response. _I have an idea!_ I looked deeper into her eyes before I spoke. _I think this will help her, us. _She looked at me, confused. "I was wondering…would you like to go somewhere with me tomorrow after we all finish our talk?"

She didn't speak; it was actually making me nervous and I took my hands away from her face. She looked like she was deep in thought. I was about to ask her again, but she beat me to the punch. "I think I would like that," she said timidly.

"You don't have to you know. It's just a place I like to go when I want to get away from everything; to relax and to get myself together. I used it often after the events from spring break. "

"Edward, I know I don't have to go; but I think I could use the time away from _everything_," she said honestly. I nodded in agreement.

"Good, it's settled then. I think if we leave by ten, then we would have enough time to get there and be home at a decent time before we have to head back to campus," I said, smiling. She smiled in response and her eyes gleamed in excitement. _I felt a jolt of electricity surge through my heart; I've never felt that before. _ What was she doing to me? I cleared my throat before I continued, "Alright, I think we should head up to bed. I think it's going to be an interesting day tomorrow." She groaned and nodded; I chuckled. We headed upstairs and to our respective rooms; wishing each other a good night.

Before I fell asleep, a wave of anxiousness washed through me and I wasn't sure why. Was it because of the continuation of the talk or was it because I was going to be _alone_ with Bella at my special getaway? After quite a few minutes the anxiousness finally left my body and I fell into a deep sleep.

**~*MoTH*~**

I had woken up this morning feeling a little bit better about things. The talk with my family helped me a lot; most of the tension I was feeling was alleviated once I had laid everything out on the proverbial table. The fear I carried thinking my family would be angry and disgusted with me for my part in everything; including the situation with James and Bree, was gone once I saw the love and understanding everyone showed me. They were upset, understandably, but there were more concerned about me and how I was feeling. I should have never doubted them.

We all sat down to eat breakfast and continued where we had left off last night. We discussed how were would keep ourselves out of James' way and my father made a point in saying that us boys were to in no way shape or form going to provoke him in any manner. Em, Jazz and I looked at each other – what my parents didn't know won't hurt them. I couldn't personally go after James because of what I promised Bella, but that didn't mean we couldn't find other ways to take him down. Karma was a bitch and she was ready for payback.

The _no walking campus alone_ rule was still in effect; mom made sure of that after we had told her how we took care of getting to classes and such. She reiterated that everyone was to come home on the weekends and we were to call them at the end of the day. I nodded, Em and Alice groaned, Rose and Jazz snickered, and Bella sat there with a knowing smile on her face.

Once everything was cleared up, breakfast ended on a lighter note. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was a little after nine-thirty. I wanted to head out soon so I got Bella's attention while the girls where in the kitchen finishing up dishes. I pulled her off to the side so no one heard about where we were going.

"Will you be ready soon?" I asked and Bella looked up at the clock.

"Yeah, give me a few minutes to get ready. Do I need to wear anything special?" she asked curiously.

"It's a nice day out, just bring a light sweater or jacket in case you get cold later," I said evasively.

Her brows furrowed. "Where are you taking me?" she whispered.

I shrugged. "It's a secret," I said, smirking.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, let me go change and I'll meet you down here in ten minutes?" she asked.

"I'll be here."

Bella left the kitchen towel on the counter and went upstairs to change. I heard a throat clear behind me. I sighed as I turned around to see Alice, my mother and Rosalie staring at me; each with a wide grin on their face. Rosalie's was more like a smirk than a grin.

I groaned, "What?" They were up to no good and I wasn't going to play any part in their schemes, especially if it involved my meddling little sister.

"Oh nothing, Edward," Alice sang as she twirled a towel in her hand. I didn't believe her for one millisecond.

"Spit it out, Alice. I know you are dying to say _something_," I said, annoyed.

She giggled; I was going to regret this. _Damn her._ "Soooo…where are you going with Bella?" I knew it. Evil, pure evil.

"None of your business, short stuff," I said as I walked over to the fridge to grab a water.

"Don't give me that, Edward," she scoffed. "I know you are going out and you're taking Bella with you." It almost came out like a whine, but not quite.

I chuckled. "And?" Rose and mom laughed when Alice slapped the counter top in a mini tantrum.

"Oh come on, Edward. Why are you trying to keep it a secret?" she asked, trying to goad me.

I laughed again. "I'm not, it's just none of your business. I don't have to tell you _everything_ I do, sis." Alice huffed in annoyance and threw the towel in the sink and walked off.

She stopped before she exited the kitchen and turned to look at me. I saw the gleam in her eyes and she opened her mouth to speak. "I just want to go on record and say 'I told you so'." She winked at me before she turned and left.

"What the hell does she mean by that?" I asked with a touch of annoyance and frustration in my voice. Rosalie snickered and shook her head as she walked out of the kitchen. "Has everyone gone insane?" I growled. My mother walked over to me and placed her hand on my arm. "What am I missing, mom?"

She smiled and lifted her other hand to brush my hair back from my forehead. "I guess you don't see what we see right now, but in time you will and we will be so very happy for you," she said cryptically. _Okay, everyone is official nuts!_

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

She took my hand and placed it in hers, covering it with her other hand. "You'll see soon, very soon." She looked up at me and smiled. Just then Bella walked into the kitchen. _Thank God, get me away from these crazy people._ My mother dropped my hand, turned and left me in the kitchen with Bella.

I turned to her after I watched my mother leave the room. "Okay…we are officially in an episode of the Twilight Zone in this house. We need to go, NOW."

Bella looked at me confusedly but then she busted out laughing. "I honestly was not expecting you to say that. Why would you think we were in the Twilight Zone?"

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Because everyone has gone insane in the span of five minutes." Bella continued to laugh and I rolled my eyes, groaning. "Come on, let's get out of here." I place my hand at the small of her back and pointed in the direction of the garage. I didn't need any of the craziness of this family rubbing off on me, I had my own supply.

We got in my car and headed towards State Road 101. We drove in complete silence. I would glance over at Bella every once in a while; she was just sitting there staring out the passenger window. I wondered what was going through her mind. Was she regretting coming with me?

Over half an hour later, I was itching for some sort of conversation. "Penny for your thoughts?" I asked softly, trying not to startle her. I heard her sigh and after a minute she slowly turned her head in my direction. I had a hard time reading her; she wasn't angry or sad, but she wasn't happy either. "That bad?" I asked.

She shrugged and lowered her gaze. She finally turned back to the window; not saying a word. "Do you want me to take you back to my house?" I asked, worried.

She shook her head no. After what seemed like forever, she finally opened her mouth to speak. "There is _a lot_ on my mind; not much you can do about it. I'm hoping this place you're taking me to will allow me to escape, even for a little bit." She said the last bit so softly I almost didn't catch it.

"We are almost there. Believe me, when you see this place, you won't have a care in the world," I said thoughtfully. She looked over at me with a small smile. I winked at her and her smile grew. "You know everything will be okay, right?" She closed her eyes; the smile faded, but she nodded. I sighed. "I won't let anything happen to _any_ of you." Her eyes snapped open. Uh oh. I saw the fire in her eyes, she looked pissed.

I quickly turned my attention to the road; taking in the scenery. _Oh thank God, we're here!_ I exited the main highway and drove until the pavement ended. I took the dirt road a little bit further and then parked the car behind a group of bushes; effectively hiding my car. I turned the engine off and opened the door to get out. When Bella didn't follow and leaned down to look inside the car; she was busy looking around, not paying any attention to me.

"Bella?" I called. She jumped slightly then turned to face me; confusion was the predominant emotion there. "Are you getting out?" I asked pointing at her door. She looked at it for a moment and then opened it. She got out slowly, looking around. I walked over to her side, leaning up against the car.

"Where are we?" Bella asked. The look on her face was a mixture of shock, confusion and excitement.

"We are about an hour or so outside of Forks, Washington. There is a place about a couple miles that way," I said pointing into the dense forest, "That I am taking you to. I hope you don't mind a little hike."

She snorted. "Yeah… if you don't mind making sure I don't fall and break a few bones."

I laughed, "Uncoordinated?" She laughed and blushed as she nodded. "No problem, we can take it slow. Come on."

We started walking up the dirt path, entering the forest. I made sure she didn't trip over tree roots or small pebbles; it was an interesting trek. I was paying attention to Bella's steps more than my own that I actually lost my footing and fell to the ground. Bella doubled over in laughter as I sat there with my arms crossed over my chest in rebellion.

"Hey, at least it wasn't me…if it was we'd be on our way to the emergency room," she said in midst of giggles. "I visit there so often I am on first name basis with the doctors there." She was wiping the tears from her laughter from her cheeks as I got up from the forest floor. She looked at me and started laughing again. "You should have seen your face after you fell; pouting like a five year old." Well if falling over my own feet made her feel better; then I would take it. I didn't want her feeling angry or sad.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Let's go, we are almost there. Just through that area ahead, about fifty feet." She nodded and we continued walking.

Once we made it through, I immediately saw the clearing; it was so much brighter. The sun rays were breaking through the trees. I couldn't wait; I missed this place. I turned back to Bella; she was a few steps behind me. She looked up and stopped. I put my hand out and she took it without question. I led her past the forest's edge and into my little piece of heaven. As soon as she saw it I heard her gasp; I smiled. I gave her a few minutes to let the shock of this place dissipate.

I looked down to her. "So…what do you think?"

She took a deep breath, possibly trying to formulate her thoughts into words. To describe this place was almost impossible. There was nothing around for miles; it was like time stood still here. There was no technology or a human's touch to spoil this place.

"Edward…this place…is…amazing…how did…you…ever…find this?" she asked breathlessly.

I didn't want to tarnish this moment so I tried to keep it vague. "When I ran to get away, I ended up driving for a while. When I got to the end of that dirt road, I got out of my car and just walked until I couldn't anymore. I had stopped for a moment, to catch my breath and when I looked around I saw that there was an opening. I wanted to know what it led to so I investigated." I smiled remembering the memory from that day. I was so glad I found this place. "I stayed here for hours that day. I got lost in the surroundings, allowing nature to take over."

She took a few more steps into the clearing. She stopped and did a complete three-sixty. I heard a 'wow' come from her. I chuckled and moved along with her. I grasped her hand and led her further into the middle of the meadow. I sat down; feeling more relaxed than I had in a very long time. After a second, Bella joined me and sat crossed-legged with her hands in her lap. I leaned back on my elbows and watched her. She was still taking in the environment.

I closed my eyes after a few minutes and leaned my head back, allowing the sun to heat my face. It felt great. I heard Bella move beside me, but I didn't look at her.

She broke the silence a short time later. "Thank you for bringing me here, Edward. I have never been to a place like this. There is nothing remotely like this in Arizona or Forks for that matter," she snorted.

"What were you doing in Arizona?" I asked, curious.

She sighed. "Well, my parents got divorced when I was younger and I lived with my mother for most of my life. We moved all over, but ended up in Arizona at the end."

"What about Forks?"

"When I was seventeen, my mother got remarried to Phil Dwyer, a minor league baseball player, and he needed to travel, she wanted to go with him and so I ended up moving home to live with my father and as they say, the rest is history. So…tell me, what brought you here?" she asked knowingly.

I groaned; really not wanting to relive that memory. "Well, after the James thing in Port Angeles happened, I tried to steer clear of him. Unfortunately that didn't happen. I ran into him shortly after the incident. It was about two weeks later, I had to go into town for something, I don't remember what for but I saw him coming out of one the stores. I turned to walk away from him but he ended up catching up with me."

I opened my eyes this time to look at her. She was listening intensely. "He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. He asked how I was doing and had I talked to anyone recently. When I told them that I hadn't, he made it very clear that if he found out otherwise he would _take care_ of my family and Tanya," I said with disgust. Bella placed her hand on my arm and I felt the spark immediately. I would have allowed myself to get lost in her touch, but I continued the explanation not letting it deter me. "When he left me alone, I felt the need to run. I jumped in my car and viola," I said, motioning my arm in the direction of the meadow.

"I'm sorry that that happened, Edward. But I look at the outcome of that meeting and I am still in awe. I hope it did the same for you?" she asked, curious.

I slowly looked over my surroundings; my gaze stopping on Bella. "I would say it was the best thing that ever happened," I said with a smile. "So, you're in awe?"

She nodded. "Oh yeah, this place is amazing! I wish I could stay here forever." She looked at me and blushed.

I laid down, looking up at the sky. "Me too." I heard Bella move and I turned my head to look over at her. She had lain down next to me and I noticed her hand resting next to mine. I had the need to touch her again. So I moved my hand to cover hers and her breath hitched. "Is this okay?" I asked, worried I had overstepped her bounds again.

"Yes," she breathed. I closed my hand around hers completely and I felt the tremor run through it. I smiled inwardly.

We laid there in a peaceful silence for a while. Then some time later Bella thought we should play a game; to get to know each other better. I looked at her skeptically and she laughed.

She turned to lie on her left side. "It's called twenty questions," she said.

I rolled my eyes. This would be interesting. "Okay," I said hesitantly.

She laughed again. "It's not that bad, Edward. Are you too chicken?" She raised her brow in challenge. _Oh no she didn't._

"Bring it on!" I said determinedly, turning to lie on my right side facing her.

She chuckled and began. She asked me what my favorite color was, favorite movies and music. _Well, that wasn't so bad._ I told her my favorite color was blue, I was a fan of pretty much any eighties film – like _The Breakfast Club, Bladerunner _and all of the _Indiana Jones_ films, Harrison Ford kicked some serious ass. I told her that I loved all kinds of music and I played almost all kinds too.

I in turn asked her what hers were. She told me her favorite color changed on her mood. When I asked what hers was right now, she looked at me and said green. _Uh huh_. Her favorite movies consisted _From Here to Eternity, Gone with the Wind, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink and The Notebook. _But her true passion was books. She read _everything_, as she expressed it. As far as music, she had a very eclectic collection in her iPod she mentioned, anywhere between indie rock, alternative, rock, R&B and Pop.

We talked about our families, Forks High School – which had us laughing like hyenas until tears ran down our faces, what our dreams were for the future – that question was open-ended and neither of us treaded outside of career aspirations; it left me feeling a little awkward.

I decided to turn this a little personal. I asked her if she had dated anyone. She tensed up a little bit and turned her gaze away from me.

"No one was ever really interested in me and I moved too much to really date. There were a couple boys in Forks, but I was new to school and I wasn't looking for anything," she said with a touch of annoyance in her voice. Was she crazy? I had a hard time believing that no one would be interested in her.

"What about now?" I asked. My curiosity was definitely piqued.

She turned back to me with a wicked gleam in her eye; my eyes widened in response. "Uh uh, it's my turn…what about you. I know you dated Tanya, were there any others?"

I was half expecting to shut down in response to Tanya's name, but I didn't feel anything. I was honestly surprised and pleased all at the same time. I smiled inwardly.

"I never really _dated_ until I met Tanya. There were girls I chilled with before her," I said, feeling a little appalled that I just basically admitted I slept around before I met Tanya. I saw a flash of something in her eyes and then it was gone. _What was that? Did I make her feel uneasy? Disgusted? Fuck._ I ran my hand through my hair. I took the spotlight off of me. "Now, back to my previous question…What about now, are you looking for anything?

She stared at me for a moment before she answered. "No, I'm not really looking for anything," she said. For some reason I was kind of disappointed by her answer. Why was that? I knew why. Was I ready to finally admit it to myself? Then I heard her speak. "…if something did happen, then fine, but I honestly don't see that happening." I huffed in annoyance and her brows furrowed. "What?" she asked.

"Why don't you see anything happening?" I asked in a challenge.

She snorted. "Um, it's it obvious? I'm not like other girls. I'm just me, plain Bella Swan."

I growled in response. "Obvious? No. I guess I'm the type of person that sees more than what is on the outside. But from what I can see on the outside…it is just a beautiful as what's inside." She shook her head as she looked down. "Why is that so hard for you to hear?" I asked while I squeezed her hand.

She looked back up and I could see that her eyes were glassy. "It's not something I'm used to hearing. It's easier to believe the bad stuff I guess," she sighed.

I nodded in agreement and understanding; because it was true. The bad stuff was always easier to accept, especially if you are told it over and over again. But, I was going to make her _hear_ what I had to say.

I took my other hand and gripped her chin in between my thumb and forefinger; making her focus on me. Once she did I moved my hand to cup her cheek. "Bella, I know what it's like to feed and live off the bad things. But now, it's time for a change." _In more ways than one._ "First of all, you believing that you're nothing but _plain_…I really beg to differ, the moment I first saw you…" _I can't believe I'm going to tell her this. _"Even with my _issues_, you made my heart stop. I was utterly taken by you."

Her eyes widened and her breath hitched. "Edward…"

I shook my head and placed my thumb over her lips. "No…let me say this, please. You are amazingly beautiful and breath taking, believe me, it's happened a quite a few times to me," I said, smiling. I felt her chin quiver. "After everything that happened with Tanya, I told myself I didn't need someone in my life; I didn't need…love. I fought with myself from the moment I saw you; tried not to get personal. You were my sister's friend and roommate, that's all you were supposed to be to me…but I can't stay away from you anymore." I watched as a tear slowly drop from her eye and trickle down her cheek. I moved my thumb from her lips to wipe the tear away, never taking my eyes off of her.

"Then don't," she whispered.

I leaned closer to her; bringing my face closer, conveying with my eyes my intentions. There was no hesitation or fear in hers…just acceptance. I lightly brushed my lips against hers; they were so warm and inviting. I pulled way just a bit so I could look at her. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes were closed and her breathing had increased. She slowly opened her eyes and looked directly at me; again, only acceptance. I wanted to truly kiss her this time. I leaned back in and gently covered her lips with mine; her bottom lip fitting in between mine. _Heaven._

I wasn't sure how far I should go with this, but when I felt her tongue lightly trace my top lip seeking entrance, I didn't hesitate, I opened my mouth allowing her in. The touch of her tongue against mine was indescribable; I wanted more. I moved my head to deepen the kiss and I heard a soft moan come from her. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh God._

I moved my hand to the back of her neck pulling her closer to me; wanting to feel her next to me. She moved closer, but then she laid down so her back was flat against the ground, in effect making me hover over her. I pulled back, worried about what was happening, but when I opened my eyes to look down at her, she was smiling. I couldn't help but smile in response.

"Are you okay, Edward?" I nodded. She reached up to clasp my face between her hands; pulling it down towards hers. _Who was I to deny what she wanted? Hell, I wanted it too. _My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest…she made my body react in ways I never thought was possible. I wanted to stay there and kiss her forever.

I lowered myself even more so my body could touch more of hers. Her hands moved from the sides of my face deep into my hair and pulled it slightly. I groaned in response. _Fuck…that feels good._ I deepened the kiss even further; giving in to the intensity of the emotions I was feeling. I wanted her to feel how much I needed her, how stupid I was for fighting with myself. She whimpered…Fucking whimpered.

I slowly ran my hand down the side of her body; feeling the shudder that rocked through it. _Yep, same effect she has on me._ I had to keep the lower half of my body away from her, so she couldn't _feel_ what she was doing to me. But Bella wasn't having any of that. She moved closer to me, her body molding into mine and she moaned; not the little moan she did earlier, but a loud, sexy as hell moan. I started kissing along her jaw, her neck and to a spot right behind her ear that when I licked and nipped it, she bucked her hips in response. I was a goner. I moved back to her lips and she sighed when they connected again. She was definitely going to be the death of me.

I knew I had to stop before it went any further, and oh, how I would have loved to have gone further, but I wasn't going to do that to Bella. She deserved more, better. I slowed the kisses down to light pecks on lips after a minute or two. I also needed to calm my body down before we headed back to the car or it would be one uncomfortable walk back. I kissed her lips a couple more times, and then I kissed both of her cheeks, eyelids and finished with the tip of her nose, she giggled.

I opened my eyes and found her looking right at me. She lifted her hand, brushing the hair from my forehead and smiled. I kissed her one more time and got up. Once I was up I extended my hand and helped her. I pulled her into me and embraced her tightly. She wrapped her arms around my neck. I had no regrets, I hoped she didn't either. I wanted her and I would make damn sure she knew that.

I kissed her forehead. "You ready to head back?"

I felt her take a deep breath in and sigh. "No, not really. I truly like this place. I would love to come back sometime."

"Oh, you can count on it. We can come here anytime that you want," I said honestly.

"Good," she said excitedly.

"Come on, let's go, we still have to pack when we get back to the house before we head back to school," I half groaned, loosening my hold on her.

She pulled back and laughed. "Speak for yourself. I'm already packed."

I let her go, but intertwined my hand with hers. "Figures," I mumbled as we began walking back into the forest. She laughed louder.

It didn't take as long getting back to the car as it did getting to the meadow, which was good because it was almost four-thirty and there was an hour drive ahead of us. The drive was nice, lighter. I had taken her in mine and placed them on the center console while I drove. I needed that contact, not sure what was driving that need, but it was there. She didn't seem to mind.

We arrived at my house in a little less than an hour, praise the technology buffs for inventing the radar detectors. Not even a second after Bella and I walked through the door were we bombarded by my brother and sister. I could see my parents in the background fighting the urge to laugh. My father was doing a better job than my mother. Alice pulled Bella off to the side; she looked back at me, annoyance evident in her eyes. I snickered.

Emmett on the other hand placed his arm around my shoulder, pulling into him, hard. "So…what did you and little one do for the last eight hours, Edward?" he asked with a knowing look in his eyes. _Fucker._

"Not a damn thing, Em. We just went for a drive and we talked." Well, it was partially the truth.

"Uh huh…spill it, bro," he said teasingly.

"There's nothing to spill, prick," I growled.

"There is _no_ way that you two went off to talk and drive, Eddie," he said, waggling his eyebrows.

I pushed his arm from around my shoulder and stepped away from him. "Believe what you want, man. I need to go pack so I can be ready when we leave," I said roughly as I walked past everyone else to head to my room. _Fucking knowing prick._ _Sometimes this family scares me with the all-knowing shit. _The thing between me and Bella was none of their business. When _I_ knew exactly what it was, then I would let them in, but right now, Bella and I needed to figure it out for ourselves first.

I finished packing my things and I was back downstairs in twenty minutes. Everyone already had their bags next to the garage door. Alice, Rosalie and Bella were talking in kitchen when I walked by after dropping my bag off. I couldn't hear what they were talking about but they were laughing and having a good time.

I went to find my parents. It was almost time to go. I couldn't wait to get back to school but I hated having to say goodbye to my parents. On the upside though, since mom was making us come home each weekend it wouldn't be that bad. They were in the living room talking to Em and Jasper. They turned to look at me when I walked in the room.

"You all set, hun?" mom asked.

"Yeah…" I looked at Em and Jazz. "You guys ready, it's almost six?" They both nodded. I looked back at my parents. "So…guess we'll see you next weekend?"

"You better be home, don't make me come there and find you. You'll regret it if I do," she said laughing, pulling me into a hug.

"We'll be here, promise," I said reassuringly.

"Make sure you bring Bella. I don't want to worry about her too. I know her father's in Forks, so it would give her an extra incentive to come home." I nodded. I let go of my mother and turned to my father.

He surprised me by pulling me into a hug. "Stay safe, Edward. Take care of each other and we'll see you soon," he said, tightening his hold on me. _Whoa!_

"I will, dad. I promise," I said emotionally. I was at a loss for words. I wasn't expecting all this love, caring, and compassion after everything I said yesterday. I will never doubt my family again. I heard the girls enter the room.

"You guys ready to go?" Rose asked. We turned to look at her, answering by nodding our heads. "Then come on, it's getting late and we have a long drive ahead of us."

"Don't you mean _I _have a long drive ahead of us?" Em asked jokingly. "I'm the one who's going to be doing the driving," he said as he moved to stand next to Rosalie. He turned to face us and then we heard the resounding smack she delivered to the back of his head. "Ouch baby, it was a joke," Em whined and we all busted out laughing.

We all made our way to the garage; grabbing our bags as we entered it. We packed each of the cars and surprisingly Alice was able to fit everything in her. She bought almost another suitcase worth of clothes; amazing. We each took our turns saying goodbye to mom and dad. When it came time for Bella to say bye, my mother went to her and pulled her into a hug. Bella was surprised by the gesture at first but then she returned the hug, closing her eyes. I could see she was fighting back the tears; her chin was giving it away.

My mother pulled back and grabbed Bella's face in between her hands. "Please be safe and take care of yourself. Make sure you come home with this group on the weekends," she said as she motioned over to us. "I know your father lives here too, so it will give you a chance to visit him too." Bella nodded, but then my mother leaned over to whisper something in her ear; she smiled and blushed. My mother leaned back and smiled. _What the hell did she say?_

Bella turned to get in the car but looked up at me quickly. My mother must have said something about me to her because the moment our eyes locked, she blushed again. She lowered her eyes and jumped in the car. I looked over at my mother and she just smiled, but that damn all-knowing gleam in her eyes said it all. _What is it with this family? _ I groaned inwardly. Everyone got in their cars and one by one, exited the garage, waving to my parents as we left.

_I can honestly say I don't regret anything that happened this weekend. I'm glad everyone now knows what happened with James. I finally stopped fighting with myself and allowed the chains on my heart to break. I took a step in a direction I thought I never wanted to go in again. I only hope for my heart and sanity it was a step in the right direction, only time would tell. As I looked over at my best friend sitting next to me, who has a grin the size of Texas on his face, I know that this is going to be one __**long **__ass drive back to Seattle. Fuck!_

***Twilightgirl223**

**A/N – Alight, let me know what you think…good, bad, need improvement. You know I love your feedback guys…hit me up with some!**


	20. Chapter 16  Moving Forward?

***Walks in, covering her head from any and all projectiles. I'm soooooo sorry for the long delay. I have a couple legitimate excuses, but honestly, nothing should have kept me away **_**this**_** long. Please forgive me, I hope I haven't lost my faithful readers. ~on my knees, begging for forgiveness!~***

**C/N: I hope this chapter does you guys justice. I know it was supposed to be from BPOV, but I feel Edward had quite a little bit more to say. I honestly seem to get into his head better than I do Bella's. So I'll see how the rest of the story pans out. This isn't as long as the last chapter, but there is so much going on in everyone's head that I felt it needed a little clarification. This chapter will give you a bit of the gang. Jasper and Edward have quite the serious talk, and there will be a little bit more of **_**Bella and Edward**_**, *wide grin*. **

********Dark topics ahead and a teeny bit of fluff*******(Spousal and child abuse mentioned – if this is a tough topic for you, you might not want to read. Doesn't go into gruesome details, but enough to leave to the imagination)**

**I hope you enjoy. See you at the bottom! Oh and thank you everyone…I made it over 100 with your comments/feedback. THANK YOU…it means so much to me!**

Chapter 16

EPOV

Silence. That was what the first hour and a half of the drive back to Seattle consisted of. I honestly thought Jasper would have started on me the moment we left the driveway, but no, he sat there staring between me and the highway. I knew when he was looking at me, because I felt the holes being drilled in to my head when he did. But I was still met with nothing but silence. It was killing me, and I think it was his plan all along; he was waiting for me to crack. _Fucker!_

I finally couldn't take it any longer. It was eating away at me and knowing him, he could have held out all the way to Seattle, but I couldn't. When I looked over at, he was wearing his all-knowing smirk on his lips and his eyebrow was arched in challenge.

I broke. He knew me all too well. "What?" I growled. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Don't give me that, Jas. I know you have _something_ to say, just fucking say it already!"

He snorted. "Defensive, much?"

_I'm gonna kill him. _ "NO!" I spat. "I just know you…you were just going to sit there and stare at me the entire time, and not say one damn word."

"What would you like for me to say, Edward? It's not like _you_ would have told me anything. You pretty much dodged Emmett, even though I know he was goading you before we left. I figured you would say something when you were ready," he said, calmly.

I groaned. "Jazz, look, so much has happened this week, my mind is on an emotional rollercoaster and I _need_ to figure everything out. It's not like I am trying to be dismissive, but damn, right now it's too much."

"I get it, man. I can feel the emotions rolling off of you in huge waves. I do have to say though, after the talk with everyone this weekend, you seemed to lose a lot of the negative vibes you were always giving off. That's a huge step."

I exhaled deeply through my nose. I did feel a little lighter after our talk. I had carried all those memories around with me for so long, it was like they were ingrained in to my very existence. Talking about what happened and how I felt to everyone was difficult for me, but cathartic in a way.

"Yeah it was…but very helpful and I am very thankful to all of you for your understanding and support; it means the world to me. I should have told all of your guys sooner, but I was afraid and I needed to make sure that everyone was safe. Now that you know what James is capable of, you and Em can help me keep the girls safe from him," I said, taking a quick glance over at him - he was staring straight at me, and what I saw, kind of made my breath get caught in my throat. This very calm, serene guy I've known all my life looked like he could murder someone. _I could swear that I heard him growl. Whoa!_ "You all right, Jazz?"

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, taking a few deep breaths – like he was trying to collect himself. He exhaled deeply before he spoke. "I'm fine," he muttered and I raised an eyebrow in response. "Fine, fine…I'm not alright." He huffed. "Knowing that James did _more_ than that shit with Tanya and you…really pisses me off, man. You don't **ever** disrespect a woman like that. I want to find him and kill him myself, rip him to pieces."

_Well hot damn. I have honestly never seen Jasper lose all control like this, even when it came to Alice. He's kind of terrifying. _

"I know what you mean. It took all I could to not beat the shit out of him after he did it, but after his threat, I couldn't take any chances. Plus, his buddies would have had my ass in a hot second."

There was another round of silence that followed after our conversation. I knew Jasper needed a few moments to calm down; I'd never seen him so rattled about something, but I least I knew he had my back and I was thankful for it. I heard a chuckle come from him after a while and I looked over at him in confusion.

"You know, that little conversation we just had, albeit serious, was a diversionary tactic to keep me from asking about the main topic at hand," he said, teasingly.

I groaned, rubbing my hand over my face in annoyance. "What main topic?" I asked, trying to feign ignorance.

He snorted. "Don't even try to play it off, man. I've know you way too many years, you can't lie worth a shit."

I felt my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning white. "I don't know what you are talking about…you gonna clue me in on the subject of this topic I seem to keep evading?" I asked as I stared hard, out on to the highway.

I heard a laugh guffaw burst out from Jasper's side of the car, it actually made me jump slightly. "Seriously?" he choked out.

"What?" I growled.

"Oh…I'm gonna have fun with this. Payback's a bitch," he said, smugly.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I didn't even have to ask, but I was going to draw it out as much as I could. He turned in his seat to face me directly and I squirmed just a tad in mine. _This isn't good._

"So, you really have nothing to say…you're gonna play this game…all right, it's so on!"

"Jasp…" I started, but he cut me off.

"Nope…you have _nowhere _to go. You and I are stuck in this car for another two hours. We are going to talk, but first let me say this; if you hurt her in _any _way…you will have quite a few of us after your ass to pound it in to the pavement. I can speak on behalf of the others confidently because they have grown to care for her like she was family, including your parents."

I groaned. "I know…I know…don't you think I already know this? What do you want me to say? I can't stop thinking about her all right…she has somehow breached _all_ the walls I built up after Tanya, which I honestly thought was impossible. I told you before; I wasn't looking for anything in regards to women. Tanya totally screwed with my mind, body and soul – I was damaged goods. Then, she came along and my whole world tilted on its axis; all in the span of a fucking week," I ranted.

"Calm down, Edward," he said and instantly I felt a wave of calm wash over me, my body began to relax. "I didn't mean to get you going like that, but turnabout is fair play. Remember this when you question me about Alice again," he said lightly, jokingly. _Fucker._

"Prick," I muttered and he laughed. "It's not funny, Jazz. I'm honestly afraid about this thing; whatever you want to call it, with Bella is. I'm afraid that I'm going to use what Tanya did to me as a way to back out or destroy what could be a good thing with her. In my mind, _all_ women are deceitful liars, but in my heart, I _know_ Bella isn't like that. I'm working on it…I just don't want it to backfire and lose her." I felt myself getting worked up again.

"Edward…" He stopped and I looked over at him. "I don't know how to say this without coming across too crass, but you seriously need to get your head out of your ass. I_ know_ that Tanya hurt you." I chuckled sarcastically. "Edward," he warned, "I saw what it did to you…I heard from your family what it was doing to you, and to _them_." I cringed at his words; I knew all _too_ well what I did to my family and friends. "But…you have to realize that _we_ are here to help you with _anything_ that you might be going through…you have always been there for us…please, let us help you now."

I sighed. "I know you guys are here for me…and I thank you from the depths on my soul for it…it was just my stupid ignorance and stubbornness that helped me push you guys away. I **won't** do that again, promise. But, I'm still afraid of what I might do."

"Don't worry; we won't let you fuck it up. We've got your back, and we won't be afraid to knock on it if you do something stupid." He laughed, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

I chuckled. "Thanks, Jazz…for everything."

"No problem, anytime," he said. He was silent for a few minutes and still hadn't moved from his spot in his seat, which meant he was still staring at me. _Now what?_

"What?" I asked, looking over at him. He was really freaking me out now.

He smirked. _Oh shit._ "Soooooo…what did you guys do when you went on your little excursion?"

I shrugged. "Nothing much…we just talked about what happened and I thanked her again for being here for me."

"Uh huh, what else?"

"What do you mean, what else?"

He laughed, loudly. "Don't give me that, bro…you two were 'glowing' when you got back." He emphasized glowing with air quotes. _Damn him._ "Not to mention, the lust radiating off of the both of you was enough to make even my blood pressure spike." He continued to laugh.

"Fuck off, Jazz." He doubled over in laughter. _I hate that he is able to pick up on emotions so easily. _"Cut that shit out now…you're not helping to make this any easier."

The laughing stopped immediately, well, kind of…he was trying I had to give him that. "Sorry," he choked out. "Honestly, I didn't mean anything by it." I raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Okay, maybe I meant it a little bit." He snorted.

"Fucker," I growled under my breath.

"So, what happened…seriously?" He asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door.

I sighed. "Seriously…we talked, and…other things…" I trailed off as I remembered that moment.

"O-o-ka-ay…and…," he said, waving his hand to keep me talking.

"And…nothing…it's not something I am comfortable talking about right now…it would feel like I was disrespecting her, talking about her behind her back, you know? It's all still so new and I don't know where it's heading, but I know where I would like it to go."

"Okay, I get that…but can I ask, who initiated it?" he asked, curiously.

I turned to look out the window, thank God it was dark outside because I am pretty sure he would have been able to see the bright red blush burning my face right now. But I think my silence told him what he needed to know.

"Oh. My. God. Seriously? You made the first move? Wow, I'm shocked."

I turned to look at him. "Why do you seem so surprised?" His eyebrows shot to his hair line and he smirked. "Never mind, don't answer that…I know why you said that."

"Well, honestly, I'm not really surprised…you did try to kiss her last week, but she stopped you…"

I cut him off, not even realizing what I was about to say. "Well, she didn't stop me _this _time…" And then it hit me. "Oh shit." It was too late; it was out there…I gave him all he needed to know. "Just let it go, Jasper, forget I even said that," I pleaded.

"Don't worry, Edward, I won't say anything; it's between Bella and you. But, can I say one thing?" I nodded, hesitantly. "I'm happy for you…I was very worried about you before, so I am very happy to see you move on, and that lil darlin' is an amazing girl."

"That she is, that she is…and thank you."

"You're very welcome, my friend," he said, sincerely.

I turned to look at him with a devious smirk making its way across my lips. Now it was time to turn the tables. The look of shock was immediate on Jasper's face.

"Now…it's your turn…"

"Uh uh," he said, cutting me off. He shifted in his seat, turning back to face the windshield.

I chuckled, evilly. "You think you're going to get off that easily. You started this shit."

He growled. "As payback, you prick," he spat.

"Oh come on, Jazz. _Turnabout is fair play_," I said, turning his words back on him.

"Hell no, I was getting back at you for last week…but it was done out of fun and concern...not torment. You already know how I feel about Alice, but I **will** figure it out on my own," he said, forcefully.

"Why? I know you are afraid, you told me as such, but man, you will seriously lose your chance if you don't make a move soon. I know Alice, and she doesn't have the nerve to do it herself. I would fall over from shock if _she_ made the first move. Jazz, you are the calmest man I know, but that all falls to the roadside when it comes to Alice. Are you really _that_ terrified?"

He was tapping his fingers on the top of his legs - Nervous? Annoyed? What the hell?

He sighed; the tapping stopped and he spoke. "I am literally petrified of going up to Alice, to tell her how I feel about her."

"Jasper, it's only Alice, our little pixie…why are you petrified to talk to her? I don't get it."

He exhaled deeply. "Well, I guess I am kind of in the same boat as you, but for different reasons. I'm afraid that I will do something to hurt her and I don't _ever_ want to do that, especially with you and Emmett as her brothers."

"How could you hurt her?" I asked; my curiosity seriously piqued.

"Well, you know my parents got divorced a couple years back, right?" he asked, looking over at me. I nodded. "There's more to the reason they _why_ they live in different states, and also a reason for mine and Rosie's attitudes." _Oh, now I am seriously concerned._

"I've only seen you father a hand full of times over the last couple of years, and never with your mother around. What happened?"

He took a deep breath before he began. "It started back when Rosie and I were around seven years old. I woke up late one night to my parents fighting, or should I say my father _screaming_ at my mother. I got nervous and ran back into my room. Rosie must have woken up, because she came into my room a couple minutes later and we huddle together in my bed, under the covers. It went on like that for the next couple of years, but soon after it escalated. My father," he sneered, "started throwing things around, breaking objects, and started…hitting my mother."

I gasped. "Oh damn, Jazz, I had no idea." They always seemed like the loving couple growing up, like my mom and dad.

He laughed, cynically. "No one knew, they hid it very well. The marks he left were where no one could see them. Only Rosalie and I knew what happened behind closed doors."

_Oh God._ I had to ask. "Did…did he ever…hit… you and Rose?"

"Not until later, when we were older. I was sixteen and I was home from school, sick from something, I can't remember. My father came home from work early; Rosalie was still at school. He was drunk off his ass," he said, angrily. "He started in on mom; she was in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner. He told her that he was laid off from his job, blaming _her_ for it. How the hell can you blame a woman who stays at home to take care of it and his children, for losing his job?" He stopped for moment, took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles. "Anyway, when he started to hit her, I jumped up – I couldn't take it anymore - I ran into the kitchen and tried to yank him off of my mother. He pushed me back into the wall, knocking the air from my lungs. He turned back around to go after my mother again, but I got my strength back and ran into him, knocking him to the ground. He tried to kick me off of him, but I punched him his side so hard I cracked his rib. That was the _last _time he ever hit me. My mother called the police that day and he spent three days in jail, a 'cooling down' period as the police called it."

"Damn, man, what happened after that?"

"It was _peaceful_ for a few months. Rose never found out what happened that day, or so I thought. I figured she thought dad just skipped town for a few days, but when the shit hit the fan again, she told me that she knew dad had been in jail, though she thought it was for hitting mom. I told her that mom called the police that day because dad was fighting with me. Anyway, later on that year, my father took full advantage of the fact that neither of us where there when he went after our mother. We came home to the house trashed; things were broken and thrown about the rooms. It looked like we were burglarized. We called out for our parents; there was no response. We ran to each room and finally ended up in my parent's bedroom. Rose got there first, and I heard her scream; I was just down the hall. I flew to their room and was floored by what I saw…"he choked back a sob.

_Oh. My. God. _"You don't have to say anymore, Jazz, please. I'm just glad everything turned out okay. Seriously, man, relax…you don't have to tell me anything else. I understand." _I've never in my life seen my best friend cry and I had no clue what to do._ I pulled off to the side of the highway, putting the car in park and turned to look at my friend, my brother.

How could I have missed this? I couldn't imagine living through what he and Rosalie have. It kind of explained the reason for Rose's tough exterior, never letting anyone walk all over her. It also explained Jazz' calm nature, knowing what his father was capable of – he could possibly be capable of. Now I knew why he was scared, terrified if you will, of getting with Alice – or any girl for that matter. I had never seen him with a girlfriend growing up, and _this_ was the reason why.

"Jazz, you alright? I'm sorry about all this…I should have kept my mouth shut about you and Alice. I never imagined that this was the reason behind your reluctance about her. I'm truly sorry."

He sniffled. "It's alright, Edward. You had no idea; I've never told _anyone_ about that part of my past," he said, looking over at me. He chuckled lightly. "I told you we were kind of in the same boat…your past was keeping you from moving forward…so was mine. Now you know why I am so scared to act on my feelings…I don't want my father coming through me, and hurt someone I _truly_ care about. It would make more sense to just leave her alone, to let her find someone who can give her anything and everything she needs – to worship her like the beautiful woman she is."

"Jasper, I know you're terrified that you might become like your father, but that is bullshit…you don't have to let it be that way…I've _never_ seen you lose control like _that._ I was a little taken aback by the murderous look you were giving me when I was talking about James earlier, but I attributed that to keeping the girls safe from that fucker."

"It was, honestly…but you have to understand, that hatred and anger are part of who I am, because of my father."

"It doesn't mean you have to act on them," I said matter-of-factly.

"I know, but I don't want to take that chance," he said, regretfully.

I sighed. "I didn't want to either, and I still have some reservations…but I don't want to be alone in this world anymore. Family is family, they will always be there…but to let someone in, truly in to your heart – giving them all your love, is one of the best things that could happen if you allow it." I couldn't believe what I just said – those words actually came out of my mouth. _What the hell just happened?_

"Love?" I heard him ask.

"Huh? What?" I asked, surprised.

"You said, love…do you love Bella?"

"What? No! No way…" I stammered.

He chuckled. "Um…anxious much?"

"No…I was just shocked by your question. I won't lie, I care for her deeply, but I'm nowhere near…love." _Okay, who am I trying to convince here?_ He looked at me skeptically. "What?"

"I don't believe you…"

I cut him off. "What is there to believe? I'm not ready… for…for… _that_," I sputtered, anxiously, raking my hands through my hair.

He sighed. "Dude, seriously…chill out…I didn't mean to offend you, but, what I am _feeling_ from you is more than what you are _telling_ me."

"Well, what about you…do you love my sister?" I asked, smugly, because I sure as hell already knew that answer but I wanted to hear it from him. Four Goddamn years of him pining away for my sister, there was no way that he didn't love her.

I heard a sharp intake of air from him and had to bite back the laughter. Now was not the time for that shit.

"Well?" I asked again in annoyance.

He dropped his head, looking down at his lap. "Yes," he whispered so low I almost missed it.

"Okay then…take a chance…I did," I said, sincerely.

His head snapped up to mine. "So you _do_ love her?"

I groaned, leaning back against my door with my left arm on the steering wheel and my right arm over the back of the seat. "I don't know yet…maybe…I dunno…there are a lot of emotions running rampant in my mind, fighting for dominance, I need to work through them before I can know for sure, honest. You'll be the first to know once I've made that decision, well Bella first, then you." I chuckled. "But seriously, talk to Alice…let her know how you feel, about _everything_ and see what she has to say. She may surprise you. Don't give up your life because you are afraid of becoming like your father. Sometimes I wished I was like _my_ father, then maybe I wouldn't have done the stupid shit I did when I was younger or been witness to something very heinous. I wouldn't have been so blind when it came to Tanya. I would have seen her for the vindictive bitch she is."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Edward, and I should take the same advice." He snorted. "Man, we both have a lot to get past don't we?"

I laughed lightly. "Yeah, I guess we do. But I've got your back, if you've got mine."

"One hundred and fifty percent guarantee, bro…always."

We both mocked punched each other's arms and then bumped fists, manly things – had to shake off the negativity lingering in the atmosphere. After a couple minutes, I turned to face the front, put the car in drive and pulled back out on to the highway. _Wow. What a fucking conversation we just had. Who would have thought he hid _that _for so long? He's my best friend, and I never knew. Never in a million years would I have thought he had demons like me that he was holding on to._

The rest of the drive flew by with no touch of drama, well not too much. We reminisced about our childhood, what we looked forward to this year, our music and how we were going to handle James. We arrived in Seattle a little under an hour after I pulled back on to the highway and it was time to meet up with the rest of the gang.

**~*MoTH*~**

We pulled up to the campus and I noticed Alice's car right away. I looked around to see if Emmett stayed, but I didn't see his Jeep. Jasper and I grabbed out things and headed to our room. Along the way, I texted Alice to let her know we made it.

As soon as I had opened the door, my phone rang. "Hey, Pix, what's up?"

"Not much, bro. You guys just get in?" she asked, surprised.

I threw my bag on my bed and plopped down in my chair, exhaling loudly. "Yeah, we did…had a little bit of a delay, no biggie." I acted nonchalantly; no need to worry my sister.

Of course, I should have known, she would have picked up on something I said. "You guys alright?" she asked, concern.

"Yeah, I promise…it's all good. So, where's Em?"

"Oh, he and Rosalie went home to drop their stuff off and change. They're coming back to meet up for a late night snack, dinner…whatever you wanna call it…you two game?"

"Hold on I'll ask Jasper," I said, looking over to where Jasper was, perched on the edge of his bed. "Hey, Jazz, you want to go grab something with the gang in a few? Rose and Em headed home to drop off their things and they're heading back shortly."

Alice cut in, grabbing my attention, "They're here now…Bella is letting them in as we speak."

"Oh, okay, hold on…" I looked back over at Jasper. "Jazz?" He sighed. "You don't have to go if you're not up to it."

He shook his head. "No…I'm fine…honest…yeah, I'll go."

I nodded, turning my focus back to the phone. "Alice, yeah we'll be there in a few."

"Okay, see you soon," Alice squealed.

"Alright, later…" I said, ending the call, throwing my phone on my bed.

I looked at Jasper. "You sure you're up to this, man? You really don't have to go. I know a lot went down on the drive back here, you could stay and relax…prepare for tomorrow's classes."

I sighed again, shaking his head. "I'm not going to go in to hiding because of what happened…are you? You pretty much relayed almost last three years of your life to a room of people on Saturday, but I don't see you staying behind and relaxing. No…I'm good, fine…it was actually a little lifting to have said something to someone."

"I know what you mean, but I am not _someone_, I'm your best friend. I'm glad you said something…I was honestly thrown a little by what you said because was I sooooo not expecting that, but it allows me to understand you a little more."

"Thanks," he said with a slight smile.

"Okay, enough with the heavy…let's head over to Alice's room," I said, jumping up from my chair, motioning to the door.

He laughed, smiling wider than before, as he stood up. "Alright, let's hit it."

He walked next to me and I clasped my hand over his shoulder. "As Bella has told me numerous times, I'm telling you - Everything is going to be okay."

He laughed, pushing me away. "You're quoting Bella now? Man, you're such a pussy…"

I stood there, shocked. "Seriously, what the fuck?"

He rolled his eyes, laughing. "Come on, I was messin' with ya. It was getting to emotional yet again. I can't handle all that sometimes, especially when _I'm _involved; it's too much. Sometimes I need a pressure release, and laughter is always the best form of release."

"Fine," I muttered, walking to the door. "Prick."

I heard him laughing as I walked out of the room, with him following behind.

**~*MoTH*~**

We got to the girls' room a few minutes later; everyone was waiting around talking. When Alice opened the door, she had a big grin plastered on her face. I looked over at Bella, who was avoiding all forms of acknowledging my presence, with a wicked blush from the top of her hairline down to where her chest met her shirt top. _I wonder if it forms all over her body._ She turned away from my general direction and started chatting with Rose and Em. I turned back to Alice, and the grin got even bigger, if that was even possible. _All-knowing, evil pixie._ _I wonder if Bella told Alice about what happened in the meadow. _That would explain Alice and Bella's behavior. I narrowed my eyes at Alice, and she giggled. _Yep._

We all left to the girls' room a couple minutes later and headed to the college district. We found a place to hang out, talk and eat. We discussed what we were going to do throughout the week, making sure that everyone was escorted on campus by someone. No one was to be alone. We stayed at the place for a little over two hours and since we had class in the morning, we decided to head back to the dorms with Em and Rose heading to their apartment.

After we pulled into the parking lot, I decided to head off Bella and see what was going on. During our little outing, she barely said two sentences to me. Was she avoiding me? Did we…_I_ move to fast for her? Was she regretting what we did? God, I hoped not. I was finally allowing myself to move on, with someone I actually _felt_ something different for and she was avoiding me.

I jumped out of my car and quickly walked over to Alice's car. Bella was just getting out of the car when she looked up at me and stopped in mid-step.

"Hey," I said, airily.

She looked down and back, closing the door to the car. "Hi," she whispered.

I reached out to touch her arm, and she gasped at the contact. I felt that jolt of electricity surge through my fingertips again. _Where in the hell is that coming from?_ "Is everything okay?" She nodded slowly. "Are you sure, because you seem to be avoiding me."

Her head shot up, her eyes widened and she licked her lips. I couldn't help but to follow the trail her tongue took. _Damn._

"Y-yes, everything is fine. I'm not avoiding you, honest."

I stared in her eyes trying to find any hint of dishonesty, there was none, just nervousness , fear, concern, and hope. "Oookay, then what happened tonight?"

"What do you mean," she asked, confused.

"Well, first I get to your room and you avoided making any kind of contact with me. Then at our little pow wow, you said all of ten words to me. Did I do something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No…you didn't," she said, nervously.

"Did Alice say something to you?" She suddenly became very tense. "She did, didn't she? What did she say?"

"Uh…well, she didn't really _say_ anything as opposed to _asking_ something," she said, cryptically.

I narrowed my eyes at her and she gasped. "Okay then, what did she _ask_?" I was getting a little upset. If my sister did anything to make her uncomfortable, then I would have to personally kick her meddling little ass, because I have a feeling that little Miss Tinkerbell hounded Bella about what may have happened between her and I in the meadow. Alice can be quite the conniving little vixen when she needs to be.

Bella looked down at the street and I could see that she was beginning to shake a little. "Um…I hope you won't be upset…I, well…she asked…uh...um…," she muttered quickly; so fast I almost didn't catch it. I snorted, and Bella's head slowly rose up to meet my gaze. Her body physically relaxed, the fear and concern was gone from her eyes. "You're not mad?" she asked, surprised.

"No…I'm not mad. I know how my sister can be. When she puts her mind to it, she usually gets what she wants. Jasper did the same thing to me on the drive back here."

She exhaled, deeply. "I wasn't sure what…how you wanted to handle what did happen…if you wanted to keep it to ourselves or…" she trailed off, looking away from me again. I hated when she did that.

"How do _you_ feel about what happened Sunday?" She looked back at me. "Do you regret an.."

She cut me off. "No, I don't…do you?" The fear was back in her eyes again.

I shook my head. "No, I don't…I truly don't. Just don't let Alice pressure you for information. She can be a little much sometimes." I laughed.

Bella giggled, I liked the sound of it…a lot. "You think?"

I snorted. "Uh yeah, try putting up with it for eighteen years," I said, sarcastically.

"But you love me anyways," Alice said, as she walked up behind me.

I jumped, not realizing she was there and turned back to look at her. "Says who?"

Alice ignored me, looking at Bella. "You okay, chica?"

Bella chuckled. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Good, then let's head in. It's late and we don't need to bring on any trouble right now," Alice said, pointing toward the dorm buildings.

"Yeah," Bella said.

"Okay, sure." I followed.

We walked the girls back to their room, and then headed back to ours. We dressed for bed, got our things ready for our classes tomorrow, and then climbed in to bed. Jasper and I confirmed again who we were picking up and dropping off tomorrow, then called it a night; it had been a really long day.

I thought I would be able to fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow, but no. My mind wouldn't shut off, not surprising though, it constantly wanted to relive the day Bella and I spent at my meadow; our talk, just spending time together…then, the kiss. It always came back to the kiss – the feel of her lips, her touches…her moan. My body reacted to the memory of the sound of her moan. _Oh God._ I felt the tingles work their way up my spine, goosebumps rose all over my skin and well, _it_ twitched, when the sound echoed in my mind again. I groaned. This was not going to help me sleep, as the adrenaline coursed through my body. God, how I wanted her that day, but I was _nowhere_ near ready for anything like that and I don't think she was either. I was just coming to terms that I actually cared for her, seeing as I was hell bent on never wanting to _be_ in a relationship with a girl again. Jasper asked if I loved her, and I was honest with him - I had no idea. There were strong feelings the moment I saw her, but I was a jaded individual. Burnt beyond all recognition, damaged, scarred for life.

But her mere presence slowly chipped away at the thick walls I had built up. I didn't know if it was something that could be broken all the way down, as I was still leery of all women. Bella didn't seem to be like that, but it had only been a little over a week since I had seen here. She'd been there through one of the most difficult times in my life, she didn't have to be, but she was. She was practically a complete stranger to me.

What did that say about me? The first girl to enter my life after Tanya and I let her through the barriers, no questions asked. I tried to keep a distance, which was laughable at best. She had me hook, line and sinker without even trying. _Damn. _

I rolled over after a while to try and get some sleep. That wasn't the smartest thing to do, I was still somewhat hard and it wasn't exactly comfortable.

I guess I had finally fallen asleep as I awoke to a blaring, high-pitched alarm on my phone. I groaned getting out bed. I started the coffee and went in to take a shower. When I was done, I came out fixed a cup of coffee and got dressed. I grabbed my things and headed out the door to go get the girls. This was going to be an interesting start to a long week.

**~*MoTH*~**

Most of the week passed uneventfully thank God. We pretty much made sure everyone was safe and kept up with our classes. Now that the classes truly began, the work started to pile up.

This _thing_ between Bella and I hasn't moved forward since Sunday. I was honestly not sure from what side it was stemming from. There was no awkwardness between us; it all seemed very casual. At least I thought it was, but I could be mistaken. I don't want to push myself on her in any way, but I didn't want to give up. Hopefully when we all go to my parents' house for the weekend, Bella and I can talk again, without any undue influence - *cough* Alice. Ever since we had gotten back from mom and dad's, she has been meddling, trying to bring us together all the time. Though I wasn't complaining, since it gave me time to spend with Bella, but we were _never _alone – it was aggravating.

Ever since our talk on the way back to Seattle, I had back off trying to get Jasper and Alice together. I felt back for _my_ meddling after everything he told me, but I wouldn't give up on them.

Thursday afternoon, after everyone was done with classes, except for Em and Rose – they had night classes, we decided to get an early dinner and figure out when we were heading back home. We ended up going to a Thai place close to the campus, just in case Emmett and Rose decided to join us later. Bella sat next to me; Jasper and Alice at each end of the table. I rolled my eyes, fighting back a groan. Stubborn.

About an hour after we arrived, we were still sitting back, chilling and having a good time, until _he_ walked through the door. My body tensed instantly. He walked in searching the place for something, or someone. Bella must have noticed my reaction because she placed her hand on my arm to grab my attention. I looked down at her, smiling, hoping she wouldn't think anything of it.

I knew it wouldn't last for long because I heard Alice gasp and Bella's head snapped over to her. The look of pure fear in Alice's eyes put Bella on edge. It was coming off of her in waves. Bella saw the direction of Alice's gaze and began to turn around to look, I tried to stop her, but it was too late. The moment she saw James, her body began to tremble.

I put my arm around her, pulling her close to my body. Jasper got up and sat down next to Alice, pulling her chair up next to him. I was a little taken aback by his movement, but hey, I wasn't going to complain. We needed to make sure that the girls were safe from that asshole.

I turned back to where James was and he was still looking around the restaurant. He hadn't seen us yet, but the moment he did, a huge grin broke out across his face. I felt Bella's body tense further and the trembling increased, which only made my hold on her tighten.

James began to take a step in our direction, but his attention was diverted elsewhere. He glanced at a section near us, and his whole demeanor changed in an instant. Gone was the arrogant stance and devious grin, which was quickly replaced by surprise and trepidation. He moved to head toward that section without another glance in our direction. What the fuck was that? I looked back at Jasper with a _"What the hell?"_ look on my face. He was as shocked and surprised as I was, shrugging his shoulder.

I looked down at Bella. She had curled into my chest, but the shaking had subsided somewhat. "You okay?" I asked her softly. She didn't answer for right away, but she looked up at me and I had my answer - fear, worry, and concern were swimming around in those dark chocolate eyes of hers. I pulled my right hand from around her and brought it up, cupping her cheek. "You don't have to be afraid, Bella, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." She nodded slowly.

I sighed and looked back at Alice and Jasper. "You okay there, Sis?"

"I'm okay now…I was taken by surprise when I saw him," she said shakily.

I snorted. "You and me both…you and me both." I looked at Jasper. "You good?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I was just as shocked as you guys were. I was hoping to not run into him any time soon, but…" he trailed off, looking over at the other section.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I said, following his gaze. "You see him?" Bella tensed up again; I tightened my hold on her.

"No…it's blocked by the damn greenery," he said, agitated.

"Ali, text Emmett and see where he's at."

She pulled her phone out and started typing away. I looked down at Bella again; she seemed to be a little bit calmer, her body relaxing slowly.

Alice's phone chimed. "He said he's about to get Rose and they were going to head this way."

I nodded in response. Good. Hopefully James would still be here when they got here. I wondered who he was sitting with; the drastic change in his attitude when he saw them threw me through a loop. It was a complete one-eighty from the James that I knew.

The four of us carried on a lite conversation while we waited for Emmett and Rosalie to show up. Thankfully, we hadn't seen James since he had walked through the door. As soon as Em walked in and saw us, his eyebrows furrowed and his chest puffed out, like he was ready to tackle an army. They quickly joined our table and we filled them in, letting them both know that James was here. Emmett rose from his seat instantly, looking around the restaurant.

"Sit down, Em, he's in the other section," I said, pointing behind me. "It's blocked by the damn bushes and we can't see where he's at."

He sat down hesitantly. I knew he wanted to rush over there and take James out, but we didn't need that right now.

He looked over at Alice. "You okay there, lil pixie?" he asked, smiling.

She huffed. "Yes, Em. I'm fine. You know I hate when you guys call me that," she whined; Emmett and I laughed.

"I know…just trying to make it a little lighter here, that's all," he said, jokingly. He turned to look at Bella, his face softened a little. "How are you, little one?"

She was still curled up in my arms since I hadn't let go of her the moment James walked in the place, but she turned to look up at him. "I'm fine," she whispered. Emmett raised his eyes quickly to meet mine in question; I shrugged.

I pulled her closer to me. I had no answer for him. After a few moments I heard a low sigh come from her. Emmett smiled and I raised a brow curiously, the smile grew into a smirk. I rolled my eyes, but then nodded my head in Alice and Jasper's direction.

Emmett looked over at them and snorted, shaking his head knowingly. I smiled back at him and then mouthed, _"About damn time."_

He nodded and mouthed, _"Oh yeah."_

It was nice to see Jasper and Alice together, albeit it was in a moment of protection and comfort, but it was nice none-the-less. Hopefully, they could move in the right direction in the future.

Emmett leaned over slightly. "So, do you want me to go over there and see what he's doing?" he whispered, loudly.

Bella tensed slightly and I sighed. "No, I don't want this to get any worse than it already is. Just leave him alone, and hopefully he will return the courtesy."

"Alright, bro, it's your call," he said.

"Thanks."

"Are we ready to head out?" Jasper asked. We turned to look over at him. "There's been enough excitement for today; I think it's time to call it a night."

We all agreed and quickly left the restaurant. It took everything I had not to look over in the other section. I really wanted to know what, or who, got James' attention that made him totally forget we were there. We made it back to campus, ending up in mine and Jasper's room.

"So, we know who is going with whom tomorrow, no issues right?" Em asked, looking around the room. We all nodded in agreement. "Let's pray there is no drama between now and the time we leave to go home tomorrow."

"Agreed," I said.

"Right,"Jazz said.

"Thank God," Alice chimed in. "Home."

I leaned lightly into Bella; she was sitting next to me on my bed. "You okay?" I whispered. She shrugged. "Bella?" I was concerned. Did the run-in with James do a number on her? She stood up to him the last time, what had changed?

She looked up at me hesitantly. The moment her eyes locked on mine, I noticed it, something I honestly wasn't expecting from her. Defeat. What the hell? I stood up, taking her with me. She looked at me questioningly. I nodded toward the door.

"We'll be back in a few minutes," I said, not even looking at them. I could already sense the big ass grin on Em's face without even trying. _Dumbass_. He had it all wrong, but I would let him think whatever he wanted. I grasped Bella's hand and pulled her outside with me. The minute the door closed, I turned to look at her and saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I had no idea what to do for her. All I really wanted to do was take her into my arms and will whatever was going on with her away. She shook her head and walked over to the railing. "Don't do that…don't shut me out. After everything you did for me, let me be there for you, please. Tell me what's going on," I pleaded.

She turned around, leaning up against the railing; her head was down looking at the concrete, her hands grasping the top of the metal. She slowly raised her head, I could see her eyes were still watery, but she was holding the tears at bay. She opened her mouth, then shut it and then opened it again, nothing came out. She still hadn't looked at me. I bowed down a little to capture her gaze, when I did, her eyes locked on mine.

"Please." I tried again.

She sighed. "I…I can't believe I let _him_ do that t0 me again." I was confused…do what again? She must have seen the confusion on my face. "I swore to myself that I would never let him have that much control over me again." _Ah. Now I understand._ "The moment I saw him, I reverted to that scared little girl he met up with those first couple of days," she growled. The contempt was rolling off of her.

"You can't let that get to you." She scoffed. I chuckled. "I know…I get it…I'm one to talk. I let him get to me for years. But…I'm much stronger now…I have a great support system," I said, nodding in her direction. She smiled slightly. "Thank you by the way, but seriously…if it weren't for you and my family, I would probably still be the insufferable asshole I was months ago. I still have a long road ahead, but I'm workin on it."

She sighed again, plopping down on the ground; I followed. "The first time he met up with me when I was alone, I was petrified**. **He exuded this kind of negative feeling that made my insides crawl. My father is the chief of police, he taught me how to defend myself under any circumstances and damn it, I just shut down whenever James comes near me." The anger was coming through every word she spoke. I knew exactly where she was coming from. "I made a promise that I wouldn't allow myself to lose control like that again, and what happened the moment I laid eyes on him…I freaked out."

I took her hand and she went to pull it back, but I only grasped in tighter. "You can't beat yourself up like that, Bella. James is one sick individual, he emanates evil. I would hate to see anything happen to you because of him. I've seen what he can do and can only imagine what else he is capable of."

"I know…but honestly, I'm just angry at myself…embarrassed that you had to…"

I cut her off. "Embarrassed? Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "I was embarrassed…that you had to 'protect' me." She used air-quotes to emphasize _protect_. "You shouldn't have to do that, you know. I should be able to take care of myself."

I sighed. "I didn't mind, Bella. I…I feel…very...protective of you. I can't explain it, but I do. I don't want you to feel embarrassed or angry by that. I would do _anything_ to make sure you were safe."

She gasped. "Edward…"

"Don't…please…I _need_ to be able to keep you safe…I _want _to, you're important to me."

Her eyes widened, so many emotions were running behind those dark, brown eyes of her - anger, fear, awe, concern, joy, worry…hope. She stared intently at me, like she was searching for something deep within me. She might have found what she was looking for, because after a few silent, intense moments…she smiled.

I found myself returning that smile. "Are you alright now?"

"I'm better, thank you," she said.

I laughed softly. "You're welcome; I think…I'm not sure what I did."

"For being there earlier…for now…for everything," she said sincerely.

I nodded, speechless.

She looked off down the corridor, which gave me minute to collect myself, thank God. I squeezed her hand a few moments later and she turned to look at me.

"You ready to head back inside?" She nodded. "I just want to give you a heads up, Emmett may have it in his head that we left the room…to…uh…_be_ together…his mind is always in the gutter and when I said we would be back, I could feel his childish nature kicking in as we were walking out the door."

She laughed. "I kind of figured that…he seems like that he could be that type of person…I can handle him," she said, a devious smirk on her face. _Oh, this is gonna be good._

The moment we walked in the door I looked to Emmett. He was grinning and he waggled his eyebrows. I shook my head, trying to tell him nothing happened, but the boy would never learn. Bella went to sit back on my bed and I went to grab a couple bottles of water.

"So, _Eddie_, where did you two go off to?"

I groaned, closing the door to the little fridge. He knew I hated being called that. "We just stepped outside the door to talk in private."

He walked over, slapping his hand to my back and leaned in closer to me. "Yeah, just like back at home…you went for a drive and _talked_."

I pushed him away with my elbow. "Yeah, we **just** talked." Fucker.

"Sure, sure." He laughed, turning to face Bella. "Hey, little one." She turned to look at him, smiling. I swallowed hard.

"Yes," she said, smoothly.

"So…what were you guys doing out there?"

She shrugged. "We were just talking, that's all."

He turned, narrowing his eyes at me and I grinned. "That's all?"

"Yep." She quipped. Rose chuckled.

He huffed. "Well, what about when we went home last weekend?"

Alice gasped and Emmett snapped his head in her direction; she looked away.

"Why do you want to know, Emmett?" Bella asked, nonchalantly.

He turned his attention back to Bella. "Well, I just wanted to know if Eddie has _full_ use of his manhood again," he said, teasingly.

"Fuck off." I growled and he let out a huge guffaw.

"Well, Bella?" he asked, trying to take a deep breath in.

"Why does that have anything to do with me?" she asked, uninterested. Well, she seemed to be acting that way to me.

"Are you going to sit there and tell me that nothing happened when you two went off on Sunday?" he whined, appearing to be a little pissed that she wasn't giving up any information. I fought back the laughter.

"We drove, talked and just spent time together…is that wrong?" she asked innocently, fluttering her lashed at him. I snorted.

"NO!" he spat. "But _something_ happened; I know it did. I'll find out soon enough. Someone's gonna spill."

"There's nothing to spill, Emmett. We spent a nice day out in Forks. A lot happened last week, and it was a nice way to unwind," she said, sincerely, looking at me.

Emmett stood there looking back and forth between the two of us for a minute before he groaned, giving up. "Whatever…I know something happened…I WILL find out."

Jasper, Alice and Rose laughed. Bella had a smile on her face and I said nothing.

"Come on, baby, let's go home. It's time for bed," Rose said as she stood up, grabbing her bag. Emmett's shoulders fell in defeat and started walking toward the door. Rosalie linked her arm in his. "We can always have fun with _your_ manhood tonight before we go to bed."

Alice and I groaned.

"Gross, Rose, that's my brother," Alice whined.

"I second that…we get enough play by plays of his sex life…," I muttered.

Bella and Jasper was snickering in the background.

She turned to look at me. "Well, it's better than talking about _yours._"

Well, she had me there. I wasn't ready to divulge everything that happened between me and Bella. Jasper and Alice only knew because it was a LONG ass drive to Seattle.

"Whatever…go…go home…it's been a long day, we all have class in the morning and then we're leaving in the afternoon for home," I said, waving my arms in the direction of the door, trying to get everyone to head off to their respective living quarters.

Everyone slowly filed out of the room, Bella grabbed her things and was about to head out the door when I cupped her arm, pulling her back toward me. She turned looking up at me with confusion and I smiled.

"I wasn't quite ready for you to go yet, is that okay?" I asked, hesitantly, wondering if I was moving too fast.

She smiled softly, nodding her head. "Yeah, I'm okay with it."

Jasper walked back into the room, closing the door behind him. I looked over at him and he had a knowing grin on his face. _Prick._

"I think I'm gonna go take a shower before I head to bed," he said. Fucker never takes a shower at night. He turned to Bella. "Hey darlin', if you are not here when I get out, have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow before we head back to Forks, okay?"

"Will do, and good night Jasper," she said. He nodded and she turned back to me. I looked over at him and he winked before walking into the bathroom. I groaned. _Damn him._

"You okay, Edward?" I heard Bella ask me.

I looked down at her. "Of course, why do you ask?" I was a little confused by her question.

"I heard you groan, that's all."

My eyes widened, I sure as hell wasn't expecting her to say that. "Oh…yeah…I'm fine...it's nothing."

She shrugged, looking away. "Okay," she muttered.

I grasped under her chin, pulling her face back so I could see her. I looked straight into her eyes. "I'm fine, honest…just being stupid…Jasper caught me off guard, that's all." I hoped that she believed what I was saying.

She smiled again. I truly like it when she smiled; it made my heart skip a beat. "I believe you." She hesitated for a moment. "So why did you keep me back?" She looked down at my lips quickly and then back up to my eyes. My heart rate started to pick up.

"Um...uh…I wasn't ready to let you go yet…I wanted…I wanted you to stay…with me…" I stammered. _How the hell does she do that, making me lose control like this?_ She swallowed hard and a faint tint of a blush started creeping up on to her cheeks. _So beautiful_.

I brought my hand up, slowly brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, and then bringing it to rest against her cheek. I felt the warmth radiating from it. The electricity that was there when we touched was there in full force. It moved through my hand, in to my arm and shot down my spine to the tips of my toes. What a rush.

She sighed, leaning into my hand. I slowly traced her bottom lip with my thumb; her eyes opened slowly. I looked into them, hoping to find no hint of doubt or uncertainty – there was none.

I looked down at her lips and then brought my gaze back to hers, the blush deepened and I smiled. "Can I kiss you?" I asked, moving closer to her. I heard her breathing speed up. She nodded slowly, licking her lips and I watched the trail her tongue made in fascination. I moved my head closer to hers, cupping it between both of my hands. I lightly brushed my lips against hers and my heart stopped the moment they touched.

I took her bottom lip between mine. It was still a perfect fit, just like before. I felt her hands lightly clutch my upper arms. She moved closer to me, our bodies were flush against one another. I slowly moved my left hand down her neck to her shoulder, then running it down her arm softly, and then bringing it to rest on her lower back right above the swell of her ass, pulling her tighter to me. She whimpered softly. I felt my dick twitch at the sound. _Oh God_.

She slowly started to move her hands up my arms, to my shoulders and around my neck. I opened my mouth and slowly ran my tongue across her bottom lip, asking for permission. She opened her mouth in acceptance and I deepened the kiss instantly, turning my head slightly to take full advantage of it. Her hands quickly moved into my hair, grabbing it hard and I groaned into her mouth from the feel of it.

I felt Bella shift up slightly which brought a little bit of friction that my dick was so desperately wanted, it was throbbing by this point and I was pretty sure she was able to feel it. I knew we needed to slow it down - my inner voice was screaming at me in defiance - I groaned and Bella answered back with a moan. _That didn't help, not one bit._

I broke this kiss, resting my forehead against hers. Both of us were breathing erratically. After a moment I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. _God, I don't want to leave these lips. I could spend eternity right here._

I leaned back and gazed down at her. My arms were securely locked together behind her back; I still didn't want to let her go yet. I needed to have her near me, close to me. Her face was flushed, her eyes were closed and her lips were swollen from our kissing. _Beautiful._ She must have felt me staring because her eyes opened slowly; they were darker, swimming with passion and arousal. _Not helping_.

"Thank you," I said, still quite breathless.

She looked at me confused. "Thank you…what for?"

"I've wanted to kiss you again since the first time we did it in the meadow."

She chuckled. "Well…my _pleasure_," she said as she ran her fingers over her lips.

My eyes widened catching her double meaning, watching her fingers dance across her lips. "It was definitely _mine_ too." She laughed and I grinned.

She took a look at the clock and sighed. "I need to head back to my room, early day as you know."

I sighed in response. "Yeah, I know. I'll come get you two in the morning of course." She nodded in acknowledgment. "I can't wait to go home this weekend. I'm honestly relieved mom is making us do this; the driving sucks, but it's worth it to get away from all this drama."

"Oh yeah…definitely…" she trailed off, looking down, trying to pull out of my embrace, but I held on to her tighter. "I'm sorry again…about earlier," she mumbled.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, I told you that. I mean, honestly, you don't think I didn't about jump out of my skin when I saw him walk in that restaurant?" I asked matter-of-factly.

She looked up, shocked. "Seriously? But you…you…didn't seem…phased by him. You just kept ahold of me."

"I may not have shown it outwardly, but I was angry, scared, worried, panicky, outraged all at once but, I was more concerned about keeping you and Alice safe than about myself. Luckily, Jasper was at Alice's side and I had…you." I tightened my hold on her, and slowly brought my lips down to hers, keeping it very chaste as I didn't want us to get worked up again.

We jumped back at the sound of a throat clearing behind us. _Damn, I forgot Jasper was here._ I heard him snicker as he walked over to his bed.

"That wasn't funny, Jasper. You almost gave me a heart attack," I grumbled, pissed off that he interrupted us.

"Sorry, Edward. I thought she'd be gone by now; I was in there for over twenty minutes," he teased. _I'm gonna kick his ass, seriously._

"Yeah, I was on my way out anyway," Bella said.

I sighed. "Come on, I'll walk you to your room," I said as I wrapped my arm around her.

"Bye, darlin'. I'll see ya tomorrow," Jasper called out.

She turned to wave at him. "I'll see you later. Have a good night."

I escorted her to back to her room, giving her a small kiss and saying goodnight. A few minutes later, I walked back into my room, glaring at my supposed best friend. He had the biggest grin on his face and I wanted to slap it right the fuck off.

"You know…it's nice to see that side of you again," he said, thoughtfully.

"What side?" I asked, stunned.

"You're _alive_ again. You're not some morose asshole just walking through life. You have the light back in your eyes. It's nice to see," he said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Thanks…I think. But I do want to thank you though."

He looked at me confused. "What for?"

"For taking care of Alice when James walked in the restaurant earlier tonight. I really didn't get a chance to thank you afterwards, and honestly, it shocked the hell out of me seeing you do it."

He looked stunned by my statement. "W-why do you say that? I'm not heartless, you know."

"I'm _know_ that, Jazz. But, after our little talk on the way back to Seattle, I didn't think you'd willingly get that close to her," I said frankly.

"That's not fair, Edward. You know how I _feel_ about your sister. I'm working on…that. But, I _wanted_ to protect Alice, I don't want to see her get hurt and she was freaking out the moment she saw him," he said forcefully. "You couldn't take care of Bella and Alice at the same time, I was there…damn it…she means a lot to me…I couldn't…"

"I get it," I said, cutting him off. He was freaking the hell out. "_Believe me_, I get it. I feel the same way about my Bella."

He raised an eyebrow in response to my statement. _What the hell did I say?_ "My Bella?" he asked, grinning…widely.

Fuck.

"Um…yeah…uh…shit…forget I said that…" I stammered.

He started laughing. "It's all good, man. I understand. I wish I could say that about Alice." He sighed.

"Soon…just take one day at a time…you can talk to me anytime, you know that right? It'll be a little weird talking about my sister like that though…but I love you both, so I will suck it up," I said, laughing.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, now you know how I feel…you're her brother…it's strange talking to you about having a possible relationship with her. I could say one wrong thing and there will be you or Em to come pound me into the ground," he said in a serious tone.

I laughed lightly and he glared at me. I raised my hands in surrender. "Yeah, we probably would come beat your ass just because we can…but seriously man, we both know how you feel about her. We would be encouraging it if we thought for one minute you'd hurt her."

He sighed, nodding. "I know…just give me time. I've got a lot of issues to work through."

"I do too…not as serious as yours are, but is it a path you are willing to take?" I needed to know that he was going to make a true effort, if not then he needed to move on and allow Alice too as well. I knew she had been in love with him for about as long as he had been with her.

"It is." He looked me straight in the eyes; there was no doubt or insincerity in his. There was a touch of fear, but I knew where that stemmed from; it was the demons he needed to work through and I would be there to help him through it every step of the way, if needed.

"Good." Was all I said. After a few minutes of silence, we both turned and went to sleep.

I started to dream of Bella that night, in my meadow…our meadow - kissing her, touching her, hearing her moan, feeling her body move beneath me as I made love to her and calling my name out as I gave her pleasure. Sometime during that dream, Tanya showed up, kneeling down next to Bella and I. She was running her hands all over me…she moved in to kiss me and I jumped back, repulsed and angered. She looked shocked by actions, but moved in again. For some reason I allowed her to kiss me. I couldn't believe it was happening. I physically felt sick that she was doing this to me, and I was allowing it. She pushed me down so I was lying on the ground of the meadow and went to straddle me. I looked over at Bella, pleading for her to help me, letting her know I didn't want this. I wanted her, no one else but her. Bella got up and walked away, never turning back.

I shot up in bed clutching my chest, panting from anxiety. My heart was beating so fast, but it also hurt so much. I looked around the room trying to ground myself. I was not in the meadow. Bella was in her room, with Alice. I was in bed, in my room; Jasper was asleep in his bed. I slowly brought my breathing under control. The pain in my chest was still there. All I kept picturing was Bella walking away from me, because of Tanya, and that killed me.

I got up and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. I climbed back into bed and took small sips from the bottle. _What am I going to do?_ _I can't go through the hurt that Tanya had caused me again. But I don't want to lose Bella._ I couldn't believe that I had allowed Tanya to kiss me in the dream…I snorted…that wasn't a dream, that was a fucking nightmare. Why would I have done that? I didn't want Tanya anymore. I never wanted that lying, two-faced, whoring bitch near me again_. So why would I allow her to kiss me?_ Was it my mind playing tricks on me and my insecurities? Could be. Was I allowing myself to fuck up would could possibly be the best thing that could happen to me? Quite possible. Ugh! It's too early, or too late to be thinking about all this shit right now.

I looked over at the clock on my phone; five-thirty in the morning. Fucking perfect. I didn't want to go back to sleep because I sure as hell didn't want to have _that_ dream again, but it was also too early to do anything - I didn't have to get the girls until eight-thirty. I sighed and laid down, bringing my hands under my head. I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like forever, but I decided to say, 'fuck it', got up and jumped in the shower.

It was still quite early in the morning, but I decided to head out to the commons to grab a coffee at Starbucks. I needed to clear my head before I had to go pick up the girls for class. I honestly didn't think for one minute that I would run into _him_ this early in the morning. Who knew that he might have needed his morning coffee too, what were the odds? But what surprised the fuck out of me was who was with him. My nightmare had become a reality.

Fuck My Life.

**~*Twilightgirl224**

**A/N: I know, I know…what a cliffie. I think I am going to continue with the EPOVs for a couple more chapters. Like I said before, he is a little easier to write. I'm not going to give you a time frame for an update, because the last time I said two weeks and it turned out to be a couple of months. RL if finally slowing down, at least until the end of the year. I'm hoping to have another update in a few weeks, just not a definite time frame. Love you all for sticking with me and I love reading all your feedback and comments. **


	21. Chapter 17Baby What do you mean baby?

**C/N: Okay, well…I know it has been an awful long time since the last update. Let's just say, there are a lot of things going on in my life…positive things…but a lot. I got a brand new job in November and already got promoted within two months of being there. So, my focus was on my job and not my writing, and I apologize for that. My personal life took a nice 180…and I'll leave it at that for now.**

**I want to thank all my lovely followers. Thank you for sticking with me. I see all the additions to the alerts for my story and I truly appreciate it.**

**Like I said previously, I think I am going to stick to EPOV for a while. I seem to write better in his perspective. Bella will make her presence known again…she has a lot to say, but right now – Edward takes center stage.**

**I know this chapter is a little short – not my normal 30ish page chapter, but there is so much about to happen, that I needed to leave it where it ended. Let's just say the sh!t is about to hit the fan. But until then, enjoy this chapter and I'll see you at the bottom.**

Chapter 17

I honestly didn't think my life could have gotten any worse. I was wrong. The moment _she_ turned around, my heart fell to my feet. James had his arm around her waist and she was looking at him while she spoke. He must have sensed my presence because his head snapped in my direction, and she immediately stopped talking to follow his line of sight.

My heart had finally found its rhythm again, and it took off into a sprint – double time. My eyes moved from the shocked looks on both of their faces directly to her extended stomach. She tried to cover it seconds later and failed. _She looks like she is ready to pop. She's only seven and a half months pregnant. What the fuck?_

I started to mentally count the weeks from February when she told me she was four weeks along. NO! No way! My medical knowledge had kicked in - there was no way she was this far along.

"Edward?" She tried to call my name, but I couldn't take my eyes away from her swollen stomach.

"Edward," she said loudly. My eyes slowly moved their way up her body and locked on hers. Once they did, only silence ensued.

James was looking back and forth between her and I. The silence must have been getting to him, because he was the one to finally break it. "Come on, Tanya. Let's get out of here," he said, as he slowly tried to pull her with him.

She was about to leave, and that got my attention. I had to know. I _needed_ to know – for my sanity. "Tanya?" I croaked, and was immediately angry at myself for showing them any kind of weakness.

"Yes, Edward," she whispered. Her eyes never left mind. James was still trying to maneuver her away from me, but she didn't budge.

"How…how…" I stuttered, motioning to her stomach with my hand, "how far along are you?"

Her eyes narrowed quickly – anger flashed quickly within them. "Is that all you have to say after all this time?" she growled.

"Tanya," James warned and she scoffed.

"Just answer the question," I spat.

James' head moved quickly in my direction, his jaw tensed. "What business is it of yours, _Eddie_?"

I turned to look at him. The anger was building, my blood was boiling. "Really? You are honestly going to stand there and _knowing_ the reason for my question, and act like there is nothing wrong?" I roared.

"Lower your voice, Edward. You're causing a scene," Tanya said forcefully.

I laughed menacingly in response, beyond caring at the point. This bitch seriously had another thing coming if she thought for one minute she was going to try and keep me from knowing what the hell was going on. _Am I going to be a father? _That was the only question running through my entire existence right now. I had to know, and she **was** going to tell me – now! I took a couple steps toward her and James moved in to shield her.

I snorted, "Please…I'm not going to touch her. She disgusts me; makes me sick." I heard her gasp. "But…I want an answer to my question," I said, coolly.

"The fuck you do!" James said angrily, moving in my direction.

Tanya grabbed his arm, trying to keep him near her. "James, baby, please don't. It's not worth it."

I had to keep the bile that was fighting its way to the surface at bay by her casual use of that term of endearment.

"Tanya." She looked over at me. "You told me that night…" Just remembering that night made my insides clench, but I couldn't focus on that right now, "that you were four weeks along. _Clearly, _that was wrong," I sneered.

She sighed. "It was. I hadn't been to the doctor yet. It was a guess, the last person I had been with before that night was James. The last time I had been with you was at Thanksgiving." I shuddered at the thought. She noticed my reaction and looked away from me. "My due date is September fourth," she whispered, almost so low that I would have missed it if I wasn't paying attention.

I blanched; my heart was hammering inside my rib cage. "Oh, God," I groaned, looking at her. "Are you telling me…" I couldn't even bring myself utter the words that could change my entire world. But her silence and the fact that she couldn't even look me in the eye, gave me the answer I was looking for. "Fuuuccckkk!" I yelled, running my hand through my hair and grabbed a fist full, yanking it so hard I thought I was going to pull it out.

She looked up at me. "I…I…we don't know for sure," she said nervously.

"What do you mean 'we don't know for sure'? When you found out it was a possibility, why didn't you try to contact me?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Because it was none of your concern, motherfucker," James growled.

"Like hell it wasn't!" I roared. "She could be carrying my child. Don't you think I had to _right_ to know?" James just laughed at my rage. "And besides, why are you trying to act like the protective daddy all of the sudden, huh? Just a couple weeks ago, you were all over Bella – asking her to a Frat party, and then you tried to make a move on her again last week. Seriously, what the fuck?"

Tanya stepped back, away from James. She had a look of pure shock on her face, like she had been slapped. "What is he talking about, James?"

"Nothing," he spat, "Not a fucking thing."

She looked at me. "Who's Bella?"

I looked at her. "_She's_ none of your concern, but your boyfriend here was trying his moves out on her. When she wouldn't take the bait, he got aggressive her – threatening her. Are you sure you want him to play house with you?"

She looked back over at James. Anger was rolling off of her in waves. "Who. The. Fuck. Is. Bella, James?"

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. He didn't even turn to look at her. Out of nowhere, he started to get this devious, maniacal grin that was slowly getting wider and wider. Then he spoke, "Just a new girl on campus I thought I'd show around. But, it looks like Eddie here has taken a liking to her. He's become quite to protective freak when it comes to her…"

"Of course I am," I screamed, effectively cutting him off. "You threatened her…and me. What'd you think I would do? Just let you terrorize her? Hell no, especially after what happened in Port Angeles during Spring Break our senior year," I said with a growl.

His body tensed at the memory, but he quickly recovered.

"What the hell is talking about? Will _someone please_, tell me what is going on here?" Tanya pleaded.

I laughed. "Yeah, James. Why don't you tell her?"

"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled. "Remember what I told you back then would happen if you _ever_ said anything," he warned.

I scoffed, "You don't scare me, asshole. Your threats mean nothing to me."

He smirked. "Ohh really…your family…"

I cut him off. "_My family_ knows **everything**, James," I said, emphasizing the last word. I watched for any sign of fear or worry, but all I saw in his eyes was unadulterated anger and hatred. He stared me down, trying to make me run with my tail between my legs, but I wasn't going to back down. Not this time.

"What _everything_?" I heard Tanya screech,

It was my turn to return the smirk. "Soooo….should I be the one to enlighten her or…"

He got up in my face before I had the time to register his movement. "Don't you fucking breathe a word. If I find out you said anything to her or anyone else, I will come after you…" he whispered through clenched teeth, but then he moved his head back an inch and smiled. _What the hell?_ "Or your precious Bella."

That was it. I had had enough of the threats. I was tired of being afraid – it was time to fight back. I grabbed him by his shirt with both hands and pulled him flush against me. I felt his body tremble under my clutches, and it make me feel powerful. "If you come _anywhere_ near Bella…I. WILL. KILL. YOU. Do you understand me?" I said so low that only he could hear me. He just stood there staring blankly at me. I honestly don't think he was expecting this reaction out of me. I yanked him closer to where our noses almost touched. "DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME?" I said each word slowly so he knew I meant business. I wasn't his little pet anymore; he couldn't control me. I saw a flash of fear suddenly appear in his eyes, but it vanished just as quickly. He brought his arms up to my chest and tried to push me back, but I didn't move.

"James! Edward!" Tanya screamed. "Stop this! Now!" She tried to get between us, pushing on me to move back. My grip on James tightened in response.

I saw out from the corner of my eye, the manager of the shop come from behind the counter to make his way over to where we were. I leaned into James. "This is far from over, motherfucker," I said lowly and forcefully; then I released him.

"You two had better break this up before I call campus security," the manager said.

James stepped back, smoothing out his shirt. He grabbed Tanya's arm and pushed past me, leaving the shop.

I looked over at the manager, apologizing for making a scene and then left. I walked out the door and searched for me phone. I pulled it out from my back pocket and checked the time; seven-fifteen. I groaned. What a fucked up way to start the day!

**~*MoTH*~**

I made it back to the room, coffeeless and my adrenaline still running rampant through my body. Jasper was still asleep when I walked through the door, so I quietly closed it and made my way over to my desk. I sat down and placed my head on the desk, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down. After a few minutes I sat up and pulled my phone out.

I knew it was still kinda early, but I hoped that Bella might be up at this exact moment. I needed someone to talk to. I decided to text her first to see if she was awake.

_**Hey, are you up by any chance? – Edward**_

I put my phone on the desk and got up to grab an orange juice form the mini fridge. I heard my phone chime and I hurried back to my desk, grabbing the phone instantly. It was Bella. _Thank God!_

_**Yeah, been up for a while now. Everything okay? – Bella**_

_**No, not really. Can I come over? - Edward**_

I waited for a response, my knee bouncing with anxiety.

_**Sure, see you shortly. – Bella**_

_**Thank you. I'll be right over. – Edward**_

I jumped up, grabbed my bag and quietly left the room. As soon as the door closed, I sprinted across the corridor and made my way to her room. I knocked lightly in case Alice was still asleep.

The door opened, and Bella looked up at my with a smile that immediately faded the moment her eyes locked on mine. Her face morphed a look of concern and worry. She immediately opened the door even more, waving me inside.

"Is Alice awake?" I asked, just to make sure it was okay.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Of course she is, she has to get ready for class. It takes her a while."

I snorted. "Yeah, kinda figured, but I just wanted to be sure."

"She's in the bathroom now. Have a seat," she said, pointing to her chair. I pulled it out, faced it toward her and sat.

"So…what's going on?" she asked, concern evident in her voice. I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "That bad, huh?" She chuckled lightly as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

I chuckled, darkly. "That's an understatement. I woke up early this morning from…a not so pleasant dream." I wasn't ready to disclose that tid-bit of information yet. Hopefully she'll forget I even mentioned it. "I wasn't able to fall back asleep. Well…actually, I didn't want to go back to sleep. Anyway, I decided to head out to grab a coffee…" I could see her about to cut me off and I held my hand up to stop her. "I know, I know…I could have had some in the room, but it was too early and I didn't want to wake Jasper, so I left. Well, you won't believe who I ran into this morning?" I said with distaste.

"Who?" she whispered. I looked directly into her eyes. The fear was present in her posture and it had taken root in her eyes. I hated seeing that there. I reached my hand out to her and she took it. The electricity was flowing between us, like always. I gently pulled her over to me. I guided her onto my lap and into my arms. _She feels so right in my arms, like they were made for her._

I moved my hand to cup her cheek – I felt her lean into it – but then I moved it down to grasp her chin, lifting it until her eyes met mine. "Don't let this get the best of you, baby. It's not worth it. _They're_ not worth it."

She nodded and sighed. "Who did you see?"

I sighed in response. This was going to get interesting. "James…" I said hesitantly and she tensed immediately – my hold on her tightened. "Don't, please" I was rubbing circles on her back with my left hand and I felt her relax a little in my arms. "There's more." I could see the trepidation in her eyes.

"What else?" she asked.

"Someone else was there with him," I said slowly.

The realization of who it was suddenly dawned on her face. "Oh my God!" she whispered yelled. "It was Tanya wasn't it?" I nodded and then heard a gasp from behind me. Bella and I looked over in the direction of it and saw a very pale looking Alice.

"Alice?" I called out to her. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. "Alice!" She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. "Come over here and sit down, please." Bella went to move from my lap and I held her in place. I turned back to look at her. "Don't you dare move," I growled very lowly. "I need you here." She nodded slowly and I saw the corner of her mouth turn up in a smile, but it quickly faded when she saw Alice pass us to sit down.

I looked over to Alice. She was still quite pale and trembling slightly. "Alice…what all did you hear?"

She looked up at me. "I heard you say James' name and that someone else was with him. Bella said Tanya's name when she realized who you were talking about. Wh-when did you see them, Edward?"

I shook my head at all this nonsense. James was finding a way to wreak havoc even when he wasn't in the vicinity. My sister was terrified of him – especially after was I disclosed last weekend. Bella, even though she hates herself for letting him get the best of her, was still afraid of him. Even though I found the strength to fight back, I still have a small piece inside of me that still feared him – but I wouldn't allow that to destroy me again. I would protect everything most dear to me until my last breath against that disgusting excuse of a human being.

I heard Bella call my name and I over at her. She looked at me with concern. "Edward, Alice asked when did you see them."

"Oh, sorry, about half an hour ago. I ran into both of them when I went out this morning," I said.

"What happened?" Bella asked. "Please, tell me you didn't get into a fight with him."

I shook my head, and she let out a sigh of relief. "Bella…Alice…I have something to tell you. I don't know…_how_…to tell you, but before I lose my mind over this…I need to tell someone."

Alice looked really worried and Bella was staring at me intensely. I had to close my eyes for a moment to collect myself and my thoughts.

Alice broke the silence first. "Edward, what is it? You're kind of freaking me out here." I laughed at the idea of her freaking out. I about lost my sanity when I found out. "Edward!" Alice chastised.

"Alice," Bella warned. "Give him a minute. There's no need to get all worked up. It'll be alright," she said, reassuringly.

I wished that she was right about that. _Okay, here is goes._ "Well…" I choked out, and cleared my throat to continue. "When I saw…Tanya…let's just suffice it to say…I was completely blown away."

"Why?" They both asked in unison.

I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. "Well, it seems Tanya is a lot more…pregnant…than originally thought."

Alice was the first to react. "Say what?" she screeched.

"Alice!" I growled.

"Oh my God!" The weight of what I just said dawned on her. "NO! No, no, no, no, no…please say it isn't," she all but pleaded with me.

"What?" Bella implored. "What? What's going on?"

"No, Edward. This can't be happening. Did she confirm it?" Alice asked, begging me with her eyes to say it wasn't so.

"She can't…"

"Why can't she? Tell me she knows who the father is?" Alice asked cynically.

I heard Bella gasp at my side and I turned slowly to look at her. I could see the wheels turning in those dark chocolate eyes of hers. "Bella?" She went to move from my embrace and I held her tightly against me. "Bella?" She shook her head and tried to move again. NO! I was not going to let her leave. She was too important to me; I wanted her with me – always. "Bella, please look at me," I said softly.

She looked directly at me – her face an emotionless mask. "The baby's yours, isn't it?" she asked, flatly.

I shook my head slowly. "She doesn't know who the baby's father is. When she told me that she was pregnant after I had proposed, she thought she was four weeks along. Well, she's not. Her due date is September fourth."

"You were with her at Thanksgiving weren't you?" Alice asked and I nodded. "Oh, God." I heard Bella whimper softly and pulled her closer to me. She tensed slightly but she didn't fight it.

"She was with James all of December, so it's possible he could be the father. It's just; this is driving me absolutely insane. If I hadn't run into them, I would have never known that it was a possibility," I said, angrily.

Bella shifted against me. "She wasn't going to tell you?" she asked, outraged.

"I don't think that they would have. They would have let me go on thinking that James was the father, even knowing that I could possibly be that baby's father," I fumed.

"What are you going to tell mom and dad, Edward?" Alice asked softly.

I hadn't even thought about what I was going to tell me parents. Do I tell them that they could possibly have a grandchild on the way, only to have it taken away from them if the child isn't mine? No, I would wait. I would wait until Tanya had the baby and we could run a paternity test. How very Maury Povich. I snorted.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Bella asked, concerned.

I nodded. "Yeah, was just thinking how this would be fitting for an episode of Maury Povich."

"This is not a joking matter," Alice said icily.

I snapped my head to her. "Don't you think I _know_ that? I just found out today that I could possibly be a father. I don't think you understand the magnitude of the situation, Alice," I spat. As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Alice looked crestfallen. I sighed. "I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean to take it out on you like that. This is _a lot_ for me to take in in a short amount of time and as far as mom and dad go, I'm not going to say anything until I know for sure."

"Do you think that's wise?" Bella asked.

I turned back to look at her. "Why should I tell them? What if I'm not the father, and their hopes of being grandparents a quickly dashed? No, I think it's best to hold off until I know one-hundred percent," I said, assuredly.

"Edward, I think you should let them know that it _is_ a possibility, but also tell them that James could also be the father. Your father knows that once the baby's born, a paternity test can be performed and all doubt will be erased. Don't keep this to yourself, I don't want this to come back and bite you, again," Bella said, her eyebrow arched in a challenge.

I sat there staring at her. She cocked her head to the side, waiting for me to make a comment. I knew she was right. Damn it.

"Argh…fine…fine, I'll tell them when we go home for the weekend. Satisfied?" I huffed. She smiled and nodded. And I thought my sister was the one who didn't play fair. Bella owned me, and I think she knew it.

"Thank you," she said sweetly, leaning over and giving me a chaste kiss on the lips. My breath hitched. She leaned back, looking directly at me, gauging my reaction.

I wasn't expecting her to do that, but I wasn't going to complain either. As a matter-of-fact, I took advantage of it. I brought my hand that was still placed on her back, up along her spine – I felt her shiver under my fingers – my smile grew wider. Her own breath got caught in her throat this time. I cupped the back of her neck and gently pulled her to me. Her eyes looked down at my lips, then moved back up to meet my eyes. The moment our lips touched again, the electricity intensified. This was where I wanted to be. Bella was it for me. I groaned at the thought.

"Ahem." Alice cleared her throat to get our attention. Bella jumped back quickly and she blushed in embarrassment. I loved it when she did that. She was looking in any direction she could that didn't involve Alice or I, and I chuckled. "Aww, don't you two look adorable together."

Bella blush went a deep crimson and I rolled my eyes. "Alice," I whined. "Don't you have to finish getting ready or something?"

"Nope." She said, popping the 'p' at the end. "I'm all ready to go, just have to put my shoes on."

"Fine, put them on and let's head out to class. The sooner we can get this day over with, the sooner we can be on the road for home," I said. I gently lifted Bella from my lap so she could collect her things for class. I got up and grabbed my bag. Within five minutes we were out the door.

We talked about some of the things we could do this weekend on our way to class. Thankfully, neither of them brought up James, Tanya or the baby. I just wanted a little reprieve from it for the rest of the day, well, until I had to let everyone else in on it. _Damn._

**~*MoTH*~**

The rest of the day passed without any additional drama. _Thank God!_ It was almost time to get on the road and head for home. I was feeling so many different, conflicting emotions about that; I wasn't sure what to do. On so many levels, I was happy to be going home, finally able to enjoy my family again. Then, I also felt angry – angry because I seem to bring more baggage with me each time, and not just my duffle bag. Also, I was also frightened, not sure how I would approach the subject of Tanya – or the baby

My mother's words, _"No more secrets," _kept echoing throughout my mind most of the day and that pretty much sealed the deal, well that and Bella's convincing statements. She knew that if I kept this a secret and it came out that I was the father, my parents would be heartbroken. I would have broken my promise to never keep another secret from them.

It was a little after six when Jasper and I walked out of our room and headed toward the girls' room. Alice opened the door smiling, but the moment she looked over at Jasper she blushed. I rolled my eyes as I walked past her and into the room. I looked over at Alice's bed; she was obviously still packing her bags, three of them mind you – even though we were only going to be gone for two days.

"Alice?" I called her name and I was met with silence. I turned around to look at her. She and Jasper were standing there staring at each other, no words passing between them. It was kind of weird to see that…kind of…intimate? I shook my head to rid me of anything that had to do with my sister and the word intimate. _Ugh!_

"Alice!" I said a little louder this time, hoping I would break through their little bubble of whatever that was between them.

"Hmmm?" Was all I got back in response.

"Alice, for crying out loud," I growled, waving my hands at her, "Over here, dear sister of mine." She finally broke away from the staring contest she was having, and looked over at me. When she did, she blushed about ten shades of red. I was fighting real hard not to laugh. I looked over at Jasper and he had the "Don't even fucking think about it" look on his face, and I knew to drop it. Focusing my sights back on to my sister, I proceeding to ask her how much longer it would take her to pack. I wanted to be on the road before six-thirty. She grumbled, telling me she was almost done.

As Alice walked over to her bed, Bella came out of the bathroom carrying a little bag. "Alice, do you have any…" she stopped when she looked up and saw me standing next to her bed. "Hey, Edward." She looked behind her; I guess to see if Jasper was here. "Hi, Jasper."

"Hey, darlin'. How are you doing this afternoon?" he asked.

"I'm good, ready for a break and you?"

"Me too, darlin'…me too," he said with a smile.

Bella turned to look at me. "We almost ready?" she asked.

I looked over at Alice – who rolled her eyes. "I'm almost done!" she said, exasperated. "What were you needing, Bella?"

"What?" Bella asked.

"When you were coming out of the bathroom, you were asking if I had any…what were you looking for?"

"Oh, just some lotion. I haven't had a chance to pick any up before this weekend," she said.

"Sure, I have some packed with my toiletries," Alice said.

"Thanks."

I looked down at my phone to check the time. It was almost six-thirty. I cleared my throat, attempting to get their attention, but I think I was annoying my sister even more. That was an added bonus. _I'm such an ass sometimes._ "I'm going to take Bella's and my bags to the car. Jasper, can you stay and help Alice finish so we can hit it?"

I saw him tense for a brief second, but then relaxed. "Sure," he said with a slight hint of trepidation.

"Good. See you two shortly." I walked over to Bella's bed to grab her bag, but she stopped me before I could take it.

"I got it," she said.

I chuckled. "I know you can carry it, but I was offering to do it."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine," she huffed as she walked toward the door. I could have sworn I heard her mumble "Men" under her breath and I snickered. _Women._

**~*MoTH*~**

We were on the road by six forty-five thanks to Alice, but we were officially on our way. I had called mom to let her know when to expect us by, and she sounded relieved. We made it in a little over three hours. _Thank God._ Alice had kept us busy by running down different shopping trips and outings that the girls could take over the weekend. She wanted to try different fashions out on Bella, talking about getting a new wardrobe started for her.

I heard grumbling coming from the seat next to me. I looked over to see a very annoyed Bella scowling out through the windshield, her arms crossed over her chest. I snickered lightly, and Bella's head snapped over to me giving me the look of death - I choked on my laughter. Alice was still going on about clothes and shopping without a care in the world. I leaned over slightly and whispered I was sorry to Bella. I know Alice could be much to handle when she got in the zone.

My parents were waiting outside as we pulled up. My mother was smiling as she watched us get out of the car. I knew this was taking a toll on her and it saddened me quite a bit to know I was the reason for it. She would do anything to make sure her children were safe.

My father came over to help with the bags, telling us that Emmett and Rosalie should arrive any minute. They both had gotten out of class early and was on the road by seven-thirty. I knew that once everyone was here, my mother would relax.

Once the bags were put in the room, we all gathered in the kitchen. The smells coming from there were divine. My stomach growled in response.

"I hope everyone is hungry, I made enough to feed the town," my mother said, jokingly. She wasn't joking about the amount, I knew better. She made a lot, but I'm pretty sure Emmett would have it cleaned before there was even a though about leftovers.

I heard the front door slam shut, and a short second later, Rosalie scolding Emmett for being a caveman. Speak of the devil.

"What's that smell?" Emmett yelled from the foyer.

"Emmett!" Rose hissed.

We all laughed. I had to hand it to Rosalie for dealing with that big oaf. He was a lot to handle, but he could also be the fiercest person I knew when it came to protecting the ones he cared about. He definitely got that from mom.

Over the next hour, we sat around, relaxing and chatting away about nothing and everything – eating my mother's famous lasagna. It was nice. I looked around the table at my _family_, just staring at them…thankful that I had them in my life. I turned and looked down at Bella. She was listening intently to everyone, jumping in when she needed to. I was very thankful for this beautiful, wonderful girl who broke through my walls without even trying. She grounded me, gave me a purpose and she would forever own me. I was tied to her whether she wanted me or not. I moved my hand over to grasp hers under the table and gave it a slight squeeze.

Bella turned to look up at me, smiling. I found myself getting lost in her eyes – they always pulled me in. She laced her fingers with mine, tightening her hold – letting me know she was here and that she wasn't going anywhere. My heart skipped a beat at the thought.

I could feel someone staring at me and I looked up. My mother was watching Bella's and my wordless exchange. She was smiling, big. Beaming would be more like it. She knew…mothers always knew. I smiled back in response, but my heart clenched knowing I might be removing that smile from her face sooner than I wanted to, and my smile turned into a grimace. I felt Bella's hold on my hand tighten just a bit more and my mother's brows furrowed in worry.

Bella leaned over to me. "You okay?" I nodded. "You sure?" she asked, knowing something was up.

I released her hand from mine, instantly feeling the loss of her touch. I brought my hand up and brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. I leaned to her slightly. "I'm fine…for now. Just having a hard time finding a way to tell my parents about…you know," I said lowly.

She nodded. "I know, Edward. Just remember, we are all here for you. _I'm _here for you," she said with conviction.

My mother got up and began to clear the table. Bella and Alice jumped up to help her immediately. While they were cleaning up the kitchen, the guys took off toward the living room and I was at a loss on how to proceed. I knew I didn't want to get into it tonight. Actually, I wanted to sleep on it…although I wasn't sure if I _would _get any kind of sleep tonight, but I needed to figure out how I was going to break _this_ to my family.

I entered the kitchen, and I stood there watching my mom, Alice and Bella wash and dry the dishes that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher. They were laughing and having a good time. Bella seemed to…just fit in. I couldn't explain it. It was like she belonged there, no questions asked, and I loved it.

They finished cleaning down the counters and putting the last of the dishes away when Bella glanced up, sensing I was there or something. She smiled and realized that I was probably there to talk to my mother. She said something to Alice, who immediately looked over in my direction and realization dawned on her. They both told my mother they would see her in a few minutes and walked out of the kitchen.

My mother watched them walk out and then turned to look at me. "They aren't very subtle are they?" she chuckled.

I laughed. "No, not really, but I'm thankful that they did. I needed to speak to you alone for a minute. Actually, I need to talk to you and dad first, then the rest of the family if what I tell you is okay to pass along to them. Although, I need to let you know that Alice and Bella already know about what I need to talk to you about. I wanted to know if we can talk in dad's office tomorrow morning, before…"

My mother cut me off. "Edward, is everything alright?" I saw the fear instantly in her eyes and silently groaned in agony. Why did I have to keep doing this? I was causing so much grief, fear, anger…the list goes on and on. I needed to fix this all and soon.

"Yes and no," I said honestly.

At that moment, my father decided to walk in the kitchen. He took one look at my mother and was at her side instantly. _Now I know where I get that trait from._

"Es, is everything okay? What's wrong?" he asked, concerned. She looked back at me, and he turned his gaze upon me. _Damn. _"Edward?"

I sighed and began, hesitantly. "I was just asking mom if the three of us could talk tomorrow morning in your office. I didn't want to do an all-out family meeting until you knew what I had to say first. It's not bad…well, it's not good either…but no one in the family is in any physical danger." I tried to say cryptically. Physical danger…not an issue, emotional danger…it was off the chart and I didn't know how to handle it. I was still freaked out by what happened earlier today.

My dad cocked his head slightly, taking in my words. He looked down at my mother and saw the worry and concern that was evident on her face.

"I know it's late, and I'm pretty sure everyone is tired. Let's get some sleep and hopefully come at this new development with fresh eyes and open ears," he said.

My mother sighed and she leaned into my father. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer in. I loved how much they loved each other. "Okay, let's call it a night. Let's go say goodnight to everyone, Carlisle," she said as she headed out of the kitchen. But, she stopped short of the archway and turned around to look at me. "Promise me that none of you are in danger because of this _news_," she begged.

I tried to swallow a lump the size of Texas that was stuck in my throat. It wouldn't budge and all I could muster was a very weak, "Promise." The fear was still present in her eyes, but it diminished slightly at my assurance.

She turned and they walked toward the living room. Everyone said goodnight and slowly found their way to their rooms. Bella came up to me after everyone had left, wanting to make sure that I was okay. I assured her I was and we made our way up the stairs to our respective rooms. I followed her to Alice's door, and as she went to grab the door knob I gripped her left arm and slowly turned her around.

She turned, looking at me with confusion. "Edward?"

I wasn't ready to say goodnight yet…I needed her. I pulled her closer to me, the look of confusion still there.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. She fit perfectly. I knew she would. I felt her melt into my embrace. "Bella?" She slowly lifted her head, her eyes meeting mine. She hummed in response and I chuckled softly. "I'm glad you're here."

"There isn't a place I would rather be," she said and I could see the truthfulness of that statement in her eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked and she nodded. I looked down at her lips and then back up to her eyes in enough time to see her do the same thing. I leaned down, slowly grazing my lips across hers – the electricity igniting instantly. Every single time.

I pulled back a little to see her face. She opened her eyes, they were darker…_could she be feeling the same thing I do?_

I leaned back down and kissed her with a little more force behind it, taking her bottom lip in between mine and gently sucking on it. I heard soft moan come from Bella, so soft I almost missed it…but didn't. I traced her top lip with my tongue, asking permission and she answered. She opened her mouth slowly, allowing my tongue entrance and the electricity spiked tenfold.

Her hands started to make their way from my chest up to my shoulders and around the back of my neck. She started grasping the hair at the nape of my neck, bringing my head closer to hers. My hold on her tightened, needing to feel her body flush against mine.

I knew this couldn't go any further, but I didn't want to let her go yet. I felt her move her hands further into my hair, grabbing it tightly – it was my turn to moan. _God, that felt good._ I needed to end this before I end up fucking her against Alice's door. She deserved _way _more than that. I began to slow down the fierceness of our kiss. She whimpered in response, she knew what I was trying to do – and that whimper didn't help my cause. I brought my hands from around her waist, tracing the contours of her back until my hands were cupping both sides of her head. I gently rubbed my thumbs on along her cheeks while I kissed her softly on the lips. I pressed my lips to hers three more times and slowly moved back to look at her. Her eyes were still closed and her cheeks were a high pink – flushed. She was so beautiful.

"Bella, baby?"

She slowly opened her eyes. They were still dark and hooded, full of so many emotions. "Humm?"

I smirked. I was glad to see I could make her incoherent too, just like she did me. "I wanted to say goodnight and I'll see you in the morning?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Um, yeah…after your talk with your parents?" she asked.

"Okay then," I said, leaning down to softly kiss her again. "Goodnight, sweet dreams."

"You too, Edward," she whispered before she turned to open the door. I watched her walk into Alice's room, closing the door gently behind her.

I turned and walked a few steps toward my room. I opened my door and walked in, closing it behind me. I changed quickly into my night clothes and made my way over to my bed.

Bella was of course forefront on my mind. She was going to be the death of me, but it would be the sweetest way to go. I want to take her back to our meadow this weekend, to spend some quality time with her. But first, I needed to have the talk with my parents about Tanya and the baby.

Baby.

I could possibly be a father. Oh God. I wanted to be a father…or did…I do, still do – but not with Tanya. I always thought it was going to be with her and when she turned my proposal down; I thought I had lost that chance.

Now, it could be a real possibility that Tanya's baby is mine. _What am I going to do if that baby is mine?_ _What will happen with Bella if it turns out that way? Will she want to stay with me…take care of someone else's child? What if I lose her because of this?_ I was in a total state of panic with that last question. I couldn't lose her. I needed her.

My mind was going in so many directions and I couldn't settle it enough to go to sleep. When I finally did manage to find sleep, I had the worst nightmare I had ever had. I woke up panting and sweating, clutching my chest. My heart was pounding – it was aching at the last remnant of the nightmare – Bella walking away from me, never looking back.

_I don't think I would survive another broken heart._

**~*Twilightgirl224**

**A/N: I know…I know…I really hated to leave it like this, but so much is about to happen and I've got an idea of where I want it to go, but I didn't want to start it in this chapter.**

**Please leave me some love, thoughts, perceptions, comments…I love hearing from you.**


	22. Chapter 18 - Facing Reality Head On

**C/N: I'm finally updating the story. I know it's been a LONG wait, and I'm sorry for that. RL has truly eaten up any free time I have. I'm not taking the story out of hiatus officially yet because I can't give a definite update time frame. I don't foresee it being as long as it was before. So, I'll see how it goes.**

**I'm hoping I haven't lost my readers. Although I have seen many add my story and myself to their favorites, and I thank you dearly. Instead of clogging up the chapter note, why don't we just get on with the update. See you at the bottom! **

_Previously - My mind was going in so many directions and I couldn't settle it enough to go to sleep. When I finally did manage to find sleep, I had the worst nightmare I had ever had. I woke up panting and sweating, clutching my chest. My heart was pounding – it was aching at the last remnant of the nightmare – Bella walking away from me, never looking back._

_I don't think I would survive another broken heart._

Chapter 18 – Facing Reality Head On

EPOV

I was still reeling from the nightmare I just had as I padded down the stairs on my way to the kitchen. As I landed on the last step I looked around, I noticed the light in my father's office was on. _Strange._ I looked over at the clock on the wall, it was six – twenty in the morning. I walked over to his office and slowed as I came upon the door. It was slightly ajar, but I could tell that my father was in there as I heard the creak come from his chair as he moved in it. _What is he doing up this early? I thought he had the weekend off._

I knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in," he said.

I pushed on the door lightly allowing it to slowly open. I followed the movement until my eyes locked on him from where he sat behind his desk.

"Dad?" He smiled. "What are you doing up so early?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Force of habit I guess. I had early shifts at the hospital for the past two weeks straight and I don't think my body realized it was my day off."

I chuckled. "That sucks, dad."

"Yeah, it kinda does, but nothing I can do about it." He focused a bit more on me, his brows furrowed a bit, making me squirm internally. "But, now, why are you up so early this morning? I thought you'd sleep in till at least ten," he said.

I lowered my head, wanting to look anywhere but at him right now. He called my name, but I couldn't even bring myself to acknowledge him.

"Edward?" He tried again. "Son, look at me, please."

I sighed and lifted my head slowly, bringing him back into view.

"What is going on? I know you have something you wanted to discuss with your mother and I this morning. Is this why you're up? Is this weighing on you so much that you couldn't sleep last night?" He asked, concern lacing every word.

I pointed to the chair in front of his desk, and he motioned for me to sit. I slowly made my way over to it and sat down. I felt my body sag into the chair.

After about a minute, I sat up and looked to him. I saw the worry evident in his face. I hated that I was the cause of it. I was the cause of all the emotions and issues my family has endured recently…actually more like for the last year. And now, I was about to turn their world upside down, again.

I looked back down at the arm of the chair, trying to find some bit of strength to talk, but was finding it difficult to do so.

"Edward?" I looked back up at him. "Please, tell me what is going on in your mind right now. Let me see if I can help you."

I knew he wanted to fix any problem I had, but how do you fix _this. _

I decided to stick to a safer subject at this particular moment. _Bella_. The images from my dream reared their ugly head at that exact moment, and my body trembled.

I fought back a sob that was fighting its way to escape. I calmed my body for a moment, enough to give an answer of some sort to my father. "I had a bad dream last night…nightmare actually…a terrifying one. That's what has me up this early. I didn't want to go back to sleep after that."

My father nodded in acknowledgment. "Anything like the ones you been having these last couple of years?"

I shuddered in remembrance of those. I would wake up screaming, drenched in sweat every single time. I had them every single night for the first six months after what happened in Port Angeles. Pictures of my family hurt or dead, tormented me for the first year.

"Not really like those, but similar. But this time, my mind added a new participant, and I can't even fathom…" I trailed off, squeezing my eyes shut. _I won't let anything happen to her. I can't let her walk away from me._

"Bella," he said, calmly. My heart skipped a beat at the mention of her name. My eyes shot open, and I just stared at him. He nodded in understanding. "Edward, what is Bella to you?"

"What do you mean, dad?"

"I know she came with you the last time you came home, and I know it was because of the threats from James. The safety of everyone involved was paramount, and she was involved because of James' fascination with her. I know she also came to support you, to help you talk to us the last time." I nodded. "But what is she to _you_?"

I closed my eyes again, breathing in deeply. Feeling my emotions run rampant at the thought of Bella. I took one final deep breath, opened my eyes, and answered, "She's my _everything_, dad."

His eyes widened in surprise so much, that I thought I would laugh from just looking at him. The look on his face, priceless. _Was it so hard to believe that she means everything to me?_

He cleared his throat, straightening up in his chair a bit. "Well…I wasn't expecting _that_ as your answer, Edward…"

A little irked by his response, I cut him off, "Why? Is something wrong with her? Should I not be with her?"

He stated shaking his head, "NO! I didn't say that, Edward."

"Well, what did you mean by that then, dad?"

He sighed, "There is nothing wrong with Bella. Actually, your mother and I really like her. Your mother was hoping that there was something more than friendship between the two of you," he chuckled, and then continued, "Son, the way you look at her..." I nodded. "It kind of reminds me of the way I look at your mother." My heart stopped, and my breath got caught in my throat. _Was I that obvious?_ "That is not a bad thing. I love your mother like no other in this world, besides you children of course. She is the sun and moon to me." _Well, that's pretty much my thoughts of Bella. _

"Dad, I know that Bella and I just met, but I can't see my life without her in it. I have never felt anything remotely like this before. Not even with…_her._"

My father sat back in his chair, clasping his hands in his lap. "I understand, believe me I do. Like I said, I think she is a wonderful girl. Just don't let your lingering issues about Tanya…" I growled at the mention of her name. He sighed, "Edward…"

"No, dad. I fought whatever was happening between Bella and I at the beginning _because_ of that crap with…Tanya. I _also_ told Bella _everything_ that happened. The reason behind that was because of James, but the point being, I told her, and she didn't run screaming for the hills. She stayed, even knowing how fucked up my mind is…was." I groaned, running my fingers through my hair.

He sat there for a few moments, rocking back and forth in his chair, just staring at me. I felt about 3 feet tall during that whole time. _How does a parent do that? It must be some ingrained ability they inherit when they have children._

I squirmed under his gaze. "Dad," I whined, feeling like the 3 foot tall child I was at the moment.

He smirked. _Fucker._ He sat forward, placing his joined hands on the desk. "Just be careful, Edward. I know you are going through a lot right now. Just don't take it out on Bella. There will be a time when this whole issue comes to head, and it will run you ragged. Bella will stand by you, I can see that. Just don't let _your_ aggravation of it rub off on her, got it?"

I stared at him for a moment. _I wouldn't do anything to hurt Bella. Why is he even saying this?_

"I can see the wheels of confusion turning in your mind, Edward. All I'm saying, feeling what you feel for her, along with the issues and emotions attached to what's going on with James, you may end up hurting her, unintentionally of course, but this is a lot to handle all at once. Just please be careful."

"I will, dad. I promise," I said with conviction. _And he doesn't even know about the baby issue yet. Oh God. _

He nodded, sitting back in his chair. A moment later I heard a bedroom door close. I looked at dad, and he got up from his chair. "Let's go get some coffee, son. You still have something to tell your mother and I today. I think we need a little caffeine, don't you?" He smiled, walking around his desk toward his office door.

I snorted. "Yeah…maybe with something stronger added to it," I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"Come on, let's see who's up," he said, as he walked out of his office.

***MoTH***

As we walked down the hallway from his office, I see the lights in the kitchen on. I heard a few muffled voices as we got closer.

Once inside the kitchen my eyes looked around to see who was up. Mom was at the stove, stirring something in a pan. I looked over at the breakfast bar. There was Alice and Bella, sitting and talking.

"What's that smell, mom!" I heard Emmett yell from behind me. _Stupid prick. Give me a heart attack why don't you._ I turned to glare at him. "What?" He looked at me, confused.

"I think you woke up the neighbors, Em," I growled.

He laughed. "Probably," he said as he walked over to the refrigerator.

I walked over and stood next to my mother. "Good morning, mom."

She looked up at me, smiling. "Good morning, dear. You hungry?"

"A little bit. Whatcha making?" I asked as I looked at the pan.

"Just making some bacon, sausage and eggs. Sound good?" she asked.

I smiled. "Yes, ma'am. Sounds great." She looked back at me, still smiling. "Did you sleep well?" My smile faded, and she noticed. She put the spatula down and faced me, her brows furrowed. "Are you alright, baby?"

I swallowed the lump stuck in my throat. "Yeah," I croaked. I looked down at her. I saw the sadness and worry in her eyes. "I will be…soon. Will you be ready to talk after breakfast?"

A knowing look settled her features and she nodded. "Yes…whenever you are, I am."

"Good. The sooner the better," I said. "Do you need any help?" I asked, motioning to the stove.

"No, baby, I have it. Go sit down, relax, grab a cup of coffee. There's a fresh pot made," she said pointing over the counter where the coffee pot sat.

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, mom."

She looked up at me, grinning from ear to ear. I smirked back in response and walked over to get my cup of coffee.

I poured the black goodness into a large cup, turned around, and leaned up against the counter. I looked around the kitchen, taking in my different family members. Jasper and Rosalie had made it down while I was talking to my mother.

Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were sitting and talking at the table. Bella and Alice were still at the bar, and my mother and father were talking with each other while she was finished up breakfast.

My eyes made their way back over to where Bella was sitting and was surprised to see that Bella was looking at me. When she caught me looking back, she turned back to Alice, and I saw a slight tinge of pink spread to her cheeks. _Why is she blushing?_

I leaned my head to the right and watched her. The way she moved as she talked, using her hands to express herself. The way her head would fall back as she laughed. I could watch her forever.

"You're in deep aren't you?" A voice asked from beside me. I looked over and saw that Jasper had somehow managed to come stand next to me without me even noticing him.

I looked at him confused. "Say what?" I asked.

He looked over at Bella and back to me. "You are in deep," he said with a knowing grin. _Prick._

I rolled my eyes and looked away. He chuckled. "Deny it all you want, but man, I've _never_ seen you act like this…EVER," he stressed. I looked back over at him. "Congrats man. I know you weren't sure about your feelings the last time we talked about her. You said you liked her, kissed her and such, but you weren't really sure how you felt. I can see it now though, and I'm happy for you," he said with sincerity.

I shrugged, and he laughed again. "Look, Jazz, I still don't know what all this is between Bella and I, but I can't see my life without her in it." I looked back at him. "I don't want to lose her, and my father basically told me to be careful because of all the shit that's going down with James. He's afraid I might take it out on her." He looked confused for a moment and then concerned. "I don't want to fuck this up, Jazz. He thinks I still might have some lingering _Tanya_ issues as well."

"Do you?" he asked.

I sighed. "You have _no_ idea what issues I have with Tanya right now, but you may find out soon enough," I said.

Before I could elaborate, I heard my mother speak up. "Breakfast is ready everyone."

Jazz and I found our way over to the table. Bella looked up at me as I approached, and I smiled at her. Her eyes lit up in response. I took my seat next to Bella. For the next hour we ate and talked about school, classes and work – nothing heavy. Towards the end of breakfast I began to get nervous at the prospect of having to tell my parents that they might become grandparents _real_ soon. I had no idea how I was going to even begin that conversation. It wasn't like I could just come out and say, "Hey, mom and dad, guess what, you remember that bitch of an ex-girlfriend of mine, Tanya? Yeah, well, she doesn't know who the father of her baby is, and well, I might be the one." _Yeah, that wasn't going to go over well._

Suddenly, I felt Bella's hand reach for mine under the table. The moment her hand touched mine, the anxiety lessened and I felt myself relax some. I looked over at her and saw her smiling. She squeezed my hand, and I returned it.

"You okay?" she whispered.

I leaned over to her. I heard her breath hitch, and I smirked. I put my lips next to her ear and I felt her body shiver. _Damn._ I whispered back, "I am now that you're touching me."

I pulled back to see her face, and I saw her lick her lips. _She seriously needs to stop doing that._ I watched as she swallowed and opened her mouth. "Well, I'm glad I could be of some assistance."

"You are more than that, _Bella_," I said sincerely. "You are my best friend, my confidant, my rock, my…" I trailed off. _I can't honestly tell her this at the breakfast table. That's just wrong._

"Your what, Edward?" she asked, pulling me out of my musings.

I leaned back over to her, and whispered, "Can we go to _our_ place later? After I talk with my mother and father?"

Her eyes widened, and she nodded slowly. I smirked at her.

She took a deep breath in. "Are you ready to talk to your parents?" she asked, and my heart skipped a beat in anxiety. _Was I ready to do this?_

I squeezed her hand. "Only if you are there with me," I whispered.

"W-What?" she stammered.

I looked directly into her eyes, wondering if she understood how much I needed her. "Will you…come with me…" I swallowed hard. "Will you come with me when I talk to them?" I knew it was a lot to ask of her. But, she _really_ was my rock. She helped keep me grounded, sane – in a world that has me going in every direction at the moment.

"Ed-Edward, I don't think…are you…sure…you want me there?"

"Please?" I pleaded, barely a whisper.

She looked at me closely, searching for something. I didn't know what she could possibly be studying me so intently for, but whatever she was looking for she must have found because she started to slowly nod her head. "Yes, I'll go with you. Make sure that your parents are okay with it first, please," she pleaded this time.

"I will…" I said as I leaned over and kissed her cheek, her breath hitched. "Thank you," I breathed against her cheek, then lightly kissed it again.

I leaned away from her and turned to look at my parents. I noticed my mother first. The smile that graced her lips was the biggest I've seen in a long time. There was nothing but happiness radiating from her. I mentally rolled my eyes. My father of course was wearing his trademark smirk. I shook my head, smiling, knowing what it was all about. I turned back to Bella and saw that she was blushing. I couldn't help but chuckle.

I turned back to my parents as the laughter died within me, slowly being replaced by anxiety at what I was about to go and do. "Mom…Dad…is it okay if we have that talk now?" The chatter around me silenced almost immediately. I looked around the table and saw the different looks on everyone's faces. Surprise, concern, worry and confusion was amongst them.

"Sure, dear," my mother answered. "Just let me clean up and we can go into your father's office."

"We'll do it, mom," Alice jumped in.

I turned to Alice and mouthed a "thank you" to her. She smiled as she got up to clear the table. I grabbed Bella's hand, squeezing it tightly and got up from my seat. I released her hand, looked back silently telling her to hold on and walked over to my parents while they were getting up from their chairs.

When I was close enough to them, I asked quietly, "Is it okay if I bring Bella with me?"

My mother smiled. "Of course, honey."

"Sure, I don't mind, son," my father said.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to face Bella. I nodded, silently telling her that it was okay for her to come with me. My mother and father left the kitchen on their way to his office, and I stayed behind waiting for Bella.

The moment she made her way to my side, I grasped her hand, linking our fingers together. The anxiety that was coursing through my body immediately left at her touch.

"You ready?" she asked.

I looked into her eyes and took a deep breath. "As I'll ever be I guess." I exhaled roughly.

"It'll be okay, Edward. You'll see," she said with the confidence I was lacking.

"Edward?" I heard Alice call for me as we started to walk out of the kitchen.

I stopped and turned to look at her. She was flanked by Jasper and Emmett. Rosalie was standing next to Emmett. The looks on their faces made my heart swell. Their faces showed nothing but love and understanding, and it took everything in my to hold back the tears that started to prick at my eyes.

"Yes?" I choked.

"Everything will be okay. We are here for you, you know that," she said tenderly. The others nodded their heads in agreement. _My family…I don't know what I would do without them. I can't believe I treated them badly this year. I have so much to make up for._

I glanced at each of them, and then back to Alice. I swallowed the lump in my throat to try and answer her. "I know, and I'm very thankful to all of you. I'll be back out after I talk with mom and dad."

"Okay," Alice said.

I turned back towards my father's office with Bella by my side.

***MoTH***

I heard soft murmurs as we walked up to the office door. I knocked lightly, and pushed my way in. They both stopped talking and looked over at us as we came through the door. My mother smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I hated being the cause of that.

"Have a seat you two," my father said, motioning to the love seat off to the right side of his office.

With Bella's hand still linked with mine, we walked over to the love seat and sat down. I pulled her hand into my lap and clasped it with both of my mine. I needed to pull some strength from her to get through this.

"Now I know you wanted to talk with us, Edward," my mother said as she took the seat I occupied earlier this morning. I nodded in agreement. "You mentioned yesterday that it wasn't anything bad, but it also wasn't good. You know how much I worry about you, especially after what we discussed last weekend."

I closed my eyes, and groaned in frustration. _How many more times am I going to do this to my family?_

I felt a hand cover mine. I knew that it was Bella's, the electricity surged even more through my hands. My eyes slowly opened, and I looked over at her. The concern and worry were evident in her eyes, but she also had the look of determination in her features. She knew I had to do this. There was no backing out now.

I took a deep breath in and turned back to my parents. My father had joined my mother in the chair next to her.

"Okay…what I'm about to tell you…first…let me say…I just found out about this yesterday. I'm still…_dealing_ with the implications of it still," I growled. Both of their faces wore an identical frown.

"Dealing with what, son?" my father asked.

Even though Bella's touch helped to keep the anxiety and anger at bay, this was something I still hadn't had time to really grasp yet. I could be a father in a few weeks' time. I shot up of the couch and began to pace in the office.

"Edward?" my mother called. I turned to look at her. Apprehension was written all over her face. "What's going on?" she pleaded.

I went to go stand next to the fireplace, away from the three of them. The more I distanced myself from them, the harder it seemed to find the words I had to say. I placed my hands on the mantle piece, taking a moment to gather my thoughts. _I mean, how do you really come out and tell you parents they might be a grandparent and that your crazy, cheating ex-girlfriend may have never let you know?_

Taking a couple of deep breaths, I exhaled deeply, turned around and faced them. "I…I found out yesterday…" I swallowed nervously. "I ran into Tanya yesterday morning..." I heard my mother gasp. "James was there with her."

"Oh, Edward," my mother said softly.

I shook my head. I wasn't looking for sympathy. "No…it wasn't like that. That part of my life is over," I spat.

"Did James try anything with you?" my dad asked.

"No…although he did try and threaten me again…"

My mother cut me off. "What did he say, Edward?" she growled.

"I'll get to that in a moment. That really isn't the reason for this conversation."

"Alright, but you _will_ tell me what he said later on," she said forcefully. _I love my mother._

I nodded. "I will…promise…but what I have to say is a bit more important than James' idle threats," I said.

"Fine," she said.

I looked over at Bella, needing to just _see_ her. She was sitting on the edge of the couch, with her hands clasped in her lap. She had a small smile on her lips. She nodded her head knowingly. I gave her a small smile in return and turned back to my parents.

"Okay…like I said, I ran into Tanya and James yesterday. I honestly wasn't expecting to ever do so, but thankfully I did." My parents stared at me in disbelief.

"You know that I told you what happened between Tanya and I…some of it anyways." They both nodded. "Well, after I proposed to her and she told me she had been seeing James all that time too, she told me that she was four weeks pregnant at that time." I shuddered at the memory.

"Right, but what does this have to do with anything?" my father asked.

I snorted. "Everything…everything, dad."

"What are you trying to say, Edward?" My mother sounded nervous.

"Yesterday…when I _saw_ Tanya…she was much further along than she was supposed to be."

"How far along?" my father asked quickly.

"Her due date is September fourth, dad," I groaned.

I heard my mother gasp.

"Are you trying to tell us that this baby is yours, Edward?" my father asked, pain evident in his voice.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know…"

"What do you mean you don't know?" My mom shouted as she got out of her chair.

"Es, calm down…let him finish," my dad said calmly.

"I swear to God, Carlisle, I'm going to give that woman a piece of my mind," she seethed.

"Mom," she looked back over to me, and her face softened a little. "What I was trying to say is that Tanya doesn't know who the father is. But the timing puts me as a possible candidate."

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Yeah, when she originally told me back in February that she was pregnant she hadn't been to the doctor yet. But, it's between James and I as to who the father could be."

"Is she going to get a DNA test done after the baby is born?" my father asked.

I laughed. "I don't even think she planned on telling me that it was a possibility I was the father."

"What?" my mother screeched.

"I think she and James were just going to raise it regardless of who the father was," I said furiously.

"I can't believe that woman!" my mom said angrily.

"You and me both, mom," I said as I ran my hand through my hair. I needed some air. This whole conversation had not been as bad as I thought, but my nerves were still shot and the weight of the whole situation weighed heavily on me.

I looked over at Bella. She had remained quiet through the whole thing. She was still sitting there, in the same position she was in when it started. Her brows creased with worry and concern.

My father spoke up a moment later. "I can contact our family attorney and request that a DNA test be done as soon as the baby is born…if that is what you want, Edward."

I didn't know what to do, honestly. I knew I wanted to find out if I was the baby's father, but did I want to have to deal with Tanya as well? _Absolutely not!_

My eyes hadn't left Bella this whole time, and I saw the apprehension tense her body. My thoughts went back to the nightmare I had last night. The image of Bella walking away from, and not looking back, made my body shudder. I couldn't lose her. Not over this. What if the baby turned out to be mine? Would Bella stay? I couldn't expect that from her, but I wanted her to.

I found myself walking over to her. Her eyes followed my movement as I sat down next to her.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," she whispered.

I put my hand out, silently asking for hers. She looked up at me, and then back down at it. _What is she thinking? Is this too much for her? Is she going to pull away from me?_ I watched as she slowly brought her hand out and placed it in to mine. I roughly exhaled the air that I didn't realize I was holding in waiting for her response.

I heard my father calling my name, but I couldn't find it in me to answer him. I needed some time to recoup. It has been a long two weeks and it doesn't seem to be getting any better soon. I knew that I needed to figure out that stuff with Tanya and the baby, but I didn't want to think about it just yet.

I sat back on the couch, pulling Bella back with me. I turned back to my father after I heard him say my name again.

"I know that this is a lot to take in, dad, believe me. Like I said, I just found out about this yesterday and it really hasn't hit me just yet. I _do_ want to find out if the baby is mine. So, yes, call the attorney and do whatever is necessary to make sure the test is done as soon as the baby is born. I also want to find out how, if the baby is mine, I can fight for sole custody of it." I heard both Bella and my mother gasp in response to my words.

"Uh…sure, son…I'll have them look into that. Are you sure that's what you want to do?" he asked, concerned.

I chuckled darkly. "Most definitely. She cheated on me. She was going to keep this from me. I'm not going to let her get away with this."

"I agree, son. I'll have our attorney look into it, but I really want you to think about this." I looked at him incredulously. He held is hand up before I could speak. "I'm _not_ asking you to give up the child or anything like that. I'm just wanting to make sure that if this child is yours, are you willing to take him or her away from Tanya completely?"

"I'll think about it…I will…just still ask the attorney about it, please." He nodded in agreement. "Right now, this is all up in the air until the test comes back proving I am the baby's father. There is still a chance that I'm not. Until then, I'm going to live my life…I need to, or it will drive me nuts. We still have James to consider still."

My mom piped up this time. "So are you going to tell us what happened with him?"

I sighed. "It seems that James never mentioned…" I looked over to Bella, and her eyes widened. I grasped tighter on her hand in reassurance. "…Bella to Tanya. When she found out that James was interested in her, she flipped out. I told her what James had done to Bella, bringing up how she needs to think about 'playing house' with James considering his past." I felt Bella tense next to me.

"What happened next?" my father asked.

"As soon as I mentioned Port Angeles, he got irate and tried to warn me about the threats he made against me and my family. I told him that everyone knew what had happened, and that I wasn't afraid of him anymore. Then…" I trailed off. I didn't want to bring this up now. I didn't want to scare her any more than she had already been. We would make sure that Bella was safe, but just the thought of James going after her made me see red. I would literally rip him apart if he ever laid a hand on her.

My mother brought me out of my murderous thoughts. "Then what?" she asked.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I spoke. "He then decided to threaten…Bella." I felt her body go rigid immediately. I turned to face her, placing both of my hands on each side of her face gently. "Bella…I will _never_ let him hurt you. I would kill him if he did," I said with enough force behind it that her eyes widened in shock.

"Edward!" my mother snapped.

I snapped my head in her direction. The anger was building inside at the thought of him touching her. "NO! He's already gotten away with hurting who knows how many girls. I REFUSE to let her be another one of his victims!" I spat.

"Edward calm down," my father said calmly. "There is no point getting worked up right now. Esme, I know this is upsetting, but we need to think rationally and calmly about this whole situation."

"I. WILL. NOT. LET. HIM. HURT. HER," I said in a low growl. I felt Bella cover my hands with hers, and I turned back to look at her. The scared look on her face made my stomach twist into knots. _He will NEVER see the light of day if he hurts her._

I saw my father get out of his chair, making his way over to his desk. "I understand that, Edward. We will do _everything_ in our power to make sure that _all_ of you are safe, and that includes Bella too. Do you hear me?" he said forcefully.

All I could do was nod. I really needed to get out of here for a bit. I needed to collect my thoughts and put them in to perspective. How to deal with James. What to do about the baby. These were two very big situations that pulled my life into different pieces.

"Look, I think we all need to take a few moments and relax," mom said suddenly.

"I agree. Why don't relax for the day and then get together tomorrow to figure out the details on how Edward wants to proceed," dad said.

I sighed and agreed. I was ready to be done with all of it. Getting up off the couch, I reached my hand down to Bella. She grasped my hand and stood up. I looked over at my parents, they seemed to be having a silent conversation. I knew this was a lot to ask of them. Between James and now Tanya, I was ready to bust. I could only imagine what they were feeling.

Bella squeezed my hand and I turned to face her. She had a small smile playing at her lips, trying to comfort me. But, I knew she was terrified of James and what was going on with him. Now with Tanya added into the mix, I was waiting for her to run away screaming at any moment.

I brought my right hand and cupped her cheek softly, rubbing my thumb gently across it. "You don't have to do that you know." Her face quickly morphed into confusion. "You don't have to pretend that you're alright. I know _this _is a lot…and I'm sorry…"

She cut me off. "Don't apologize…you have nothing to apologize for," she said fiercely.

I sighed. "But I do. If it weren't for me…"

"Stop that!" she growled. "Who's to say that even if I didn't meet you, that James wouldn't have come into the picture anyways?"

"Still…_because_ of me, he's making it worse on you…and for _that,_ I am sorry," I said remorsefully.

Before she could say any more, my father spoke up. "Come on you two, let's get out of here."

She turned to head out of the office, and I followed behind her. My mother came up beside me and touched my arm. I stopped and looked at her. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me, tight. I had to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. There was nothing like a mother's hug. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, and I heard her sniffle. _Oh God! I can't handle it when my mother cries. _

She was making it very hard to keep those tears at bay. "Mom?" I choked.

She pulled back and wiped at her eyes. "Don't worry about me, honey. It's just a lot to take in and I worry about you, that's all."

"I'm sorry to be putting the family through all this."

"You're not putting the family through anything. We will figure all this out…together…as a family," she said with a smile.

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, mom. I love you."

Her smile got bigger, and her eyes twinkled. "I love you too, baby. Now, get out of here. Go relax for a while."

I nodded, and headed out of the office.

***MoTH***

I walked through the hallway, not sure where to head to. I thought about taking a drive to clear my head, to help get my thoughts in order. But, first things first, I needed to take a shower and get dressed. I hadn't changed since I was woken up from my nightmare early this morning.

As I walked up the stairs toward my room, I heard Bella's voice, but it was coming from Alice's room. I slowed my pace to see what she was saying.

"…this is a lot to handle, Alice. I don't know what to do," she said painfully. _Great. I knew this was too much for her. _

I heard my sister answer. "Oh, Bella, I know this is a lot, believe me. I hate to imagine what Edward is going through right now."

"I know. I feel for him…I do…I just don't know how to help him. I just don't want to see him hurt," she said.

"I know, sweetie. Neither do I. I want to scratch Tanya's eyes out I swear," Alice seethed.

Bella giggled. "I'd like to help." I smiled. _Hearing her giggle made my heart tingle._ "I can't believe that she left Edward out of the loop like that."

"I know…that's why I want to scratch her eyes out. First, she breaks his heart into a million pieces earlier this year, _then_ she finds out that he might be the father of her baby, and decides to leave him out of it all," Alice's voice rose in anger toward the end.

I had heard enough. I didn't want them to wallow in all this. _You should learn take your own advice! _I sighed and knocked on the door. Dead silence.

After a moment without an answer, I went to knock again but the door slowly opened, and Alice appeared.

"Hey, Edward," she said.

"Hey, short stuff. I was just about to hit the shower, but I heard Bella in here. Mind if I talk to her for a sec?"

She opened the door wider and motioned me to come in. As I entered the room, I found Bella sitting on Alice's bed. She met my gaze and smiled. I couldn't help but return the smile.

"I'll give you two a moment alone. I need to go talk to Jasper anyway," Alice said, and then left the room. I watched as left, and then turned back to Bella.

I walked over to where she was. Every time I was around her, it was like she pulled me in. I had to be near her.

"Hey, Edward," she said softly.

"Hi…I…uh…I was wondering if…if you'd still like to go off with me in a bit. After I take a shower and get dressed of course," I said, smiling.

She smiled. "I'd like that very much."

"Great. Let me go get ready. I'll meet you in say…fifteen minutes?"

"Alright. I'll go freshen up as well," she said as she started to rise from the bed.

"Perfect," I said, looking at her.

We both headed out to our respective rooms to get ready. After a nice hot shower, I was feeling a little bit better. Some of the lingering tension had left my body, leaving only the apprehension of the situation behind. I knew things were only going to get worse, and I needed to find a way to deal with it all before it blew up in my face. Hopefully, when I sat down with my parents and the rest of my family tomorrow, we'd be able to figure out how to handle things as they happened.

I for one hoped that Tanya's baby wasn't mine. I didn't want to have any ties to her for the rest of my life. After the hell she put me through, I was done with her for good. I wanted to move on with my life, finally. Even though I swore I would never let another woman in to my heart, Isabella Swan managed to do that without my permission, and without even trying.

Going to _our _spot this afternoon would give me a chance to tell her how I felt about everything. _Can I tell her how I feel about her? I'm still not sure how I feel. I know that I can't be without her, but do I love her? Yes, I do. Should I tell her that? Is it too soon?_ I would have to let her lead in that department. I didn't want to scare her off by blurting so soon.

I finished getting ready and headed down to the living room where I heard everyone gathered. I couldn't wait to grab Bella and go. I really just wanted to spend time with her and talk. Talk without constraints and an audience. I wanted to see how she felt about everything. Make sure that this wasn't too much for her, and if it was, how could I help alleviate some of her worry. Like I said before, I didn't want to lose her, and I will do whatever was necessary to make sure she didn't walk away from me. I didn't want my nightmare to become a reality.

**~*Twilightgirl224**

**A/N: Next up will be Edward and Bella's talk. Will this be too much for her? Will she stay? How does she feel about Edward? There are many questions left unanswered, and next we will find out what she stands. What do you think?**


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